Your confidence depends on how you have been influenced by people around you till now. Be it your parents, your teachers, your friends and others you have been meeting. Some of the influences have created positive impact. ‘Yes, you can do it and you must try’. This motivates you to act even if there is some risk. ‘No, you can’t do it’, ‘it is not for you’ ‘what will others say when you fail’- these are some of the negative thoughts, instilled by people around you, or due to your own brooding. These hold you back.
Faith, Fear and Action are three most important ingredients of your self confidence. Today, everyone realizes the importance of self-confidence. Your career, your relations with others, your progress in life or even your reputation- all depend on your self- confidence. Your ability to overcome fears and your determination to take action even in adverse circumstances give it a boost. Anyone who wants to grow in life must develop ability to take some risk. Of course, you must not be a dare-devil. No need to deliberately expose yourself to great risk just to show off. Nor is there a need to take risk without thinking about the results. But some calculated risk of taking action to move forward in life is necessary.
Life is not a straight line. Like the waves in the sea, it moves up and down. There is low tide and there is high tide. There could be storms like we have in the ocean. You have to accept the challenge and move forward. Your determined action further enhances your faith and allays your fears. Consider that your body is a ship. And your mind is the captain of your ship. Just as the captain of the ship has to take decisions and take action all the time- 24×7, you must do that too. This will generate the required self-confidence. And, you will start viewing the life differently. It will no longer be a burden that tires you. It will be an interesting journey that will keep you in good cheer.
Some other suggestions to build your confidence and conquer your fears are:
Belief in yourself
Associate with confidence people
Keep motivating yourself by dwelling on positive thoughts
Today I’ll talk to you about the importance of goals in life. Anything that we do in life, we spend our precious time and money must bring about desired results. But often it does not happen. Why? Do we always try to figure out the reasons? If not, then why not? Because our goals are not clear. Because our desire to achieve the results is not so strong.
So what should we do? Sit back and think that everything will be alright? Or, that our luck is bad? No!
We must clearly define what we want to achieve. Write these clearly on our diary/journal. Make it known to the friends, family members, peers wherever it is necessary. Particularly to our well wishers. When we make our goals known to others, we become more committed.
Then, we should create a strong desire within us to achieve our goals. We need to contemplate on these as often as possible. Further, we need to plan how to achieve our goals. Work out the plan and write it down. Spend some time, contribute something, however small, daily towards achievement of what you want to do in life. It is worth it. And, you will be surprised to find how effective this process is for achieving what you want.
What are stretched goals? Goals should be short-term, medium-term, and long-term. In other words, what you want to achieve in the current year, next five years, ten years, twenty years, etc. Never think about obscurity of the future and changing times. Instead think that I have the ‘right’ and possibility of modifying my goals as per the needs of the changing times.
Furthermore, you need to work about a practical plan to achieve each of your goals. This should be backed up with action, you genuine effort to follow the plan. Life will be a lot more meaningful when the goals are well-defined and the plan to achieve these is followed.
You must define your goals in all aspects of life. Work out your own priorities, but you goals must cover all the following areas:
During Negotiations if you don’t agree with your opponent you have a right to say no. But it should be a ‘neutral’ No. What is a neutral No? It is not harsh. There is no anger in it. It is not even apologetic. If you are known to be a nice person, when you have to say No the best thing is to become neutral.
It is important to remain on the issue and not allow any digression. It is equally important not to allow your ego to come into the picture. Often times, even when there is a possibility of a solution, it does not materialize simply because of individual egos. By sticking to the issue and remaining neutral you leverage you strengths. There are certain does and don’ts that you must follow while negotiating with difficult people:
Your language should remain polite but firm.
You should listen actively to what the other person is saying.
You should try to assimilate the hidden meaning behind his/her words and strategize you arguments accordingly.
You have to be really quick witted during negotiations.
You should never say No using light-weight reasons. Preparation for an important negotiation is crucial. While doing your homework you should visualize what your opponent is likely to use as his/her negotiation weapons or arguments.
You should be prepared to meet these squarely.
You should remain alert and not be swayed by any emotional blackmail.
It is always good to have a nice image but not at cost of your personal interests. Managers must particularly use their discretion aptly during discussions with their higher ups.
In the last lesson (11) I had described some exercises which are helpful for enhancing resonance in the voice. But resonance is primarily a quality the male voice. What about the female Voice? What are the types of female voices?
For western classical singers the female voice can be classified as:
Soprano: This voice type represents the highest vocal range ability
Mezzo soprano or “half soprano”: vocal range that lies between soprano and the contralto voice type.
Contralto: the voice range which is the lowest female voice type.
Jane Eaglen, famous soprano singer
Patricia O’Callaghan well known for ‘half soprano’ singing
Karneus Katarina – famed contralto singer
However, when we look at the scene in India, famous female singers are known for their unique voice quality. The composers choose the singer as per the demand of the situation in the film. I am talking about female playback singers and not classical singers because they are better known to the people at large. Nevertheless, the importance and greatness of the classical female singers cannot be exaggerated.
While there is no doubt each one of them was endowed with unmatched talent, the development of the voice varies remarkably. This happened due to their learning process and the way music composers worked with them to achieve the desired result in singing. Lata Mangeshkar
It may be surprising, to many, to know that Lata Mangeshkar was rejected by many composers. They felt that her voice was very thin. In fact if we listen to her songs in very old movies, we will find that her voice was really thin. But it possessed a unique quality of a child’s innocence. However as the years passed, her voice matured. It is unrivaled even to this day. To me it appears that her singing grew as Lata Ji is seen in the following 2 pictures. Lata Mangeshkar in her younger days Lata Mangeshkar- her voice matured retaining its malady till date
Her songs truly reflect her versatility. She sings any type of song with unique ease. Invariably, her songs please the listeners immensely. The range of her voice and the poise in her songs are remarkable indeed. Her voice is very sweet and very attractive. Besides it has stood the test of time. If anything it has grown better and better.
As I like to talk about a number of well known female singers, this lesson no 12 will have many parts.
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