2 Faces of the same coin – Jealousy

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Jealousy
A soap opera telecasted on a South Korean TV channel called “Jealous Incarnate” depicts that jealousy is a part and parcel of human personality. Yes, jealousy is interconnected with the human emotions, thoughts and feelings and it occurs due to insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection. In short, the resentment against rival success is called jealousy.
Many people fall prey to this negative emotion. A recent study shows that insecurity and inferiority complex is the main aspect behind jealousy. And person who suffers with these feelings tends to have jealousy.
Jealousy has two faces. The first face is that you are jealous of somebody and the second face is that you are getting disturbed just because someone else is jealous of you. In both the cases, analysis of the problem is required. Let’s now witness the opinions stated by certain individuals regarding jealousy.
Quotes on jealousy  
As expressed by some individuals “ Jealousy indicates the lack of self-confidence in oneself”. As it is already stated above “It is a kind of hatred built upon insecurity”. “When you develop a hatred for a person, then they possess something which you are in need of. If a person hates you then you possess something which they are in need of” is a definition given by another set of individuals for jealousy.
There’s another saying which goes like this “Never hate a person who is jealous of you instead respect their jealousy towards you because they are the ones who consider you better than themselves”. But it isn’t quite agreeable that one should respect the jealousy shown on them because out of jealousy the person can execute something that is harmful. Therefore you need to have an eye on your interest.
There was a movie last back in 70’s titled “Blow Hot Blow Cold”. The story isn’t important but the climax matters. The climax was set in an idyllic natural background in which there were 2 couples. One couple was young and the other one was middle aged. The young couple were passionately making love and at that point of time the middle aged man is shown to be extremely jealous. And in the climax the middle aged man kills the young man due to jealousy. Hence, jealousy can go to the extent of committing a crime. Therefore, we cannot afford to forgive or forget the people who are jealous and it is advisable to be cautious about them.
Some people say “I don’t give people a reason to hate me, but they create their own drama out of jealousy”. This is absolutely true. Even though you aren’t in a need to attract the jealousy of the people around you, still there are people jealous of you. There is a low-key comment given by individuals on jealousy “Never flaunt anything. You are giving a reason for others to get jealousy.”
As it is explained above we cannot respect the person who is jealous and we have to be watchful over them. Likewise, it isn’t logical how a person can be unhappy and unsatisfied in their life that they have to illustrate a drama just to get noticed among the crowd. Yes, it’s very true that many people are unhappy in their life and it’s due to various reasons. Consequently, they find out an exhaust. They vent out there bottled-up feelings and suffer from jealousy.
The next set of individuals, are those who were close to you once upon a time have now become just invert strangers. For example, there are two friends. Whereas one becomes rich and feels below his dignity to approach his poor friend and acts like he doesn’t recognize him. And even if they pass on the same ground and face each other, they will pose as though they haven’t met each other in their
lifetime. This is so true and everybody would have come across this situation atlaest once in a lifetime.
Another group of people are the people who are intimidated by you. Hence they start badmouthing about you with an expectation that others don’t find you appealing. Yes, they don’t wish the other people or the common friends, associates or relatives to like you. So, therefore they badmouth you in whatever way possible.
Conclusion
Jealousy is indeed the worst characteristic in any person but the fact is that every human at one point of time experience jealousy. Jealousy may create problems or conflicts for the people on whom they are jealous with. You may not be jealous of others but on the other side you shouldn’t show magnanimity simply to please others so that they don’t create any harm to you. Instead you need to
find your own ways to guard yourself and be cautious.
Jealousy is a disease. If it has infected you, then get well soon!!
Thanks of Reading.

Happiness is not expensive.

Today when there is so much information available on all human emotions and the reasons there of no one has any right or business to be unhappy. Actually there was never a reason for people to be unhappy. Abraham Lincoln said in the early 19th century that ‘most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ However at that time there was no internet, literature was scanty and hardly available. Today, with the internet all the information and the images that one may require to collect about happiness, are easily available.
Vikram a student of 6th standard volunteered to collect the relevant information and the images on ‘how to be happy’. I reproduce the material collected by Vikram in about half an hour. When I went through it, I found that anyone who would spend some time to read the knowledge collected by Vikram and see the pictures again collected by him should be never unhappy.
He informed me that he collected the pictures from Google images. Further he collected the entire written material from Wikipedia. Please spend some time to look at the pictures and also a few minutes on reading the text which he collected from Wikipedia.
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A smiling Rebecca L. Felton
Research has produced many different views on causes of happiness, and on factors that correlate with happiness, but no validated method has been found to substantially improve long-term happiness in a meaningful way for most people.
Sonja Lyubomirsky concludes in her book The How of Happiness that 50 percent of a given human’s happiness level is genetically determined (based on twin studies), 10 percent is affected by life circumstances and situation, and a remaining 40 percent of happiness is subject to self-control.
The results of the 75 year Grant study of Harvard undergraduates show a high correlation of loving relationship, especially with parents, with later life wellbeing
Psychologist Martin Seligman asserts that happiness is not solely derived from external, momentary pleasures, and provides the acronym PERMA to summarize Positive Psychology’s correlational findings: humans seem happiest when they have

