Lack of Confidence First of fall we need to understand the reason for lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is due to a fear of one kind or another (mostly unfounded). As an American wrote, “my life was full of misfortunes which never happened”.
Of course, one need not be reckless. Yet, harboring fear never helps. We need to think rationally and pen down what makes us afraid and why. This process helps remove some of the fear and begins the path of building confidence.
A famous Management Guru one said that there are four ‘C’s which form the foundation of an individual’s growth and a Company’s progress. These four virtues are – Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Consistency. The most important of these happen to be Confidence. If absence of confidence the other virtues will simply disappear. It is said that “they conquer who believe they can”. Self-belief is thus the second important factor in building up confidence. Confidence emerging out of self-belief is necessary for any significant achievement. New opportunities always carry some incidence of chance. For taking any initiative you must be prepared to take calculated risk. In fact not taking any risk is the biggest risk of life.
Further, Confidence enables you to trust yourself. And if you don’t trust yourself, nobody else will. No one will feel secure in placing any responsibility on you. That will be the dead end. There is no further growth.
Lost Opportunities Often we do not see opportunities because we are not interested. On the face of it, lack of desire acts as a strong handicap in our progress and growth. But, Confidence trains our mind to desire what the situation demands. It makes us alert enough to recognize and seize emerging opportunities. With desire created by confidence we look ahead, strive hard and succeed.
Confidence breeds courage For taking risk of any kind one needs to have courage. If we have confidence; we will be able to rise up to the demands of the situation. So we must go ahead and take calculated risk. Courage enables us to move ahead! Yet, if there is no confidence it will be very difficult to harness courage.
Smile Most people lack self-confidence. You can help them! Smile. Your smile will reassure them. You will be doing a great job helping them to gain confidence. This is particularly true when somebody is meeting a new group of people. We must also remember that the more we are helping others to gain confidence, the more we enhance our own self-confidence! We help ourselves too!!! Thanks for reading.
At our learning centre, we held a discussion on- “What is important for success- knowledge, power or wealth?”
The participants in the discussions were entrepreneurs, corporate executives, bankers and others. Different views were presented by the speakers. Some considered knowledge as most important factor. They enumerated examples of successful people who had risen from being unknown to highly rated successful individual by consistently acquiring knowledge and gainfully using it. Knowledge in such cases did not necessarily mean any university degree or such other qualification. Knowledge, here, denotes application of mind of the practical knowledge received through any medium and using the same for earning name, fame and wealth. Steve Jobs is one such example. Our own Dhirubhai Ambani is another. Even Warren Buffet’s story is no different. It is rags to riches. While academic Knowledge has also helped lots of people to become successful and famous.
The role of power in success, too, cannot be undermined. Politicians achieve power and then use the same to achieve greater power. This is how power helps them to be successful. In the present scenario, a powerful politician can introduce his/her son or daughter to become a nominated leader and in the process achieve success in politics. Many politicians, today, are following this model of leadership succession. Likewise, a powerful bureaucrat can use his power to help his friend relative to achieve success.
Wealth can buy knowledge and power. So, one may say that if you have money, you can achieve any goal by hiring people, facilities to create any large project and achieve success. But without Knowledge achieved through experience it is very difficult to see the success of a large project. Political leaders can no doubt introduce their wards in leadership succession through the power they wield, but unless they ensure that the latter gain sufficient experience, the entrant may not be successful. Knowledge acquired through experience alone will bring success to them. Here too, Knowledge gained with experience becomes important. Power alone will not work. So, the fact of the matter is that knowledge learnt through studies or gained through experience is indeed very important in any field. But, it needs to be remembered that the meaning of success has to be defined by each and every individual in his/her own terms. How should one do that? That will be a subject of another post. Thank you.
Education is necessary, but skills are essential. Unfortunately, our education system per se is such that it hardly helps an individual develop skills. Much less the skills, I think, are most important for living life happily and successfully. I am talking about following two skills in particular –
Skill of managing self.
Skill of managing relationships.
