What is depression? Often, a demanding situation creates a confusion. It causes mental stress, physical stress and also psychological stress. When a person is not able to cope up with the stress created by these difficult situations he or she falls into depression. It is a state when the person the starts feeling that there is no way out for them. Life appears to be difficult and spirit of hopelessness prevails. In such circumstances the person becomes a pessimist and feels that there is no solution to their problems. In such a hopeless situation the victim finds that life is the absolutely meaningless. In extreme cases the victim also thinks of ending the life by committing a suicide.
1. What are the physical symptoms of such a state?
The person does not feel like eating anything. Appetite is totally lost. Even if the victim was fond of eating or a foodie, they will no longer like to eat anything. The interest of food is lost because of the depression.The second indication is that the person keeps on brooding on the same spot again and again. The mind does notwork creatively anymore. Old problems appear to be very large and solutions not to be seen. Even if the victim was fond of music, in the state of depression he or she will not like to listen to music ,State of hopelessness becomes a sea of trouble and it is difficult to come out of it.
2.Once, we understand the state of depression or what is depression, it is necessary to find out the reasons.
Each person may have different reasons. Some of them maybe common but in order to work out the solution, it is necessary to understand the specific reasons which have pushed the victim into depression. For students, it could be classroom difficulties, something that has happened in the school, in the class or among peers. The peer pressure takes its toll and often creates an unwanted and undesirable pressure. Likewise, for an executive, it can be a boardroom pressure. If a person knows something but he is not able to explain for whatever reasons, he comes under pressure. Some people are able to adjust to these situations or to difficult people, while others are not able to do so. Further, pressure can also be caused by inadequate social interaction. If there is not sufficient trust among the spouses and each tries to hide certain things even that can create a pressure.
3.Studies have revealed that US is the most depressed country.
She is followed by Columbia, Ukraine, Netherlands and France. Survey reveals that rich are more depressed than the poor. Events of life are important to create an impact on the psyche of a person. While there are less variations in the life of the poor the same can be alarming among the people who are opulent.Further, depression can also be caused due to some infirmities in the personality. Some people are over emotional. They may also be negative thinkers. The negative attitude of a person surely takes him towards depression. It is necessary, therefore to ensure that the attitude of a person is appropriate to correct the shortcoming.
4. Depression can also be a serious medical problem.
The person who continuously worries also finds the life a burden. His hopes are Diminished. His desire to do something creative dies out. Not able to do anything imaginative, the person feels useless and therefore the depression aggravates.
5. Finally, we must talk about how to come out of depression.
The first important thing is that one must maintain a proper regime of exercise. Exercise helps. Next in importance is sleep.One need to sleep 7 to 8 hours daily. If one does not go to gym or have any kind of rigorous exercise, just a morning walk for about half an hour is also found very useful.It is also necessary to he eat healthy food. Junk food or fried and spicy food create indigestion which in turn reflects in ones energy level. It also reduces mental alertness. The healthy food includes lot of fiber. It is found in fruits and vegetables. One needs to take a lot of salad along with the cereals.
6. Keeping a aloof and being lonely
Can be another cause for depression. Man is a social animal and it is necessary that we should mingle with others. When we interact with others we exchange ideas which makes moments interesting. On the other side if you remain alone, you keep on brooding which does not create any imaginative environment. And finally one can gain strength of character by reading the books of the great leaders. Abraham Lincoln the most respect of U.S president is a great example. He failed in business, public life, lost his beloved in young age ,did become a mental
wreck but came out as a winner due to his resilience and positive altitude. so we must be resilient. These and such other examples are enough to convince us that we ourselves are not too bad. The self esteem which might have gone down returns because there is a ray of hope.
Today, when there is so much of information available on all human emotions and the reasons thereof, no one has any right or reason to be unhappy. Actually earlier too, there was never a reason for people to be unhappy. Abraham Lincoln said in the early 19th century that ‘most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ However at that time there was no internet, literature was scanty and hardly available. Today, with the internet all the information and the images that one may require to collect about happiness, are easily available. Vikram a student of 6th standard volunteered to collect the relevant information and the images on ‘how to be happy’. I reproduce the material collected by Vikram in about half an hour. When I went through it, I found that anyone who would spend some time to read the knowledge collected by Vikram and see the pictures again collected by him should be never unhappy. He informed me that he collected the pictures from Google images. Further, he collected the entire written material from Wikipedia. Please spend some time to look at the pictures and also a few minutes on reading the text which he collected from Wikipedia.
