Everyone in his/her life pursues various objectives and goals with the ultimate objective of achieving happiness. ‘Pursuit of the happiness’, these words initially used by US president Jeffereson Devis. Subsequently they were made popular by Martin Luther king in his famous speech ‘I have a dream’. No doubt, everyone has a right to pursue happiness in whichever way the person likes. However, very often we are so much involved in daily routine that we are carried away by the string of events. In the process, we lose focus on what we are trying to achieve. It will be a good exercise for each one of us to reflect on these words and work out and define what is how you plan to pursue your happiness. Firstly, we must understand that happiness is not just momentary pleasures of life. I do not say that pleasures of life should not be there. But that these should be only a part of our larger plan, which should addresses some or all of the related features of happiness. The following aspects are of immense importance in an individual’s life. Your attitude to life. One must have a positive attitude. Life is full of ups and downs. There could be challenges, successes and failures. Positive attitude means just to accept these as a part of life. You become a witness or an observer of what is going. At the same time, use your discretion to take decisions. It’s only then that we understand that we can remain composed and maintain our poise in turbulent times. In fact, it is necessary to maintain our poise even in the happiest time. None of the two situations last forever. Like every night is followed by the day. Every day is followed by night. But in life it may not be in the same order and the durations may also vastly differ.
Importance persistent efforts towards achieving your Goals for
Happiness: In order that you pursue happiness, you must define your goals:
in all of the following aspects. When we are working towards achievement of our
Goals, we feel satisfaction for the efforts made. Besides, persistent efforts
are bound to produce desired results. This process of efforts, and achieving
encouraging results of our Goals make us happy, Continue doing this and be
happy. Happiness is a journey not a destination.
goals. Good mental and physical health is extremely important if you want to
lead a happy life. Doing what is necessary to keep good health is everyone’s
duty. Regular exercise, following proper food routine and maintaining positive
attitude can ensure that you are moving towards your health goals from day to
day. Yet, it is a continuous process to pursue throughout the life.
financial goals. If you are successful in your career it expected that you will
also do your financial and remain comfortable but you have to fine tune of your
objectives and follow the plan as devised.
family is undoubtedly equally important and should feature in your pursuit of
happiness, according to our own Indian tradition. The importance of finance and
family are critical in your pursuit.
comes your social goals. What do you want
to contribute to the society and what you actually do, determines how
successful you are in following social goals. Here again, you need to
define and then follow your plan of action. The amount of success you achieve
in your social goals will add up in your happiness. It will also determine how
the society perceives and respects you. In other words, it means your
reputation is reflected by what and how you contribute to the society.
leading a fuller, complete life you must pursue some hobbies. At least one. It
could be music. It could be painting .It could be some sport. It could also be
travelling, writing etc. But the important thing is that you have atlaest one
hobby on which you able to spend some time. It must not only for name sake.
but not the least your spiritual goals are also important. We all know that no
one has to stay here forever. Sooner or later we must depart. We don’t know
where. This uncertainty needs your spiritual pursuit. Whichever religion you
may follow, you must define your spiritual goals. These will eventually define
how you are remembered after your departure.
In the end I would like to say that
understanding life is so important that its significance must never be
undermined. Ups and downs are inextricably intertwined in our day to day life.
Acceptance scores our expectations is something we must all remember in our pursuit
When you meet an individual, the first few things you observe are:
How does he/she look? How is the posture? The facial expression? The clothes? How the clothes are carried by the person? Is he/she overdressed? Or underdressed? Befitting the occasion? Or not?
All the above attributes are important to create the first impression. Though this is not the last impression as some people may believe. Yet it’s very important. So be discrete in choice of fit, colors, fall, finish and all these characteristics which contribute to make you look good.
More important than these is, your posture. Posture is indicative of your health as well as your confidence. How you sit is as important as how you stand and vice versa.
The facial expression on your face need to match your posture. This expression tells a lot on what is going on in your mind. On an average an individual receives fifty thousand thoughts in one day. It is necessary for the individual to control their number and keep the number as low as possible. The lesser the number the more focused a person becomes. And this shows on your facial expression. A smile is the best companion which will not allow the turbulence of your mind to show on your face. Besides, smile helps reduce the worries.
And then it is your body language! What is body language? How you walk? How you hold your head over your shoulders? How do you place your lips? These are all important features of body language? The art and science of image management concerns more on dress, choice of colors, how the dress is fashioned etc.
