Mastering Calmness in Tough Times

1) What is calmness?

Calmness is a state of mental and emotional tranquility. It involves being free from agitation, excitement, or disturbance. Calmness is characterized by a sense of peace, relaxation, and composure, even in stressful or challenging situations. It can be cultivated through various practices such as mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing exercises, and other stress-reduction techniques. Achieving calmness often allows for clearer thinking, better decision-making, and improved overall well-being.


2) Why do people get restive?

People can become restive for various reasons, often linked to feelings of discomfort, dissatisfaction, or impatience. Some common reasons include:

Boredom or Lack of Stimulation: When people are bored or not sufficiently engaged, they may become restless and seek something to do.

Discomfort: Physical discomfort, such as being in a cramped space or an uncomfortable position, can make people fidgety and uneasy.

Anxiety or Stress: High levels of anxiety or stress can lead to restlessness. This can be due to worries about personal issues, work, or broader societal concerns.
Impatience: Waiting for something, especially if it takes longer than expected, can make people impatient and restless.

Unmet Needs or Desires: When people’s needs or desires are not being met, they can become agitated and restless.
Monotony or Routine: A lack of variety or change in daily routines can lead to restiveness as people seek novelty and excitement.
Environment: Certain environments can contribute to restlessness. For example, noisy or chaotic surroundings can make it difficult to relax.
Medical Conditions: Some medical conditions, such as ADHD, restless leg syndrome, or hyperthyroidism, can cause physical restlessness.

3) What are reasons behind anxiety?

Anxiety can be caused by a combination of factors, which can vary from person to person. Here are some common reasons behind anxiety:

Genetics: A family history of anxiety disorders can increase the likelihood of experiencing anxiety.

Brain Chemistry: Imbalances in brain chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine can affect mood and anxiety levels.

Personality: Certain personality traits, such as being highly sensitive, introverted, or perfectionistic, can make individuals more prone to anxiety.

Environmental Factors: Stressful life events, such as trauma, abuse, the death of a loved one, or significant life changes (e.g., moving, starting a new job), can trigger anxiety.

Medical Conditions: Chronic illnesses, thyroid disorders, heart disease, and other medical conditions can contribute to anxiety.

Substance Use: The use of caffeine, alcohol, and drugs can lead to or exacerbate anxiety symptoms. Withdrawal from these substances can also cause anxiety.

Brain Structure: Certain regions of the brain, particularly those involved in emotional regulation, may function differently in people with anxiety disorders.

Cognitive Patterns: Negative thought patterns, such as excessive worrying, catastrophizing, or overgeneralizing, can contribute to anxiety.

Behavioral Factors: Avoidance behaviors can perpetuate anxiety by preventing individuals from facing and overcoming their fears.

Social Factors: Social isolation, lack of support, and poor relationships can increase feelings of anxiety.

Nutritional Deficiencies: Poor diet and deficiencies in certain nutrients, such as magnesium and B vitamins, can affect mental health and contribute to anxiety.

Hormonal Changes: Hormonal fluctuations, such as those occurring during puberty, pregnancy, or menopause, can influence anxiety levels.

4) How to deal with people who bully?

Dealing with bullies can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can help manage and potentially resolve the situation:

Stay Calm and Confident:
Bullies often seek a reaction. Staying calm and confident can sometimes defuse their attempts to provoke you.

Set Boundaries:
Clearly and firmly tell the bully to stop their behavior. Use assertive language and maintain eye contact if possible.

Avoid Isolation:
Spend time with friends or colleagues who can provide support. Bullies are less likely to target someone who is not alone.

Document Incidents:

Keep a record of what happened, including dates, times, and witnesses. This documentation can be useful if you need to report the bullying.

Seek Support:
Talk to friends, family members, or a trusted person about what’s happening. Emotional support can make a significant difference.

Report the Bullying:

If the bullying occurs at work or school, report it to the appropriate authorities, such as a supervisor, HR department, or school administration.

