What are the habits which we need to develop, to improve Personal Productivity?

8 Habits of Highly Effective People.

What is habit and its power?

Introduction of good habits in your daily life is the first step to improve productivity.
Habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated frequently, and tends to occur unconsciously. Bad habits intrude your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals.  Breaking any habit can be difficult. For instance, if a person smokes regularly, it becomes his habit and even if he wants to quit, it becomes difficult for him to give-up.
Psychologist and philosopher William James proclaimed that the entire life is nothing but a series of habits that we form repeatedly. The power of habit has been explained by various authors, world leaders and motivational speakers.  One of the famous Authors, Stephen R. Covey, wrote a book titled “The 7 Habits of successful People” describing an approach to being effective in realizing your goals.
One can create excellence in big things, by developing good habits even in small matters. Keeping the desk clean, using mobile with discretion, removing the clutter from your mind, etc. All these can be practiced again and again easily. When you instill these habits into your life, you create the foundation for achieving your goals.
Here are 8 Habits of highly productive people that you may adopt to get the best out of you!!

1.Form a habit to ruthlessly cut away the unimportant

That’s right. Try to focus only on the important things, and cut away everything that’s unimportant. There is no point doing something that is not needed for the desired results. So push yourself to quit wasting time, and bring yourself back to the production mode. Ensure that you do it everyday to experience the power of good habits.

2.Allocate breaks strategically

Productivity declines over time without taking brakes. Take many small breaks during the day. The rule of thumb would be to take a 5 to 10 minutes break every 2 hours of work. Breaks are a highly effective way to boosting your productivity. Importance of good habits needs to be experienced by putting them into practice.

3.Importance of habit information.

It’s necessary to understand your habits.  Things that limit your productivity must be thrown out.  It can be the loud music you listen to when you work, your phone calls, alerts from your inbox, your slow computer, the internet, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. These things trap you and prevent you from getting things done.

4.Advantages of good habits need to be counted .That will inspire you.

No matter what field you’re in, your inspiration is the key to your output. So, channel your inner muse. Keep on thinking and contemplating the things that motivates you. And definitely you will find that your focus increases thereby up surging your productivity.

5.How to practice good habits?

You may have defined good habits that you want to develop. But how to do that and more importantly how to practice these good habits on daily basis needs your   urgent and consistent attention .Don’t make yourself too accessible. If you’re too accessible, then you will face a lot of interruptions. Nowadays, people can connect with others very easily- with the touch of button (text, emails, calls, etc.). Therefore, guard your time to improve your productivity.

6.Optimize time pockets

Make the best of every minute. For instance, if you’re working for 10 minutes, ensure that you achieve maximum outcomes in those 10 minutes and then you can take time off.  You usually get time pockets while waiting for people, commuting, chess app, reading books, or planning.

7.Set time limit for all your project.

Unless you do a thing in time, it may loose its significance all together .Delay is most damaging. Be clear on what you want to achieve, and then set your timelines for them. When you set timelines, you commit to yourself to complete the work on time, hence, paving the way for the reality to manifest.

8.Automate everything possible

Technology today has made automation possible for a lot of things we do.  Hence, find a way to automate every task and let it be your habit. If you outsource, delegate. Delegation and automation wherever possible will enhance your productivity.
By no means, this is a complete list. But as you focus on improving productivity by adopting good habits you will be inspired to adopt more such habits which are particularly useful to you.


Thanks for reading.

12 facts about Stress which everyone must know!

1. What is stress response?

Stress definition needs to be understand

Stress is not about what happens to us it’s our response towards it. But responding towards the happenings is solely our choice because happenings cannot be chosen. In simple terms, the adverse reaction of people to the excessive pressure or the types of demands placed on them is called stress.

2.  What is stress disorder?   

Clutter is one such thing that causes stress undoubtedly. Clutter is been described as one of the main barriers of productivity. Avoiding the clutter depends on us. If we have an ability to control clutter, it would automatically get cleansed of. So, under any circumstances never let clutter overrule oneself. Go a mile extra to see there is no clutter in your staple, wardrobe, house, mind or people around you. Follow the simple rule that “there should be place for everything and everything should be in place”.

3.  What causes stress? And, what are types of stress?

 Sometimes people cause stress

The people in your life must be a source of reducing your stress levels not causing it. Never stress yourself with people who don’t deserve to be an issue in your life. Therefore identify the people causing stress in your life and as much as possible avoid their company.

4.  Work causes stress work stress symptoms need to be identified.

Work related stress is an international problem. Long hours of work cause stress in a person. According to the international stress management association, 70% of adults are stressed at work which translates into the loss of 13 million working days every year to stress caused in UK government.                                 Inability to discover real nature                                                              The major stress causing element is the inability of people to discover their real nature. Hence, discover your gifts and follow them you will never feel stressed at any phase of life.

