Happiness is not expensive.

Today, when there is so much of information available on all human emotions and the reasons thereof, no one has any right or reason to be unhappy.
Actually earlier too, there was never a reason for people to be unhappy. Abraham Lincoln said in the early 19th century that ‘most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ However at that time there was no internet, literature was scanty and hardly available. Today, with the internet all the information and the images that one may require to collect about happiness, are easily available.
Vikram a student of 6th standard volunteered to collect the relevant information and the images on ‘how to be happy’. I reproduce the material collected by Vikram in about half an hour.
When I went through it, I found that anyone who would spend some time to read the knowledge collected by Vikram and see the pictures again collected by him should be never unhappy.
He informed me that he collected the pictures from Google images. Further, he collected the entire written material from Wikipedia. Please spend some time to look at the pictures and also a few minutes on reading the text which he collected from Wikipedia.

A smiling Rebecca L. Felton
Research has produced many different views on causes of happiness, and on factors that correlate with happiness, but no validated method has been found to substantially improve long-term happiness in a meaningful way for most people.

Sonja Lyubomirsky concludes in her book The How of Happiness that 50 percent of a given human’s happiness level is genetically determined (based on twin studies), 10 percent is affected by life circumstances and situation, and a remaining 40 percent of happiness is subject to self-control.

The results of the 75 year Grant study of Harvard undergraduates show a high correlation of loving relationship, especially with parents, with later life wellbeing
Psychologist Martin Seligman asserts that happiness is not solely derived from external, momentary pleasures, and provides the acronym PERMA to summarize Positive Psychology’s correlational findings: humans seem happiest when they have

1. Pleasure (tasty food, warm baths, etc.),

2. Engagement (or flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity),

3. Relationships (social ties have turned out to be extremely reliable indicator of happiness),

4. Meaning (a perceived quest or belonging to something bigger), and

5. Accomplishments (having realized tangible goals

6. Abraham Harold Maslow, an American professor of psychology, founded humanistic psychology in the 1930s. A visual aid he created to explain his theory, which he called the hierarchy of needs, is a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological, and physical. When a human being ascends the steps of the pyramid, he reaches self-actualization.

7. Beyond the routine of needs fulfillment, Maslow envisioned moments of extraordinary experience, known as peak experiences, profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, during which a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient, and yet a part of the world. This is similar to the flow concept of Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.

8. Self-determination theory relates intrinsic motivation to three needs: competence, autonomy, and relatedness

HEALTH

1. Richard Davidson‘s 2012 bestseller The Emotional Life of Your Brain argues that positive emotion and happiness benefit your long-term health. From a study conducted in 2005 by Andrew Steptow and Michael Marmot, findings have found that happiness is clearly related to biological markers that play an important role in health.

2. At University College London, Steptow and Marmot collected health and well-being data from 116 men and 100 women. All 216 participants were middle-aged, British civil servants between the ages of 45 and 59. The researchers aimed to analyze whether there was any association between well-being and three biological markers: heart rate, cortisol levels, and plasma fibrinogen levels. Interestingly, the participants who rated themselves the least happy had cortisol levels that were 48% higher than those who rated themselves as the most happy. The least happy subjects also had a large plasma fibrinogen response to two stress-inducing tasks: the Stroop test, and tracing a star seen in a mirror image.

3.In Happy People Live Longer, Frey reports that happy people live 14% longer, increasing longevity 7.5 to 10 years.

4.Steptow and Marmot furthered their studies by using their participants three years later to repeat the physiological measurements. They found that participants who scored high in positive emotion continued to have lower levels of cortisol and fibrinogen, as well as a lower heart rate.

5.Despite a large body of positive psychological research into the relationship between happiness and productivity, happiness at work has traditionally been seen as a potential by-product of positive outcomes at work, rather than a pathway to success in business. However a growing number of scholars, including Boehm and Lyubomirsky, argue that it should be viewed as one of the major sources of positive outcomes in the workplace.

