December 2016 — NIMBLE FOUNDATION BLOG

Ignoring as an alternative to Brawl!

Many a times we face situations when we are being ignored by people for whom we care. Likewise, it may happen the other way round. Let’s look at the various possibilities of you ignoring someone or being ignored. There could be many possibilities and different situations. Sometimes, it is not bad, while most of the times ignoring or being ignored badly hurts. In any case, it’s necessary not to ignore such situations. We must contemplate, analyze and then take necessary action. Some of the circumstances are as below:

You ignore someone – Reason?
Someone ignores you – Reason?
When ignoring is the best way to handle problematic situation?
Problems between husband and wife.
Bullies it the work place or in society.

Silence can be a person’s loudest cry. You know you have really hurt someone when they start ignoring you. It is worse than saying anything bad to you and is even worse than rebuking you. In other words, the feeling of being ignored is extremely disturbing.

When you are ignoring someone continuously, you are teaching him/her to live without you which is bad as you are creating a gap between yourself and the person whom you are ignoring, this may never be filled.

If anybody is ignored, it is very difficult for him/her to compromise with that idea. They will always wish that they could ignore the fact that they are being ignored.

A person may get a feeling of rather being said that they don’t like him/her instead of being ignored. Thus, one must never ignore anybody as it is very damaging and a worse feeling for the person who is being ignored.

Sometimes you ignore people not because you are mad at them but it may mean that they are not really important and worth your time. This is totally another way of thinking and worth resorting to at times. If you want to break a relationship, you start ignoring a person by all means which is needed depending on person to person and the situation.

You must let go those people who are ignoring you and your presence because you are not worth their time. But when someone is continuously ignoring you, it is better to forget about him/her.

Some people hurt you by words, some by their actions and some people hurt you by being silent. One gets hurt the maximum when someone ignores him/her even after they value that person the most. If you care for somebody and that person ignores you, is the worse feeling and one gets hurt the maximum due to this and is unable to tolerate the fact of being ignored.

When a person is ignored, he/she will start thinking that he wish he could ignore the person in return. Yet it may be very difficult.

Ignoring the signs is a good way to end up at the wrong destination. This means that if someone shows you the signs of being ignored by him/her, you should be prepared that you are in for a surprise and for something which you probably never wanted. Thus, it is said that ignoring the signs is a best way to end up at the wrong destination. If you ignore the milestones, it is not going to help you as you don’t know where you are going or heading to.

One example which comes to mind is totally different. Robert Browning’s saying in one of his poems highlights optimism. It goes “Take back the hope you gave, I claim, only a memory of the same”. Thus, you can ignore someone but can never change the memories that person brought into your life.

If someone is ignoring you, the best thing to do it to end the relationship and not to disturb them again .If you continue to approach that person and if he/she continues to ignore you then you should never go back to them as you are ultimately hurting yourself which should be realized as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading.

Your first duty is to ‘Yourself’

Ability to say no and not to say yes when you want to say no
Being assertive is defined as the ability to stand up for your own rights in a calm and positive way without being aggressive or submissive, accepting the wrong. There are many situations in our life that will want us to stand up for ourselves. Our duty to self should never be compromised for the happiness and satisfaction of others. We have to ensure that there arises no situation where we concede to others and later regret for our act. In today’s time , we would be crushed upon if we don’t stand up for ourselves.
Saying ‘No’ to someone is always considered to be rude behavior especially in our country. We feel that it is our duty to fulfill the requirements of our friends, relatives and any other acquaintances even if we have to forgo our comfort or routine. But this so called generosity and humility is laughed upon nowadays. It is high time we change our perception of helping others before helping ourselves.
When you take more care of others than yourself, you should not be called generous but foolish.