5. Situations cause stress
We panic and find ourselves stressed during certain situations. Blowing something out of proportions or giving it sinister qualities that the situation doesn’t possess, anticipating the situation that is never likely to occur and not giving enough informative response about something or vice-versa causes stress.

6. Excessive pressure

The excessive pressure or the types of demands placed on oneself causes stress. Any imbalance towards the demands that exceed the level of one’s ability causes stress.   

Symptoms of stress       
How do we recognize that we are under stress? You can find how stressed you are with certain physical signs, physical symptoms, mental or emotional behavior, negative thoughts etc. Have a look at the below given major symptoms of stress.

7. What is stress and anxiety symptom?

One of the symptoms of stress is approaching nervous, breakdown and the belief that one’s work is terribly important. Yes, things are important but our life and health are the two most important treasure of a human being. Therefore, give importance, focus upon and give your best.

8. Act of violence
Act of violence includes beating up your beloveds, extreme anger, harming people without any cause and lots more.

9. Post-traumatic stress disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder accounts for the symptoms of ADHD. This disorder causes the kids to suffer from inattentiveness, anxiety, depression and learning disorders.

10. What can stress do to your body?

Our everyday worries differ from those of our ancestors. Even simple traffic jams, financial problems and other simple problems can trigger the stress levels in one’s body. In scientific terms, the response to the responsibility of body to two difficult situations or challenging situations is called stress.
Major disturbance takes place in different parts of the body due to stress namely brain, mouth, muscles, blood circulation, lungs, stomach, bladder, eyes, digestive contractions, skin, etc. many experience excessive sweating or dry mouth.
For example, when we are caught into a threat our bodies release a variety of chemical messengers and the hormones such as adrenaline, non-adrenaline and cortisol. These chemical messengers act rapidly and oxygen is pumped faster into our bodies.
Due to this, our brains and muscles receive an extreme supply of blood diverted from other areas. This physical reaction taking place internally boosts the thinking process that serves our insistence on whether to fight, or to divert or to run away from the threat.

11. The effects of stress
One must have a close watch on the changes and happening taking place in oneself. Recognizing the early warnings or signs of stress can help oneself get out of stress at the first stage. Below there are early warnings/effects of stress:

● Over reacting

●Impulsive behavior

●Inability to concentrate

●Irritability

●Short temper

12. How to overcome stress? 
“Is stress going to help me? If not why am I stressed?” Sit back and rethink about this question. Stress has the power to ruin your relationship with family, beloveds, friends, etc. Being in stress causes depression and worries.
We can change stress of its repetition. Adopting the right attitude can convert your negative stress into a positive phase. Stress is defined as the gap between expectation and reality. More the gap, more the stress. Hence, expect nothing accept everything.
An antidote for stress is self-expression. Express your individuality. Discover your real nature. Discover your gifts and follow them you will never feel stressed at any phase of life. Never let your power packed personality die at any circumstances.
“Today I refuse to stress myself about anything. I desire to live my life without stress and without worries. I don’t desire to be world famous. I just want to be happy.” Live your life with this simple thought and you will have a stress-free life thereafter. Being in stress or otherwise is a self-made choice!!


Thanks for reading.

7 Habits of highly Effective Conversationalists

‘How to be a better conversationalist?’ is a question that hovers in the mind of all socially aware people of the civilised society.

Besides, an interesting conversation is a very important business etiquette. The skills of effective face to face conversation enable you to build better relations at the workplace and in society. We converse day in and day out. So we must try to think back how often we are very interesting and how often we are not. There are certain rules which we need to keep in mind to develop our good business conversation habits. These are as follows:

1. Be present: When you are conversing with someone for fun or for business negotiation, you should be totally with him or her. A good conversationalist must be an active listener. You need to listen to understand and not to reply back. When you do that you will be more engaging in the conversation. You should not think about anything else; not about any past events nor any similar situations. You should only be listening to the person you are speaking to. While listening, you should be assimilating the information not to reply but to understand. In simple words first understand then only try to be understood.

2. No advice unless you are asked, please: Your conversation should not be just to vent out your opinions or to display that you know everything about the things that you are discussing.
It also does not mean that you should not participate in the conversation. You may hold a different opinion and also express the same decently in an inoffensive manner. Always keep in mind than an effective conversationalist need to be flexible, but, you should be. That can happen only if you listen and understand the other person properly and never interrupt anyone when he or she is speaking.

3. Ask open ended questions using what, how, where, when etc. If these are suitable to the person & situation when they answer these questions, they will be able to speak out in detail what they have in mind. They will be able to throw more light on the subject of conversation which will add to your knowledge and pat their ego. Don’t just ask questions for which the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’. That will not show that you are a good conversationalists.