A child is born with some tendencies which may have a lot to do with his/her parentage. What is his father’s attitude to life, what is that of his mother, and more importantly how is their relationship with each other. While these factors continue to have their influence on the growth of the child, various other influences start playing an important role during the growing years. The teacher, the class mates, friends, relatives, and neighbors – all influence the child. It is hard to say how much these help in developing either of the two skills which I have mentioned above – skill with self, and skill with other people. So what should be done? What are the best steps that can be taken by all concerned for developing both these skills – skill with self & skill with people? The education system, as it is today, can hardly help. Teachers are bound by the curriculum and the parents may not be able to find the time from their busy schedule in the modern competitive life. But the ever growing media today can play a very important role provided parents are able to guide and regulate the exposure and use of the media by the child. The significance of Internet must not be undermined. All the knowledge required is available on the net. But one may say that a skill cannot be delivered by the information/knowledge on the net. Yes it is true to a large extent. Yet, YouTube presentations and other interactive programs make it possible to learn a lot from the net. In times to come, I am sure; the growth of the social media with websites focusing on special subjects will bring about a revolution in the concept of education and training. The need is that the parents, teachers and mentors motivate learners to be focused and stick to what they need to do. They should not be distracted. Developing skill with yourself, to me, means your ability to listen and talk to your own self. It also means to understand your heart, identify what you really like. Thereafter, one needs to concentrate one’s energies towards these. You must leverage your talent and your fondness. Developing skill with people, simple means to understand basic human psychology. Your interaction with them should never ignore the following fundamental principles;
That each person is interested in himself/herself more than you.
That I, me, mine put people off.
That making people talk makes them feel important.
That when you win an argument you lose a friend.
That listening attentively to others will impress them. They like you most when you do that
That you need to skillfully convince people. If you say something that is obviously to your advantage, people will be skeptical. So do it differently. Say how an important third person appreciated your products/efforts/services. This will help build confidence in the minds of people about you.
Reasons of procrastination so far as you are concerned.
Decision to remove procrastination from your life.
How to overcome procrastination at all times.
First of all let us talk about the reasons for procrastination. There could be following one or more reasons. These are laziness, indecision and health issues. It is necessary to find out which of these reasons are present in your personality and affecting your work.
If there are health issues, you must consult your doctor. In cases where there are some problems and you feel fatigue most of the time, you can be sure that there are some health problems which need to be resolved. This may time take some time and proper effort and follow-up, but it is necessary that you should undergo the process. There is no shortcut available.
If laziness is the issue you must understand that it is your habit which you have to change. Nobody else will do it for you. Habits die hard and you should be prepared to consistently work to eradicate the bad habit which you may have formed over a period of time.
If however indecision is the problem, you may have to struggle in order to become a decisive person. Here again you will have to dig deep to find out what are the reasons of your ‘indecision’. Mostly this could be related to fear of rejection or fear of failure. In either case the fear tends to become deep-rooted. While one finds it easier to escape this fear by not taking any action, in fact inaction leads to further indecision. Lower self esteem goes down and you find yourself as a poor performer. This is a serious handicap which unfortunately affects 90% of the people, today.
In any case all the above reasons have to be properly identified. These have to be properly addressed. Then only you can go to the next step which is consciously deciding to do away with this bane of life.
How do we do that?
Again, you have to do some research from your own life. You have also to document the problems that you have been facing; losses that this useless habit, procrastination, is causing continuously. It is better to write down all such situations and the damage procrastination has caused in your life in the past. Do it is for as long a period as you can go. Go through the history of the sufferings and of the all losses that you would have suffered. If it is possible you try to convert all the losses into money. Find out the total money lost due to your habit of procrastination. This will open your eyes. It will then be easier to realize that your progress has been suffering because of this bad habit which has been lingering on in your life.
The exercise will surely motivate you to stop procrastination. But don’t ever think that you will be rid of this malady easily. Therefore be prepared to work hard to achieve this feat. The good thing is that consistent efforts in this direction will surely produce results. If you have gone through this exercise honestly and diligently, you will surely decide to ward of this wasteful and costly habit. You will do whatever it takes to achieve this.
Start following your mind, taking actions whatever your inner self suggests. At the same time you have to keep on measuring the result. I have talked to you about two of the three aspects which I mentioned in the beginning and which we must study. Having talked about reasons for procrastination and taking a decision to remove it, eradicate it, we come to the most important aspect of the project. That is how to overcome the procrastination.
I have two critical suggestions which are known to bring forth excellent results. The first one is to start writing a journal. At the end of each day sit down for a few minutes and write down all that happened during the day. Focus on your procrastination. Note down where are you could have acted better. You should also note down if you had postponed anything which needed to be done. For that you should further describe the possible losses which postponing can cause in the coming time. The process of documenting these problems will surely play a very potent role in your enhancing efforts to overcome the serious problem, the one, which has been creating misery in your life.