Indian culture and tradition were formed centuries ago when everyone was soft and straight minded. More than anything else, there was a sense of truth and virtue in their behavior. But, today the scenario has changed and people have no more time to ponder about the generosity and kindness we possess. All they care about is to get their work done as quickly and as easily possible. People have no time to appreciate our generosity but they all are ready to step on us and get their things done effortlessly. . So the most intelligent thing to do to survive in today’s world is to step out of the so called good shoes and take care of ourselves before we get into helping others.
One’s first duty is oneself
Love yourself and respect yourself is something that everyone keeps insisting on, but we should realize that it is one of our primary duty to take good care of ourselves. Nothing wrong should happen to us. We should always stand by our necessities and requirements before heading off to favour the people around us. It is not a justifiable act to put others needs before ours and in turn suffer because of it. This is not an act of selfishness but of good sense. We are not denying helping anyone in spite of being able to in a comfortable way but we just place our comfort and happiness first.
Assertiveness trains you how to say “No” diplomatically, without offending anyone.

The core idea of assertiveness is to say no to things you don’t support in a firm yet polite manner. Saying ‘No’ becomes a very tough thing only because it usually comes across as harsh and sharp. We have to learn the art of saying ‘No’ to things diplomatically and in such a manner that the other person feels that you are genuine in saying no. The entire process of opposing other’s views become simple. We should always remember to maintain a calm yet firm tone when we say ‘No’ to others. Thus, they don’t feel offended by it. But they should know that they cannot negotiate further on that issue. Similarly we should openly express the reasons behind our difficulties in helping them out as there is a high possibility that they would understand and the entire process becomes smooth. We offend a person only when we say things bluntly and on a sharp note. If we could just put the same thing in a diplomatic, polite manner and with a friendly touch then things will fall in place automatically.
Generosity should not befool us

There is only a thin line drawn between favoring someone and being fooled by them. We should make sure that we are generous enough for people to be happy about and not go around laughing at us. This is the reason we should always priorities ourselves first and then help others. If we go on helping others without caring about our wellbeing, then we will always be ladder on which others climb on to become successful. We should be in a situation where, we have nothing to lose if we help others and this will lead us to be intelligently generous.
It is essential for us to remember that overloaded generosity may add up in our book of good deeds but it certainly is not the formula for success in today’s highly competitive world.
Thanks for reading.

Courage to Continue Denotes Success

The word success as defined in the dictionary means “ the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” . True as it is but definition of the word success changes from person to person. Every individual’s definition of success is different. And why Not? We all have different aims, objectives, goals and purpose of life. And accomplishment of those would mean SUCCESS
to each one of us. Though there is no common definition of success many successful people have presented their views on success. Let us now understand what success meant to them and how best we can add to our success from their experiences.
A writer, statesman and a leader as he was Winston Churchill who has contributed immensely to the Britain’s victory in World War II has quoted that
“Success is not final, Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts”. Isn’t it true? Many people think that if you fail at something , it is the end of your life. The suicidal stories you hear after the academic results are declared clearly indicate people’s
attitude towards failure. The quote mentioned above re instills the value of courage to continue the effort in spite of several failures. In short, perseverance is one of the keys to success.
When one wants to achieve something one should turn deaf ears to what people say about your endeavors . Because as the quote goes,” At first they will ask why you are doing it ;But later they will ask How did you do it?
Yes, this is especially important for the people who are torch bearers. Torch bearers are people who attempt to tread the less taken path and are the first ones to do so. When you are pursuing something different and novel, skeptic people always try to ask the validity of such pursuit. Well, if you are convinced about your effort and are ready to give in your hundred percent you will be successful at it. And then the same people would ask you the ways in which you tried to achieve such an untapped feat.
Life is a mix of good and bad times. We are successful sometimes and sometimes we do fail. The most important thing in life is to “Be thankful for hard times as they have made you.” Hard times are testing times. Failures should be visualized as a lesson. I t is rightly said,” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”! Every struggle to get successful will make you wiser and stronger.
While achieving success it is important that you put your heart , mind and soul into excelling at what you have undertaken. If needed you have to sacrifice a lot in order to achieve something great. Swami Sivananda has rightly pinpointed the secret of success. He
quotes ,” Put your heart , soul and mind into even your smallest acts”. It is also very evident that there is no shortcut to success. It is well known that there is “No elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” Hard work in proper direction definitely yields success. ease everybody.
Success is a result of focus, hard work, learning from failure , loyalty and persistence .Indeed when you strives to excel at certain thing you are bound to be successful. When you balance your hard work with persistence and loyalty the end result will be none other than SUCCESS.
Nelson Mandela quotes” Don’t judge me by success but how many times I fell down and got back again”. If you have persevering attitude in life, nothing can stop you from being successful. Perseverance is a factor which differentiates between success and failure.
Success is , thus, relative to each individual. Unfortunately, many people don’t have goals at any time in life. Life is very short and the most important thing in life to be successful is to set some goals. What is a life without goals? People misconstrue goals to be only related to career and finances.
Well, negating that opinion you can categorize goals as:

Career goals,
Financial goals,
Health goals,
Family goals and
Goals for society
Hobby Goals
And Spiritual Goals

You have to take charge and set goals for yourself. The priority of goals would differ from person to person. You may feel family and health goals are more important than the rest of the goals. An ambitious person may prioritize on career and financial goals. Hobby goals are the goals which are meant for yourself satisfaction. Society plays an important role in everyone’s life. You should also set some goals which will benefit the society. It is a way to give back to the society where you belong.
Maslow’s pyramid of self motivation has the self actualization need at the top of it! Spiritual goals help achieve that need of a person.
While setting up goals make sure that your goals are SMART.
SMART Goals mean
S- Specific
M-Measurable
A-Achievable
R-Realistic
T-Time bound
Well, to achieve success be specific about what you want to achieve. The goals should have some yardstick against which you can measure your success. You should always have realistic goals and not unbelievable ones.
An example of setting a goal could be “ I want to reduce my weight by 1.5 kgs in a matter of 15 days. Once you do that you can start working over it by chalking out a plan and then executing the same.
Always check on what you have achieved against what you wanted to achieve And keep on bridging the gap, if any. When diligently persevered, success becomes a habit!!
Thanks for reading.

7 Habits of highly Effective Conversationalists

An interesting conversation is very important business etiquette. It’s also critical for relations building. We converse day in and day out. So we must try to think back how often we are very interesting and how often we are not. There are certain rules which we need to keep in mind to develop our good business conversation habits. These are as follows:

Be present: When you are conversing with someone for fun or for business negotiation, you should be totally with him or her. You should not think about anything else; not about any past events nor any similar situations. You should only be listening to the person you are speaking to. While listening, you should be assimilating the information not to reply but to understand. In simple words first understand then only try to be understood.
No opinions unless you are asked, please: Your conversation should not be just to vent out your opinions or to display that you know everything about the things that you are discussing.
It also does not mean that you should not participate in the conversation. You a have the right to differ, but, you should be doing that with elegance, grace and poise. That can happen only if you listen and understand the other person properly.
Make others talk: Ask open ended questions using what, how, where, when etc. When they answer these questions, they will be able to speak out in detail what they have in mind. They will be able to throw more light on the subject of conversation which will add to your knowledge and pat their ego. Don’t just ask questions for which the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Go with the flow: You must first listen to the person talking and if at all you have to say something different from the current topic wait until the subject changes.
Besides, you need never be waiting for speaking out as soon as the speaker completes the sentence. In such an instance your mind will be only concerned with what you are going to speak. In the process you will not listen and you will not understand what the person just spoke.
If you don’t know, say it: You should never behave like “I know everything” even when you know much. One never knows all. Thus, if you are asked something and you don’t know simply say “I am sorry, I don’t know!” There is nothing wrong in that.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs: Now, if someone is sharing with you an experience and you also had a similar experience earlier, hold that back. Let the speaker enjoy telling/sharing his/her experience and then briefly only if necessary just in agreement you can say that yes this is true because you also experienced the same.
You should never stop or rob him/her from sharing that interesting experience with you.
Don’t repeat yourself: Repetition in a conversation is extremely unwelcome. People will get bored and they will definitely think that it is not worth talking to you because you keep on repeating yourself. And many people do the same. Therefore try to think, observe and ensure that you never repeat the same thing over and over again.

Thus, one must listen, be more open and while speaking, should be brief. Verbosity kills the efficacy of the idea. Always use simple language and short sentences. Short sentences means one can vary the sentences between four words to twenty words. If you are using a sentence containing 20 words, you must pause in the middle just like you give commas in a written speech and not speak in one go. Develop a sense of humour to keep the conversation light.
Thanks for reading.

