Courage to Continue Denotes Success

The word success as defined in the dictionary means “ the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” . True as it is but definition of the word success changes from person to person. Every individual’s definition of success is different. And why Not? We all have different aims, objectives, goals and purpose of life. And accomplishment of those would mean SUCCESS
to each one of us. Though there is no common definition of success many successful people have presented their views on success. Let us now understand what success meant to them and how best we can add to our success from their experiences.A writer, statesman and a leader as he was Winston Churchill who has contributed immensely to the Britain’s victory in World War II has quoted that
“Success is not final, Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts”. Isn’t it true? Many people think that if you fail at something , it is the end of your life. The suicidal stories you hear after the academic results are declared clearly indicate people’s
attitude towards failure. The quote mentioned above re instills the value of courage to continue the effort in spite of several failures. In short, perseverance is one of the keys to success.
When one wants to achieve something one should turn deaf ears to what people say about your endeavors . Because as the quote goes,” At first they will ask why you are doing it ;But later they will ask How did you do it?
Yes, this is especially important for the people who are torch bearers. Torch bearers are people who attempt to tread the less taken path and are the first ones to do so. When you are pursuing something different and novel, skeptic people always try to ask the validity of such pursuit. Well, if you are convinced about your effort and are ready to give in your hundred percent you will be successful at it. And then the same people would ask you the ways in which you tried to achieve such an untapped feat.
Life is a mix of good and bad times. We are successful sometimes and sometimes we do fail. The most important thing in life is to “Be thankful for hard times as they have made you.” Hard times are testing times. Failures should be visualized as a lesson. I t is rightly said,” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”! Every struggle to get successful will make you wiser and stronger.
While achieving success it is important that you put your heart , mind and soul into excelling at what you have undertaken. If needed you have to sacrifice a lot in order to achieve something great. 

Swami Sivananda has rightly pinpointed the secret of success. He
quotes ,” Put your heart , soul and mind into even your smallest acts”. 

It is also very evident that there is no shortcut to success. It is well known that there is “No elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” Hard work in proper direction definitely yields success. ease everybody.

Success is a result of focus, hard work, learning from failure , loyalty and persistence .

Indeed when you strives to excel at certain thing you are bound to be successful. When you balance your hard work with persistence and loyalty the end result will be none other than SUCCESS.
Nelson Mandela quotes” Don’t judge me by success but how many times I fell down and got back again”.If you have persevering attitude in life, nothing can stop you from being successful. Perseverancefffffff is a factor which differentiates between success and failure.
Success is , thus, relative to each individual. Unfortunately, many people don’t have goals at any time in life. Life is very short and the most important thing in life to be successful is to set some goals. What is a life without goals? People misconstrue goals to be only related to career and finances.
Well, negating that opinion you can categorize goals as:

  1. Career goals,
  2. Financial goals,
  3. Health goals,
  4. Family goals and
  5. Goals for society
  6. Hobby Goals
  7. And Spiritual Goals

You have to take charge and set goals for yourself. The priority of goals would differ from person to person. You may feel family and health goals are more important than the rest of the goals. An ambitious person may prioritize on career and financial goals. Hobby goals are the goals which are meant for yourself satisfaction. Society plays an important role in everyone’s life. You should also set some goals which will benefit the society. It is a way to give back to the society where you belong.


Maslow’s pyramid of self motivation has the self actualization need at the top of it! Spiritual goals help achieve that need of a person.
While setting up goals make sure that your goals are SMART.
SMART Goals mean

S- Specific
M-Measurable
A-Achievable
R-Realistic
T-Time bound
Well, to achieve success be specific about what you want to achieve. The goals should have some yardstick against which you can measure your success. You should always have realistic goals and not unbelievable ones.
An example of setting a goal could be “ I want to reduce my weight by 1.5 kgs in a matter of 15 days. Once you do that you can start working over it by chalking out a plan and then executing the same.
Always check on what you have achieved against what you wanted to achieve And keep on bridging the gap, if any. When diligently persevered, success becomes a habit!!


Thanks for reading.

Why Self-Belief is of Critical Importance?

Eight Big Benefits of Belief

In life it is necessary to have some beliefs. That does not mean that you need to follow any dogma or belief forced on you.

Believe in yourself. You can pick your own beliefs with discretion. First, let us understand what is self-belief. What are the qualities that it inherits? Self belief is an invaluable virtue which brings great possibilities in your life. Its indications are that you:

Some of the benefits of believing in yourself are:
i) Stop making any excuses for any reason what-so-ever.
ii) Do not indulge in any negative thought.
iii) Stop thinking that difficulties surround you alone. You do not jump to conclusion and take hasty actions. You express your fears to others without any hesitation, because you keep in mind that everyone has some fears.
iv) You stop procrastinating because that is indicative of your lack of confidence.
v) Stop pursing perfection. Perfection is never achieved. It only stops you from moving ahead.