A smiling Rebecca L. Felton Research has produced many different views on causes of happiness, and on factors that correlate with happiness, but no validated method has been found to substantially improve long-term happiness in a meaningful way for most people.
Sonja Lyubomirsky concludes in her book The How of Happiness that 50 percent of a given human’s happiness level is genetically determined (based on twin studies), 10 percent is affected by life circumstances and situation, and a remaining 40 percent of happiness is subject to self-control.
The results of the 75 year Grant study of Harvard undergraduates show a high correlation of loving relationship, especially with parents, with later life wellbeing Psychologist Martin Seligman asserts that happiness is not solely derived from external, momentary pleasures, and provides the acronym PERMA to summarize Positive Psychology’s correlational findings: humans seem happiest when they have
1. Pleasure (tasty food, warm baths, etc.),
2. Engagement (or flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity),
3. Relationships (social ties have turned out to be extremely reliable indicator of happiness),
4. Meaning (a perceived quest or belonging to something bigger), and
6. Abraham Harold Maslow, an American professor of psychology, founded humanistic psychology in the 1930s. A visual aid he created to explain his theory, which he called the hierarchy of needs, is a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological, and physical. When a human being ascends the steps of the pyramid, he reaches self-actualization.
7. Beyond the routine of needs fulfillment, Maslow envisioned moments of extraordinary experience, known as peak experiences, profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, during which a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient, and yet a part of the world. This is similar to the flow concept of Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.
1. Richard Davidson‘s 2012 bestseller The Emotional Life of Your Brain argues that positive emotion and happiness benefit your long-term health. From a study conducted in 2005 by Andrew Steptow and Michael Marmot, findings have found that happiness is clearly related to biological markers that play an important role in health.
2. At University College London, Steptow and Marmot collected health and well-being data from 116 men and 100 women. All 216 participants were middle-aged, British civil servants between the ages of 45 and 59. The researchers aimed to analyze whether there was any association between well-being and three biological markers: heart rate, cortisol levels, and plasma fibrinogen levels. Interestingly, the participants who rated themselves the least happy had cortisol levels that were 48% higher than those who rated themselves as the most happy. The least happy subjects also had a large plasma fibrinogen response to two stress-inducing tasks: the Stroop test, and tracing a star seen in a mirror image.
3.In Happy People Live Longer, Frey reports that happy people live 14% longer, increasing longevity 7.5 to 10 years.
4.Steptow and Marmot furthered their studies by using their participants three years later to repeat the physiological measurements. They found that participants who scored high in positive emotion continued to have lower levels of cortisol and fibrinogen, as well as a lower heart rate.
5.Despite a large body of positive psychological research into the relationship between happiness and productivity, happiness at work has traditionally been seen as a potential by-product of positive outcomes at work, rather than a pathway to success in business. However a growing number of scholars, including Boehm and Lyubomirsky, argue that it should be viewed as one of the major sources of positive outcomes in the workplace.
Why do you set your goals? Let’s consider this basic question. The simple answer is that you are not happy with your present status and you want to improve. Now let’s consider who is responsible for your present status? Your circumstances, influence of your parents, teachers, friends, relatives, neighbor and all those who have been interacting with you. They have influenced you mind which in turn has influenced your actions and behavior. Over the years you have formed some habits. Triggered by your habits, you continue to do the same things over and over again. Your relationships with others remain the same. Nothing changes. Therefore you don’t own what you want; you don’t garner respect from others. Life is drudgery. Nothing to look forward to. You accept that this reality and you have to live with it. And then, you write down your goals. These could be about health, career, finance, family, hobby and even spirituality.
Once we understand that you background and habits have brought you to a situation which you are not happy with, you need to do whatever it takes to change these influences and most importantly change your habits. You may not be able to change company of everyone around you, but you can choose to divide your time according to your choice.