4. Go with the flow and make the conversation a fun: You must first listen to the person talking and if at all you have to say something different from the current topic wait until the subject changes. Maintain a good sense of humour.
Besides, you need never be waiting for speaking out as soon as the speaker completes the sentence. In such an instance your mind will be only concerned with what you are going to speak. In the process you will not listen and you will not understand what the person just spoke.

5. If you don’t know, say it: You should never behave like “I know everything” even when you know much. One never knows all. Thus, if you are asked something and you don’t know simply say “I am sorry, I don’t know!” There is nothing wrong in that. In fact, I have never met anyone who knows everything. But I must admit that there could be people who show off as it they everything.

6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs: Now, if someone is sharing with you an experience and you also had a similar experience earlier, hold that back. Let the speaker enjoy telling/sharing his/her experience and then briefly only if necessary just in agreement you can say that yes this is true because you also experienced the same.
You should never rob him/her from sharing that interesting experience with you. A good conversationalist has a good sence of humour and makes the conversation enjoyable for everyone.

7. Don’t repeat yourself: Repetition in a conversation is extremely unwelcome. People will get bored and they will definitely think that it is not worth talking to you because you keep on repeating yourself. And many people do the same. Therefore try to think, observe and ensure that you never repeat the same thing over and over again.

Thus, one must listen, be more open and while speaking, should be brief. Verbosity kills the efficacy of the idea. Always use simple language and short sentences. Short sentences means one can vary the sentences between four words to twenty words. If you are using a sentence containing 20 words, you must pause in the middle just like you give commas in a written speech and not speak in one go. Develop a sense of humour to keep the conversation light.

Thanks for reading.

Courage to Continue Denotes Success

The word success as defined in the dictionary means “ the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” . True as it is but definition of the word success changes from person to person. Every individual’s definition of success is different. And why Not? We all have different aims, objectives, goals and purpose of life. And accomplishment of those would mean SUCCESS
to each one of us. Though there is no common definition of success many successful people have presented their views on success. Let us now understand what success meant to them and how best we can add to our success from their experiences.A writer, statesman and a leader as he was Winston Churchill who has contributed immensely to the Britain’s victory in World War II has quoted that
“Success is not final, Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts”. Isn’t it true? Many people think that if you fail at something , it is the end of your life. The suicidal stories you hear after the academic results are declared clearly indicate people’s
attitude towards failure. The quote mentioned above re instills the value of courage to continue the effort in spite of several failures. In short, perseverance is one of the keys to success.
When one wants to achieve something one should turn deaf ears to what people say about your endeavors . Because as the quote goes,” At first they will ask why you are doing it ;But later they will ask How did you do it?
Yes, this is especially important for the people who are torch bearers. Torch bearers are people who attempt to tread the less taken path and are the first ones to do so. When you are pursuing something different and novel, skeptic people always try to ask the validity of such pursuit. Well, if you are convinced about your effort and are ready to give in your hundred percent you will be successful at it. And then the same people would ask you the ways in which you tried to achieve such an untapped feat.
Life is a mix of good and bad times. We are successful sometimes and sometimes we do fail. The most important thing in life is to “Be thankful for hard times as they have made you.” Hard times are testing times. Failures should be visualized as a lesson. I t is rightly said,” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”! Every struggle to get successful will make you wiser and stronger.
While achieving success it is important that you put your heart , mind and soul into excelling at what you have undertaken. If needed you have to sacrifice a lot in order to achieve something great. 

Swami Sivananda has rightly pinpointed the secret of success. He
quotes ,” Put your heart , soul and mind into even your smallest acts”. 

It is also very evident that there is no shortcut to success. It is well known that there is “No elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” Hard work in proper direction definitely yields success. ease everybody.

Success is a result of focus, hard work, learning from failure , loyalty and persistence .

Indeed when you strives to excel at certain thing you are bound to be successful. When you balance your hard work with persistence and loyalty the end result will be none other than SUCCESS.
Nelson Mandela quotes” Don’t judge me by success but how many times I fell down and got back again”.If you have persevering attitude in life, nothing can stop you from being successful. Perseverancefffffff is a factor which differentiates between success and failure.
Success is , thus, relative to each individual. Unfortunately, many people don’t have goals at any time in life. Life is very short and the most important thing in life to be successful is to set some goals. What is a life without goals? People misconstrue goals to be only related to career and finances.
Well, negating that opinion you can categorize goals as:

  1. Career goals,
  2. Financial goals,
  3. Health goals,
  4. Family goals and
  5. Goals for society
  6. Hobby Goals
  7. And Spiritual Goals

You have to take charge and set goals for yourself. The priority of goals would differ from person to person. You may feel family and health goals are more important than the rest of the goals. An ambitious person may prioritize on career and financial goals. Hobby goals are the goals which are meant for yourself satisfaction. Society plays an important role in everyone’s life. You should also set some goals which will benefit the society. It is a way to give back to the society where you belong.