All about stress

What is stress?
Stress is not about what happens to us it’s our response towards it. But responding towards the happenings is solely our choice because happenings cannot be chosen. In simple terms, the adverse reaction of people to the excessive pressure or the types of demands placed on them is called stress.
What are the causes of stress?
People cause stress
The people in your life must be a source of reducing your stress levels not causing it. Never stress yourself with people who don’t deserve to be an issue in your life. Therefore identify the people causing stress in your life and as much as possible avoid their company.
Clutter- the enemy
Clutter is one such thing that causes stress undoubtedly. Clutter is been described as one of the main barriers of productivity. Avoiding the clutter depends on us. If we have an ability to control clutter, it would automatically get cleansed of. So, under any circumstances never let clutter overrule oneself. Go a mile extra to see there is no clutter in your staple, wardrobe, house, mind or people around you. Follow the simple rule that “there should be place for everything and everything should be in place”.
Work causes stress
Work related stress is an international problem. Long hours of work cause stress in a person. According to the international stress management association, 70% of adults are stressed at work which translates into the loss of 13 million working days every year to stress caused in UK government.
Inability to discover real nature
The major stress causing element is the inability of people to discover their real nature. Hence, discover your gifts and follow them you will never feel stressed at any phase of life.
Excessive pressure
The excessive pressure or the types of demands placed on oneself causes stress. Any imbalance towards the demands that exceed the level of one’s ability causes stress.
Situations cause stress
We panic and find ourselves stressed during certain situations. Blowing something out of proportions or giving it sinister qualities that the situation doesn’t possess, anticipating the situation that is never likely to occur and not giving enough informative response about something or vice-versa causes stress.
Symptoms of stress
How do we recognize that we are under stress? You can find how stressed you are with certain physical signs, physical symptoms, mental or emotional behavior, negative thoughts etc. Have a look at the below given major symptoms of stress.
Nervous/breakdown
One of the symptoms of stress is approaching nervous, breakdown and the belief that one’s work is terribly important. Yes, things are important but our life and health are the two most important treasure of a human being. Therefore, give importance, focus upon and give your best.
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder accounts for the symptoms of ADHD. This disorder causes the kids to suffer from inattentiveness, anxiety, depression and learning disorders.
Act of violence
Act of violence includes beating up your beloveds, extreme anger, harming people without any cause and lots more.
What happens when your stressed?
Our everyday worries differ from those of our ancestors. Even simple traffic jams, financial problems and other simple problems can trigger the stress levels in one’s body. In scientific terms, the response to the responsibility of body to two difficult situations or challenging situations is called stress.
Major disturbance takes place in different parts of the body due to stress namely brain, mouth, muscles, blood circulation, lungs, stomach, bladder, eyes, digestive contractions, skin, etc. many experience excessive sweating or dry mouth.
For example, when we are caught into a threat our bodies release a variety of chemical messengers and the hormones such as adrenaline, non-adrenaline and cortisol. These chemical messengers act rapidly and oxygen is pumped faster into our bodies.
Due to this, our brains and muscles receive an extreme supply of blood diverted from other areas. This physical reaction taking place internally boosts the thinking process that serves our insistence on whether to fight, or to divert or to run away from the threat.
The effects of stress
One must have a close watch on the changes and happening taking place in oneself. Recognizing the early warnings or signs of stress can help oneself get out of stress at the first stage. Below there are early warnings/effects of stress:

Over reacting
Impulsive behavior
Inability to concentrate
Irritability
Short temper

How to overcome stress?
“Is stress going to help me? If not why am I stressed?” Sit back and rethink about this question. Stress has the power to ruin your relationship with family, beloveds, friends, etc. Being in stress causes depression and worries.
We can change stress of its repetition. Adopting the right attitude can convert your negative stress into a positive phase. Stress is defined as the gap between expectation and reality. More the gap, more the stress. Hence, expect nothing accept everything.
An antidote for stress is self-expression. Express your individuality. Discover your real nature. Discover your gifts and follow them you will never feel stressed at any phase of life. Never let your power packed personality die at any circumstances.
“Today I refuse to stress myself about anything. I desire to live my life without stress and without worries. I don’t desire to be world famous. I just want to be happy.” Live your life with this simple thought and you will have a stress-free life thereafter.
Being in stress or otherwise is a self-made choice!!
Thanks for reading.