The second suggestion that I want to give in this regard is: start reading stories of great achievers. You will find that most of them have achieved what they did because they never suffered from procrastination. In some cases the stories may or may not document how they overcame this serious roadblock if at all they had. Therefore do read. In either case you will be motivated to ward off procrastination in life. Even your basic logic will tell you that it is not worth suffering because of a habit which has never helped anyone. Their life stories will inspire you to follow their examples and do your duties diligently. When you are engaged in performance of your duty, you will find that there is no opportunity to procrastinate.
These are not by any means comprehensive solutions. These are just proven suggestions. You may find some other ways which could be helpful in addition to these. Do everything in your control to fight this enemy of your progress procrastination.
One % of the world population suffers from stuttering as per the available figures. However, various stages of stuttering have been revealed. The topic that we are going to discuss today is whether stuttering is curable or the victim has to live throughout the life with the speech problem.
To understand the answer for this question, it is necessary to find out what is the cause, of stuttering. Stuttering can happen due to various reasons. It has been observed that 50% of the cases stuttering are hereditary. Besides, there could be medical reasons which we will not talk about as it is beyond the scope of this discussion. Only qualified doctor will be able to comment on that.
1. What we are talking about is when there is no medical problem but still people stutter. It is necessary to understand how the words are formed and how the voice is created. The voice is created by the process of holding the breath in the lungs and releasing it through vocal cord. It produces sound not the words. The words are created by the speech organs. There are five speech organs which are; jaw, tongue, teeth, lips and pallet. These organs are responsible for creating clear words. And, for bringing about efficacy of your speech. Clarity is critical. There is breath in the lungs and some breath is released when we want to speak. This breath strikes the vocal cord which is like a rubber membrane. The moment it strikes there is vibration and sound is produced but it is only sound. The words are created by the speech organs as I have said above.
2. These five speech organs work in tandem and words can be created only by using the organs. Furthermore if there is no breath, there can be no speech. In the normal speech, coordination between the mind and the release of breath and the movement by the speech organs are required. But mind thinks 10 times faster than the speech. This is the major problem. Whenever we have to make a speech in front of an audience we tend to forget what we wanted to speak. The person who stutters is in a hurry to say what he has prepared lest he forgets what they had prepared.
3. The fact is that it is very difficult to speak the way you have prepared. It is said that there are three types of speeches. This is true. One speech that we prepare to deliver. Second is the speech that we would have delivered. Third is the speech that we like to have delivered. But perfect coordination between the mind and the speech works better and controls and the release of breath by the lungs. Speech can therefore be best made when we ensure that there is perfect coordination between the mind that that is the thinking power and the breath in the lungs. It is observed that whenever you are not speaking clearly because of any of your problems, you need to relax and reassure yourself that you will not be in a hurry. You should start habit of thinking and speaking. When you think and speak chances are that you will be able to say what you want to say without stuttering. But it’s a tedious process. You have to continue this practice all the time. Habits die very hard. But you don’t have to forget. If you do, the old habit returns. You have just to accept that you are trying to do something which is difficult. It is bound to take time and effort. Perseverance is something that will come to your rescue.
4. When we think of the famous people who stuttered, the first name that to mind is that of King George VI, father of present Queen Elizabeth. There is a movie named the ‘King’s Speech’. It depicts not only the effort of the king but also that of the trainer who ensured that there is marked improvement and the King is the able to broadcast the speech. Speech was mandatory in the turbulent times of war with Hitler. Anyone who is having some interest in the subject must watch the movie. It’s also available on YouTube.
5. When we talk of other famous personalities who stuttered there are many. Marlin Munroe and Julia Roberts are the famous actors. Winston Churchill also stuttered. Tiger Woods does and so does Joe Biden.
6. In our country the two names which come before us are that of Hrithik Roshan famous actor and his uncle Roshan, the music director. EMS Namboouripad ex- Kerala Chief Minister was another famous personality with the problem. While there is no doubt that complete cure of stuttering is not claimed by any of the speech therapist, some improvement can definitely be achieved, with the continued practice and efforts.