Thanks for reading.

Who took away my peace of mind?

Nobody else did. It’s lack of understanding by you, your mind. It’s difficult to conceive the vastness of the ocean. But it is even more difficult to imagine the vastness of the mind. Sea is often very calm only sometimes it is turbulent. While an ocean is turbulence only at some occasions, the mind is at peace on only sometime. The confusion of the mind primarily arises due to the contradictions experienced in the fast paced life today. There is nothing that we can do for turbulence of the ocean. We can certainly tame our mind to achieve calmness and peace.

In fact peace of mind requires only your focus and consistent reminders to yourself. It has no tangible cost. It’s free
Nature – what it does? When it does? It remains unknown to mankind. Though there is no doubt that extensive study of nature has given us the knowledge and power to predict.
But when we talk of mind it is our choice to train it to be at peace most of the time. We have to understand the difference between peace and bliss. Peace is not bliss but peace offers you an ability to get into state of bliss when you want.
At work place, if you are doing something that you don’t like to do yet you have to do it under compulsion, your mind cannot be at peace. When you are lost in your work and you know that the work is important for you, you are a peace with yourself. Further, if you enjoy your work then every milestone that you achieve will give you bliss. There are the number of Dos and Don’ts which help you to gain peace of mind.
First, let us enumerate the don’ts:

1. Don’t get too much involved in reading the negative news. Our newspapers and electronic media are full these. You may scan through the headlines to be abreast with what is going on. Read books that will give you positivity. So many are available choose what you like and read to follow good suggestions.

Description: Image result for 2. Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude

2. Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude. Interaction with them will sink their negativity into your subconscious mind. Be always pleasant and nice. But instead of spending your valuable time, give them a broad smile and excuse four self.

3. Regard each person as an individual. They are entitled to hold their opinions. Do not be judgmental. Negative emotions like envy, jealousy, criticism of others will affect your peace of mind. So avoid these. But at the same time don’t just agree with anyone just to please humor her. Stand up for yourself.

4. Past is history. It does not have any significance except the lessons you have learnt. So don’t dwell on your past. Its human nature that your thought will hover round events in the past- unpleasant or even pleasant. Just follow lessons that you have learnt.

5. Become friends with members of your family. Children are very intelligent today and they should be treated as friends. Likewise you should be friendly with your spouse. When you talk to your family, particularly, don’t be casual taking them for granted. It’s important what you speak but it is even more important how you say it.

6. Your speech controls your relations with others including members of your family. Therefore use your words with care and discretion. The way you say something is as important as what you say.

7. Don’t be too much attached with your possessions. Practice detachment. What we have today, we may not have tomorrow.

Now about the dos!

1.Learn to focus your mind. Cut the clutter. On and average there comes as many as fifty thousand thoughts in one day. Try to reduce this number by focusing your mind.

2. Practice meditation. It will help more than one can imagine.

3. Cultivate a habit to enjoy only healthy food. Decide that you must eat slightly less than your hunger.

4. Go on vacation periodically. The cycle of routine work needs to be broken as often as possible.

5. Give yourself some quality time. Talk to yourself. Talk about what you like about you. And, further improve the same.

6. Make it your habit to consider that challenges are your opportunities. When you face these challenges with success, it gives you happiness and your mind becomes peaceful.

Thanks for reading.

How to improve your personality for success and happiness?

5 Steps to understand and build up a better personality.

Personality comprises understanding self, fixing one’s goals, physical and mental health and various other facets of the person as seen by himself/herself and as seen by others. Indeed, understanding personality is not easy. But it is extremely important. It is important for your success. More importantly it helps you to achieve happiness. The study of personality can be said to have its origins in the fundamental idea that people are distinguished by their characteristic individual patterns of behavior—the distinctive ways in which they walk, talk, furnish their living quarters, or express their urges. Whatever the behavior, personologists—as those who systematically study personality are called—examine how people differ in the ways they express themselves and attempt to determine the causes of these differences.

