Education is necessary, but skills are essential. Unfortunately, our education system per se is such that it hardly helps an individual develop skills. Much less the skills, I think, are most important for living life happily and successfully. I am talking about two skills in particular –
- Skill of managing self.
- Skill of managing relationships.
A child is born with some tendencies which may have a lot to do with his/her parentage. What is his father’s attitude to life, what is that of his mother, and more importantly how is their relationship with each other. While these factors continue to have their influence on the growth of the child, various other influences start playing an important role during the growing years. The teacher, the class mates, friends, relatives, and neighbors – all influence the child. It is hard to say how much these help in developing either of the two skills which I have mentioned above – skill with self, and skill with other people.
So what should be done? What are the best steps that can be taken by all concerned for developing both these skills – skill with self & skill with people?
The education system, as it is today, can hardly help. Teachers are bound by the curriculum and the parents may not be able to find the time from their busy schedule in the modern competitive life. But the ever growing media today can play a very important role provided parents are able to guide and regulate the exposure and use of the media by the child.
The significance of Internet must not be undermined. All the knowledge required is available on the net. But one may say that a skill cannot be delivered by the information/knowledge on the net. Yes it is true to a large extent. Yet, you tube presentations and other interactive programs make it possible to learn a lot from the net. In times to come, I am sure; the growth of the social media with websites focusing on special subjects will bring about a revolution in the concept of education and training. The need is that the parents, teachers and mentors motivate learners to be focused and stick to what they need to do. They should not be distracted.
Developing skill with yourself, to me, means your ability to listen and talk to your own self. It also means to understand your heart, identify what you really like. Thereafter, one needs to concentrate one’s energies towards these. You must leverage your talent and your fondness.
Developing skill with people, simple means to understand basic human psychology. Your interaction with them should never ignore the following fundamental principles;
- That each person is interested in himself/herself more than you.
- That I, me, mine put people off.
- That making people talk makes them feel important.
- That when you win an argument you lose a friend.
- That listening attentively to others will impress them. They like you most when you do that.
- That you need to skillfully convince people. If you say something that is obviously to your advantage, people will be skeptical. So do it differently. Say how an important third person appreciated your products/efforts/services. This will help build confidence in the minds of people about you.
Thanks for reading.
Life has many facets: habits, aspirations, goals, significance etc. It is rare that there has been an artist who was also a good householder and a progressive human being. When I say a good householder, I mean one who facilitates the family in all respects. He not only provides for them materially but also emotionally. This is so, typical for a family man. But when we talk of an individual who doesn’t have a family, they too will have to find out their goals; what they want to do in life by controlling or changing their habits. In these circumstances it is difficult to imagine an artist who is totally devoted to his/her passion for art putting similar emphasis/importance on all the other aspects of life, as said above.
Therefore I think we must understand and practice the ‘Secrets of Happy Living’.
- The first secret, according to me, would be ‘Self Awareness’. An individual needs to be conscious of his own body, state of mind including thoughts, actions, ideas, feeling and interaction with others. Besides, self awareness has to be a continuous process. It’s only then that you can mould your thoughts, actions and relationship with others. Without doubt, this requires a constant review. The process teaches you how to go about finding solutions to the problems.
- The second secret is setting priorities. It is not only fixing the priorities but also scheduling them according to their relative importance. We must remember that when we schedule a task and provide a time slot, it is not necessary that time allocated will always be found sufficient. Time management is another important aspect to be reviewed from time to time. The discipline that you require for constant follow up requires a logical approach. It should have nothing to do with the moods of the person. When a particular task is not finished as per schedule you need to provide the next slot and abide by it. This protocol alone can bring about the desired results.
- The third secret is necessary to develop a keen sense of focus. To my mind doing only one thing at a time is the best approach. As far as possible there should be no interruption. Equally important is your total mind and soul into what you are doing. One has to start living in the present, moment to moment. Deliberate effort may be required for some time but then it becomes your habit and you start navigating you life as if you are flying an airplane.
- Lastly, the fourth secret is your speech. It is critically important. Because we have to interact with colleagues, family members and the society at large, we must choose our words and use them effectively. Any wrong choice or casual approach towards this very important aspect of human personality can be disastrous. Speech must always be clear; words should be chosen with discretion and spoken effectively. Speech helps to maintain and improve our relations in any environment.
To conclude I would like to say that a successful life in modern times requires us to know and practice these and any other secret that works for us.
Thanks for reading.
How to achieve goals?
- First, you must write down your goals in clear specific language. Then start with not only visualising but also seeing your goals as clearly as you have written down. For example, if your goal is to go to Italy and visit Venice, activate your imagination and see that you are in a boat in Venice. Likewise, if you want to buy a specific expensive car say BMW, you should imagine or see yourself riding the BMW.
- You have to figure out that the sense of believing that you have already achieved the goal is to start looking at it.
