We all want to be happy. Yet, many people in most countries are not happy. A survey of happiness quotient revealed people in these countries are leading stressful life. It is a worthy exercise, therefore, to examine where hides the problem. Which are the gateways of gloom in our lives? I have identified 7 major common causes, which I like to share. Besides, there could be personal reasons but often these common causes pose a major hurdle to happiness. These, 7, are:
- Inability to define the significance of life: It’s necessary to understand one. We have to be self-aware. We must have some goals which we should try to achieve. Understanding one’s duty is critical. Besides, it’s good to have one’s own dream. Unless there is a dream, there won’t be any effort to achieve it. The life’s significance lies in consistently reviewing these aspects. Once we do it, we find that life full of meaning and significance.
- Poor Health: In the competitive world of today, maintaining good health is not easy. Often there is imbalance between work and family life. In turn, it leads to an unwarranted stress. You start worrying. Unhealthy metal stability leads to poor physical health. There could be many other causes like improper food, lack of exercise, eating too much, or too little, inadequate sleep etc. The importance of maintaining good health by making necessary corrections in our habits should not be undermined.
- Negative Attitude: Clinging to the past failures or even happy moments lead to developing a negative attitude. At the same time worrying about the future, instead of planning and acting, contributes to further enhance this malady. Due to small difficulties or challenges, one starts feeling that he/she is not efficient, adding further to the negative attitude. Without doubt, negative attitude of anyone becomes the biggest gateway to gloom.
- Inability to take risks: If you don’t take even a calculated risk your success is hampered. As they say: no risk, no gains. This attitude also leads to cowardice. There is nothing to look forward to and life becomes mundane and dull. If you want to be happy, you have to be nimble and vibrant. Don’t hesitate to take calculated risks. Complacency should have no place in life.
- Comparison is Odious: Many a time one starts comparing one with others. Initially it may lead to envy. But later it becomes jealousy. Other negative emotions like suspicion and losing faith in God and Justice, reckoning oneself as a victim also creep in. Collectively, these become a cause of constant discontentment which in turn leads to unhappiness. It is necessary to keep these negative emotions out of one’s bound.
- Impatience: A man in a hurry (for that matter a woman) invariably feels that they are left behind. Impatience also leads to poor/bad decisions. The results become are annoying. Often times because of impatience we lose opportunities. Realization of the lost opportunity adds to the personal agony. Impatience is more of a habit which is difficult to change, but with consistent efforts, it can be changed. And it should be.
- Low self-esteem: If you don’t love yourself, nobody else will. It’s necessary to consider one as a worthy person capable of putting in desired efforts and bringing about good results. Self-esteem is necessary to generate initiative. This can only bring in creativity. This can only enable you to produce innovation- innovative product or service etc.
As said earlier there could be many other reasons for one’s unhappiness. I have detailed above as per my knowledge and experience. Life is a journey. The journey has to be enjoyed. If you feel that after reaching a destination you will be happy, you are following a mirage. It will never happen.
Thanks for reading.
Life is a continuous interplay of problems and solutions. Every day comes with some kind of problems small, medium or large. It is our job to find a solution and resolve the same with our required action. Not finding a solution or alternative solutions is the biggest problem which needs to be avoided in any case. “It is said that every challenge offers new opportunities. No doubt it does. Then how is it that we are afraid of challenges. Two reasons. Our negative attitude and lack of courage. Then what should we do? How do we change? How should we develop a positive attitude? Certainly there is no quick fix. But the reward of bringing about this change i.e. from negative attitude to cultivating positive one, very well deserves, the efforts that we have to put in. And what are these efforts? How do we go about it? Chisel this change with following measures:
- Look for rose flower not the thorns. No doubt the rose plant is full of thorns. If you are afraid about the thorns you may never reach the rose. So focus only on the rose. Be careful about the thorns and get the rose. Rose is your reward. In fact that’s what you want- the rose. But the plant is full of problems. These are challenges. Don’t be scared about challenges and with careful efforts you will surely secure your results.
- Procrastination is the bane of life. It doesn’t allow you to go ahead and take action. Procrastination pushes you into laziness and a maze of indecisive thinking. It is the worst enemy of positive attitude. So defeat it. Always believe in ‘doing it now!”
- Anyone has the strengths and weaknesses. Rely on your strengths. Leverage these for productive work. Leverage these for overcoming your weaknesses. Identify the weaknesses and do all what it takes to overcome these. It will raise your self-esteem. It will develop your positive attitude.
- Banish these four negative emotions that ruin your efforts to develop a positive attitude. These are: Indecision, Suspicious, Greed and Credulity. Actually each one of these emotions becomes the reason for tragedy of Shakespearean Heroes as under.
- Hamlet was indecisive.
- Othello was an embodiment or suspicious.
- Macbeth moves to the tragic end because of unending Greed.
- King Lear suffered because of credulity. Being credulity leads to people hoodwinking you. This leads to disillusionment & suffering. In turn, it makes you a negative thinker.
- Breed Positive Assumptions about people and about situations. Often times, we do not reach out to people for help because we are afraid of rejection. Never be afraid of rejection. Even if it happens, take it in its stride. Often, you will be surprised that those very people regarding whom you harbored negative assumptions are happy to help you. I read a book which in the preface talked about success- Eleven important principles of success and what are these? Ask, Ask, Ask………..11 times.
- Marry the spouse whom you love. Otherwise start loving earnestly whom you marry. Our likes and dislikes are not writings on the wall. They keep on changing like anything else. So you can start loving your job and you must. It will make your attitude positive.
- Last but not the least. Avoid negative influences. Don’t have company of negative people, don’t read negative literature and don’t watch negative movies. All pleasure seekers end in pain. Those who lure you to undesirable stuff don’t deserve your attention or regard.
Thanks for reading.