You have to motivate yourself for self- belief once you develop self belief and you observe that you conform to all what has been said above, you will find the following eight advantages coming to you smoothly and seamlessly.

1) Self-belief enables you to hold strong conviction. All things do not happen the way you have planned or the way you expect. But strong conviction will help you to move ahead without fear of failure. Conviction in a leader is an incredibly valuable yet increasingly rare trait. It’s in short supply because our brains are wired to overreact to uncertainty with fear. As uncertainty increases, the brain shifts control over to the limbic system, the place where emotions, such as anxiety and panic, are generated.

2) Self belief also helps you develop optimistic attitude. which is necessary today in the wake of fast changing world. Life is becoming extremely competitive. Any opportunity missed once may never come back again. But if you have a negative attitude you will not be able to catch the fleeting possibilities. So it is necessary to rely on your self confidence .Importance of self-confidence should never be undermined.

3) Your self-belief also makes you more reliable to others. Thus you tend to build up better relations with others. This is another benefit of self-confidence at your workplace. Your credibility is not question. Since people can trust you they vie for good relations with you. Needless to say that for any significant project you need help from others. Self-belief necessitates that you’re willing to change course and change opinions. It requires you to listen to others and take their view point into account without feeling attacked.

4) Self-belief also helps you to be focused and self motivated. You no longer take life as it comes. You don’t depend on unknown sources to bring you luck. You carve your own destiny. Self motivation helps you to maintain enthusiasm and interest in life. A motivated person tends to ask more questions and devote more time to discovering the answers. If you are the kind of person who actively pursues your personal interests, you’ll find it easier to naturally acquire the skills and knowledge you need to design a life that’s more in alignment with your goals and dreams.

5) Your risk taking ability improves if you believe yourself. It is said that there are no gains if there are no risks. Your conviction helps you to take calculated risks in meeting the challenges of life. The tendency to avoid and escape facing challenging situation reduces substantially. You start realizing that difficulties form a necessary part of life. Your self confidence is very important for your success in every field.

6) Further, self-belief enables you to give and receive constructive criticism with an open mind. In the current scenario exchange of ideas and views are extremely important. The autocratic leader is not acceptable any more. So if you want to progress you have to collaborate with others from your own organization or outside outfits. Although both forms are challenging your ideas, character or ability, when someone is giving destructive criticism it can hurt your pride and have negative effects on your self-esteem and confidence.

7) Self-belief helps you to be more assertive. You start caring for yourself more than pleasing others. Someone said that he doesn’t know any formula of how to succeed. The sure short formula for success has never been discovered. But there is a firm unbeatable formula for failure and that is trying to please everyone. Your self-belief will not allow you to embark on the journey of securing approvals where these are not mandatory.

8) last but not the least, you start working on improving yourself respect. You realize that if you do not respect yourself, others will follow suit. When you’re in need to raise self esteem, you become more effective and you become more productive. Now, you start managing your time very effectively as any improper or inadequate use of your time will hurt your self-esteem. People with good self-esteem generally feel positive about themselves, and about life and good self-esteem contributes towards your well- being and happiness.

Thanks for reading.


7 Steps of Innovation

A gentleman was walking through an elephant camp, and he spotted that the elephants weren’t being kept in cages or held by the use of chains.

All that was holding them back from escaping the camp, was a small piece of rope tied to one of their legs.

As the man gazed upon the elephants, he was completely confused as to why the elephants didn’t just use their strength to break the rope and escape the camp. They could easily have done so, but instead, they didn’t try to at all.

Curious and wanting to know the answer, he asked a trainer nearby why the elephants were just standing there and never tried to escape.

The trainer replied;

“When they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The only reason that the elephants weren’t breaking free and escaping from the camp was that over time they adopted the belief that it just wasn’t possible. The elephant can’t think out of the box. There is no innovative quality bestowed. The elephant likewise if a person does not innovate or think different than what he/she has been used to they are not innovative.

While creativity is thinking out of the box, innovation is putting into action a creative plan. For innovating a product or service we must consider the following:

  • What is required or desired by the users? It means that innovative products or services must meet defined or undefined needs of the consumers.
  • What is possible with the existing technology? One has to keep in mind the available technology innovation can ride or ameliorate on, so as to make the innovation more achievable. Moreover, one really need not re-invent the wheel.
  • What is viable in the market place? It is necessary to find out the viability of the innovative product or service which has been conceived before starting work on it. Truth be told, viability is critical to prevent wasteful efforts.