Maslow’s pyramid of self motivation has the self actualization need at the top of it! Spiritual goals help achieve that need of a person.
While setting up goals make sure that your goals are SMART.
SMART Goals mean

S- Specific
M-Measurable
A-Achievable
R-Realistic
T-Time bound
Well, to achieve success be specific about what you want to achieve. The goals should have some yardstick against which you can measure your success. You should always have realistic goals and not unbelievable ones.
An example of setting a goal could be “ I want to reduce my weight by 1.5 kgs in a matter of 15 days. Once you do that you can start working over it by chalking out a plan and then executing the same.
Always check on what you have achieved against what you wanted to achieve And keep on bridging the gap, if any. When diligently persevered, success becomes a habit!!


Thanks for reading.

Why Self-Belief is of Critical Importance?

Eight Big Benefits of Belief

In life it is necessary to have some beliefs. That does not mean that you need to follow any dogma or belief forced on you.

Believe in yourself. You can pick your own beliefs with discretion. First, let us understand what is self-belief. What are the qualities that it inherits? Self belief is an invaluable virtue which brings great possibilities in your life. Its indications are that you:

Some of the benefits of believing in yourself are:
i) Stop making any excuses for any reason what-so-ever.
ii) Do not indulge in any negative thought.
iii) Stop thinking that difficulties surround you alone. You do not jump to conclusion and take hasty actions. You express your fears to others without any hesitation, because you keep in mind that everyone has some fears.
iv) You stop procrastinating because that is indicative of your lack of confidence.
v) Stop pursing perfection. Perfection is never achieved. It only stops you from moving ahead.

You have to motivate yourself for self- belief once you develop self belief and you observe that you conform to all what has been said above, you will find the following eight advantages coming to you smoothly and seamlessly.

1) Self-belief enables you to hold strong conviction. All things do not happen the way you have planned or the way you expect. But strong conviction will help you to move ahead without fear of failure. Conviction in a leader is an incredibly valuable yet increasingly rare trait. It’s in short supply because our brains are wired to overreact to uncertainty with fear. As uncertainty increases, the brain shifts control over to the limbic system, the place where emotions, such as anxiety and panic, are generated.

2) Self belief also helps you develop optimistic attitude. which is necessary today in the wake of fast changing world. Life is becoming extremely competitive. Any opportunity missed once may never come back again. But if you have a negative attitude you will not be able to catch the fleeting possibilities. So it is necessary to rely on your self confidence .Importance of self-confidence should never be undermined.

3) Your self-belief also makes you more reliable to others. Thus you tend to build up better relations with others. This is another benefit of self-confidence at your workplace. Your credibility is not question. Since people can trust you they vie for good relations with you. Needless to say that for any significant project you need help from others. Self-belief necessitates that you’re willing to change course and change opinions. It requires you to listen to others and take their view point into account without feeling attacked.

4) Self-belief also helps you to be focused and self motivated. You no longer take life as it comes. You don’t depend on unknown sources to bring you luck. You carve your own destiny. Self motivation helps you to maintain enthusiasm and interest in life. A motivated person tends to ask more questions and devote more time to discovering the answers. If you are the kind of person who actively pursues your personal interests, you’ll find it easier to naturally acquire the skills and knowledge you need to design a life that’s more in alignment with your goals and dreams.

5) Your risk taking ability improves if you believe yourself. It is said that there are no gains if there are no risks. Your conviction helps you to take calculated risks in meeting the challenges of life. The tendency to avoid and escape facing challenging situation reduces substantially. You start realizing that difficulties form a necessary part of life. Your self confidence is very important for your success in every field.

6) Further, self-belief enables you to give and receive constructive criticism with an open mind. In the current scenario exchange of ideas and views are extremely important. The autocratic leader is not acceptable any more. So if you want to progress you have to collaborate with others from your own organization or outside outfits. Although both forms are challenging your ideas, character or ability, when someone is giving destructive criticism it can hurt your pride and have negative effects on your self-esteem and confidence.

7) Self-belief helps you to be more assertive. You start caring for yourself more than pleasing others. Someone said that he doesn’t know any formula of how to succeed. The sure short formula for success has never been discovered. But there is a firm unbeatable formula for failure and that is trying to please everyone. Your self-belief will not allow you to embark on the journey of securing approvals where these are not mandatory.

8) last but not the least, you start working on improving yourself respect. You realize that if you do not respect yourself, others will follow suit. When you’re in need to raise self esteem, you become more effective and you become more productive. Now, you start managing your time very effectively as any improper or inadequate use of your time will hurt your self-esteem. People with good self-esteem generally feel positive about themselves, and about life and good self-esteem contributes towards your well- being and happiness.

Thanks for reading.