First, understand yourself.

Each one of us must sit down and contemplate about life’s significance. It’s a kind of vision statement which one must clarify to himself/herself. The act of contemplation on significance will always help you to adopt and maintain a proper prospective. Before researching possible career moves it is useful to spend time understanding yourself, including your capabilities, expertise and personal values. Being self-aware can help you to plan development and make career decisions that are right for you.

Write down your specific goals.

By and large everyone has wishes. But these are not specific desires. Wishes become desire only when you specify your goals. Wishes do not allowed you to focus and take actions needed for achievements. These wishes often times remain wishes. Further unrealized wishes erode self esteem. It is imperative therefore to write down clearly on your goals. Goals would state the time frame goals should also clarify how you plan to achieve. Its only when you make a practical plan that you can pursue your goals.

Physical and Mental Health both are equally important.

First on the list of your goals should be good health. One can achieve physically good health by taking care of food, exercise and sleep. Human body is made to last for about 100 years. So we need to use all the faculties with discretion. We must not over use, under-use, but strike a good balance and keep on becoming more effective. Mental health is even more important. It refers to your thoughts, your behavior and your attitude towards others. It also refers to your attitude towards life. A clear distinction is often made between ‘mind’ and ‘body’. Poor physical health can lead to an increased risk of developing mental health problems.

Good Communication Skills are Critical for your better relations at the workplace and at home.

We all communicate right from the time we are able to speak. In fact babies start communicating immediately after birth. As we grow the social considerations keep on shaping our communication skills. Besides the influence of people around, parents, teachers, friends and others we meet also create an impact. We can develop and maintain good communication skills only with regular review of our ability regarding communications. Good communication skills can aid in helping you land an interview and pass the selection process. Being able to articulate well provides a significant advantage! To do your job effectively, you have to discuss problems, request information, interact with others, and have good human relations skills – these are all part of having good communication skills.

Application of Mind at all times ensures that you remain on track.

Application of mind enables you to analyze any situation. It enables you to review your performance even in challenges. In fact, human sufferings impart great life’s lessons one should be willing to learn these lessons. Knowledge acquired through reading books, attending training programs and interacting others play an important role. One should never be judgmental. However it’s necessary to apply mind and to form opinions about anything that concerns us. This process helps us to become more decisive to pursue our goals. Present day world whatever we see and enjoy are nothing but result of application of mind. Application of mind is more important than knowledge.

Thanks for reading.

How to be a good listener, to be popular, and to be respected?

Loved breeds happiness. And when you make others happy, you are loved. There is a close bond between love and happiness. So, how does listening help you in being loved and being happy? This is the subject of our discussion in this essay. The feeling that you are being loved brings you satisfaction. It enhances your self esteem and results in happiness. When others care for you, you feel important and when they listen to you, you feel significant and elated which adds to your happiness. Same is true when you listen to them.

Let’s deal with the subject by considering the following 3 questions:

What is good listening?
How does it help you to being loved?
How does it help you to be happy?

Question 1. What is good listening?

i) Ask question only to ensure understanding.

It requires you to put your agenda aside and totally devote to understanding and assimilating what is being said. You don’t listen to give a reply, but you just listen to understand. The moment you become keen to give a reply, your mind will start analyzing the speech from your own perspective. It will hinder your ‘objective’ understanding. You should, add comments, seek clarifications or ask question only after listening, understand and assimilating what is said.

ii) You should always be self-aware and live in present.

There should be no thoughts about the past nor should you think about future, when conversing with someone.

iii) Body language is important post of communication.

You need also to understand the body language of the speaker. And, this would include eye contact, posture, facial expression etc.

iv) Listening needs to be non-judgmental.

You must not allow your likes and dislikes or personal prejudice to affect the meaning the speakers wants to project.

v) Listening is more important than speaking.