Practice Self-care:
Engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Taking care of your mental and physical health is important when dealing with stress.

Learn Conflict Resolution Skills:
Sometimes, understanding how to effectively communicate and resolve conflicts can help in dealing with bullies.

Avoid Retaliation:
Responding with aggression can escalate the situation. It’s often better to respond with calmness or remove yourself from the situation if possible.

Professional Help:
If the bullying is causing significant distress, consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist.

5) What role communication skills play in maintaining your calmness?

Communication skills play a crucial role in maintaining calmness in various ways. Here’s how:

Effective Expression: When you can articulate your thoughts and feelings clearly, it reduces misunderstandings and potential conflicts. This clarity often leads to a more peaceful interaction, helping you remain calm.

Active Listening: Good communication involves listening attentively. When you listen carefully to others, you gain a better understanding of their perspectives and concerns, which can prevent jumping to conclusions or reacting impulsively.

Conflict Resolution: Strong communication skills enable you to navigate conflicts constructively. You can express your feelings calmly, listen to the other party, and work towards a resolution without escalating tensions.

Stress Management: Being able to communicate effectively helps in expressing stress or frustration in a healthy manner. Whether it’s seeking support or explaining your needs, clear communication reduces the likelihood of bottling up emotions that could lead to outbursts.

Building Relationships: Calm and effective communication fosters trust and respect in relationships. It creates an environment where both parties feel heard and valued, promoting harmony and reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings.


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SOMNATH TEMPLE

SOMNATH TEMPLE

The Somanath temple(IAST: somanātha) or Deo Patan, is a Hindu temple located in Prabhas Patan, Veraval in Gujarat, India. It is one of the most sacred pilgrimage sites for Hindus and is the first among the twelve jyotirlinga shrines of Shiva. It is unclear when the first version of the Somnath temple was built, with estimates varying between the early centuries of the 1st millennium and about the 9th century CE. The temple is not mentioned in the ancient Sanskrit texts of Hinduism; while various texts, including the Mahabharata and Bhagavata Purana, mention a tirtha (pilgrimage site) at Prabhas Patan on the coastline of Saurashtra, where the temple is presently located, there is no evidence that a temple existed at the site in ancient times.

The temple was reconstructed several times in the past after repeated destruction by multiple Muslim invaders and rulers, notably starting with an attack by Mahmud Ghazni in the 11th century. In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, historians and archaeologists of the colonial era actively studied the Somnath temple because its ruins showed a historic Hindu temple that was turning into an Islamic mosque. After India’s independence, those ruins were demolished, and the present Somnath temple was reconstructed in the Māru-Gurjara style of Hindu temple architecture. The contemporary Somnath temple’s reconstruction was started under the orders of the first Deputy Prime Minister of India, Vallabhbhai Patel after receiving approval for reconstruction from Mahatma Gandhi. The reconstruction was completed in May 1951, after Gandhi’s death.

The Somnath temple is located along the coastline in Prabhas Patan, Veraval, Saurashtra region of Gujarat. It is about 400 kilometres (249 mi) southwest of Ahmedabad, 82 kilometres (51 mi) south of Junagadh – another major archaeological and pilgrimage site in Gujarat. It is about 7 kilometres (4 mi) southeast of the Veraval railway junction, about 130 kilometres (81 mi) southeast of the Porbandar airport and about 85 kilometres (53 mi) west of the Diu airport.
The Somnath temple is located close to the ancient trading port of Veraval, one of three in Gujarat from where Indian merchants departed to trade goods. The 11th-century Persian historian Al-Biruni states that Somnath has become so famous because “it was the harbor for seafaring people and a station for those who went to and fro between Sufala in the country of Zanj (east Africa) and China”. Combined with its repute as an eminent pilgrimage site, its location was well known to the kingdoms within the Indian subcontinent. Literature and epigraphical evidence suggest that the medieval-era Veraval port was also actively trading with the Middle East and Southeast Asia. This brought wealth and fame to the Veraval area, as well as the temple.

