discipline Archives — NIMBLE FOUNDATION BLOG

7 Habits of highly Effective Conversationalists

‘How to be a better conversationalist?’ is a question that hovers in the mind of all socially aware people of the civilised society.

Besides, an interesting conversation is a very important business etiquette. The skills of effective face to face conversation enable you to build better relations at the workplace and in society. We converse day in and day out. So we must try to think back how often we are very interesting and how often we are not. There are certain rules which we need to keep in mind to develop our good business conversation habits. These are as follows:

1. Be present: When you are conversing with someone for fun or for business negotiation, you should be totally with him or her. A good conversationalist must be an active listener. You need to listen to understand and not to reply back. When you do that you will be more engaging in the conversation. You should not think about anything else; not about any past events nor any similar situations. You should only be listening to the person you are speaking to. While listening, you should be assimilating the information not to reply but to understand. In simple words first understand then only try to be understood.

2. No advice unless you are asked, please: Your conversation should not be just to vent out your opinions or to display that you know everything about the things that you are discussing.
It also does not mean that you should not participate in the conversation. You may hold a different opinion and also express the same decently in an inoffensive manner. Always keep in mind than an effective conversationalist need to be flexible, but, you should be. That can happen only if you listen and understand the other person properly and never interrupt anyone when he or she is speaking.

3. Ask open ended questions using what, how, where, when etc. If these are suitable to the person & situation when they answer these questions, they will be able to speak out in detail what they have in mind. They will be able to throw more light on the subject of conversation which will add to your knowledge and pat their ego. Don’t just ask questions for which the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’. That will not show that you are a good conversationalists.

4. Go with the flow and make the conversation a fun: You must first listen to the person talking and if at all you have to say something different from the current topic wait until the subject changes. Maintain a good sense of humour.
Besides, you need never be waiting for speaking out as soon as the speaker completes the sentence. In such an instance your mind will be only concerned with what you are going to speak. In the process you will not listen and you will not understand what the person just spoke.

5. If you don’t know, say it: You should never behave like “I know everything” even when you know much. One never knows all. Thus, if you are asked something and you don’t know simply say “I am sorry, I don’t know!” There is nothing wrong in that. In fact, I have never met anyone who knows everything. But I must admit that there could be people who show off as it they everything.

6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs: Now, if someone is sharing with you an experience and you also had a similar experience earlier, hold that back. Let the speaker enjoy telling/sharing his/her experience and then briefly only if necessary just in agreement you can say that yes this is true because you also experienced the same.
You should never rob him/her from sharing that interesting experience with you. A good conversationalist has a good sence of humour and makes the conversation enjoyable for everyone.

7. Don’t repeat yourself: Repetition in a conversation is extremely unwelcome. People will get bored and they will definitely think that it is not worth talking to you because you keep on repeating yourself. And many people do the same. Therefore try to think, observe and ensure that you never repeat the same thing over and over again.

Thus, one must listen, be more open and while speaking, should be brief. Verbosity kills the efficacy of the idea. Always use simple language and short sentences. Short sentences means one can vary the sentences between four words to twenty words. If you are using a sentence containing 20 words, you must pause in the middle just like you give commas in a written speech and not speak in one go. Develop a sense of humour to keep the conversation light.

Thanks for reading.

Is a Leader born or Leaders make themselves?

There has been always a debate whether the leader is born or they make themselves. There are many instances where a person born in a rich family or that of a leader but they failed miserably. It’s not that they cannot become leaders. But their birth does not guarantee that they will be leaders. There are no qualities which can be attributed towards the birth of the leader. On one side there are many examples where in spite of the advantage at birth people have not made any mark in their lives while on the other people born poor and deprived of all resources have made it big. While some can be held responsible for misusing all the opportunities the other create opportunities and leave a rich legacy.