7. If we go through the example of the King George the VI, it is depicted in the movie referred above; we find that more than a qualified speech therapist the trainer, the dedicated speech trainer may be in a better position to help. Its replacing the fallacious speech habits with those which will work. One may find the course of Voice Culture training of great advantage. It’s so not only for the people who stutter but also for those who want to speak impeccable language.
Social media is a phrase that we throw around a lot these days, often to describe what we post on sites and apps like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and others.
But if we use the term to describe a site like Facebook, and also a site like Digg, plus a site like Wikipedia, and even a site like I Can Has Cheezburger, then it starts to get more confusing. Just what is social media anyway?
The term is used so vague that it can basically be used to describe almost any website on the internet today.
Or maybe not. Some people have more of a restricted view of social media, often equating it to mean the same as social networking (a.k.a. Facebook, Twitter, etc.). Other people don’t consider blogs to fall under the social media category.
1. So, What Is Social Media?
Rather than define the term using a bunch of boring jargon that would probably only complicate things further, perhaps the best way to get a clearer understanding of it is to break it down into simpler terms. To start, let’s look at each word individually.
The “social” part: refers to interacting with other people by sharing information with them and receiving information from them.
The “media” part: refers to an instrument of communication, like the internet (while TV, radio, and newspapers are examples of more traditional forms of media).
Okay, so from these two separate terms, we can pull a basic definition together:Social media are web-based communication tools that enable people to interact with each other by both sharing and consuming information.
Yes, it’s a broad definition – but keep in mind that social media is a very broad term. This is likely as specific as we can get without zeroing in too much on a more specific subcategory of social media.
2. Common Social Media Features
The following list of common features are dead giveaways of a social media site.
If you’re questioning whether a particular site could be classified as social or not, try looking for at least one of these features.
User accounts: If a site allows visitors to create their own accounts that they can log into, then that’s a good sign there’s going to be social interaction. You can’t really share information or interact with others online without doing it through a user account.
Profile pages: Since social media is all about communication, a profile page is often necessary to represent an individual. It often includes information about the individual user, like a profile photo, bio, website, feed of recent posts, recommendations, recent activity and more.
Friends, followers, groups, hashtags and so on: Individuals use their accounts to connect with other users. They can also use them to subscribe to certain forms of information.
News feeds: When users connect with other users on social media, they’re basically saying, “I want to get information from these people.” That information is updated for them in real-time via their news feed.
Personalization: Social media sites usually give users the flexibility to configure their user settings, customize their profiles to look a specific way, organize their friends or followers, manage the information they see in their news feeds and even give feedback on what they do or don’t want to see.
Notifications: Any site or app that notifies users about specific information is definitely playing the social media game. Users have total control over these notifications and can choose to receive the types of notifications that they want.
Information updating, saving or posting: If a site or an app allows you to post absolutely anything, with or without a user account, then it’s social! It could be a simple text-based message, a photo upload, a YouTube video, a link to an article or anything else.
Like buttons and comment sections: Two of the most common ways we interact on social media are via buttons that represent a “like” plus comment sections where we can share our thoughts.
Review, rating or voting systems: Besides liking and commenting, lots of social media sites and apps rely on the collective effort of the community to review, rate and vote on information that they know about or have used. Think of your favorite shopping sites or movie review sites that use this social media feature.
3. What’s the Difference Between Social Media and Social Networking?
As mentioned earlier, a lot of people user the terms social media and social networking interchangeably as if they mean the exact same thing. Although the difference is subtle, they’re not the same. Social networking is really a subcategory of social media.
The easiest way to understand the difference between social media and social networking is by thinking about the terms “media” and “networking” separately. Media refers to the information you’re actually sharing–whether it’s a link to an article, a video, an animated GIF, a PDF document, a simple status update or anything else.
Networking, on the other hand, has to do with who your audience is and the relationships you have with them. Your network can include people like friends, relatives, colleagues, anyone from your past, current customers, mentors and even complete strangers.
They certainly overlap, which is why it gets confusing. For example, you can share media with your social network to gather likes and comments–a form of social networking. But you can also just upvote a link on Reddit, which is a social media platform, to help out the community and give your say in the matter without any intention of building relationships with other users.
Still confused? Try to think of social media like fruit. Apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, berries, melons and pineapples are all part of the broader fruit category the same way that social networking, social news, social bookmarking, wikis, blogs and private web messaging are part of the broader social media category.