7 Steps of Innovation

A gentleman was walking through an elephant camp, and he spotted that the elephants weren’t being kept in cages or held by the use of chains.

All that was holding them back from escaping the camp, was a small piece of rope tied to one of their legs.

As the man gazed upon the elephants, he was completely confused as to why the elephants didn’t just use their strength to break the rope and escape the camp. They could easily have done so, but instead, they didn’t try to at all.

Curious and wanting to know the answer, he asked a trainer nearby why the elephants were just standing there and never tried to escape.

The trainer replied;

“When they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The only reason that the elephants weren’t breaking free and escaping from the camp was that over time they adopted the belief that it just wasn’t possible. The elephant can’t think out of the box. There is no innovative quality bestowed. The elephant likewise if a person does not innovate or think different than what he/she has been used to they are not innovative.

While creativity is thinking out of the box, innovation is putting into action a creative plan. For innovating a product or service we must consider the following:

  • What is required or desired by the users? It means that innovative products or services must meet defined or undefined needs of the consumers.
  • What is possible with the existing technology? One has to keep in mind the available technology innovation can ride or ameliorate on, so as to make the innovation more achievable. Moreover, one really need not re-invent the wheel.
  • What is viable in the market place? It is necessary to find out the viability of the innovative product or service which has been conceived before starting work on it. Truth be told, viability is critical to prevent wasteful efforts.

Simply said, innovation is change that unlocks new value.
The Following are the 7 steps that held, produce innovation smoothly.

  1. In order to ascertain desirability to the users we must start with the concept crisis: If trying to upgrade a product/service one may ask the customers who its current users are. Observing the product in use and reviewing the difficulties and complaints faced by the current consumer will give a clearer picture of the desired modification or innovation.
  2. After identifying what needs to be done a detailed plan including the target result has to be laid out. One should run brain storm sessions, and if a corporation, the company’s whole brain should be used. It is a myth that innovation is the brainchild of a single genius; rather it is the result of collaborative effort.
  3. The organization needs to examine the related current patents before undertaking innovation. One should not find out later on, that somebody else already holds a patent for the innovation conceived and worked upon.
  4. Failures are a part of creating anything new. Failures should not deter the process of innovation. It’s necessary to persistently follow the plan. Often results take longer than expected. Persistence is crucial.
  5. During the process of creating an innovative product or service the organization should consistently review i)what new additions can be made ii) what new ways can be adopted that could change the design or the processes.
  6. A friendly environment should be created and a keen sense of curiosity needs to be encouraged. At every stage the output reached is reflected upon. The process of innovation can be made smooth only with an in depth contemplation and an environment that promotes creative thinking.
  7. Innovation is best achieved when a creative idea is selected & the leader is totally committed to that new idea. Passion produces results. The leader must also have good business sense and a broad understanding of how things feel inside or outside the company. The requirement is that of strategic thinking or of a ‘helicopter sense’- a talent for rising above the smaller details to be able to see the big picture. Such a leader is able to create a cohesive and driven team which is in turn is fully dedicated to the project. The plan must be prepared in a collaborative fashion. The team members should also contribute in making the plan. Team work needs to be ensured.

      Thanks for reading.

Faking or Pretending: Good, Bad & Ugly

Everyone at some point must have come across pretending. What’s pretending?? Pretending is behaving to be who we want people to think we are. While pretending, we hide our original personality and stage the artificial person in front of people to please or impress them. Below are the facts on pretending which can help you know more about the dos and don’ts of pretending.

Actions speak 

Actions express somebody’s personality. Yes, it’s true and words often show who the person pretends to be. Don’t believe in somebody’s words, try to analyze and see through their actions because actions and conduct tell the truth which words don’t. Therefore, if you want to find out if someone is pretending read their actions closely and carefully that will show if the person is for real or reel.
Pretending can be Good. It can be Bad. But it can also be Ugly. Let’s examine some situations to know about it.


Good
Pretending isn’t all about negativity

Pretending doesn’t always possess negativity it also owns certain positive aspects. For example, pretending to be happy when you’re in pain is just an example of how strong you’re as a person. There’s also a moral from this example. Never show your pain because not many people will share your pain, instead they will celebrate for your pain.


Smile instead of sympathizing

Sometimes the best solution is to smile and move on with your day. That sympathizing feeling on your face isn’t going to help you. Hold back your tears and pretend that everything is well and good because others will feel happy seeing you smiling and cheerful and there may be opposite reactions to be ready for it.

Bad

Not accepting your mistakes

One of the biggest flaws committed by many is pretending to be blind to their own mistakes. Never ignore your mistakes at the same time never try to overlook your mistakes too. Stop pretending like you’re an angel everybody commit mistakes and therefore never underestimate your capabilities just because you have committed a mistake. On the other side don’t pretend to be deaf towards others mistakes because that will lead you into greater losses.


