Our interpersonal relations with others depend upon various factors. Two most important factors are one – our behavior towards the concerned persons, and two and how we speak to the concerned persons.
The contents of what we convey to our peers and friends will primarily depend upon our behavior. If our conduct to certain persons has been consistently good. It shows our regard towards them. But how we speak to them, is equally important if not more. The efficacy of our speech can be improved by making our speech articulate. Besides, we also need to become good listeners. People want that when they speak, total attention of the listener/listeners should be focused on their speech. Their ego is hurt if they find listeners inattentive.
A few days after he took over as British Prime Minister, Churchill made a brief speech about forming an administration consisting of members from all major parties. This happened on May 13, 1940. These were his words:
“I say to the House as I said to the ministers who have joined this government, I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many months of struggle and suffering.
You ask what is our policy? I say it is to wage war by land, sea and air. War with all our might, and with all the strength God has given us, and to wage war against a monstrous tyranny never surpassed in the dark and lamentable catalogue. This is our policy.
You ask what is our aim? I can answer in one word. It is victory. Victory at all costs: Victory inspite of all terrors, Victory no matter how long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival…..”
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We find today that our leaders don’t hesitate to comment casually on serious subjects. It only shows shallowness and immaturity which percolates downwards to the people at large. Clearly the situation call for positive change!
In a way our life depends on our interpersonal skills. If we are good at it, people help us. At home to we have peaceful life. However, if we are lacking in this highly desirable skill we are the losers both at home and at our work place.
The first of the five ‘Best Practices’ may be termed as – At Never React. What does it mean? it means never react to a person nor to any situation, However gloomy or happy. It also mean that even if a person has said something which he/she should not have said; you just do not react and try to give back to him. But it does not mean that you keep quite and except these doing nothing. In fact you should use your mind and carry out those actions which your mind will certainly guide you. But it will guide you only if you remain cool. When you act, you use your mind. But if you react you loose your mind.
‘Best Practice’ No Two- Listen twice as much as you talk. We have two ears to listen but only one voice box which enable us to speak. Therefore, we should always listen more and speak less. Besides, people feel happy if you make them speak. But you must listen. This is observed by the speakers from your body language which you can not fake.
‘Best Practice’ No Three- Never try to appease. You must realize that it is not possible to please to every one at all the time. You should play your role at home, at your work place or even in society just as your mind guides you. Listen to your heart and you will never try to appease any one. When you go out of your way to please you are not a gainer. In fact you are a looser in the long run.
‘Best Practice’ No Four- Don’t ever be judgmental. Each person is an individual an has his/her space. Passing judgement comprises intrusion on personal spaces which is best avoided. Further more you should not gave any unsolicited advice. You may offer your opinion during discussion with out any effort to impose.
‘Best Practice’ No Five- Maintain cordiality in the ‘tone’ of your voice. Often times, how you say something assumes greater importance then what you say. Normally, we do not use offensive language, but the tone of our voice sometimes offends the listeners. Tone in the voice represents your emotions. These must always be controls per requirement of the situation.
Following above practices will ensure that you are able to maintain good relations with everyone.
Great leaders are great speakers. Public Speaking is an Art as well as a Science. One needs to understand what goes into making of a great public speaker. Today, I will talk to you about the seven secrets of Public Speaking.
Secret No. 1: Confidence
You must have confidence in yourself. You must respect yourself and value your opinions. You can only achieve this if you are not judgmental. It can be achieved if you have an open mind. Once you realise that like any other human being you can also make mistakes, you become confident. Again you become confident because you have nothing to hide and nothing to fear!
Secret No. 2: Overcoming Stage Fright.
Public Speaking dates back to the origin of history. Likewise stage fright has been felt by the Public Speakers from the time immemorial. There is no short cut for overcoming stage fright. We must realise that when we speak to audience it is not stage fright but it is heightened feeling. This is also a feeling we get whenever we are about to do something important. The more we find opportunities to address the audience, the faster we will overcome stage fright.
Secret No. 3: Body Language
This refers to the way you stand; the way you walk – it refers to your posture while speaking and your dress must also be cool!
Secret No. 4: Eye Contact
While speaking it is necessary that you make eye contact with you audience. It should appear that you are talking to the people. Each person of the audience should feel that you are talking to him or her. This can be achieved by practice along.
Secret No. 5: Articulation
Articulation for a Public Speaking refers to the clarity in his ideas, and the clarity of each and every word that he/she speaks. This is more of a Science. It can be achieved by understanding the principles and with lots of practice.
Secret No. 6: Ability to hold the attention of the audience
You have to develop modulation in your speech. This can be practiced by memorising and repeating dramatic monologues of Shakespeare and others. A lot of hard work has to get into building talent to modulate.
Secret No. 7: The Structure of the Speech
Every Speech must have a clear cut beginning. The various points that you want to communicate to the audience form the body. You need to be clear about these points which should not be more than three or four. In conclusion you must summarize what you have talked about and your speech on a happy note.
Early morning the news came that rape victim who was flown to Singapore for life saving treatment could not be saved. She died in spite of best efforts of the doctors..in spite of her strong will and desire to live.