4. How to use Social Media?
The possibilities are immense. Realising the importance of social media many companies have your mouth special budgets. Some of these are having in-house departments. But there are many others who are using the services of independent professionals. There is no doubt that the social media is Gowind exponentially. But we have to understand each of these platforms. We have to identify which are such areas which can give best results to us. Each platform have some special features. Audience on each of these platforms is also different. Their profiles are available and before it becomes necessary for professionals to understand and recommend to their clients accordingly.The way it is expanding there is no doubt that in times to come it will be considered as an important part of the advertising efforts. Accordingly the budget allotted to the social media efforts are bound to grow. Keeping that There are lots of training institutes who are running courses only for social media.
5. What Are Some of the Known Issues With Social Media?
Social media isn’t all just fun and games with your friends, celebrities you admire, and brands you follow. There are lots of common problems that most major social media platforms haven’t totally solved, despite their effort to do so.
Spam: Social media makes it easy for spammers – both real people and bots – to bombard other people with content. If you have a Twitter account, you’ve probably experienced a few spambot follows or interactions. Likewise, if you run a WordPress blog, you may have gotten a spam comment or two caught by your spam filter.
Cyberbullying/Cyberstalking:Children and teenagers are especially susceptible to cyberbullying because they take more risks when it comes to posting on social media. And now that we all interact on social media via our mobile devices, most major platforms make it possible to share our locations, opening up the doors for cyberstalkers to target us.
Self-image manipulation: What a user posts about themselves on social media only represents a small portion of their life. While followers may see someone who’s happy and living it up via their posts on social media in such a way that makes them feel boring or inadequate by comparison, the truth is that users have the power to completely control what parts they do and don’t want to broadcast on social media to manipulate their own self-image.
Information overload: It’s not unusual to have over 200 Facebook friends or follow over 1,000 Twitter accounts. With so many accounts to follow and so many people posting new content, it’s almost impossible to keep up.
Fake news: Fakes new websites promote links to their own totally false news stories on social media in order to drive traffic to them. Many users have no idea that they’re fake in the first place.
Privacy/Security: Many social media platforms still get hacked from time to time despite having good security measures in place. Some also don’t offer all the privacy options that users need to keep their information as private as they want them to be.
6. What Does the Future Hold for Social Media?
It’s difficult to predict anything exactly, but if one thing can be said about the future of social media, it will probably be more personalized and less noisy. Over-sharing will be less of a problem and filtering out irrelevant information will become a stronger trend.
Snapchat is a social media platform that’s really at the forefront of social media evolution. Rather than blasting out updates for all our friends and followers to see, we use Snapchat more like we communicate in real life – with specific people only at specific times.
If anything, social media is probably about to move more toward ephemeral sharing for quicker, more intimate sharing without the stress of having to blast something out to hundreds or thousands of followers that stays up there unless it’s manually deleted. Instagram has already made the move toward ephemeral content sharing with its Snapchat-like stories feature, so maybe more platforms will be soon to follow.
Friends, Hi! Today I will talk to you about leadership. PowerPacked Leadership. We all know that in this fast paced competitive world, Leadership has assumed paramount importance, paramount for our progress & growth. I consider that all of us are leaders in our own rights. But it is possible that the leader is latent. Through various activities, we will not only discover but we will activate the leader who may he hiding. Some of you may be functioning as full fledged leaders at your work, place, not at home, for at home you may have a more powerful leader. At home, your better half becomes more powerful. In such cases you will be able to hone your leadership skills and further develop leadership qualities. Let me tell you about various aspects of leadership. Five aspects of leadership are critical. What are these 5 factors?
Understanding what is leadership. What are the traits of a strong leader? Which are the various leadership styles? What is your leadership style? Understanding these questions will help make our activities more focused and useful.
2. Second in line is delegation. Again what is delegation? Why and when it is necessary? How to delegate effectively? And finally how to develop trust and empower those whom you delegate. Without trust and without empowerment, delegations are meaningless.
3. Third vital aspect of leadership is team building. Here again we will have to define i) what are characteristics of a good team? ii) How can the leader play an effective role as the main motivator? And, most importantly how to get the best of out of your team members. Achieving best possible results & productivity is like the soul of leadership.
4. Fourth aspect of leadership, which we will study, is: how leaders are different from the manager. No doubt manager is also a leader. But his fundamental responsibility is to follow the company’s mission, to ensure that work goes on as per the standards set by the organization. But the leader is an innovator.