An individual grows under influences. The influence of his/her parents is very important, and then teachers are important. They are also influenced by the friends, neighbors and the all they interact with. But no such influence is so dominant which can churn out a leader.
Leadership is acquired by choice. One becomes a leader when he/she is prepared to pay the price for leadership. Leadership does not come cheap. It requires your determination, your discipline, willingness to undertake hard work and more importantly consistency. It’s a strong desire and consistent effort to excel in any human ability which can create a leader.
There are many reasons why a leader must be consistent in his/her conduct, approach to life and belief and vision. Firstly the followers would feel secure under the guardianship only of a predictable consistent person. Secondly if the leader is not discipline he cannot control his behavior, attitude and even emotions. All these are responsible for the interpersonal skills of the leader. They may spoil the relationship by simple unpredictable mistakes. Besides, inconsistency wastes time of the leader as well as the follower. Above all if the leader is not consistent how can one expect the followers will be consistent. Indeed, nothing worthwhile can be achieved without consistency.
Now let’s look at the lives of some self-made leaders.
1. Andrew Carnegie the founder of Carnegie steel was born to poor parents in Scotland. Due to financial difficulties the family migrated to US. When he was 13 he was changing schools of threat in a Cotton mail- 12 hours a day. Going through various difficult jobs he finally became the owner of Carnegie Steel Corporation which was the largest in the world at that time.

2. Dhirubhai Ambani is another very well-known story. Initially it is said that he was doing small jobs in his village. He would also set up Bhajia stalls at village fairs. However his grit and strong desire to create something worthwhile enabled him to become the owner of one of the richest family in the world.

3. Walt Disney was a cartoonist. Often he was without job. Many a times he could not afford to buy a meal. Then he started animating his own cartoons. Our childhood without Walt Disney’s cartoon would have been dull. Today the entire world recognizes Disney for his contribution to society for entertaining children’s and adults both.

4. Mr. Soichor Honda the owner of Honda Company, In Japan is another example to support the statement that leaders are made and not born. When he grew up he wanted to work in a two wheeler factory but he could not get a job. He had undergone extremely hard times but his courage to face difficulties and his audacity to stick to his mission, enabled him to create Honda. We all know Honda today not only for the Motor Bikes but also for hot selling cars.

Thanks for reading.

Four Simple Steps to Develop Good Habit

If habits are stepping stones, their choice should be the outcome of reality’s and targets’ cognitive approach. Acharya Rajneesh once proclaimed that “I am less interested in your chain-smoking but more interested in your habit. Any habit that becomes a force, a dominating force over you, is a great sin. One should therefore live more in freedom. One should be able to do things according to the situations but not according to the habits”.

Control Your Thoughts

If you don’t learn to control your thoughts or opinions, you will never learn to control your behaviour and if you don’t learn to control your behavior, you will never be able to build good habits. Habit creates the appearance of justice and progress has no bigger enemy than habit.

Change your thoughts & Actions

If you want to replace the bad habits with the good one, you have to change your actions, thoughts, habits and start doing small things differently every day. Habit change happens when you start with small things. Moreover, if you want to build courage, then simply act courageously. If you do something over and over again, you build a habit. Some people develop the habit of courage whereas some people develop the habit of non-courage.

Don’t Play a Victim

People who consider themselves as a victim will rarely produce positive result. Instead you must utilise the given opportunities and turn out the difficulties into a driving force to make yourself and the world better. Mind control is the result of self-discipline and habit. You either control your mind or the mind controls you. There is no half way compromise.

Be Practical

And at last, you realize that you can’t force loyalty, consistency, or even honesty. You can’t force them to keep their word, or to communicate, or to realize something special is right in front of them. You can’t make someone to put up a fight for your heart or change his/her own ways. Take a step back and reflect if your relationship has turned into battlefield of harsh words, mixed emotions, and constant bickering, you must ask yourself whether it’s worth anymore.
It is estimated that up to 90% of our daily activities are habits. If you want to improve your time management, then you need to improve your habits. Never ever allow ‘waiting’ to become your habit. Be fearless, live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now and if you wait you tend to lose time. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Remember your first duty is to ‘Yourself’ but it doesn’t mean that you have to be selfish. But it is necessary to be strong, capable and competent so that you can help others too.
The act of discovering who we are, will force us to accept that we can move further than we think. Success is nothing but a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated everyday.
Always be yourself, respect yourself and have faith in yourself. Ensure to make plans and organize your discipline, thoughts, and devote attention to detail for creating something worthwhile but not for criticizing your own self. Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can’t get away with screwing people throughout your whole life. Don’t care about others identity, or what all the problems he/she undergoes around. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.
Motivation is what gets you started, and habit is what keeps you going. It’s quite important to keep moving. There is a powerful driving force inside every human being that once unleashed can make any dream, vision or desire a reality.
Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. Either way it is all about your choice. So choose the right habits that enrich your lifestyle!!
Thanks for reading.