7 Reasons for Respecting Others

Respect is a key element for creating a good bond between people, whether it is family, friends, work zone or any other surrounding.
One of the best ways to respect is to listen. Listen to what the person is trying to say. First listen, then understand, then say something if you have something to say. Listen to understand, not to reply. Sometimes, you may not understand what that person is trying to say or express. But respecting them by listening to their words might be excellent for them. It may not be anything to you, but for them it could be everything.
We owe respect and give love. If someone has done something nice to us, then we owe them respect. We need to thanks them. But love is without expectation.
If you have done something good, then you need not beg for respect and compromise your dignity. Remember, respect is for those who deserve it, not those who demand it.
Show respect to people who don’t deserve it, not as their character’s reflection but of yours. Show them how you treat them.
Sometimes, the way people treat you is your own reflection. They just show us the mirror. So, treat them the way you want them to treat you. It’s a give and take business. Give respect earn respect.
But, is respecting others the only thing? The answer is – NO. While respecting others, you have to create respect for yourself. First respect yourself. The person who doesn’t respect himself can’t expect respect from others. The famous scientist Albert Einstein has once said, “Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.”

Thanks for reading.

Demonetization

What is Demonetization?
Demonetization takes place whenever there is a change of national currency. It is the act of striping the currency unit of its status as legal tender. This move requires the old unit of the currency of a nation to be discharged and replaced with a new currency unit.
Why governments resolve to demonetize the currency?
There are multiple reasons why governments demonetize their local unit of currency. Major reasons include to combat inflation, combat corruption and to discourage the cash system.
How does it happen?
The demonetization process involves either introducing new currency notes or coins of the same currency or completely replacing the whole currency with new currency. The effect of demonetization will be massive in many markets where payment of cash is mandatory and major forms of profit is taking place in terms of money.
The expected benefits of demonetization in a democracy

On long-term basis the government’s decision to control black money, may result in the reduction of corruption and bring transparency into the sector.
The move will benefit the poor, the middle class and aspirational middle class and will upsurge the opportunity thereby, bringing in real estate and higher education within their reach.
Investment in gold and jewels will increase as trust on currency will gradually go down.
Funding for arms, smuggling and terrorism will take a setback.
The lower and middle class will not find it tough to account for or exchange the currency.
Direct and indirect tax can be expected to take a raise.
More digital transaction will take place.
Reduction in parallel economy will increase the size of formal economy.

Indian government’s move and announcement on 8^th November 2016
On the 8^th of November 2016, the Indian government decided to demonetize the 500 and 1000 rupee notes. These notes accounted upto 86% of the country’s cash supply. The government’s aim was to eradicate counterfeit currency, fight tax evasion, eliminate black money acquired from money laundering and terrorist financing activities and to promote a cashless economy.
By making the larger denomination notes worthless, the individuals and entities that own huge sum of black money that had been acquired from parallel cash systems were mandated to convert the money at a bank which is by law required to collect tax information from the entity. If the entity is lacking with proof regarding the tax payments made on the cash, a tax penalty of 200% was imposed. This move is expected to bring more transaction under the tax net.
What have been the fallouts?
The government’s move is bold in its intent and massive in its measure while the intent is clear the implementation and impact isn’t worth it. The fallouts of demonetization is as follows

The move led to the slowdown of the Indian economy.
With the emerging cashless transaction situation, the government and the businesses will have the necessity to guard against cyber-attacks.
The demonetization effect had caused severe inconvenience to common people.
This move deeply impacts the working sections dependent on monthly or bi-monthly cash payments.
The small businesses will be affected at least in the shorter run.
Black money in the form of foreign currency and gold would be eliminated from the move and stashed away in tax havens.