5. Last but not the list we will check and work out how a leader must manage his/her time. We all have to manage our time. But for the leader, it is the cardinal point. Leader is responsible for his time as well as, how time at the workplace is used, by team members. It should be optimal utilization. For this study we must assess it.
We have special questionnaires which will guide us. Working out priorities is of practical importance. In all these above qualities of the leader the focal point is communication. No doubt written communication is important. But today the verbal communication has come to forefront. What you say? The language you use? But more importantly, how you say it. Clarity of speech is principal factor when we talk of influencing people. And then we must be able to hold attention of listener/ listeners. This we can do only by modulating our speech. With the voice culture techniques that we have developed, we’ll try to experience the effect of modulation. That brings us to the leader’s core quality. Speech & speaking skills! These I will deal in my next talk.
“People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances. The people who get on in the world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they don’t find them, they make them!” These words of George Bearnard Shaw are more relevant today than ever before. In the continuous changing society, it is imperative to rely on knowledge, process and technology – all three to keep pace with the change. Leaders must keep in mind the following aspects for effectively ensuring and properly implementing change in the organisations they lead. These are:
1. Innovation: The leader should have the the ability to innovate. This requires imagination, knowledge and perspective, and a thorough understanding of the organisation he leads.
2. Personal Involvement: It is necessary for the leader to be personally involved for the efficacy of the strategy to bring about change. He can not carry out the same by proxy.
3. The Leader should know what needs to be done in general, though not in detail. This should be true at every stage of change management.
4. The Leader must be able to deal with ambiguity and be willing to take the required risks. Not taking any risks is the biggest risk.
5. Above all, the leader must understand and correctly assess how much the organisation can change and at what speed. Satish Kakri, Director – Nimble Foundation
Persistence is perhaps the most important reason of anyone’s success in life. The 4 elements of Persistence including its definition and explanation that I have chosen to discuss are:
1.What is persistence? Its definition. 2.The road blocks or the difficulties faced for persistence. 3.How to develop persistence if it is not the part of your personality? 4.Last but not the least, how does persistence help you to achieve your goals? This discussion will contain examples of the leaders who are the shining stars in this respect. Let us deal with each of this 4 elements in detail.
1: How do we recognize the ability to persevere in anyone’s personality? What have the leaders and thinkers in the past stated about persistence? The review will enable us not only to understand but also to assimilate the virtues of persistence. Following are the famous quotes of great leaders and thinkers from different fields
1. Winston Churchill: “Never, never, never, never give up!” 2. Buddha: “A jug fills drop by drop” 3. Samuel Johnson: “Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance” 4. Napoleon Hill: “Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop” 5. Albert Einstein: “It is not that I’m so smart, it is just that I stay with problems longer” 6. Ralph Waldo Emerson: “By persisting in your path, though you forfeit the little, you gain the great. 7. Unknown: “It is when things get tough and you don’t quit that success comes” 8. Unknown: “The darkest hour is just before the dawn” In fact your persistence in following your project measures your faith in yourself.
2: The moot question is persistence if understood to be so important for progress; then why it is missing in almost 90% of the educated working class. It is difficult to find one common answer for all those who lack perseverance. A study of the human behavior assigns the following reasons why perseverance is missing in most of the people. i) Accepting life as it comes. The habit of living life in a certain way which does not require to stretch out of your comfort zone does not allow one to think beyond. ii) Sometimes, the problem starts during our formal education. The education system does not emphasize the important of simplicity in dissemination of the knowledge. Complex instruction affects the student’s ability to understand and assimilate. As a result there is a tendency of the mind to go somewhere else. Important of persistence does not come in to the picture. iii) Lack of patience, inability to take risk and inadequate courage also act as deterrents.
iv) Goals of life should be specified and written down by each individual. Our goals inspire us to persevere in order to achieve them. When there are no goals there is no inspiration.
3: How to develop persistence We must specify our goals and they should be written down. The goals can be according to your priorities. The subject of our goals can be: health goals, career and financial goals, and family goals etc. You may add any other goal as per your liking. But, these should be time bound. These will inspire you to persist in your efforts for achieving these. Keep on thinking about these goals at least once everyday. Meditation is very useful. It enables you to review that you are moving forward in the right direction. When you meditate on any subject, the mind will keep on wandering and providing inputs on the subjects. This means that in the back of your mind you will keep on thinking about your goals. Meditation is not related to any particular faith. You may sit down and meditate to believe that you have achieved these goals.