Simply said, innovation is change that unlocks new value.
The Following are the 7 steps that held, produce innovation smoothly.

  1. In order to ascertain desirability to the users we must start with the concept crisis: If trying to upgrade a product/service one may ask the customers who its current users are. Observing the product in use and reviewing the difficulties and complaints faced by the current consumer will give a clearer picture of the desired modification or innovation.
  2. After identifying what needs to be done a detailed plan including the target result has to be laid out. One should run brain storm sessions, and if a corporation, the company’s whole brain should be used. It is a myth that innovation is the brainchild of a single genius; rather it is the result of collaborative effort.
  3. The organization needs to examine the related current patents before undertaking innovation. One should not find out later on, that somebody else already holds a patent for the innovation conceived and worked upon.
  4. Failures are a part of creating anything new. Failures should not deter the process of innovation. It’s necessary to persistently follow the plan. Often results take longer than expected. Persistence is crucial.
  5. During the process of creating an innovative product or service the organization should consistently review i)what new additions can be made ii) what new ways can be adopted that could change the design or the processes.
  6. A friendly environment should be created and a keen sense of curiosity needs to be encouraged. At every stage the output reached is reflected upon. The process of innovation can be made smooth only with an in depth contemplation and an environment that promotes creative thinking.
  7. Innovation is best achieved when a creative idea is selected & the leader is totally committed to that new idea. Passion produces results. The leader must also have good business sense and a broad understanding of how things feel inside or outside the company. The requirement is that of strategic thinking or of a ‘helicopter sense’- a talent for rising above the smaller details to be able to see the big picture. Such a leader is able to create a cohesive and driven team which is in turn is fully dedicated to the project. The plan must be prepared in a collaborative fashion. The team members should also contribute in making the plan. Team work needs to be ensured.

      Thanks for reading.

Faking or Pretending: Good, Bad & Ugly

Everyone at some point must have come across pretending. What’s pretending?? Pretending is behaving to be who we want people to think we are. While pretending, we hide our original personality and stage the artificial person in front of people to please or impress them. Below are the facts on pretending which can help you know more about the dos and don’ts of pretending.

Actions speak 

Actions express somebody’s personality. Yes, it’s true and words often show who the person pretends to be. Don’t believe in somebody’s words, try to analyze and see through their actions because actions and conduct tell the truth which words don’t. Therefore, if you want to find out if someone is pretending read their actions closely and carefully that will show if the person is for real or reel.
Pretending can be Good. It can be Bad. But it can also be Ugly. Let’s examine some situations to know about it.


Good
Pretending isn’t all about negativity

Pretending doesn’t always possess negativity it also owns certain positive aspects. For example, pretending to be happy when you’re in pain is just an example of how strong you’re as a person. There’s also a moral from this example. Never show your pain because not many people will share your pain, instead they will celebrate for your pain.


Smile instead of sympathizing

Sometimes the best solution is to smile and move on with your day. That sympathizing feeling on your face isn’t going to help you. Hold back your tears and pretend that everything is well and good because others will feel happy seeing you smiling and cheerful and there may be opposite reactions to be ready for it.

Bad

Not accepting your mistakes

One of the biggest flaws committed by many is pretending to be blind to their own mistakes. Never ignore your mistakes at the same time never try to overlook your mistakes too. Stop pretending like you’re an angel everybody commit mistakes and therefore never underestimate your capabilities just because you have committed a mistake. On the other side don’t pretend to be deaf towards others mistakes because that will lead you into greater losses.


Don’t lose your real personality

Be careful who you pretend to be because in the process of pretending you might lose your own identity. It’s never ever good to forget who you are and isn’t appreciable too. Always recollect where you are, what you are because only these things will boost your self-awareness which would take you places. If you pretend to be somebody else and not yourself, finally it’s going to take you nowhere.


Don’t accept things as they appear

Many people pretend to like you. At times even you might have joined the crowd for a good cause or for a bad cause. As people pretend to like you, all of a sudden you will start pouring out all your joy and care for those people who aren’t worthy of. Actually, doing so shows your foolishness because such kind of people doesn’t deserve your care and concern.


Ugly
Here are some situations when pretending turns ugly. There could be many more.

  1. A vehicle has hit someone who is bleeding on the good, you pan by pretending you have not
  2. A woman is being beaten by a man, you see if and pretend you haven’t and more on.
  3. A friend who is serious needs financial help from you, but you pretend you do not have money.