  1. Pleasure (tasty food, warm baths, etc.),
  2. Engagement (or flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity),
  3. Relationships (social ties have turned out to be extremely reliable indicator of happiness),
  4. Meaning (a perceived quest or belonging to something bigger), and
  5. Accomplishments (having realized tangible goals
  1. Abraham Harold Maslow, an American professor of psychology, founded humanistic psychology in the 1930s. A visual aid he created to explain his theory, which he called the hierarchy of needs, is a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological, and physical. When a human being ascends the steps of the pyramid, he reaches self-actualization. Beyond the routine of needs fulfillment, Maslow envisioned moments of extraordinary experience, known as peak experiences, profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, during which a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient, and yet a part of the world. This is similar to the flow concept of Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.
  2. Self-determination theory relates intrinsic motivation to three needs: competence, autonomy, and relatedness

HEALTH

  1. Richard Davidson‘s 2012 bestseller The Emotional Life of Your Brain argues that positive emotion and happiness benefit your long-term health. From a study conducted in 2005 by Andrew Steptow and Michael Marmot, findings have found that happiness is clearly related to biological markers that play an important role in health.
  2. At University College London, Steptow and Marmot collected health and well-being data from 116 men and 100 women. All 216 participants were middle-aged, British civil servants between the ages of 45 and 59. The researchers aimed to analyze whether there was any association between well-being and three biological markers: heart rate, cortisol levels, and plasma fibrinogen levels. Interestingly, the participants who rated themselves the least happy had cortisol levels that were 48% higher than those who rated themselves as the most happy. The least happy subjects also had a large plasma fibrinogen response to two stress-inducing tasks: the Stroop test, and tracing a star seen in a mirror image.
  3. In Happy People Live Longer, Frey reports that happy people live 14% longer, increasing longevity 7.5 to 10 years.
  4. Steptow and Marmot furthered their studies by using their participants three years later to repeat the physiological measurements. They found that participants who scored high in positive emotion continued to have lower levels of cortisol and fibrinogen, as well as a lower heart rate.

Despite a large body of positive psychological research into the relationship between happiness and productivity, happiness at work has traditionally been seen as a potential by-product of positive outcomes at work, rather than a pathway to success in business. However a growing number of scholars, including Boehm and Lyubomirsky, argue that it should be viewed as one of the major sources of positive outcomes in the workplace.
Thanks for reading.

William Shakespeare.

Shakespeare was born in April 1564. Some people say he was born on 22nd April others opine 23rd April 1564. He died at the age of 52 years on 23rd April 1660 that means almost 400 years ago.
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How is it that his popularity as a dramatist has not faded out? The reason is his philosophy, the wisdom that we find in his plays and the energizing wit and humor of his comedy.   In fact, these transcend the limits of time and space. He has dealt with human emotions – anger, ambition, jealousy, credulity, indecision etc: these habits are found in the people even today.
In this post I propose to discuss his wisdom as is evident from the 3 pieces I have picked from 3 different plays.

HAMLET

Hamlet 2

Hamlet was a victim of indecision. Indecision was the bane of his life. Unfortunately today also we find many of us suffer from indecision. In the process we undergoavoidable mental agony. I give below the oft quoted words of Hamlet.
To be, or not to be: that is the question: whether’ it’s nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?
In sharp contrast are the following words taken from his play As You Like It.

As You Like It.

Scene from Shakespeare's As You Like It

And this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.
These words, I find, are even more relevant today than were in his own time. ‘Exempt from Public Haunt’- we are in dire need of getting a break and going to the nature from our daily hectic life. And the best place is back to the nature. We have lots of resorts by the sea side, on the scenic mountains, and similar places where we are away from ‘Public Haunt’. As Shakespeare says we can speak to the trees enjoy running brooks/trees and find all the goodness of the world in nature.
Finally I have picked up a very significant point from the tragedy- Macbeth. :

Macbeth

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When our actions do not, our fears do make us traitors.
The philosophy of this word is as true today as at any time. Often we do not want to act as Williams yet due to our fears we are motivated to indulge. In many other plays to I find Shakespeare’s massage to imbibe courage in ones personality, speaks louder than words.
Thank you for reading.