Implementing Goals Quotes:
People will always have an opinion, but you have to live life the way you want to. It’s very easy to tell others what to do, but difficult to implement it on yourself.
Set some goals. Stay quiet about them. Smash the hell out of them. Clap for your damn self.
Success is steady progress toward one’s personal goals. (Jim Rohn)
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.
When a planner speaks of implementing goals rationally, he implies that it is possible to demonstrate logically and experimentally the relationship between the proposed means and the ends they are intended to further. (Alan A. Altshuler)
In real life, strategy is actually very straightforward. You pick a general direction and implement like hell. (Jack Welch Winning)
Self-Belief : What is it ? How to enhance it ?
Stop making any excuses for any reason what-so-ever.
Do not indulge in any negative thought.
Stop thinking that difficulties surround you alone. You do not jump to conclusion and take hasty actions. You express your fears to others without any hesitation, because you keep in mind that everyone has some fears.
You stop procrastinating because that is indicative of your lack of confidence.
Stop pursing perfection. Perfection is never achieved. It only stops you from moving ahead.
Once you develop self belief and you observe that you confirm to all what has been said above, you will find the following eight advantages coming to you smoothly and seamlessly.
Self-belief enables you to hold strong conviction. All things do not happen the way you have planned or the way you expect. But strong conviction will help you to move ahead without fear of failure.
Self belief also helps you develop optimistic attitude which is necessary today in the wake of fast changing world. Life is becoming extremely competitive. Any opportunity missed once may never come back again. But if you have a negative attitude you will not be able to catch the fleeting possibilities.
Your self-belief also makes you more reliable to others.Thus you tend to build up better relations with others. Your credibility is not question. Since people can trust you they vie for good relations with you. Needless to say that for any significant project you need help from others.
Self-belief also helps you to be focused and self motivated. You no longer take life as it comes. You don’t depend on unknown sources to bring you luck. You carve your own destiny. Self motivation helps you to maintain enthusiasm and interest in life.
Your risk taking ability improves if you start relying on yourself. It is said that there are no gains if there are no risks. Your conviction helps you to take calculated risks in meeting the challenges of life. The tendency to avoid and escape facing challenging situation reduces substantially. You start realizing that difficulties form a necessary part of life.
Further, self-belief enables you to give and receive constructive criticism with an open mind. In the current scenario exchange of ideas and views are extremely important. The autocratic leader is not acceptable any more. So if you want to progress you have to collaborate with others from your own organization or outside outfits.
Self-belief helps you to be more assertive. You start caring for yourself more than pleasing others. Someone said that he doesn’t know any formula of how to succeed. The sure short formula for success has never been discovered. But there is a firm unbeatable formula for failure and that is trying to please everyone. Your self-belief will not allow you to embark on the journey of securing approvals where these are not mandatory.
Last but not the least, you start working on improving your self respect. You realize that if you do not respect yourself, others will follow suit. When you’re in need to raise self esteem, you become more effective and you become more productive. Now, you start managing your time very effectively as any improper or inadequate use of your time will hurt your self-esteem.
How to boost Personal Productivity?
Personal Productivity and its review constitute are essential ingriedients in the implementation and achievement of personal goals. But what is personal productivity? Does it mean how we manage our time? The answer is yes and no. Yes, time is an important aspect of personal productivity. Rather, it could be so provided your activities are aligned with your goals. And yet it is a lot more. Does it mean one’s achievement towards realization of personal goals? Not just that! Personal goals may change. Personal vision may change. And if one may say so personal mission statement if one ever cares to establish that – that also may change. When we talk of mission statement or vision or an organization, that hardly ever changes. But when we are talking of an individual, the factors that affect a person’s likes and dislikes, desires, drastically change with changing circumstances, or even without these. The most important factor for a person’s success is his/her personal productivity. As we growwe realize that it is not just money, not just health, not just family, or your social status, hobbies etc., that bring you happiness, but it is a combination of all these in varying proportions. So what we need to do is to align all our activities to achieve whatever we want in the aforesaid different fields. Therefore a daily review of what you do becomes very important. In the highly competitive world we have today, the targets that the organizations set for you are hard ones. These sap your energy and rob you of the power and ability to think what you must do. You only start following sometimes even unachievable targets. In the process, you totally destroy you concept of personal productivity. Hence, what is really needed is to have the right balance and proper perspective towards life. It is only such a healthy attitude that strikes a right balance between family and friends, home and work, health and money that will lead to a truly happy and successful life.