There are lots of lessons that we all must learn from this tragic event.
That as thinking people we must apply our minds and express our opinions wherever possible. We can use social media; we may write letters to the editors of local newspapers; we may discuss among our social groups or wherever it is feasible. The objective should be to involve as many thinking people to discuss all the issues related to the tragedy.
Since morning most of the news channels are repeatedly showing the news. They know that people at large are glued to their television sets. During these discussions, we find commercial breaks. There are various kinds of advertisements during these breaks. The seriousness of the discussion is lost. The entire programme is reduced to a commercial activity.
The collective wisdom of people at large is far more valuable than the brightest brain in the world when it comes to social issues. So media will do well to consistently involve more and more people discussing the issue rather than focusing on the celebrities. Since the issue relates to common man on the street, the solution will also emerge from the street itself. And it will. What is needed is a consistent and sustained effort to involve more and more people in the process.
Presentation Skills are the need of the time. Right from the time a candidate appears from a Job Interview to the time he moves up the Corporate Ladder into Senior Management; his requirements to develop and deliver powerful presentations only increases.
The ability to engage the audience, communicate clearly and to ensure that the message is delivered is practice that must be assiduously developed into a habit. This call for a clear decision and positive action. The individual needs to put in the right kind of effort and needs proper guidance and assistance.
Training is extremely important. You need to have the right guide to make you aware about your areas of strengths and shortcomings. Nimble Foundation offers training in Public Speaking and Presentation Skills.
Visit www.nimblefoundation.org
Students may not be good listeners, but a Teacher must be one!
Unless the Teacher aggressively listens and understands the problems faced by the students in respect of a particular lesson, he/she will not evoke the desired respect from the students. Unless students respect their teacher, they will lose the desire to learn which is necessary for making any learning experience meaningful. Good listening is thus the key to developing a strong mutually rewarding teacher and student relationship.
A Fine Teacher Indeed!
Teaching is defined by the results which the Teacher is able to achieve in the classroom. The extent of knowledge the students are able to assimilate defines the capability of the Teacher. It is therefore necessary to formulate such tests which may be repetitively conducted to measure the learning and development of the students.
The present system of examinations does not truly measure the capabilities of the students. Students these days are only after marks. They are not able to imbibe the knowledge in fashion that would allow them to use it practically in real life.
When one thinks of an efficient teacher/trainer the picture of Anand Sir from Patna comes to the mind. I had an opportunity to talk with Anand Sir about four years. There was an article in the Indian Express I read on a flight from Delhi to Mumbai. It reported that he selects thirty students from poor families. These are 30 brilliant students. I am unaware of how he actually selects the students, but i am sure it must be highly effective because the report said that all of them prepared for the IIT examination and were actually selected. This is why they are called the IIT Super 30! The report did not carry the contact no. of ‘Anand Sir’. After reaching Mumbai. From Mumbai I contacted Indian Express Delhi and obtained the Mobile No. of Anand Sir and had the privielege of talking to him.
When I asked him how does he achieve this fear? What was his teaching method? He replied that he does not believe in teaching! Rather, he encourages his students to learn by themselves. Members of his group are encouraged to collabourate with each other and to compete with each other.
I believe Anand Sir, has imbibed and is following the finer principles of the Gurukul System that had ensured that India was a seat of education and higher learning for several centuries (until the arrival of the British).
The Indian Education System surely (and sorely) needs many more individuals like Anand Sir to make a difference.
A Fine Teacher Indeed!
Teaching is defined by the results which the Teacher is able to achieve in the classroom. The extent of knowledge the students are able to assimilate defines the capability of the Teacher. It is therefore necessary to formulate such tests which may be repetitively conducted to measure the learning and development of the students.
The present system of examinations does not truly measure the capabilities of the students. Students these days are only after marks. They are not able to imbibe the knowledge in fashion that would allow them to use it practically in real life.
When one thinks of an efficient teacher/trainer the picture of Anand Sir from Patna comes to the mind. I had an opportunity to talk with Anand Sir about four years. There was an article in the Indian Express I read on a flight from Delhi to Mumbai. It reported that he selects thirty students from poor families. These are 30 brilliant students. I am unaware of how he actually selects the students, but i am sure it must be highly effective because the report said that all of them prepared for the IIT examination and were actually selected. This is why they are called the IIT Super 30! The report did not carry the contact no. of ‘Anand Sir’. After reaching Mumbai. From Mumbai I contacted Indian Express Delhi and obtained the Mobile No. of Anand Sir and had the privielege of talking to him.
When I asked him how does he achieve this fear? What was his teaching method? He replied that he does not believe in teaching! Rather, he encourages his students to learn by themselves. Members of his group are encouraged to collabourate with each other and to compete with each other.
I believe Anand Sir, has imbibed and is following the finer principles of the Gurukul System that had ensured that India was a seat of education and higher learning for several centuries (until the arrival of the British).
The Indian Education System surely (and sorely) needs many more individuals like Anand Sir to make a difference.