To be listened is so important for the people that many a times they will like to be heard rather than just granted the request what they requested.

vi) Learn the process of active listening.

Active listening calls for you to listen about 80% of the time without interruption balance 20% of the time you may ask questions. This will indeed be an attribute of good listening.

vii) Assumptions misguide and sometimes these are dangerous!

You need to make it known to the speaker that you are attentively listening. Thus, your nods with your head and words like ‘Yes’hmm ‘I see, I agree go long way to make be you an adept active listener.

viii) Relaxed mind is more receptive.

You will indeed enjoy your choice of active listening with the results that you will derive from the activity.

Question 2. How does active listening help you to being loved?
Now we can consider how listening actively makes others happy and make you in turn happy. They not only respect you but they love you if you actively listen to what they say.

Try to reflect what the speaker is feeling be at the same plane.

The speaker feels that he/she are important when you carefully listen to them. They are reassured that you care for them. In turn they will care for you. The speaker thinks that they have some worthy ideas that is being expressed. And if you don’t listen to them with due attention, they will feel let down. But if on the other hand you not only listen but make it known that you have listened, the speaker will feel elated and happy and so will you be.

Respect is always mutual, you have to earn respect. You have to make others happy to receive positive vibes making you happy in return.
Besides, better listening rids you of any bitter discussion. You understand that these are futile. Avoiding arguing, you also avoid bitterness which often is the result of trying to win an agreement. Active listening empowers you to hold your opinion without any offence. Because of your listening skills you are in a position to offer you opinion in a relevant manner. When your conversation with everyone becomes more meaningful, both of you enjoy it. Undoubtedly it brings happiness.

Exchange of ideas in such a situation brings about a lot of learning on both sides. Continuous learning raises your self –esteem which in turn makes you satisfied with yourself and be contented.

In fact, even between the spouses the problem starts with one not listening to other. One feels ignored and the problem starts. Left unattended, it grows into unmanageable differences. If we are unhappy at home or at the work, place life is messed up.

Children too turn rebellious because they feel that parents don’t try to understand them. In the fast changing world today maintaining good relations is more challenging than ever. Yet good relationship is emanating from better understanding which forms the foundation of respect and love.
So if you want to be loved by others listen to them and make them feel that they are loved. If you want to gain happiness distribute the same among others who will gladly reciprocate.

Question 3. How does Good Listening help you to be Happy?

Every living being has physiological needs and safety needs. Living being must have food to live and is keen to care for life. That part is survival story. No happiness is involved. But, after survival needs are fulfilled, psychological needs come to the fore for human beings.
As social entities, humans want to have a feeling of belonging. It’s an experience that they belong to a community, a family or a group gives them a feeling of satisfaction. If they are alone and uncared their psychological craving of togetherness disturbs them.
Good listening helps you to have cordial relations with your family and friends. When you listen to them they come closer to you, they experience that you are giving them importance. By listening you reassure them of their significance. Inwardly they feel obliged to you as you are fulfilling their psychological need of heart to heart communication.
As we discussed earlier ability to express your ideas give a great satisfaction. However, you approve of your ability only if the listeners pay attention, understand and when possible and needed, take action. Likewise when you are actively listening, the speaker feels comfortable and satisfied with his skill of expression. In turn the process fosters better relation and love for each other. This is particularly important among the family members and close friends.

Besides, when you speak, you say what you already know. No doubt it satisfies your need for expression, but you don’t learn anything new. But listening gives you the opportunity to learn what you don’t know. Learning gives a great satisfaction and enhances your self esteem. When your self esteem is high you wish to do greater things. Self-esteem enables you to venture on the new turf, start new project. Maslow’s theory of happiness is recognized as the last word in respect of this great wishful emotion-happiness.
“There is a clear distinction between love and respect or esteem. The ability to feel self-esteem springs from being embraced by families and communities”. Further, you become more creative which again contributes to your confidence.
Good listening also helps you to mitigate your personal ego. Because when you are full of ego, you tend to behave as if you know all and therefore you shun listening, much less active listening.