Don’t lose your real personality

Be careful who you pretend to be because in the process of pretending you might lose your own identity. It’s never ever good to forget who you are and isn’t appreciable too. Always recollect where you are, what you are because only these things will boost your self-awareness which would take you places. If you pretend to be somebody else and not yourself, finally it’s going to take you nowhere.


Don’t accept things as they appear

Many people pretend to like you. At times even you might have joined the crowd for a good cause or for a bad cause. As people pretend to like you, all of a sudden you will start pouring out all your joy and care for those people who aren’t worthy of. Actually, doing so shows your foolishness because such kind of people doesn’t deserve your care and concern.


Ugly
Here are some situations when pretending turns ugly. There could be many more.

  1. A vehicle has hit someone who is bleeding on the good, you pan by pretending you have not
  2. A woman is being beaten by a man, you see if and pretend you haven’t and more on.
  3. A friend who is serious needs financial help from you, but you pretend you do not have money.

Some suggestions

  • Express your originality : Stop pretending for a while and express how you really feel towards someone. It can be a positive or a negative feeling but express it with utmost honesty. However, after the revelation observe how the relationship continues to sail.
  • Avoid pretending unless when ‘Good’ : Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, and speak without offending. There’s lots of wisdom in this quote. Live your own life with joy, don’t pretend or fake yourself to impress others. Love without any expectation, listen with peace, understand and then analyze. Use your tongue with caution because that’s the most dangerous weapon in the world that can pierce and hurt a person more than a bullet. Hence, stop offending others with your words.
  • Live your life : Finally, live yourself and set your own identity. Yes, you need that skill to find out people who are pretending to be your beloveds but getting them erased of your life wouldn’t make a greater difference. Instead invest your time in finding the real people who understand and are really impressed with your originality.       Pretending isn’t an issue when not practiced always!!
  • Never carry forward situations : Life is a handful of short stories pretending to be a novel. Yes, all situations are detached. When the situation takes place the matter comes to an end, it isn’t supposed to be carried forward and never get stuck to the situation. If it had left a lesson behind take the lesson and move forward.

Thanks for reading. 

Why Ego is the hidden enemy which create serious Handicaps?

Ego’s Eight Obstacles that need to be removed.

Ego is often confused with self respect or confidence. In fact it shouldn’t be. Ego is the worst enemy of the individual’s success. There are many ways in which ego creates handicaps. I am listing below eight of these, the prominent ones.


1. Inability to think objectively.

False ego does not allow you to think objectively. In the world today interaction with others at every stage is critical. In case you are not able to think objectively, invariably, you end up in creating unnecessary differences. When the people argue vehemently and take it personally, ego is the hidden culprit. People are naturally biased, says leadership consultant Brandon Smith, whose professional moniker, “The Workplace Therapist,” reflects his expertise in clinical counseling. 

2. Ego doesn’t allow you to reach out to people for help.

A person suffering from ego often hesitates to reach out to people. Our progress depends on how well others support us. Any handicap or inability to collaborate with others and seek their help becomes an obstacle. The fact that you might not be aware of is that hesitation happens when an unconscious conflict develops!! This means that hesitation is caused by the development of two opposite goals even if one of them was not apparent to you.

Sometimes an unconscious goal can take control over your decisions even if you were not aware of it.


3. You become judgemental and away people around.

A person who is dominated by his/her ego considers ‘own’ opinions as the best. It leads to a tendency of passing judgments even on subjects unknown. The worst comes when you passed judgments on others, their personality, appearance or conduct etc.  judgmental has to do with being overly critical in an unhelpful way, and it is this separate meaning that allows us to get to the heart of the issue. It is when we make judgments in ways that have harmful or negative consequences that we are being judgmental in ways that are best to avoid. 

4. Ego doesn’t allow you to listen to people to understand you listen to them only to reply.

Ego does not allow the person to be a good listener. They start speaking more to impose their presence. As they are judgmental, they are no longer to open others’ say. In, turn it makes them confined to themselves. If you don’t listen to others, it’s not possible to understand them. In such a situation it’s difficult to hold a constructive dialogue.


5. Ego doesn’t allow you to gel with the group. Ego sets you to think ‘I don’t care’. You tend to strongly hold on to your own perception about you. This does not enable you to gel well with others. People avoid your company and you become secluded. A secluded person develops a negative attitude.

6. You start using arrogant language.

Language is the only means of our communication with others, of sharing our thoughts, of learning from others’ experiences. But the egoist in his/her effort to dominate forgets the importance of using appropriate language. Others feel upset though, at times, they may not show it. But they brew ill feelings in their mind.


7. Ego doesn’t permit you to develop good relation with others.

The business today requires not only a good proposal but also ability to build relations. In fact, many companies including banks employ relationship managers. Their job is not sales but just to introduce the organization to the prospective clients. Ego will always come in as a big obstacle in building relations. This is true not only in business but also in social and family environment. Relationships give us several other benefits: our work is more enjoyable when we have good relationships with those around us. Also, people are more likely to go along with changes that we want to implement, and we’re more innovative and creative.