How does it impact on property and gold prices?
Land and property prices particularly those of luxury homes are likely to fall in the short and medium term. Unorganized builders and secondary property market would be adversely impacted. There may be a short-term impact on the gold prices. Initially the gold prices may fall but gradually it would get back to its normal market value.
Conclusion:
The ban on high denomination of currency has the potential to dramatically rise up the volumes of electronic transaction. To protect this, there is an instant need for the banks to be proactive on their information security and reinforce their IT infrastructure against the potential cyber-attacks. With more electronic transactions and monitored cash disburser, the government will have greater control on who has access to money.
The demonetization move will force the people to disclose their income and pay taxes. This will lead India to be a more tax-complaint society!!
Thanks for reading.

Foremost Cause of Failure is Poor Communication

What is communication? How can we define it? First of all let’s understand it’s origin and it’s meaning. Communication is derived from the Latin word “communis” meaning to share something or hold in common. Communication can be defined in following ways:

Communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, thoughts, speech, signals, writing or behavior. First, let’s try to answer the most pertinent management question. What is important in motivating people, forming a successful team, getting all your work done? Answer is simple. Successful communication skills! It demands efforts, it needs motivation. Motivational speaker, Tony Robin stated that for effective communication we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive. So we must respect each other’s perspective, then only we would lead to a successful communication.

Arguing is not communication. It is noise. But responding without understanding is also not communication. We all have our own choice to say yes or no. That choice is the medium of communication. If you express that answer politely then only you can have an effective communication. “You should know how to present your point in front of others. There should be no chance of confusion with you.”

Winston Churchill said “it is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip”. If you qualify telling even rude words in such a way that they turn to as good words for the listener than you are the master of communication. This is how communication impacts the world.

In today’s fast going world one needs to understand the importance of connecting with others and the ways to do so. Most of us take the meaning of word communication as verbal conversation. Does it mean only verbal communication? No, it’s half the statement. Communication can be verbal, nonverbal or the body language. It simply states that in today’s world what is said is important but what is not said is equally important, Even the hidden objective is taken into consideration. Communication skills are of more importance than anything else, as it holds the personality of a person. As the old saying says that there is a large difference in the word ‘having something to say and having to say something’. They look similar but meaning of both is different.

Content, being the king in communication, plays a major role in changing the whole personality. Here again who takes the hold of audience or the listeners? More patient the audience more is your benefit. But understanding audience is critical. They can understand even what you have not spoken. You might be thinking what is the difference? Difference is as clear. The one who understands what you have not spoken is living in the present. He is there with his mind and soul in what you are doing. Your communication skills including verbal, nonverbal and your body language play a vital role here. So if the listener is impressed by your communication skills then only he will be active in the process and further interaction or communication is possible.

It’s not one way process. It is open and two way path. It can be either the speaker affects the listeners by asking questions, seeing to his body language or understanding him/her, can be the other way round also. Again a question arises on the lifestyle which you are living. Are you satisfied with it? Is your concentration level upto the mark to meet the present day requirement? Or you are still in some dreams while a lecture or another topic has started?

Today’s requirement demands near 100% accuracy and concentration for a wonderful and beneficial communication. The famous Management Consultant, Peter Drucker has stated that most important thing in communication does, understand what is not said. Observing this way, you can understand the full concept of what is being spoken. Hence communication is not defined by its effectiveness but the response of effectiveness. Audience plays a major role no matter it is one or many. Until and unless communication serves the purpose of the listeners, it is of no use. A well said quote will completely set your minds to it. “Communication is dream more – compare less, listen more – talk less, love more – argue less, hope more – fear less, relax more – worry less, believe more – complain less, play more – work less.”

These quotes can be taken as the steps to a successful communication. Author of the book ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, Stephen Covey has well said that often people have character strength but they lack communication skills. And that affects the quality of relationships. Generation gap is the best example to support the above statement.

Communication must not be complicated. It may not use very extensive vocabulary, it may be as simple but as clear as possible. If ideas are not drawn into action, they just turn to be simple paper work. Only with the help of communication skills ideas can turn the dreams to a reality.