The site of Prabhas Patan was occupied during the Indus Valley Civilisation, 2000–1200 BCE. It was one of very few sites in the Junagadh district to be so occupied. After abandonment in 1200 BCE, it was reoccupied in 400 BCE and continued into the historical period. Prabhas is also close to the other sites similarly occupied: Junagadh, Dwarka, Padri and Bharuch.
The site of Somnath has been a pilgrimage site from ancient times on account of being a Triveni Sangam (the confluence of three rivers: Kapila, Hiran and Saraswati). Soma, the Moon god, is believed to have lost his lustre due to a curse, and he bathed in the Sarasvati River at this site to regain it. The result is said to be the waxing and waning of the moon. The name of the town, Prabhasa, meaning lustre, as well as the alternative name Someshvara (“the lord of the moon” or “the moon god”), arise from this tradition.


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ANJANEYA TEMPLE

ANJANEYA TEMPLE

The Anjaneya Temple at Nanganallur, Chennai is a Hindu temple dedicated to the god Hanuman. The principal idol of Hanuman is 32-feet tall and sculpted from a single piece of granite, which the second tallest Hanuman after Panchavatee near Puducherry.

The idol of Hanuman was installed in 1989 and consecrated in 1995. Sri Maruthi Bhaktha Samajam Trust, consisting of people with high spiritual beliefs, wished for this temple. Sri Chandrashekarendra Saraswati mahaswamiji of Kanchi Mutt entrenched the 32-foot idol of Anjaneyar in 1989 and consummated the Kumbabishekam in 1995. The distinguished factor of the 32-feet idol is that it was molded out of a single rock.

The main shrine houses Anjaneya inside a Temple Tower 90 feet tall. Anjaneya is facing west, and thus the main entrance is on the west. There is an auxiliary entrance on the southern side used during temple festivals. The main temple building has path-ways all around the sanctum sanctorum and also a large covered space (mandapa) for devotees to assemble in front of the deity for offering worship.
On the northwest corner is a full-fledged Sannidhi for Lord Rama, Sita, Lakshmana and Hanuman in attendance. The gods are facing east. Rama’s role as the protector and ruler is signified here as Rama is seen carrying his bow, hence the name “Kodanda Rama.” Southwest, is a Sannidhi for Lord Krishna with Rukmini and Satyabhama, all facing east. Even though a Sannidhi for Lord Rama is normally built in Anjaneya temples, rarely a Sannidhi for Lord Krishna is built. In this temple, Krishna Sannidhi is built to remind the devotees that among the gods it was only Hanuman who was present in both the Indian epics—in Ramayana as a direct disciple of Rama, and in Mahabaratha on the flag of Arjuna’s chariot to save it from destruction by the opponents. In the northeast part of the temple, on a small platform, “Vinayaka” is housed facing east and to his left on another platform ‘Naga’ has been installed. Saint Raghavendra has taken his abode facing Lord Krishna.

The temple was run by a private trust – Sri maruthi bhaktha samajam trust – since consecration on 1995. However, widespread allegations of financial irregularities in the administration of the temple and the trust resulted in several complaints and petitions to the Government of Tamil Nadu. This prompted a review and enquiry by the government and upon unsatisfactory response and evidence from the trust, the Hindu Religious and Charity Endowment Department declined exemption and took over the administration of the temple since July 2013. Predictably, this action was severely criticized by Sri Maruthi Bhaktha Samajam Trust, the former management, which was accused of the financial irregularities.


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Who took away my peace of mind?

Nobody else did. It’s lack of understanding by you, your mind. It’s difficult to conceive the vastness of the ocean. But it is even more difficult to imagine the vastness of the   mind. Sea is often very calm only sometimes it is turbulent. While an ocean is turbulence only at some occasions, the mind is at peace on only sometime.  The confusion of the mind primarily arises due to the contradictions experienced in the fast paced life today. There is nothing that we can do for turbulence of the ocean. We can certainly tame our mind to achieve calmness and peace.

