Today we will discuss self-confidence. What is self confidence? If I were to classify various attributes of self confidence, there are four significant things that come to mind: One Attitude & Habits. Second Physical Self. Third Mental Efficacy. Last but not the least: Character related aspects.
Let us know discuss each on in detail:
1. Attitude & Habits:
It is your attitude that brings positivity and that which makes you action oriented. Therefore it is necessary that on anything and everything you should take positive actions. When I say positive action, I mean that is should be your decisive step towards solving any problem.
Related with this is overcoming procrastination. When you are action oriented, there is no room for procrastination. You become active, you look forward to take some action to realize your short term or long term goals. In fact, procrastination is a habit which takes you back. You dont like to do anything. Inaction fills your life. In fact it destroys your life force.
Set small things and achieve them:
How to become action oriented or how should we be more active that requires self motivation. Self motivation comes easily even if we have small successes. There are some jobs in a day which would hardly take a few minutes each. When you complete these you get a sense of satisfaction which motivates you to take up more challenging jobs. This process snow balls into you becoming a man of action.
Clear the clutter:
It is very important to keep your mind free of clutter. On an average 50,000 thoughts come to an individuals mind in a day. But they do not come one after another. They jumble together and create the clutter. It is like we are doing a lot of research with the help of our computer, we select some information and reject the other, we keep working as our mind thinks on the topic. Now unless we clean the cache memory, our mobile or computer becomes slow. This is because of the clutter. Likewise, when there is a clutter of thoughts because they are not cleaned, it causes confusion in the mind and the efficiency of thinking and decision making suffers.
When we talk of cleaning the clutter, it would be helpful if we have no clutter on the desks, in the wardrobe, where you sit etc. So in each and everything keep clutter away.
Your attitude and habits are intertwined. Habits affect your attitude, which in turn breeds good or bad habits.
2. Physical Self:
The next important part is comparatively simpler. It is taking care of your physical self. Though it is simple, it is equally important. As they say, the first 10 seconds when you meet anyone, create a lasting impression. This is what is done by your physical self.
You must dress neatly. Choose color combinations wisely and wear clothes with perfect fit as per the fashion of the day. It is not difficult to know this as you are exposed to media. Just look at the elegant people what kind of clothes they wear and take inspiration from them.
Grooming is extremely important for self-confidence. This is taking care of your personal hygiene. For example if your nails are uncut, it will affect your self-confidence to a small extent. Likewise hair should be well trimmed. If you are keeping a beard, that also should be elegantly trimmed. Teeth must not be yellowish. Brushing should not be in a hurry, take your time and use a proper tooth paste. In any case the whiter your teeth, the more beautiful your smile. Similarly keep the face clean, washing it as many times as you can even though with plain water.
You must always stand tall. Imaging a finger over your head and you are trying to touch the finger with the top of your head. Your posture will be good and will increase your height by half to one inch. Shoulders should not be drooping and the chest should neither stretch outward, pushed downwards. Important thing is that you should never develop a pot belly.
The best part of your dress is your smile. Try to develop a very pleasant smile. Obviously, you cant have a laughter smile for everyone it may be a good idea to practice different kinds of smile that you may use on different occasions with different people. You cant smile at a stranger the way you greet a friend you are meeting after a long time. Yet smile you must.
How you maintain your body and stand tall and groom depends upon your physical fitness efforts. This should never be ignored. Always consider that nothing significant howsoever small comes easily. Every good thing requires personal attention and necessary action. Therefore exercising regularly is a must. Further never strain your energy. Assess your limits of physical work and remain within limits.
3. Mental Well being:
When we talk about mental well being, the first thing is that one must have positive thoughts. They say thoughts convert into decisions, which in turn create the actions. Thus it is very important to ensure that one all the time thinks positive. It is difficult, but the only way one can handle the mind is to keep on doing something which contributes to your goal. Positive actions encourage you to think positively on all aspects of life.