Some suggestions

  • Express your originality : Stop pretending for a while and express how you really feel towards someone. It can be a positive or a negative feeling but express it with utmost honesty. However, after the revelation observe how the relationship continues to sail.
  • Avoid pretending unless when ‘Good’ : Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, and speak without offending. There’s lots of wisdom in this quote. Live your own life with joy, don’t pretend or fake yourself to impress others. Love without any expectation, listen with peace, understand and then analyze. Use your tongue with caution because that’s the most dangerous weapon in the world that can pierce and hurt a person more than a bullet. Hence, stop offending others with your words.
  • Live your life : Finally, live yourself and set your own identity. Yes, you need that skill to find out people who are pretending to be your beloveds but getting them erased of your life wouldn’t make a greater difference. Instead invest your time in finding the real people who understand and are really impressed with your originality.       Pretending isn’t an issue when not practiced always!!
  • Never carry forward situations : Life is a handful of short stories pretending to be a novel. Yes, all situations are detached. When the situation takes place the matter comes to an end, it isn’t supposed to be carried forward and never get stuck to the situation. If it had left a lesson behind take the lesson and move forward.

Thanks for reading. 

Why Ego is the hidden enemy which create serious Handicaps?

Ego’s Eight Obstacles that need to be removed.

Ego is often confused with self respect or confidence. In fact it shouldn’t be. Ego is the worst enemy of the individual’s success. There are many ways in which ego creates handicaps. I am listing below eight of these, the prominent ones.


1. Inability to think objectively.

False ego does not allow you to think objectively. In the world today interaction with others at every stage is critical. In case you are not able to think objectively, invariably, you end up in creating unnecessary differences. When the people argue vehemently and take it personally, ego is the hidden culprit. People are naturally biased, says leadership consultant Brandon Smith, whose professional moniker, “The Workplace Therapist,” reflects his expertise in clinical counseling. 

2. Ego doesn’t allow you to reach out to people for help.

A person suffering from ego often hesitates to reach out to people. Our progress depends on how well others support us. Any handicap or inability to collaborate with others and seek their help becomes an obstacle. The fact that you might not be aware of is that hesitation happens when an unconscious conflict develops!! This means that hesitation is caused by the development of two opposite goals even if one of them was not apparent to you.

Sometimes an unconscious goal can take control over your decisions even if you were not aware of it.


3. You become judgemental and away people around.

A person who is dominated by his/her ego considers ‘own’ opinions as the best. It leads to a tendency of passing judgments even on subjects unknown. The worst comes when you passed judgments on others, their personality, appearance or conduct etc.  judgmental has to do with being overly critical in an unhelpful way, and it is this separate meaning that allows us to get to the heart of the issue. It is when we make judgments in ways that have harmful or negative consequences that we are being judgmental in ways that are best to avoid. 

4. Ego doesn’t allow you to listen to people to understand you listen to them only to reply.

Ego does not allow the person to be a good listener. They start speaking more to impose their presence. As they are judgmental, they are no longer to open others’ say. In, turn it makes them confined to themselves. If you don’t listen to others, it’s not possible to understand them. In such a situation it’s difficult to hold a constructive dialogue.


5. Ego doesn’t allow you to gel with the group. Ego sets you to think ‘I don’t care’. You tend to strongly hold on to your own perception about you. This does not enable you to gel well with others. People avoid your company and you become secluded. A secluded person develops a negative attitude.

6. You start using arrogant language.

Language is the only means of our communication with others, of sharing our thoughts, of learning from others’ experiences. But the egoist in his/her effort to dominate forgets the importance of using appropriate language. Others feel upset though, at times, they may not show it. But they brew ill feelings in their mind.


7. Ego doesn’t permit you to develop good relation with others.

The business today requires not only a good proposal but also ability to build relations. In fact, many companies including banks employ relationship managers. Their job is not sales but just to introduce the organization to the prospective clients. Ego will always come in as a big obstacle in building relations. This is true not only in business but also in social and family environment. Relationships give us several other benefits: our work is more enjoyable when we have good relationships with those around us. Also, people are more likely to go along with changes that we want to implement, and we’re more innovative and creative.


8. You are unable to negotiate under a cordial atmosphere.

A good negotiator prepares him/her well before going to negotiating table. They visualize all possibilities. On one side they prepare their arguments on the other they have to consider the possible arguments of the opposite party. Even if the person prepares very well so far as strategy is concern, ego will not allow having a smooth sailing during negotiations. There can be no successful negotiation in such a case.

Thanks for reading.

How to improve your personality for success and happiness?