Four Factual Feature of WILLPOWER

A Chinese Proverb says “Great Souls have wills ; feeble ones have only wishes .”
What exactly is meant by the word willpower or ‘will’?
Willpower is the ability of a person to decide and execute the course of action in detail to fulfill one’s wishes. It is the strong determination by which a person continuously strives to achieve one’s goals with dedication, especially, when caught in difficult times.
Psychologists have also termed this mysterious phenomenon called willpower as self control exerted to shrug off the inner resistance in the form of discomfort or laziness in order to hit the long term targets. Lack of strong willpower is one of the reasons for failure. Whether it is the goal to reduce weight , to quit smoking or to complete an arduous project, stupendous willpower is the key secret to achieve it!
The beauty of willpower is that one can work over it and increase it with a resolve. Let us see the essentials required behind cultivating and developing a strong willpower.

Clarity of Thought : Clear thinking is vital for setting specific goals in life. When we know our particular destination and our purpose to reach there is well defined, we chalk out a plan accordingly. Without clarity of thoughts, we tend to get diverted as we have no focus and are devoid of specific goal.

Napoleon Hill – There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants ,a nd a burning desire to possess it.

Discipline : “ It is fatal to enter any war without the ‘will’ to win it” -Douglas Macarthur

In order to cultivate a seed of willpower and to develop it further, it needs to be supplemented with the essential power of self discipline. Self Discipline is the strength to work towards one’s goals with perseverance and tolerance in order to accomplish those. Without self discipline one tends to give up to the temptations, inconvenience, hardships or obstacles which may come in the way to achieve your goals.

Strong desire : “Strong desire is the starting point of any achievement.”

Any successful accomplishment stems from the strong desire . Strong desire to fulfill one’s mission manifests itself into a disciplined plan and approach to achieve it. It increases one’s willpower to achieve one’s dream and fulfill wishes. The wishes remain wishes if not backed up with the fire of strong desire.

Great Emotional Intelligence : Emotionally intelligent people don’t lose course of action even in phase of extremely challenging circumstances. They are focused and thus, the willpower to achieve goals increases. They respond to the hurdles, obstacles and the difficult times in the same way as if there aren’t any. Emotional intelligence enables one to think logically when one encounters a pressure cooker type situation.It doesn’t let the odds interfere in your way towards success. Thus, with a great emotional intelligence one is always power packed with strong willpower . Success, then, is certainty.

James Gordon has quoted “ Its not that some people have willpower and some don’t . It is that some people are ready to change and others are not”.
Indeed! Willpower is a by -product of how much one can change oneself .
Your willpower is like a muscle. When you use it , it gets stronger. It is a habit when inculcated can lead to several success stories and vice versa. Every success story is an expression of strong willpower.
Henry Ford, who is known for his one of the successful car brands in the world , could achieve so given his firm grit and willpower.
Now let us see how strong willpower is a boon for a person.

It enables strong perseverance:- It enables one to continue the needful course of action decided upon at the beginning of the mission. Most importantly during difficult times. Persevering the goal is crucial to attain it.
It increases the focus:- With Strong willpower comes the focused attitude. One sticks to the plan even in case of odd circumstances. It is wise to starve your distractions and to feed your focus. With great focus comes a accomplishment.
It wards off the hesitations and the doubts if any:- When the willpower is augmented one tends to visualize the goal and hence there is no space left for the hesitations and doubts.
It enables to take calculated risks:- When one is backed with strong willpower, one takes calculated risk.

” If you risk nothing, then you risk everything”. -Geena Davis

It is the most essential ingredient to the most successful life:- With a strong and

positive willpower one can move mountains. But without the same one is helpless.
So, give the bird of wishes , the wings of magnificent willpower . You will definitely visualize the success soaring high.
Thank of Reading.