Taste your words before you spit them out

Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. … It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive anger can cause problems – American Psychological Association
The definition of anger changes from country to country, while in America, it is a way to express negative feelings, in India, as the culture goes, it is always advised to avoid anger.
The ancient Indian wisdom believes in not getting affected by people’s actions or reactions. Among the six enemies (Shad-Ripu) of human being, anger is one of the top most one. In Indian scenario, it is told to manage anger using different techniques. One such effective technique is meditation.
The question is all people do not get angry to the same extent, it majorly depends upon person’s temperament and the factors that affect him internally. But as per Indian ethos, anger has to be avoided, if you cannot avoid anger then the mind has to be trained in order to manage or control it. Because it hurts you more than anyone else and can lead to worst situations. It can even lead to a disastrous outcome.
“Anger is just one letter short of danger. “
If you are angry, you are likely to get into a dangerous zone. The non thinking, reacting zone is very tempting while you are angry which may cause enormous harm to body and mind.
“Sometimes I get to a point of frustration that I just become silent.” Gorgeous Glendy
Getting silent while having a turmoil inside your heart is always dangerous. A turmoil may cause mental trouble and thereby impairing the capacity to think over an issue. As long as the silence helps you analyze the situation after a bout of frustration, it is a good sign. Finding out solution after understanding and analyzing the issue behind frustration is one of the processes of anger management.
If you study history of your anger you will find that there are some similarities to the situations which make you angry. Just because you are angry doesn’t mean that you can be cruel, which applies to parents and their behavior with their children. Parental cruelty laws are so strong in United States of America that parents will never do any kind of harm to their children, in case of any harm parents can be jailed. Some laws related to parental cruelty are here in India too but their application to different scenario is very less.
Forgive people in your life, even those who are not sorry for their actions.
In your circle there may be different types of people with different temperament and different cultural understandings. Keeping these three aspects in mind, and giving enough considerations, it is easy to forgive people even if they are not sorry for their actions. The educational background of the people you are dealing with also plays an important role. The exposure which they have got to the worldly situations may make them act in certain way hurting you unnecessarily, for this you have to analyze the situation and then forgive generously. Reacting would not help, acting wisely would help.
Holding onto anger, having a grudge is going to hurt you not them. Forgiving but not forgetting the wrong doing of the concerned person may prevent you from doing similar mistakes. People don’t change and if you make them feel that you forgive their wrong doings easily, the possibility is that they may take you for granted.
In situations like this you have to be assertive. Being assertive means expressing yourself without hesitation. Also acting, not reacting angrily. It is worthwhile to keep in mind that when you react, you loose your mind, when you act you use your mind.
“Make your anger so expensive that people can’t afford it, make your happiness so cheap that people can almost get it free”
Nothing should deter you or shake you, it should be very difficult for people to make you angry. But if you are happy all the time, people will come closer to you to share your happiness which is a win win situation for you.
Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.
This is one of the best ways to be alert while being in a situation which can make you angry. Always think of words which you are going to speak especially in provoking situation. The tongue has been made very strong by lord almighty, any wound on the tongue gets healed fast but the wounds tongue creates by speaking cannot be healed forever.
“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” – Budhdha
Your anger is an emotion, which has a very natural occurrence in your body, mind and soul. But if it stays for a longer time, it will punish you. The balance which generally exists between mind, body and soul can be totally disturbed by anger, which may prove dangerous over a course of time. So it is better to count 10 when you are angry to avoid the usage of harsh words and to avoid tossing the metal balance, at the whim of your emotion. It is foolish to expect someone suffer from your anger. As a famous saying goes,
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Budhdha
Never reply when you are angry, never make a promise when you are happy. Never make decision when you are sad.
If there is a situation where there is a negotiation and you get angry, just stop and say that you will come back on that point instead of speaking. This will prevent you from unnecessary stress and tension which may arise out of the discussion.
Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
The mind thinks 10 times faster, when you are angry you speak without thinking.
Anger hurts therefore it is good to try and manage it effectively.
Analyze the reasons. Think about situations in the past when you became angry. Identify similarity of some reasons when you become angry. Understanding the bodily signs like perspiration, palpitations, throbbing headaches while being angry help you to prevent similar situations. Stop and think, think and speak, if there is a situation which is not so good, stop and think, repeat to yourself, take deep breath, slow breathing would make you feel better. All meditation techniques help ease out anger and makes you a calmer person overall. Practicing meditation is one of the prime solutions for winning over anger.
An advice:
ACT Never REACT.
When you ACT you use your mind when you REACT you loose your mind.
Thinking and Speaking is acting, avoiding reaction is always better.
If you practice this, keep on observing the situations, there would be a lot of improvement.
Remind yourself that Life is a continuous game, life is a continuous learning.
Thanks for reading.