5 Steps to understand and build up a better personality.

Personality comprises understanding self, fixing one’s goals, physical and mental health and various other facets of the person as seen by himself/herself and as seen by others. Indeed, understanding personality is not easy. But it is extremely important. It is important for your success. More importantly it helps you to achieve happiness. The study of personality can be said to have its origins in the fundamental idea that people are distinguished by their characteristic individual patterns of behavior—the distinctive ways in which they walk, talk, furnish their living quarters, or express their urges. Whatever the behavior, personologists—as those who systematically study personality are called—examine how people differ in the ways they express themselves and attempt to determine the causes of these differences.

First, understand yourself.

Each one of us must sit down and contemplate about life’s significance. It’s a kind of vision statement which one must clarify to himself/herself. The act of contemplation on significance will always help you to adopt and maintain a proper prospective. Before researching possible career moves it is useful to spend time understanding yourself, including your capabilities, expertise and personal values. Being self-aware can help you to plan development and make career decisions that are right for you.

Write down your specific goals.

By and large everyone has wishes. But these are not specific desires. Wishes become desire only when you specify your goals. Wishes do not allowed you to focus and take actions needed for achievements. These wishes often times remain wishes. Further unrealized wishes erode self esteem. It is imperative therefore to write down clearly on your goals. Goals would state the time frame goals should also clarify how you plan to achieve. Its only when you make a practical plan that you can pursue your goals.

Physical and Mental Health both are equally important.

First on the list of your goals should be good health. One can achieve physically good health by taking care of food, exercise and sleep. Human body is made to last for about 100 years. So we need to use all the faculties with discretion. We must not over use, under-use, but strike a good balance and keep on becoming more effective. Mental health is even more important. It refers to your thoughts, your behavior and your attitude towards others. It also refers to your attitude towards life. A clear distinction is often made between ‘mind’ and ‘body’. Poor physical health can lead to an increased risk of developing mental health problems.

Good Communication Skills are Critical for your better relations at the workplace and at home.

We all communicate right from the time we are able to speak. In fact babies start communicating immediately after birth. As we grow the social considerations keep on shaping our communication skills. Besides the influence of people around, parents, teachers, friends and others we meet also create an impact. We can develop and maintain good communication skills only with regular review of our ability regarding communications. Good communication skills can aid in helping you land an interview and pass the selection process. Being able to articulate well provides a significant advantage! To do your job effectively, you have to discuss problems, request information, interact with others, and have good human relations skills – these are all part of having good communication skills.

Application of Mind at all times ensures that you remain on track.

Application of mind enables you to analyze any situation. It enables you to review your performance even in challenges. In fact, human sufferings impart great life’s lessons one should be willing to learn these lessons. Knowledge acquired through reading books, attending training programs and interacting others play an important role. One should never be judgmental. However it’s necessary to apply mind and to form opinions about anything that concerns us. This process helps us to become more decisive to pursue our goals. Present day world whatever we see and enjoy are nothing but result of application of mind. Application of mind is more important than knowledge. 

Thanks for reading.

How to be a good listener, to be popular, and to be respected?

Loved breeds happiness. And when you make others happy, you are loved. There is a close bond between love and happiness. So, how does listening help you in being loved and being happy? This is the subject of our discussion in this essay. The feeling that you are being loved brings you satisfaction. It enhances your self esteem and results in happiness. When others care for you, you feel important and when they listen to you, you feel significant and elated which adds to your happiness. Same is true when you listen to them.

Let’s deal with the subject by considering the following 3 questions:

What is good listening?
How does it help you to being loved?
How does it help you to be happy?


Question 1. What is good listening?


i) Ask question only to ensure understanding.

It requires you to put your agenda aside and totally devote to understanding and assimilating what is being said. You don’t listen to give a reply, but you just listen to understand. The moment you become keen to give a reply, your mind will start analyzing the speech from your own perspective. It will hinder your ‘objective’ understanding. You should, add comments, seek clarifications or ask question only after listening, understand and assimilating what is said.


ii) You should always be self-aware and live in present.

There should be no thoughts about the past nor should you think about future, when conversing with someone.

iii) Body language is important post of communication.

You need also to understand the body language of the speaker. And, this would include eye contact, posture, facial expression etc.

iv) Listening needs to be non-judgmental.

You must not allow your likes and dislikes or personal prejudice to affect the meaning the speakers wants to project.


v)  Listening is more important than speaking.

To be listened is so important for the people that many a times they will like to be heard rather than just granted the request what they requested.


vi) Learn the process of active listening.

Active listening calls for you to listen about 80% of the time without interruption balance 20% of the time you may ask questions. This will indeed be an attribute of good listening.

vii) Assumptions misguide and sometimes these are dangerous!