Actualization makes you really happy. And what is actualization? Maslow defines actualization as “what a man can be, he must be. This need may be referred to the desire for self-fulfillment. So discovery of self, understanding the capabilities and then doing what it takes to actualize yourself will grant the best results. But this cannot take place unless you are a good listener.

Further, survey reveals that you tend to perceive situations, people and their reality more accurately if you are good listeners.
With all the advantages described above there remains no doubt that listening and its resultant process will make you one, who understands the world and the people better. This understanding will make you happier, more than your expectations.

Thanks for reading.

Pursuit of Happiness

**Happiness is your own individual decision**

Everyone in his/her life pursues various objectives and goals with the ultimate objective of achieving happiness. ‘Pursuit of the happiness’, these words initial used by US president Jeffereson Devis. Subsequently they were made popular by Martin Luther king in his famous speech ‘I have a dream’. No doubt, everyone has a right to pursue happiness in whichever way the person likes. However, very often we are so much involved in daily routine that we are carried away by the string of events. In the process, we lose focus on what we are trying to achieve. It will be a good exercise for each one of us to reflect on these words and work out and define what is how you plan to pursue your happiness.
Firstly, we must understand that happiness is not just momentary pleasures of life. I do not say that pleasures of life should not be there. But that these should be only a part of our larger plan, which should addresses some or all of the related features of happiness. The following aspects are of immense importance in an individual’s life.
Your attitude to life. One must have a positive attitude. Life is full of ups and downs. There could be challenges, successes and failures. Positive attitude means just to accept these as a part of life. You become a witness or an observer of what is going. At the same time, use your discretion to take decisions. It’s only then that we understand that we can remain composed and maintain our poise in turbulent times. In fact, it is necessary to maintain our poise even in the happiest time. None of the two situations last forever. Like every night is followed by the day. Every day is followed by night. But in life it may not be in the same order and the duration may also vastly differ.

Importance of your Goals: In order that you pursue happiness, you must define your goals: in all of the following aspects.

Health goals. Good mental and physical health is extremely important if you want to lead a happy life. Doing what is necessary to keep good health is everyone’s duty. Regular exercise, following proper food routine and maintaining positive attitude can ensure that you are moving towards your health goals from day to day. Yet, it is a continuous process to pursue throughout the life.
Career/ financial goals. If you are successful in your career it expected that you will also do your financial and remain comfortable but you have to find tune of your objectives and follow the plan as devised.
Your family is undoubtedly equally important and should feature in your pursuit of happiness, according to our own Indian tradition. The importance of finance and family are critical in your pursuit.
Then comes to your social goals. What do want to contribute to the society and what you actually do, determines how successful you are in following social goals. Here again, you need to define and then follow your plan of action. The amount of success you achieve in your social goals will add up in your happiness. It will also determine how the society perceives and respects you. In other words, it means your reputation is reflected by what and how you contribute to the society.
For leading a fuller, complete life you must pursue some hobbies. At least one. It could be music. It could be painting .It could be some sport. It could also be travelling, writing etc. But the important thing is that you have atlaest one hobby on which you able to spend some time. It must not only for name sake.
Last but not the least your spiritual goals are also important. We all know that no one has to stay here forever. Sooner or later we must depart. We don’t know where. This uncertainty needs your spiritual pursuit. Whichever religion you may follow, you must define your spiritual goals. These will eventually define how you are remembered after your departure.

Thank you for your reading.

How to realize your Ultimate Dream? Happiness!