Just think of driving a car. You have to use controls to drive you straight when you are driving. Mainly, you use steering wheel, accelerator & breaks. There are other facilities like horn, signals, rear view mirror etc. When you are dealing with difficult people, you have to follow 3 critical steps. These are: i) stay calm ii) find help and iii) debrief.
In heavy traffic you tend to lose your cool. Likewise, with a difficult person you have a tendency to become impatient. Don’t do that. Stay calm.
You may try to find help. Someone who you think can guide you or act as a mediator to avoid confrontations.
In the complex life today, it’s prudent to have a mentor. A mentor has no conflicting interests with you. All he looks for is helping you. After you have faced the difficult person with whatever results, it is useful to discuss the entire situation with your mentor.
Rule Two:
Don’t treat your opponent as your enemy. Respect his/her dignity and the results will be good. And for that just do the following:
Listen attentively. Let them talk and you should just listen. Often the opponents will not open their cards but when you listen attentively you may be able to discover the hidden agenda which will help you to deal with him/her. Besides, people want to be listened to. They want to talk.
Don’t hurt their dignity. Respect their ego. When you don’t respect you opponent the situation will only go from bad to worse. This needs to be avoided so that there is no escalation of the problem.
Don’t judge people. Try to understand than before forming you opinion about them. When you have already formed an opinion, there are chances that you will not try discovering the hidden need of the opponent. Therefore keep your mind open and do not judge.
When the tempers run high allow opponent to calm down. Your help will soften his stubborn intentions to some extent. Besides, you cannot discuss, much less negotiate, when the tempers run high.
Rule Three:
Respect Nature which has made all human beings individuals. No two people are alike; not in their physical attributes but much less in their mental makeup. Thus, it would be a sheer folly to assume a particular method to deal with one difficult person will also work when we are dealing with another. Just like one size does not fit all, one type of response will not solve problem with another. We need to contemplate solution after clearly understanding the situation and the concerned person.
Rule Four:
Tit for tat was an old school story. Leave it behind. It doesn’t work anymore. Times have changes dramatically and now these are changing faster than ever. So every situation needs a specific strategy suited to the occasion. Don’t return anger with anger. Intimidation is freely used and abused. More importantly if you lose your cool, you will not be able to use tact to your advantage. Further, you must not try to justify your actions and act defensively. This may only aggravate the problem. Acting defensively will make you weaker. The best strategy is let the opponent puff out their steam. Better sense will prevail sooner than later. Lastly don’t ever try to win an argument. As they say when you win an argument, you lose a friend. Thanks for reading.
It is necessary to identify the negativity in your attitude. What is negative attitude? Negative attitude is when you start focusing on the problems that you might face during your efforts to achieve your goals. It is the lack of hope that things will happen to help you out in your mission. It is the feeling that people will not help you because on earlier occasions you met with rejections. Negative attitude is the lack of your conviction that you can overcome the hurdles that you might face during your journey. In a sense, negative attitude is also a lack of belief in you. Some more symptoms of negative attitude are enumerated below:
1. Laziness: When you think you don’t have the energy to get up and do the work. Sometimes you don’t even think and realize that laziness is simply whiling away the time. It is not even procrastination which will be described separately.
2. Low self esteem: It is an extremely harmful attribute in your personality. You start thinking that you are good for nothing. You accept the situations in which you are because your self esteem is so low that you think you can do nothing better.
3. Low productivity: Work has a strange tendency of expanding as per the time available. Even worse is when no time is allotted for the completion of a task. This gives you a feeling of solving certain important problems whereas in fact you are just being satisfied in remaining busy. This approach will never allow you to increase your productivity. For doing more in a given time, you have to stretch yourself. Therefore is it necessary that you allot specific time duration for a task. In the beginning, the allocation may seem difficult, but once you form a habit it will become much easier. Difficult or easy, it is necessary.