You need to make it known to the speaker that you are attentively listening. Thus, your nods with your head and words like ‘Yes’hmm ‘I see, I agree go long way to make be you an adept active listener.


viii) Relaxed mind is more receptive.

You will indeed enjoy your choice of active listening with the results that you will derive from the activity.


Question 2. How does active listening help you to being loved?
Now we can consider how listening actively makes others happy and make you in turn happy. They not only respect you but they love you if you actively listen to what they say.

Try to reflect what the speaker is feeling be at the same plane.

The speaker feels that he/she are important when you carefully listen to them. They are reassured that you care for them. In turn they will care for you. The speaker thinks that they have some worthy ideas that is being expressed. And if you don’t listen to them with due attention, they will feel let down. But if on the other hand you not only listen but make it known that you have listened, the speaker will feel elated and happy and so will you be.

Respect is always mutual, you have to earn respect. You have to make others happy to receive positive vibes making you happy in return.
Besides, better listening rids you of any bitter discussion. You understand that these are futile. Avoiding arguing, you also avoid bitterness which often is the result of trying to win an agreement. Active listening empowers you to hold your opinion without any offence. Because of your listening skills you are in a position to offer you opinion in a relevant manner. When your conversation with everyone becomes more meaningful, both of you enjoy it. Undoubtedly it brings happiness. 

Exchange of ideas in such a situation brings about a lot of learning on both sides. Continuous learning raises your self –esteem which in turn makes you satisfied with yourself and be contented.

In fact, even between the spouses the problem starts with one not listening to other. One feels ignored and the problem starts. Left unattended, it grows into unmanageable differences. If we are unhappy at home or at the work, place life is messed up.

Children too turn rebellious because they feel that parents don’t try to understand them. In the fast changing world today maintaining good relations is more challenging than ever. Yet good relationship is emanating from better understanding which forms the foundation of respect and love.
So if you want to be loved by others listen to them and make them feel that they are loved. If you want to gain happiness distribute the same among others who will gladly reciprocate.

Question 3. How does Good Listening help you to be Happy?


Every living being has physiological needs and safety needs. Living being must have food to live and is keen to care for life. That part is survival story. No happiness is involved. But, after survival needs are fulfilled, psychological needs come to the fore for human beings.
As social entities, humans want to have a feeling of belonging. It’s an experience that they belong to a community, a family or a group gives them a feeling of satisfaction. If they are alone and uncared their psychological craving of togetherness disturbs them.
Good listening helps you to have cordial relations with your family and friends. When you listen to them they come closer to you, they experience that you are giving them importance. By listening you reassure them of their significance. Inwardly they feel obliged to you as you are fulfilling their psychological need of heart to heart communication.
As we discussed earlier ability to express your ideas give a great satisfaction. However, you approve of your ability only if the listeners pay attention, understand and when possible and needed, take action. Likewise when you are actively listening, the speaker feels comfortable and satisfied with his skill of expression. In turn the process fosters better relation and love for each other. This is particularly important among the family members and close friends.

Besides, when you speak, you say what you already know. No doubt it satisfies your need for expression, but you don’t learn anything new. But listening gives you the opportunity to learn what you don’t know. Learning gives a great satisfaction and enhances your self esteem. When your self esteem is high you wish to do greater things. Self-esteem enables you to venture on the new turf, start new project. Maslow’s theory of happiness is recognized as the last word in respect of this great wishful emotion-happiness.
“There is a clear distinction between love and respect or esteem. The ability to feel self-esteem springs from being embraced by families and communities”. Further, you become more creative which again contributes to your confidence.
Good listening also helps you to mitigate your personal ego. Because when you are full of ego, you tend to behave as if you know all and therefore you shun listening, much less active listening.

Actualization makes you really happy. And what is actualization? Maslow defines actualization as “what a man can be, he must be. This need may be referred to the desire for self-fulfillment. So discovery of self, understanding the capabilities and then doing what it takes to actualize yourself will grant the best results. But this cannot take place unless you are a good listener.

Further, survey reveals that you tend to perceive situations, people and their reality more accurately if you are good listeners.
With all the advantages described above there remains no doubt that listening and its resultant process will make you one, who understands the world and the people better. This understanding will make you happier, more than your expectations.

Thanks for reading.

How to Change Your Attitude?

Changing attitude is your choice but this choice is critical, because it controls your life.