- Next, you need to understand the obstacles. If all things were very easy then nobody would need to create goals, write goals or work hard to achieve them. Things are not easy and they will never be easy. Once you see yourself achieving your specific goal, then you sit down and work out what are the kind of obstacles you might face. There will definitely be some obstacles, which you can visualize. And one more important thing to remember is that as you move forward towards achieving your goal, some unexpected obstacle will also come which you will have to conquer. It is only your determination, your decision and your perseverance that you will some way or the other help achieve the goal that you have already imagined.
- Create a mental picture that the obstacles are coming and you are conquering all the obstacles. Imagine that there is an athlete who is running an obstacle race, while he is running fast; he is also crossing the obstacles. Likewise, now that you know what kind of obstacles will come, you imagine crossing those obstacles, picture yourself conquering those obstacles and still carrying on with your mission.
- Many doubts can arise in your mind. It is normal. However, clear all the doubts, clear your mind of all doubts which often come, which are quite natural. You say to yourself, nothing doing, no such doubts will stop me from achieving my goal. I have a clear picture of achieving my goal, I am determined and I have created a mental picture of conquering my obstacles. Therefore, there is no doubt that I can do it. The goal itself is a challenge. And all the obstacles that you face while pursuing the goal, will also be kind of smaller challenges. Embrace the challenge. It is an opportunity which will definitely enhance your courage, which will give you more will power to pursue and to be successful. Stay on track. Keep up on the track following the same thing, which you have defined and seeing yourself achieving it. There should be no diversion. Staying on track will definitely make it easier for you to overcome the obstacles and reach your goal. Eventually show the world you can do it. As I say, SUCCESS stands for,
S – See your goal
U – Understand the obstacles
C – Create positive mental pictures
C – Clear your mind of self-doubts
E – Embrace the challenges
S – Stay on track
S – Show the world you can do it.
When the goal is a big project, define it and write it down. Then have a very strong desire for it. That is the kind of motivation, which is necessary to follow the steps that I have already mentioned.
- Believe in yourself; that you can do it and then you will do it.
- If it is an arduous task and a big project, split it up. Split it into smaller goals and then give a time line to those smaller goals. You must review these every day. You have to review what you have done. You have to check if you have come up to your expectations or not. This step is extremely important. Schedule it, add a timeline to all smaller goals and then do it.
Thanks for reading.
I come across a small story on the net though I could not find the name of the author for acknowledgement, I am sharing it with friends on my blog.
It gives a number of lessons which all of us must not only learn but imbibe in our lives. Some of the lessons which I have learnt are:
- Maintain poise in all circumstances. Ups and downs are quite normal in our lives. Losing our calm in challenging situations can only make matters worse, but it will never help.
- Control your anger particularly when you are in problem. It is normal to find someone to blame. But almost always we have to regret our behavior later on.
- A person who is dedicated to his duty has the ability to maintain his/her cool. So always understand the duty clearly and carry it out happily.
Now the story:
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call as soon as possible, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled:“Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”
The doctor smiled & said:“I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”
“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would U calm down? If your own son dies now what will U do??” said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again & replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”
“Giving advises when we’re not concerned is so easy” murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “thank goodness!, your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”
“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.
The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”
Moral-Never judge anyone….. Because you never know how their life is & what they’re going through”
hit ”share” if this story touched your heart…
Thanks for reading.
About 500 years ago Shakespeare wrote the tragic play- ‘Hamlet’. His tragedy emanates from major personality flaw- indecision. Indeed, the drama exaggerates the flaw and the hero suffers a disaster. This malady is, however, more wide spread in the current scenario. The acute competition & the rat race of the present times have made fear of rejection more prominent than ever before. The gin of fear is causing tremendous stress to most people. Four steps are listed below that will help mitigating the fear which is main cause of indecision.
- Always remember that ‘left to themselves things go from bad to worse’. This you must have experienced in life. So the very memory will wake you up from the slumber and you will try to find a solution to the pending problem. Surely, you will need to take decision about the action you need to take- sooner than later. Get yourself motivated to ward off the indecision, thus.
- Whenever their some important project, you may write down the problem in detail. Now, think about the possible solutions. Then note down the pros and cons in respect of each. This will help you to decide easier and faster. But never fear about wrong decisions. Some decisions go wrong for everyone. The more you start taking decisions, you will find that incidence of wrong decisions will reduce.
- Your indecision could also be because of lack of adequate knowledge about the subject. Instead of worrying about what will happen if decision goes wrong, work hard to gain the required knowledge about the subject. The moment you know the subject well, you will find, it’s easier to decide. Fortunately, we have Google and other sites which instantaneously provide sufficient information on any subject.
- And if you are a habitual procrastinator, you must at once say to yourself that your habit has let you down on earlier accessions. You have suffered earlier. Therefore, you would not like to repeat your past mistakes. Procrastination is a disease. It needs to be eradicated from life. Whatever is necessary; you must do to cure the deadly disease.
There could be some more causes which each of us should identify fo himself/herself and then work on these. But indecision should not be allowed to hinder your progress.
Thanks for reading.