8. You are unable to negotiate under a cordial atmosphere.

A good negotiator prepares him/her well before going to negotiating table. They visualize all possibilities. On one side they prepare their arguments on the other they have to consider the possible arguments of the opposite party. Even if the person prepares very well so far as strategy is concern, ego will not allow having a smooth sailing during negotiations. There can be no successful negotiation in such a case.

Thanks for reading.

How to improve your personality for success and happiness?

5 Steps to understand and build up a better personality.

Personality comprises understanding self, fixing one’s goals, physical and mental health and various other facets of the person as seen by himself/herself and as seen by others. Indeed, understanding personality is not easy. But it is extremely important. It is important for your success. More importantly it helps you to achieve happiness. The study of personality can be said to have its origins in the fundamental idea that people are distinguished by their characteristic individual patterns of behavior—the distinctive ways in which they walk, talk, furnish their living quarters, or express their urges. Whatever the behavior, personologists—as those who systematically study personality are called—examine how people differ in the ways they express themselves and attempt to determine the causes of these differences.

First, understand yourself.

Each one of us must sit down and contemplate about life’s significance. It’s a kind of vision statement which one must clarify to himself/herself. The act of contemplation on significance will always help you to adopt and maintain a proper prospective. Before researching possible career moves it is useful to spend time understanding yourself, including your capabilities, expertise and personal values. Being self-aware can help you to plan development and make career decisions that are right for you.

Write down your specific goals.

By and large everyone has wishes. But these are not specific desires. Wishes become desire only when you specify your goals. Wishes do not allowed you to focus and take actions needed for achievements. These wishes often times remain wishes. Further unrealized wishes erode self esteem. It is imperative therefore to write down clearly on your goals. Goals would state the time frame goals should also clarify how you plan to achieve. Its only when you make a practical plan that you can pursue your goals.

Physical and Mental Health both are equally important.

First on the list of your goals should be good health. One can achieve physically good health by taking care of food, exercise and sleep. Human body is made to last for about 100 years. So we need to use all the faculties with discretion. We must not over use, under-use, but strike a good balance and keep on becoming more effective. Mental health is even more important. It refers to your thoughts, your behavior and your attitude towards others. It also refers to your attitude towards life. A clear distinction is often made between ‘mind’ and ‘body’. Poor physical health can lead to an increased risk of developing mental health problems.

Good Communication Skills are Critical for your better relations at the workplace and at home.

We all communicate right from the time we are able to speak. In fact babies start communicating immediately after birth. As we grow the social considerations keep on shaping our communication skills. Besides the influence of people around, parents, teachers, friends and others we meet also create an impact. We can develop and maintain good communication skills only with regular review of our ability regarding communications. Good communication skills can aid in helping you land an interview and pass the selection process. Being able to articulate well provides a significant advantage! To do your job effectively, you have to discuss problems, request information, interact with others, and have good human relations skills – these are all part of having good communication skills.

Application of Mind at all times ensures that you remain on track.

Application of mind enables you to analyze any situation. It enables you to review your performance even in challenges. In fact, human sufferings impart great life’s lessons one should be willing to learn these lessons. Knowledge acquired through reading books, attending training programs and interacting others play an important role. One should never be judgmental. However it’s necessary to apply mind and to form opinions about anything that concerns us. This process helps us to become more decisive to pursue our goals. Present day world whatever we see and enjoy are nothing but result of application of mind. Application of mind is more important than knowledge. 

Thanks for reading.

How to be a good listener, to be popular, and to be respected?

Loved breeds happiness. And when you make others happy, you are loved. There is a close bond between love and happiness. So, how does listening help you in being loved and being happy? This is the subject of our discussion in this essay. The feeling that you are being loved brings you satisfaction. It enhances your self esteem and results in happiness. When others care for you, you feel important and when they listen to you, you feel significant and elated which adds to your happiness. Same is true when you listen to them.

Let’s deal with the subject by considering the following 3 questions:

What is good listening?
How does it help you to being loved?
How does it help you to be happy?


Question 1. What is good listening?


i) Ask question only to ensure understanding.

It requires you to put your agenda aside and totally devote to understanding and assimilating what is being said. You don’t listen to give a reply, but you just listen to understand. The moment you become keen to give a reply, your mind will start analyzing the speech from your own perspective. It will hinder your ‘objective’ understanding. You should, add comments, seek clarifications or ask question only after listening, understand and assimilating what is said.


ii) You should always be self-aware and live in present.

There should be no thoughts about the past nor should you think about future, when conversing with someone.

iii) Body language is important post of communication.