Happiness is your own individual decision

Total freedom to your pursuit of Happiness

Age no bar for Pursuit of Happiness

Everyone in his/her life pursues various objectives and goals with the ultimate objective of achieving happiness. ‘Pursuit of the happiness’, these words initially used by US president Jeffereson Devis. Subsequently they were made popular by Martin Luther king in his famous speech ‘I have a dream’. No doubt, everyone has a right to pursue happiness in whichever way the person likes. However, very often we are so much involved in daily routine that we are carried away by the string of events. In the process, we lose focus on what we are trying to achieve. It will be a good exercise for each one of us to reflect on these words and work out and define what is how you plan to pursue your happiness.
Firstly, we must understand that happiness is not just momentary pleasures of life. I do not say that pleasures of life should not be there. But that these should be only a part of our larger plan, which should addresses some or all of the related features of happiness. The following aspects are of immense importance in an individual’s life.
Your attitude to life. One must have a positive attitude. Life is full of ups and downs. There could be challenges, successes and failures. Positive attitude means just to accept these as a part of life. You become a witness or an observer of what is going. At the same time, use your discretion to take decisions. It’s only then that we understand that we can remain composed and maintain our poise in turbulent times. In fact, it is necessary to maintain our poise even in the happiest time. None of the two situations last forever. Like every night is followed by the day. Every day is followed by night. But in life it may not be in the same order and the durations may also vastly differ.

Importance persistent efforts towards achieving your Goals for Happiness: In order that you pursue happiness, you must define your goals: in all of the following aspects. When we are working towards achievement of our Goals, we feel satisfaction for the efforts made. Besides, persistent efforts are bound to produce desired results. This process of efforts, and achieving encouraging results of our Goals make us happy, Continue doing this and be happy. Happiness is a journey not a destination.

Health goals. Good mental and physical health is extremely important if you want to lead a happy life. Doing what is necessary to keep good health is everyone’s duty. Regular exercise, following proper food routine and maintaining positive attitude can ensure that you are moving towards your health goals from day to day. Yet, it is a continuous process to pursue throughout the life.
Career/ financial goals. If you are successful in your career it expected that you will also do your financial and remain comfortable but you have to fine tune of your objectives and follow the plan as devised.
Your family is undoubtedly equally important and should feature in your pursuit of happiness, according to our own Indian tradition. The importance of finance and family are critical in your pursuit.
Then comes your social goals. What do you want to contribute to the society and what you actually do, determines how successful you are in following social goals. Here again, you need to define and then follow your plan of action. The amount of success you achieve in your social goals will add up in your happiness. It will also determine how the society perceives and respects you. In other words, it means your reputation is reflected by what and how you contribute to the society.
For leading a fuller, complete life you must pursue some hobbies. At least one. It could be music. It could be painting .It could be some sport. It could also be travelling, writing etc. But the important thing is that you have atlaest one hobby on which you able to spend some time. It must not only for name sake.
Last but not the least your spiritual goals are also important. We all know that no one has to stay here forever. Sooner or later we must depart. We don’t know where. This uncertainty needs your spiritual pursuit. Whichever religion you may follow, you must define your spiritual goals. These will eventually define how you are remembered after your departure.

In the end I would like to say that understanding life is so important that its significance must never be undermined. Ups and downs are inextricably intertwined in our day to day life. Acceptance scores our expectations is something we must all remember in our pursuit for happiness.

Thank you for your reading.

Poem of the Day – Time

Time

Often,

Value of time is little known
for time’s inherent wealth,
scanty respect is shown.
Any other possession; if
we lose.
We can try to get it back
if we choose.
Wealth of time
will never return.
Simple lesson, though
often we don’t learn.
For time if lost, is lost forever.
It’s same for the stupid, and the clever.
Yet if asked, how much
you value your time
you may find, you care less.
With invaluable time;
should we ever make a mess?
We regret mistakes
committed in the past.
And for futures’ sake,
worry our tasks.
What about the present?
We seem to forget;
though ‘present’ is the best time, I bet.
Every moment of time you must use
Achieving anything significant that you may choose.