4: The benefits of persistence.These are immense. Progress in any project that you may undertake will become easier than you may imagine. Big difficult projects will not frighten you. You will gladly undertake these knowing fully well that these will require your consistent hard work. Your commitment to your mission becomes impeccable. The lives of great leaders of the world tell us innumerable success stories of those who failed many times before achieving success. Some of the well known examples are: Abraham Lincoln who failed repeatedly before becoming successful, Dr. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and our own Mahatma Gandhi. You may find any number of examples that you may like when you go through the pages of world history. Thanks for reading.
Loved breeds happiness. And when you make others happy, you are loved. There is a close bond between love and happiness. How does listening help you in being loved and being happy? This is the subject of our discussion in this essay. The feeling that you are being loved brings you satisfaction. It enhances your self esteem and results in happiness. When others care for you, you feel important and when they listen to you, you feel significant and elated which adds to your happiness. Same is true when you listen to them. They feel comfortable and enjoy your company.
Let’s deal with the subject by considering the following 3 questions: What is good listening? How does it help you to being loved? How does it help you to be happy?
Question 1. What is good listening?
i)It requires you to put your agenda aside and totally devote to understanding and assimilating what is being said. You don’t listen to give a reply, but you just listen to understand. The moment you become keen to give a reply, your mind will start analyzing the speech from your own perspective. It will hinder your ‘objective’ understanding. ii) Your attention need to be fully in the present. There should be no thoughts about the past nor should you think about future.
iii) You need also to understand the body language of the speaker. And, this would include eye contact, posture, facial expression etc. iv) Listening needs to be non-judgmental. You must not allow your likes and dislikes or personal prejudice to affect the meaning the speakers wants to project. v) To be listened is so important for the people that many a times they will like to be understood rather than just granted the request what they requested. vi) Active listening calls for you to listen about 80% of the time without interruption balance 20% of the time you may ask questions which clarify what they say. This is indeed an attribute of good listening. vii) You also need to make it known to the speaker that you are attentively listening. Thus, your nods with your head and words like ‘Yes’hmm ‘I see, I agree go long way to make be you an adept active listener.
viii) You will indeed enjoy your choice of active listening with the results that you will derive from the activity.
Question 2. How does active listening help you to being loved?
Now we can consider how listening actively makes others happy and make you in turn happy. They not only respect you but they love you if you actively listen to what they say. The speaker feels that he/she are important when you carefully listen to them. They are reassured that you care for them. In turn they will care for you. The speaker thinks that they have some worthy ideas that is being expressed. And if you don’t listen to them with due attention, they will feel let down. But if on the other hand you not only listen but also make it known that you have listened, the speaker will feel elated and happy and so will you be. Respect is always mutual, you have to earn respect. You have to make others happy to receive positive vibes making you happy in return.
Besides, better listening rids you of any bitter discussion. You understand that these are futile. Avoiding arguing, you also avoid bitterness which often is the result of trying to win an agreement. Active listening empowers you to hold your opinion without any offence. Because of your listening skills you are in a position to offer you opinion in a relevant manner. When your conversation with everyone becomes more meaningful, both of you enjoy it. Undoubtedly it brings happiness. Exchange of ideas in such a situation brings about a lot of learning on both sides. Continuous learning raises your self –esteem which in turn makes you satisfied with yourself and be contented. In fact, even between the spouses the problem starts with one not listening to other. One feels ignored and the problem starts. Left unattended, it grows into unmanageable differences. If we are unhappy at home or at the work, place life is messed up. Children too turn rebellious because they feel that parents don’t try to understand them. In the fast changing world today maintaining good relations is more challenging than ever. Yet good relationship is emanating from better understanding which forms the foundation of respect and love. So if you want to be loved by others listen to them and make them feel that they are loved. If you want to gain happiness distribute the same among others who will gladly reciprocate.
Question 3. How does Good Listening help you to be Happy?
Every living being has physiological needs and safety needs. Living being must have food to live and is keen to care for life. That part is survival story. No happiness is involved. But, after survival needs are fulfilled, psychological needs come to the fore for human beings. As social entities, humans want to have a feeling of belonging. It’s an experience that they belong to a community, a family or a group gives them a feeling of satisfaction. If they are alone and uncared their psychological craving of togetherness disturbs them.