It’s an art to be mastered: the strategic use of body language for best results.
Adopt a relaxed, upright posture. This will speak of your genial confidence. If you have sagging and slumping shoulders, these will suggest that you are tired and bored of life. In public life such a posture is suicidal.
Further, where you find your place to sit is also important. Do you select a place where you avoid the eyes of others? Or do you prefer a prominent place where you are sure to be noticed?
In this age of social media and networking, developing and maintain a positive body language is critical. What you say is important but how you say it often more important. A recent survey revealed that 65% of communication depends on your gestures, expression and body language. This is an area where not only attention is needed but also a consistent desire to hone the skills. It should be matched with adequate real time practice. That alone will help you to bring in the required change in the body language that you portray.
Good health is needed to enable you to be in control. Physical health will make your good posture easy to maintain. Good mental health will take care of your facial expression. Mature effective voice requires both physical and mental health should be in good shape. This then, is another reason that you must be health conscious and consistently maintain good health.
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Lack of Confidence
First of fall we need to understand the reason for lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is due to a fear of one kind or another (mostly unfounded). As an American wrote, “my life was full of misfortunes which never happened”.
Of course, one need not be reckless. Yet, harboring fear never helps. We need to think rationally and pen down what makes us afraid and why. This process helps remove some of the fear and begins the path of building confidence.
A famous Management Guru one said that there are four ‘C’s which form the foundation of an individual’s growth and a Company’s progress. These four virtues are – Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Consistency. The most important of these happen to be Confidence. If absence of confidence the other virtues will simply disappear.
It is said that “they conquer who believe they can”. Self-belief is thus the second important factor in building up confidence. Confidence emerging out of self-belief is necessary for any significant achievement. New opportunities always carry some incidence of chance. For taking any initiative you must be prepared to take calculated risk. In fact not taking any risk is the biggest risk of life.
Further, Confidence enables you to trust yourself. And if you don’t trust yourself, nobody else will. No one will feel secure in placing any responsibility on you. That will be the dead end. There is no further growth. Lost Opportunities
Often we do not see opportunities because we are not interested. On the face of it, lack of desire acts as a strong handicap in our progress and growth. But, Confidence trains our mind to desire what the situation demands. It makes us alert enough to recognize and seize emerging opportunities. With desire created by confidence we look ahead, strive hard and succeed. Confidence breeds courage
For taking risk of any kind one needs to have courage. If we have confidence; we will be able to rise up to the demands of the situation. So we must go ahead and take calculated risk. Courage enables us to move ahead! Yet, if there is no confidence it will be very difficult to harness courage. Smile
Most people lack self-confidence. You can help them! Smile. Your smile will reassure them. You will be doing a great job helping them to gain confidence. This is particularly true when somebody is meeting a new group of people. We must also remember that the more we are helping others to gain confidence, the more we enhance our own self-confidence! We help ourselves too!!!
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Out of the 8 personality problems or 8 Enemies of Happiness in the personality, Anger is most damaging. Anger is an emotional response related to one’s psychological interpretation of having been threatened. At times the response could be volatile. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. The ability to take right decision is impaired. Unabated continuous anger can cause he decks, migraines, chest pains etc. over a long period anger results in high blood pressure, depression and heart related diseases.
So we all agree that anger must be avoided to remain fit n fine. But how do we do that. I am listening below some suggestions which I do not claim can totally eradicate your anger, but they are helpful. If practiced with a positive attitude and consistently they can defiantly mitigate anger and control minds of very short tempered people. The suggestions are as follows.
1. The first step is to control your speech. Anger is an emotion which will be difficult to handle but speech is something which is comparatively easier to control. Once you practice control of your speech you will also be practicing how to maintain a positive body language also. With the speech and body language under control you will be able to handle even difficult people efficiently. This will result in reduction of the occasions for you to lose your temper.
2. Smile is a very simple antidote to anger. So therefore keep a smiling face.
3. Meditation is also helpful.
4. Yogic exercises everyday will cool down your temperament.
5. When you are angry go to a quiet place- a sea shore or a garden and have a quiet walk.
6. Start listening to soft music that you like.
Finally ask yourself: why do I get angry? Is it helping in any way? Am I achieving any objective whatever it may be?
You will find the answer to all the above questions is simple ‘No’. Therefore you must decide ‘Not to get angry at all’. Keep on repeating these questions and decision every day until you find that your temper is cooling down.
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