Four Secrets of Happy Living!

Life has many facets: habits, aspirations, goals, significance etc. It is rare that there has been an artist who was also a good householder and a progressive human being. When I say a good householder, I mean one who facilitates the family in all respects. He not only provides for them materially but also emotionally. This is so, typical for a family man. But when we talk of an individual who doesn’t have a family, they too will have to find out their goals; what they want to do in life by controlling or changing their habits. In these circumstances it is difficult to imagine an artist who is totally devoted to his/her passion for art putting similar emphasis/importance on all the other aspects of life, as said above.
Therefore I think we must understand and practice the ‘Secrets of Happy Living’.

The first secret, according to me, would be ‘Self Awareness’. An individual needs to be conscious of his own body, state of mind including thoughts, actions, ideas, feeling and interaction with others. Besides, self awareness has to be a continuous process. It’s only then that you can mould your thoughts, actions and relationship with others. Without doubt, this requires a constant review. The process teaches you how to go about finding solutions to the problems.
The second secret is setting priorities. It is not only fixing the priorities but also scheduling them according to their relative importance. We must remember that when we schedule a task and provide a time slot, it is not necessary that time allocated will always be found sufficient. Time management is another important aspect to be reviewed from time to time. The discipline that you require for constant follow up requires a logical approach. It should have nothing to do with the moods of the person. When a particular task is not finished as per schedule you need to provide the next slot and abide by it. This protocol alone can bring about the desired results.
The third secret is necessary to develop a keen sense of focus. To my mind doing only one thing at a time is the best approach. As far as possible there should be no interruption. Equally important is your total mind and soul into what you are doing. One has to start living in the present, moment to moment. Deliberate effort may be required for some time but then it becomes your habit and you start navigating you life as if you are flying an airplane.
Lastly, the fourth secret is your speech. It is critically important. Because we have to interact with colleagues, family members and the society at large, we must choose our words and use them effectively. Any wrong choice or casual approach towards this very important aspect of human personality can be disastrous. Speech must always be clear; words should be chosen with discretion and spoken effectively. Speech helps to maintain and improve our relations in any environment.

To conclude I would like to say that a successful life in modern times requires us to know and practice these and any other secret that works for us.
Thanks for reading.

Happiness

In general dictionary, there is no proper definition for happiness. One has to find out his own definition which works for himself. In simple words, it is a constant and continuous feeling of joy and contentment. It should not be momentary just like pleasure.
Whatever a person does, he ultimately does to find happiness. It is not a destination, but can be found in the journey of life. It is ones choice to be happy. Whether one has everything or not, it is completely his choice to make himself happy with what he has. It is not a possession to be prised, but the quality of thoughts and state of mind. It is a sort of action. When one is wise, he makes others happy.
Some of the authors and world leaders say that today, the biggest problem in the world is that, we are more interested in making others believe that we are happy than actually trying to be happy by ourselves.
It is just a belief that money and success can buy happiness. But alone they are useless. Your decision to be happy plays the top role. Money, success, your decision, etc. are just few of the constituents of happiness, which are to be placed on their proper positions.
Happiness can’t be bought, but just created, felt, expressed or experienced. If it could have been bought, all would have paid a price for it. The best method to create happiness is to do the things which you love. It contributes a lot. And if that is not possible, then love the things which you do. Choose to be happy in the work you do and it is only possible when you start liking them.
STEPS TO BECOME HAPPY:

Think less
Feel more
Act more
Frown less
Smile more
Laugh more
Talk less
Listen more
Understand better
Judge less
Expect more
Watch less
Do more
Complain less
Appreciate more
Be grateful