When we keep on focusing on creating positive thoughts it also helps to kill the negativity which each one of us has in some measure. What is negative thinking? Whenever there is a job to be done, instead of focusing on actions, and on solutions, one starts focusing on the problems. No doubt, problems are always there, but if we keep on thinking about them they appear larger than they actually are. They discourage a person from pursuing challenging tasks. Therefore it is imperative to eradicate negativity from ones personality. It does not mean overlooking the problems that we have to face, it only means that you factor these problems and keep on focusing on the positive solutions and acting on them.
Get to know yourself:
Often times we keep on following our routine, we pursue the routine as if that is only life; we forget the importance of defining our significance in pursuing some mission. Now this requires a proper understanding of your own self. Contemplate and observe what are your weaknesses and what are your strengths. It is only when you know what are your weaknesses, you can make a plan to resolve and overcome these or mitigate these weaknesses. At the same time, we must leverage our strength. Everyone possesses some talent; everyone is good in something or the other, it is only when we recognize that we can make use of our strengths. It also helps us to define and pursue our goals.
Ability to change habits:
We are products of our habits. During the day we do many things without thinking. We carry on these activities due to force of habit. We might observe that certain habits are coming in the way of our development, but we may feel that these are old habits and it is difficult to change. Once we accept that we cannot change our habits we are creating a serious road block in the development of our personality and our career. It is best to make small changes at a time, and proceed to remove all the habits which we need to change.
One should never be overconfident that he or she can handle any situation. We should always prepare. The effort involved in preparation depends upon the importance of the job or the demands of the occasion. Even when we are meeting somebody who can impact our lives, we must contemplate, think and be clear to ourselves about the objectives of our meeting. This will enable us to remain focused. However, this can happen only if we habitually prepare for all tasks, all meetings, and anything new that we may be wanting to do.
Focus on solutions:
Last but not the least point in this section of mental well being is training the mind to focus only on solutions. Finding solutions should interest us all the time. This may require acquiring knowledge, this may require application of mind. This may even require seeking help from others. However, whatever it takes, we must do and focus only on solutions of the problems which we are bound to face during the journey of life. In our greatest book of knowledge the Bhagavad Gita it is always said that we must fight our battles. Fighting the battles in other words means finding solutions and acting upon them.
4. Character aspects
Character aspects of a person are also responsible for self confidence. Evidently if a person is not doing what he/she should, there is a guilt feeling. Of course this is a relationship with others. This is about how you behave with others not as a matter of impressing people but as a part of your character. In this section, I will like to deal with the following aspects:
When we talk about volunteering, we must remember that we are a part of society. Society can progress with the contributions of everyone. There are lots of organizations which are working towards this cause. Unfortunately there could be some, which in the name of volunteering, try to fulfill their own agenda, which is often making money. But for an individual it is an aspect of character. When you genuinely volunteer, and work for a cause without expectation, you develop an inner strength.
Each of us is endowed with a lot of tangible and intangible assets. It is necessary for us to be grateful to the almighty. We may not have all what we want to have. We may feel why others are more prosperous, nevertheless that should never deter us from being grateful for everything that we have.
Being kind and generous:
This is a very important part of the character. If you are stingy and unkind, it will always prick your conscience, until you become a villain in your own estimation. Under no circumstances one should take sadistic pleasure by bringing other people down or even showing others down. Being stingy is also equally bad. All the time you are engaged in worrysome calculations. That is not a good life to live. On the other side, if you are kind and generous, it helps you to build your self esteem. You start respecting yourself. We must always remember that if dont respect ourselves, how can we expect others to respect us.
Know your principles and live them:
Character means following certain principles. It also means that these principles are followed as a matter of choice and not under compulsion. Therefore it is extremely essential that you define your principles. It could be inspired by your role models, these could be inspired by the historical heroes, or these could also be a gift of your family elders. Having defined your principles, you must follow them in a disciplined manner. This may be inconvenient at times, but true character means that in spite of facing difficulties you stick to principles. That is what is called living your principles.
Empower yourself with knowledge:
Last but not the least, strong character requires that you keep on acquiring knowledge. Knowledge is endless. You must always have the curiosity to discover the unknown, curiosity to have a better perspective of life based on your experiences and your learning. Reading should be a part of each individuals life, and is necessary step in self development for enhancing the character and developing self confidence.