1. What is Attitude?

Attitude is your response to a situation, circumstance, person or an object.  But the detailed definition of attitude would be; a predisposition or tendency to respond positively or negatively to a situation, circumstance, person, idea or an object. It influences a person’s choice of action and response to challenges, incentives, rewards etc. These are called stimuli. Stimuli are challenges, incentives and rewards. Four major components of attitude are –

  1. Emotions and feelings
  2. Cognitive – belief or opinions held consciously
  3. Inclination for action , spontaneity
  4. Evaluative – positive or negative response to the stimuli

The first 3 components influence or determine the 4th component.
The importance of Attitude can hardly be exaggerated
It controls our lives. This is why it is extremely important. We must also understand the difference between positive and negative attitude. It is important to know what these both can do for us.

2. Importance of Positive Attitude.
Positive attitude brings strength, energy, motivation and initiative.
Person with a positive attitude will ask “How something can be done?”, rather than saying, “It is very difficult. We don’t know whether it can be done or not.”
It gives you power over your circumstances rather than your circumstances having power over you. That’s the power of positive attitude; it gives YOU the power. You control circumstances, rather than circumstances affecting you or your behavior.
It is also an understanding of the fact that nothing can change until you change. Therefore, everything changes once you change. You have to identify what are your habits, what are the things that are holding you back. And you have to overcome those, and to overcome those, you have to change.

3. You can train your mind for The Attitude you choose.
It is necessary to train your mind to see good in everything. To see something positive, so that it encourages you to go ahead in whatever you are trying to do. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. Let’s make it positive.
It will be a good idea, to decide and say it to yourself every morning that you will face everything that comes to you today with a positive attitude. All things about you are important and you should give importance to all those things. Only when you are careful about everything around you, others will give you the respect you deserve.
While positive attitude will help you in every aspect of life, negative mind will never give you a positive life. It will create only negativity. Further, negative thoughts create negative situations.

4. Negative attitude is disastrous.
A bad attitude leads you nowhere. You cannot go very far until you change it. Therefore, if you identify that your attitude needs some enhancement, do it sooner than later. A person with negative attitude sees difficulty in every opportunity. Whereas a positive thinker, sees an opportunity in every difficulty. This is a big difference. How can you change? You have to figure it out for yourself. Because it depends on your habits.
Positive thoughts are good, but they are not enough. They have to be followed with positive feelings and positive actions. Actions are most important. Without actions you cannot have the benefits of positive attitude. Attitude has to be supplemented and supported by respective actions.
The only disability in life is bad attitude. There is no reason why you should live with a disability which is under your control. There are some difficulties we have to live with. But it’s not so with your attitude. Your attitude is something you can change and the best thing is to change it. Whenever you feel pain in your life, think about its full form –
P – Positive
A – Attitude
I – In
N – Negative situation

5. Believe in yourself for positivity.
If you have a tendency to self-doubt it keeps giving more negative energy to feed on. That means you are actually attracting negativity. One American in his grey years said “my life has been full of misfortunes which never took place”.
Another man had said, “I don’t have time to hate people who hate me, because I am too busy loving people who love me”.


Thanks for reading.

Silence is the loudest cry. It might takes you to the end of the road.

Don’t ignore anyone and don’t ever ignore being ignored.

Many a times we face situations when we are being ignored by people for whom we care. Likewise, it may happen the other way round. Let’s look at the various possibilities of you ignoring someone or being ignored. There could be many possibilities and different situations. Sometimes, it is not bad, while most of the times ignoring or being ignored badly hurts. In any case, it’s necessary not to ignore such situations. We must contemplate, analyze and then take necessary action. Some of the circumstances are as below.

You ignore someone without reason.

  1. Someone ignores you – you don’t know the reason.
  2. Someone ignores you – you don’t know the reason.
  3. When ignoring is the best way to handle problematic situation?                                                                                        It requires lot of thought and application of mind which people tend to avoid.
  4. Problems between husband and wife.                                          Far too many and also far too little! When ignore these became giants of problem.                                                                      

Bullies at the work place or in society.                                                   Bullies abound in all environments .You want to avoid them but they don’t let you do that.