2 Faces of the same coin – Jealousy

Jealousy
A soap opera telecasted on a South Korean TV channel called “Jealous Incarnate” depicts that jealousy is a part and parcel of human personality. Yes, jealousy is interconnected with the human emotions, thoughts and feelings and it occurs due to insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection. In short, the resentment against rival success is called jealousy.
Many people fall prey to this negative emotion. A recent study shows that insecurity and inferiority complex is the main aspect behind jealousy. And person who suffers with these feelings tends to have jealousy.
Jealousy has two faces. The first face is that you are jealous of somebody and the second face is that you are getting disturbed just because someone else is jealous of you. In both the cases, analysis of the problem is required. Let’s now witness the opinions stated by certain individuals regarding jealousy.
Quotes on jealousy
As expressed by some individuals “ Jealousy indicates the lack of self-confidence in oneself”. As it is already stated above “It is a kind of hatred built upon insecurity”. “When you develop a hatred for a person, then they possess something which you are in need of. If a person hates you then you possess something which they are in need of” is a definition given by another set of individuals for jealousy.
There’s another saying which goes like this “Never hate a person who is jealous of you instead respect their jealousy towards you because they are the ones who consider you better than themselves”. But it isn’t quite agreeable that one should respect the jealousy shown on them because out of jealousy the person can execute something that is harmful. Therefore you need to have an eye on your interest.
There was a movie last back in 70’s titled “Blow Hot Blow Cold”. The story isn’t important but the climax matters. The climax was set in an idyllic natural background in which there were 2 couples. One couple was young and the other one was middle aged. The young couple were passionately making love and at that point of time the middle aged man is shown to be extremely jealous. And in the climax the middle aged man kills the young man due to jealousy. Hence, jealousy can go to the extent of committing a crime. Therefore, we cannot afford to forgive or forget the people who are jealous and it is advisable to be cautious about them.
Some people say “I don’t give people a reason to hate me, but they create their own drama out of jealousy”. This is absolutely true. Even though you aren’t in a need to attract the jealousy of the people around you, still there are people jealous of you. There is a low-key comment given by individuals on jealousy “Never flaunt anything. You are giving a reason for others to get jealousy.”
As it is explained above we cannot respect the person who is jealous and we have to be watchful over them. Likewise, it isn’t logical how a person can be unhappy and unsatisfied in their life that they have to illustrate a drama just to get noticed among the crowd. Yes, it’s very true that many people are unhappy in their life and it’s due to various reasons. Consequently, they find out an exhaust. They vent out there bottled-up feelings and suffer from jealousy.
The next set of individuals, are those who were close to you once upon a time have now become just invert strangers. For example, there are two friends. Whereas one becomes rich and feels below his dignity to approach his poor friend and acts like he doesn’t recognize him. And even if they pass on the same ground and face each other, they will pose as though they haven’t met each other in their
lifetime. This is so true and everybody would have come across this situation atlaest once in a lifetime.
Another group of people are the people who are intimidated by you. Hence they start badmouthing about you with an expectation that others don’t find you appealing. Yes, they don’t wish the other people or the common friends, associates or relatives to like you. So, therefore they badmouth you in whatever way possible.
Conclusion
Jealousy is indeed the worst characteristic in any person but the fact is that every human at one point of time experience jealousy. Jealousy may create problems or conflicts for the people on whom they are jealous with. You may not be jealous of others but on the other side you shouldn’t show magnanimity simply to please others so that they don’t create any harm to you. Instead you need to
find your own ways to guard yourself and be cautious.
Jealousy is a disease. If it has infected you, then get well soon!!
Thanks of Reading.