In fact peace of mind requires only your focus and consistent reminders to yourself. It has no tangible cost. It’s free
Nature – what it does? When it does? It remains unknown to mankind. Though there is no doubt that extensive study of nature has given us the knowledge and power to predict.
But when we talk of mind it is our choice to train it to be at peace most of the time. We have to understand the difference between peace and bliss. Peace is not bliss but peace offers you an ability to get into state of bliss when you want.
At work place, if you are doing something that you don’t like to do yet you have to do it under compulsion, your mind cannot be at peace. When you are lost in your work and you know that the work is important for you, you are a peace with yourself. Further, if you enjoy your work then every milestone that you achieve will give you bliss. There are the number of Dos and Don’ts which help you to gain peace of mind.
First, let us enumerate the don’ts:

1. Don’t get too much involved in reading the negative news. Our newspapers and electronic media are full these. You may scan through the headlines to be abreast with what is going on. Read books that will give you positivity. So many are available choose what you like and read to follow good suggestions.

Description: Image result for 2.	Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude

2. Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude. Interaction with them will sink their negativity into your subconscious mind. Be always pleasant and nice. But instead of spending your valuable time, give them a broad smile and excuse four self.

3. Regard each person as an individual. They are entitled to hold their opinions. Do not be judgmental. Negative emotions like envy, jealousy, criticism of others will affect your peace of mind. So avoid these. But at the same time don’t just agree with anyone just to please humor her. Stand up for yourself.

4. Past is history. It does not have any significance except the lessons you have learnt. So don’t dwell on your past. Its human nature that your thought will hover round events in the past- unpleasant or even pleasant. Just follow lessons that you have learnt.

5. Become friends with members of your family. Children are very intelligent today and they should be treated as friends. Likewise you should be friendly with your spouse. When you talk to your family, particularly, don’t be casual taking them for granted. It’s important what you speak but it is even more important how you say it.

6. Your speech controls your relations with others including members of your family. Therefore use your words with care and discretion. The way you say something is as important as what you say.

7. Don’t be too much attached with your possessions. Practice detachment. What we have today, we may not have tomorrow.

Now about the dos!

1.Learn to focus your mind. Cut the clutter. On and average there comes as many as fifty thousand thoughts in one day. Try to reduce this number by focusing your mind.

2. Practice meditation. It will help more than one can imagine.

3. Cultivate a habit to enjoy only healthy food. Decide that you must eat slightly less than your hunger.

4. Go on vacation periodically. The cycle of routine work needs to be broken as often as possible.

5. Give yourself some quality time. Talk to yourself. Talk about what you like about you. And, further improve the same.

6. Make it your habit to consider that challenges are your opportunities. When you face these challenges with success, it gives you happiness and your mind becomes peaceful.

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Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is your own individual decision
Total freedom to your pursuit of Happiness
Age no bar for Pursuit of Happiness

Everyone in his/her life pursues various objectives and goals with the ultimate objective of achieving happiness. ‘Pursuit of the happiness’, these words initial used by US president Jeffereson Devis. Subsequently they were made popular by Martin Luther king in his famous speech ‘I have a dream’. No doubt, everyone has a right to pursue happiness in whichever way the person likes. However, very often we are so much involved in daily routine that we are carried away by the string of events. In the process, we lose focus on what we are trying to achieve. It will be a good exercise for each one of us to reflect on  these words and work out and define what is how you plan to pursue your happiness.
Firstly, we must understand that happiness is not just momentary pleasures of life. I do not say that pleasures of life should not be there. But that these should be only a part of our larger plan, which should addresses some or all of the related features of happiness. The following aspects are of immense importance in an individual’s life.
Your attitude to life. One must have a positive attitude. Life is full of ups and downs. There could be challenges, successes and failures. Positive attitude means just to accept these as a part of life. You become a witness or an observer of what is going.  At the same time, use your discretion to take decisions. It’s only then that we understand that we can remain composed and maintain our poise in turbulent times. In fact, it is necessary to maintain our poise even in the happiest time. None of the two situations last forever. Like every night is followed by the day. Every day is followed by night. But in life it may not be in the same order and the duration may also vastly differ.