You need also to understand the body language of the speaker. And, this would include eye contact, posture, facial expression etc.

iv) Listening needs to be non-judgmental.

You must not allow your likes and dislikes or personal prejudice to affect the meaning the speakers wants to project.


v)  Listening is more important than speaking.

To be listened is so important for the people that many a times they will like to be heard rather than just granted the request what they requested.


vi) Learn the process of active listening.

Active listening calls for you to listen about 80% of the time without interruption balance 20% of the time you may ask questions. This will indeed be an attribute of good listening.

vii) Assumptions misguide and sometimes these are dangerous!

You need to make it known to the speaker that you are attentively listening. Thus, your nods with your head and words like ‘Yes’hmm ‘I see, I agree go long way to make be you an adept active listener.


viii) Relaxed mind is more receptive.

You will indeed enjoy your choice of active listening with the results that you will derive from the activity.


Question 2. How does active listening help you to being loved?
Now we can consider how listening actively makes others happy and make you in turn happy. They not only respect you but they love you if you actively listen to what they say.

Try to reflect what the speaker is feeling be at the same plane.

The speaker feels that he/she are important when you carefully listen to them. They are reassured that you care for them. In turn they will care for you. The speaker thinks that they have some worthy ideas that is being expressed. And if you don’t listen to them with due attention, they will feel let down. But if on the other hand you not only listen but make it known that you have listened, the speaker will feel elated and happy and so will you be.

Respect is always mutual, you have to earn respect. You have to make others happy to receive positive vibes making you happy in return.
Besides, better listening rids you of any bitter discussion. You understand that these are futile. Avoiding arguing, you also avoid bitterness which often is the result of trying to win an agreement. Active listening empowers you to hold your opinion without any offence. Because of your listening skills you are in a position to offer you opinion in a relevant manner. When your conversation with everyone becomes more meaningful, both of you enjoy it. Undoubtedly it brings happiness. 

Exchange of ideas in such a situation brings about a lot of learning on both sides. Continuous learning raises your self –esteem which in turn makes you satisfied with yourself and be contented.

In fact, even between the spouses the problem starts with one not listening to other. One feels ignored and the problem starts. Left unattended, it grows into unmanageable differences. If we are unhappy at home or at the work, place life is messed up.

Children too turn rebellious because they feel that parents don’t try to understand them. In the fast changing world today maintaining good relations is more challenging than ever. Yet good relationship is emanating from better understanding which forms the foundation of respect and love.
So if you want to be loved by others listen to them and make them feel that they are loved. If you want to gain happiness distribute the same among others who will gladly reciprocate.

Question 3. How does Good Listening help you to be Happy?


Every living being has physiological needs and safety needs. Living being must have food to live and is keen to care for life. That part is survival story. No happiness is involved. But, after survival needs are fulfilled, psychological needs come to the fore for human beings.
As social entities, humans want to have a feeling of belonging. It’s an experience that they belong to a community, a family or a group gives them a feeling of satisfaction. If they are alone and uncared their psychological craving of togetherness disturbs them.
Good listening helps you to have cordial relations with your family and friends. When you listen to them they come closer to you, they experience that you are giving them importance. By listening you reassure them of their significance. Inwardly they feel obliged to you as you are fulfilling their psychological need of heart to heart communication.
As we discussed earlier ability to express your ideas give a great satisfaction. However, you approve of your ability only if the listeners pay attention, understand and when possible and needed, take action. Likewise when you are actively listening, the speaker feels comfortable and satisfied with his skill of expression. In turn the process fosters better relation and love for each other. This is particularly important among the family members and close friends.

Besides, when you speak, you say what you already know. No doubt it satisfies your need for expression, but you don’t learn anything new. But listening gives you the opportunity to learn what you don’t know. Learning gives a great satisfaction and enhances your self esteem. When your self esteem is high you wish to do greater things. Self-esteem enables you to venture on the new turf, start new project. Maslow’s theory of happiness is recognized as the last word in respect of this great wishful emotion-happiness.
“There is a clear distinction between love and respect or esteem. The ability to feel self-esteem springs from being embraced by families and communities”. Further, you become more creative which again contributes to your confidence.
Good listening also helps you to mitigate your personal ego. Because when you are full of ego, you tend to behave as if you know all and therefore you shun listening, much less active listening.

Actualization makes you really happy. And what is actualization? Maslow defines actualization as “what a man can be, he must be. This need may be referred to the desire for self-fulfillment. So discovery of self, understanding the capabilities and then doing what it takes to actualize yourself will grant the best results. But this cannot take place unless you are a good listener.

Further, survey reveals that you tend to perceive situations, people and their reality more accurately if you are good listeners.
With all the advantages described above there remains no doubt that listening and its resultant process will make you one, who understands the world and the people better. This understanding will make you happier, more than your expectations.

Thanks for reading.