Three reasons why Blame Game is the worst!

Scenario 1:
1) An employee couldn’t submit the annual report on time. On enquiring he blamed the delay in work to the team’s noncooperation.
Many other commonplace scenarios occur in everyone’s life. And these are what we call as blame game.
So what exactly it means? Well, blaming others’ or situations for one’s own failures. This generally happens when one is not ready to take up responsibility of one’s failure because of ego or fear of criticism. Blame game means the activity by which one tries to identify the person or situation that can be made a scapegoat. In the above mentioned example the employee comfortably blamed the teammates for not co-operating with him. Sometimes the reasons are true but in most cases these are mere excuses one produces for hiding what one is incapable of doing. This makes them unsuccessful and then it becomes a habit.
Yes! Blame Game can become a habit if not consciously uprooted from one’s life!
And what does blame game indicate? The blame game is the game of timid. It comes easily to those who do not have courage to face life. Life poses several questions at various times. The people who are afraid of failures are the people who try to escape by blaming others. Life is two sided coin. It comes with the successful moments as well as failures. World hasn’t witnessed a person who hasn’t seen and experienced both. Then why to fear failure?
Winston Churchill once said,” Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm”!
Blame game is the worst played game which comes due to the following reasons:
1) Lack of courage: People who lack courage fear to face failures. They don’t want to take charge of something that they failed in. They want to shrug off the responsibility of failure and thus, they find an excuse for the failure. They blame the circumstances, the situations and many times other people who are involved in the project with them.
As the saying goes, “An inefficient workman always blames his tools”!
These gamers find excuses which would make them less responsible of the failure.
Certainly, the example quoted above is that of a blame game instead of an excuse. If people were not co-operating the employee could have arranged for a meet to discuss the issues!
People with courage often stand up for their failures. They analyze what went wrong in their efforts and if at all it is their mistake they accept it wholeheartedly. They are bold enough to accept their mistakes and learn from those for future projects. They firmly believe in the philosophy that “ In order to succeed in life you must first be willing to experience failure”!
2) Lack of Discipline: “The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets”!
Discipline is a must to succeed in life. If one doesn’t possess this virtue, he tends to play blame game when he fails. When one starts a project or a task one should be good at estimating the time it will take to complete the project. One needs lot of persistent efforts to finish the work in particular time.
Indiscipline interferes with the persistency of efforts and causes missing links which may not be connected again or may take longer to connect. This leads to loose ends and yes failure! One has to inculcate the habit of discipline in order to stop the worst game of blame game.
Discipline after all is knowing what needs to be done and doing the same when you actually don’t want to do it!
3) Procrastination: “Procrastination is like a credit card- It is fun until you get the bill”
And the price of procrastination is quite huge. Don’t put it off to tomorrow what you can do it today. People who like to blame others and situations for their failure are the ones who procrastinate the most. The tendency to avoid difficult work is the one which leads to procrastination of work. One needs to apply mind to difficult tasks at hand. One needs to manage time well, by prioritizing the activities one has. “Project prioritization matrix- Eisenhower matrix “ is a tool which can help anyone keep the track of importance of any activity based on its urgency. Once an activity gets delayed one may get entangled with other routine activity or countering an urgent task.
These are some of the reasons why one takes the rescue of blame game. One needs to change oneself and inculcate power of good habits. Habits change when one continuously works on them. It takes time but the self esteem it builds is totally worth it.
Thanks for reading.

How to be an Effective Leader:

In the competitive environment of today, it is essential for all Leaders (even if you lead one person) to be passionate and highly motivated. Leadership by hierarchy is no longer valid.
How to be an effective Leader? How to develop Leadership Qualities? What is the first step?
The first and foremost quality leaders must have is a passion for whatever they do? Doing anything half-heartedly does not work today. A passion for becoming an excellent public speaker could be the first step. A public speaker is like a performer, a stage actor – they eagerly desire to perform. Passion enables them to perform. They enjoy what they do, and their passion to do the same more and more wholeheartedly increases. Initial difficulties are eradicated and they become successful in their mission.
Furthermore, if a leader is passionate about a job, followers are likely to follow suit. Business becomes easier. Passion also helps to maintain enthusiasm which in turn is contagious. That should therefore be the foremost quality of an effective leader. Being a store house of energy. In fact, most of the time that people are away, they are at work. So if during the work you are enjoying and happy, life becomes very interesting and significant. One starts loving life. That is what Leaders do.