  • Silence can be a person’s loudest cry. You know you have really hurt someone when they start ignoring you. It is worse than saying anything bad to you and is even worse than rebuking you. In other words, the feeling of being ignored is extremely disturbing.
  • When you are ignoring someone continuously, you are teaching him/her to live without you which is bad as you are creating a gap between yourself and the person whom you are ignoring, this may never be filled.
  • If anybody is ignored, it is very difficult for him/her to compromise with that idea. They will always wish that they could ignore the fact that they are being ignored.
  • A person may get a feeling of rather being said that they don’t like him/her instead of being ignored. Thus, one must never ignore anybody as it is very damaging and a worse feeling for the person who is being ignored.
  • Sometimes you ignore people not because you are mad at them but it may mean that they are not really important and worth your time. This is totally another way of thinking and worth resorting to at times. If you want to break a relationship, you start ignoring a person by all means which is needed depending on person to person and the situation.
  • You must let go those people who are ignoring you and your presence because you are not worth their time. But when someone is continuously ignoring you, it is better to forget about him/her.
  • Some people hurt you by words, some by their actions and some people hurt you by being silent. One gets hurt the maximum when someone ignores him/her even after they value that person the most. If you care for somebody and that person ignores you, is the worse feeling and one gets hurt the maximum due to this and is unable to tolerate the fact of being ignored.
  • When a person is ignored, he/she will start thinking that he wish he could ignore the person in return. Yet it may be very difficult.
  • Ignoring the signs is a good way to end up at the wrong destination. This means that if someone shows you the signs of being ignored by him/her, you should be prepared that you are in for a surprise and for something which you probably never wanted. Thus, it is said that ignoring the signs is a best way to end up at the wrong destination. If you ignore the milestones, it is not going to help you as you don’t know where you are going or heading to.
  • One example which comes to mind is totally different. Robert Browning saying in one of his poems highlights optimism. It goes “Take back the hope you gave, I claim, only a memory of the same”. Thus, you can ignore someone but can never change the memories that person brought into your life.
  • If someone is ignoring you, the best thing to do it to end the relationship and not to disturb them again .If you continue to approach that person and if he/she continues to ignore you then you should never go back to them as you are ultimately hurting yourself which should be realized as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading.

Your success in life depends on your perspective!

8 Crucial steps to develop a proper perspective.

Life is lived through your perspective, your perspective of life. Perspective for an artist or an architect is how the object looks in relation to other objects around. Likewise, ‘Perspective of Life’ is relative to what we see around and what we have to deal with in our normal day to day life.

1. Never Undermine Perspective. It is said that never underestimate the power of perspective. It can change everything. Your attitude depends on your perspective of life. You may believe that there are too many ups and downs or you may view the same as the process of growth. The findings show that people with Asperser’s are able to predict lower scores from family members, despite disagreeing with their view, and that family members often over-estimate the extent to which their relatives with Asperser’s syndrome are egocentrically anchored in their own perspective.

2. Your Perspective Guides. you about the relative importance of things. Thus, your priorities will depend on your perspective. One must keep in mind that in the environment of constant change, one may has to revisit one’s perspective often. Perspective depicts the visual effect in which objects get smaller as they get further away. It can produce an impression of depth in a drawing. Perspective helps represent flat objects as three-dimensional.

3. Time is a resource which has been equally distributed to all human beings. The moment you realize the importance of time it will reflect on your perspective and accordingly you start dealing with people and situations differently. People are a nation’s greatest resource. Nature’s bounty becomes significant only when people find it useful. It is people with their demands and abilities that turn them into ‘resources’. Hence, human resource is the ultimate resource. Healthy, educated and motivated people develop resources as per their requirements.

4. An interesting example of perspective may be attributed to the people who are very short. They have always to look up. At the same time the person who is proud and vain will tend to look down on others. So the person who is grounded will see the reality much better and will succeed in building up good relationship with the people at work place in society and at home. The proud will not.

5. ‘We cannot change the cards we are dealt, but how we play our cards is in our hand’. Thus the life may be looked as a game of cards in which our ability and our choice to choose the right path are both very important. Many a times if you are too much concerned about something, your worry about the same may lead you to wrong decisions. Within the greater game of life we are dealt many hands. Each round we are dealt again a hand. That means that life and living are non-deterministic. So the hand you are dealt has less to do with your happiness and even future success than we are tempted to think it does.

6. Never try to give any explanations to people who do not want to understand you. People only hear what they want to hear and the best examples that you may give to such people is only waste of your time. Therefore don’t do that. The “nevers” of course aren’t ironclad and don’t apply to every situation, and even when they should apply, they can be hard to follow through on! But understanding when, where, and why to apply this maxim is truly a great help in becoming a more autonomous and assertive man.

7. An important point to maintain your right perspective is that you should never compare yourself with any other person. Comparison is odious and should always be shunned. If someone has a tunnel vision, we try to offer a different perspective that has a more complete view. Sometimes, two perspectives may be completely opposite – but each is yet completely valid in different ways, much like the views from opposite sides of a room.

8. It’s necessary not to worry because worry does not solve any problems of today or even tomorrow. But it surely takes away your peace, today. Actually, solving problems is the significance of life. So, it’s necessary to re-training your mind to process life as it is. Problems are perceived because you find that things are not happening the way you want them to happen. Peace cannot be forced to stay with you but it can be achieved by proper understanding and with proper perspective.

Thanks for reading.

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