Gratitude is extremely important if one wants to be happy. Likewise, the person should not be over emotional but have faith. He should not give up but keep trying. He should not complicate but make things simple. Sometimes, he need not be serious but laugh at the problems. He should be as youthful as a kid. That will make him happy.
One’s happiness should depend on himself and not on other people or things which he may lose. One can never lose himself. Those who desire love, try to find a soul mate. But those who desire happiness, finds themselves, and then their soul mate finds them.
Happiness is never experienced with the amount of problems but the ability to face it. If someone can’t write happiness in others life, then atleast he should try to erase his problems.
BENIFITS OF BEING HAPPY:

It boots motivation. It keeps one inspired and he is always enthusiastic. He loves creativity, have lot of energy, good health and create good vigilance. All this is possible only if he is happy.
It improves productivity in one’s life.
It reduces cardio vascular diseases.
It is said that happy people have a longer life and are tend to attract more people. So they make good friends.

Thanks for reading

Your first duty is to ‘Yourself’

Ability to say no and not to say yes when you want to say no
Being assertive is defined as the ability to stand up for your own rights in a calm and positive way without being aggressive or submissive, accepting the wrong. There are many situations in our life that will want us to stand up for ourselves. Our duty to self should never be compromised for the happiness and satisfaction of others. We have to ensure that there arises no situation where we concede to others and later regret for our act. In today’s time , we would be crushed upon if we don’t stand up for ourselves.
Saying ‘No’ to someone is always considered to be rude behavior especially in our country. We feel that it is our duty to fulfill the requirements of our friends, relatives and any other acquaintances even if we have to forgo our comfort or routine. But this so called generosity and humility is laughed upon nowadays. It is high time we change our perception of helping others before helping ourselves.
When you take more care of others than yourself, you should not be called generous but foolish.

Indian culture and tradition were formed centuries ago when everyone was soft and straight minded. More than anything else, there was a sense of truth and virtue in their behavior. But, today the scenario has changed and people have no more time to ponder about the generosity and kindness we possess. All they care about is to get their work done as quickly and as easily possible. People have no time to appreciate our generosity but they all are ready to step on us and get their things done effortlessly. . So the most intelligent thing to do to survive in today’s world is to step out of the so called good shoes and take care of ourselves before we get into helping others.
One’s first duty is oneself
Love yourself and respect yourself is something that everyone keeps insisting on, but we should realize that it is one of our primary duty to take good care of ourselves. Nothing wrong should happen to us. We should always stand by our necessities and requirements before heading off to favour the people around us. It is not a justifiable act to put others needs before ours and in turn suffer because of it. This is not an act of selfishness but of good sense. We are not denying helping anyone in spite of being able to in a comfortable way but we just place our comfort and happiness first.
Assertiveness trains you how to say “No” diplomatically, without offending anyone.

The core idea of assertiveness is to say no to things you don’t support in a firm yet polite manner. Saying ‘No’ becomes a very tough thing only because it usually comes across as harsh and sharp. We have to learn the art of saying ‘No’ to things diplomatically and in such a manner that the other person feels that you are genuine in saying no. The entire process of opposing other’s views become simple. We should always remember to maintain a calm yet firm tone when we say ‘No’ to others. Thus, they don’t feel offended by it. But they should know that they cannot negotiate further on that issue. Similarly we should openly express the reasons behind our difficulties in helping them out as there is a high possibility that they would understand and the entire process becomes smooth. We offend a person only when we say things bluntly and on a sharp note. If we could just put the same thing in a diplomatic, polite manner and with a friendly touch then things will fall in place automatically.
Generosity should not befool us

There is only a thin line drawn between favoring someone and being fooled by them. We should make sure that we are generous enough for people to be happy about and not go around laughing at us. This is the reason we should always priorities ourselves first and then help others. If we go on helping others without caring about our wellbeing, then we will always be ladder on which others climb on to become successful. We should be in a situation where, we have nothing to lose if we help others and this will lead us to be intelligently generous.
It is essential for us to remember that overloaded generosity may add up in our book of good deeds but it certainly is not the formula for success in today’s highly competitive world.
Thanks for reading.