Importance of your Goals: In order that you pursue happiness, you must define your goals: in all of the following aspects.

  1. Health goals. Good mental and physical health is extremely important if you want to lead a happy life. Doing what is necessary to keep good health is everyone’s duty. Regular exercise, following proper food routine and maintaining positive attitude can ensure that you are moving towards your health goals from day to day. Yet, it is a continuous process to pursue throughout the life.
  2. Career/ financial goals. If you are successful in your career it expected that you will also do your financial and remain comfortable but you have to find tune of your objectives and follow the plan as devised.
  3. Your family is undoubtedly equally important and should feature in your pursuit of happiness, according to our own Indian tradition. The importance of finance and family are critical in your pursuit.
  4. Then comes to your social goals. What do want to contribute to the society and what you actually do, determines how successful you are in following social goals. Here again,  you need to define and then follow your plan of action. The amount of success you achieve in your social goals will add up in your happiness. It will also determine how the society perceives and respects you. In other words, it means your reputation is reflected by what and how you contribute to the society.
  5. For leading a fuller, complete life you must pursue some hobbies. At least one. It could be music. It could be painting .It could be some sport. It could also be travelling, writing etc. But the important thing is that you have atlaest one hobby on which you able to spend some time. It must not only for name sake.
  6. Last but not the least your spiritual goals are also important. We all know that no one has to stay here forever. Sooner or later we must depart. We don’t know where. This uncertainty needs your spiritual pursuit. Whichever religion you may follow, you must define your spiritual goals. These will eventually define how you are remembered after your departure.

 
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BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER:

Everyone loves to enjoy beauty. The beauty of nature is captivating. but, what is beauty when it comes to human beings? Beauty is not something that comes from physical appearance. Physical attractiveness are deception; what matters really is the nature of a person. It is  true that beautiful or handsome people are more appealing. But we can have a reliable relationship and long lasting trust only on the personalities of people. Physical appearance of a person might fade as years pass on; but their characters do not. So, we should nit judge anyone or anything by the appearance. It is a great wisdom to realize that “Beauty Is In the Eye of The Beholder”

If we all are familiar about the proverb “All that Glitters is Not Gold”, then we would be aware that we cannot believe someone by their appearance. When we are in the light of wisdom outer beauty of a person will not drive us.  What makes a person attractive is the inner beauty.

People with inner beauty are those that love to make peace with everyone, take care of fellow beings and try to follow the path of justice.

How many of us remember the significance of physical beauty when we talk about King Maker Kamarajar? (Late Chief Minister Tamil Nadu).


Do we think physical appearance is important even after we hold Sports personalities like Sachin Tendulkar, Mary Kom, Maria Sharapova and many others as our role models? We do not see the appearance of these people to keep them high as our inspiration. Their talents and achievements are incomparable and that is what has made them world famous. If we think they have become famous by their beauty then it is our foolishness



The legends who have lived and made us realize the importances of inner beauty are: Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. Nelson Mandela is a great man known for his sacrifice Mandela was willing to sacrifice in order bring equality and get equal rights for the Blacks in South Africa. He is definitely a legend with inner beauty. Mahatma Gandhi, who fought till death for Free India is a man of inner beauty. If we learn the sacrifice Mother Teresa made in her life to serve the poor, we will agree that Beauty lies inside not outside.

Only when we know what real beauty is, we will understand what we see in the outside is just a projection. What matters is the character inside. Like how we see a jack-fruit as a hard and rough fruits outside, but a sweet and yummy piece of delight inside, it is true that “Beauty Lies in the Eye of The Beholder”.

Contributed by Pravin More, a student of our Public Speaking Course.

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