“Stay hungry; Stay foolish!” were the words of Steve Jobs which was the essence of his famous speech at the Stanford University. Hunger for knowledge can never be satiated. The more you learn, the more you desire to learn. Knowledge is endless. A good Leader’s hunger for knowledge should also be endless. That is what made Steve Jobs a most revered Leader in technology and business. Quest for knowledge makes you realize that you never know enough. Besides, this also helps in keeping your ego at bay. And growth comes as a by-product of your efforts to learn and to thwart ego.

The next important quality a Leader must have is discipline. If you are passionate and if you are hungry you will probably go on the right road of your destination. But the road is never smooth. It may have many hurdles which you have to overcome. Discipline teaches you to do something that needs to be done at a particular time. Sometimes you may like to do it, and sometimes you may not like to do it. But discipline motivates you to finish your task in both situations. As a Leader it is critical to have 100% commitment for your mission.
A Leadership Skills Development Workshop helps offer the right inputs which brings out the qualities of a Leader. For more information visit: http://nimblefoundation.org/leadership-skills.html
Thanks for reading.

No Leader is Born, Leaders are Made

There has been debate about whether the leader is born or he makes himself. There are many instances where a person born in a rich family or that of a leader but they failed miserably. It’s not that they cannot become leaders. But their birth does not guarantee that they will be leaders nor there are any qualities which can be attributed towards the birth of the leader. On the other side there are many examples where in spite of the advantage at birth people have not made any mark in their lives. In fact, they can be held responsible for misusing all the opportunities.

An individual grows under influences. The influence of his/her parents is very important, and then teachers are important. They are also influenced by the friends, neighbors and the all they interact with. But no such influence is so dominant which can churn out a leader.
Leadership is acquired by choice. One becomes a leader when he/she is prepared to pay the price for leadership. Leadership does not come cheap. It requires your determination, your discipline, willingness to undertake hard work and more importantly consistency. It’s a strong desire and consistent effort to excel in any human ability which can create a leader.
There are many reasons why a leader must be consistent in his/her conduct, approach to life and belief and vision. Firstly the followers would feel secure under the guardianship only of a predictable consistent person. Secondly if the leader is not discipline he cannot control his behavior, attitude and even emotions. All these are responsible for the interpersonal skills of the leader. They may spoil the relationship by simple unpredictable mistakes. Besides, inconsistency wastes time of the leader as well as the follower. Above all if the leader is not consistent how can one expect the followers will be consistent. Indeed, nothing worthwhile can be achieved without consistency.
Now let’s look at the lives of some self made leaders.
1. Andrew Carnegie the founder of Carnegie steel was born to poor parents in Scotland. Due to financial difficulties the family migrated to US. When he was 13 he was changing schools of threat in a Cotton mail- 12 hours a day. Going through various difficult jobs he finally became the owner of Carnegie Steel Corporation which was the largest in the world at that time.

2. Dhirubhai Ambani is another very well known story. Initially it is said that he was doing small jobs in his village. He would also set up Bhajia stalls at village fairs. However his grit and strong desire to create something worthwhile enabled him to become the owner of one of the richest family in the world.

3. Walt Disney was a cartoonist. Often he was without job. Many a times he could not afford to buy a meal. Then he started animating his own cartoons. Our childhood without Walt Disney’s cartoon would have been dull. Today the entire world recognizes Disney for his contribution to society for entertaining children’s and adults both.

4. Mr. Soichor Honda the owner of Honda Company, In Japan is another example to support the statement that leaders are made and not born. When he grew up he wanted to work in a two wheeler factory but he could not get a job. He had undergone extremely hard times but his courage to face difficulties and his audacity to stick to his mission, enabled him to create Honda. We all know Honda today not only for the Motor Bikes but also for hot selling cars.

Thanks for reading.