4. Lack of initiative: For any significant progress, initiative is necessary. What is initiative? Initiative is your first step for going ahead with a task. When it is something new, you have to creatively think and courageously take the first step, even if there is some risk. No risk is the biggest risk in life. Any significant initiative cannot be taken to move forward without accepting this reality. So don’t be afraid to take initiative.
5. Not listening to understand: In the course of conversations, sometimes we tend to focus so much on what we have to say, that we stop listening to the other person. This is particularly so when the speaker has said something for which we have a ready argument to negate what he has said. Unfortunately, such a habit does not allow us to listen and assimilate what the speaker says after that. Evidently it leads to miscommunication and problems. The solution is first understand and then be understood.
6. Faking: We feel envious of some people who are more successful in the material sense than we think that they deserve. Such a feeling leads us to a myth that it is their style which makes them successful and we try to imitate their conduct. This is a extremely bad situation. We lose belief in ourselves, and how can we expect that others will believe us.
7. Not trying to express: When we have certain ideas, but either we do not want to express, or we are afraid to express, is also indicative of our negative attitude. It is necessary to develop an ability to express without hesitation. The fear of rejection which takes away your ability to act is one of the serious handicaps.
8. Not learning lessons from mistakes: There is no one who does not commit mistakes. Whenever we undertake something new, mistakes may happen. This is normal. However, repeating the same mistake again and again, is neither normal, nor should be acceptable. Thus we must learn lessons from our past mistakes and use these lessons to direct our future efforts.
9. Ego: Ego happens to be another aspect of personality which does not allow us to grow. Ego comes in the way of our approaching people to help us. It makes us believe that it is below our dignity to seek help. A success Guru had said that there are eleven principles of achieving success. And what are these eleven principles? These are, ask, ask, ask….(eleven times).
10. Jealousy: Jealousy is a negative emotion which keeps sapping our creative energies. We gain nothing in the process. It makes us feel as victims of fate or poor destiny. Jealousy may even take away our sound sleep. The worst part is that sometimes it cannot be contained, it goes on swelling. Jealousy must be thwarted out of the personality.
11. Avoiding hard work: There is only one way to success, and that is the hard way. If we habitually seek short cuts it will be very difficult for us to work hard. What is working hard? When you are fully devoted to completing the job and you forget even your surroundings, you continue to work even when you are tired because you want to complete. That aspect of work may be termed as hard work. Initially it may be very difficult, but then one can form a habit. For any significant progress, hard work is necessary.
Life has many facets: habits, aspirations, goals, significance etc. It is rare that there has been an artist who was also a good householder and a progressive human being. When I say a good householder, I mean one who facilitates the family in all respects. He not only provides for them materially but also emotionally. This is so, typical for a family man. But when we talk of an individual who doesn’t have a family, they too will have to find out their goals; what they want to do in life by controlling or changing their habits. In these circumstances it is difficult to imagine an artist who is totally devoted to his/her passion for art putting similar emphasis/importance on all the other aspects of life, as said above. Therefore I think we must understand and practice the ‘Secrets of Happy Living’.
1. Self–awareness is “an awareness of one’s own personality or individuality”. It is not to be confused with in the sense of quality. While consciousness is being aware of one’s environment and body and lifestyle , self-awareness is the recognition of that awareness. Self-awareness is how an individual consciously knows and understands their own character , feelings,motives, and desires. There are two broad categories of self-awareness: internal self awareness and external self-awareness.
Self Awareness an individual needs to be conscious of his own body, state of mind including thoughts, actions, ideas, feeling and interaction with others. Besides, self-awareness has to be a continuous process. It’s only then that you can mound your thoughts, actions and relationship with others. Without doubt, this requires a constant review. The process teaches you how to go about finding solutions to the problems.
2. The second secret is setting priorities. It is not only fixing the priorities but also scheduling them according to their relative importance. We must remember that when we schedule a task and provide a time slot, it is not necessary that time allocated will always be found sufficient. Time management is another important aspect to be reviewed from time to time. The discipline that you require for constant follow up requires a logical approach. It should have nothing to do with the moods of the person. When a particular task is not finished as per schedule you need to provide the next slot and abide by it. This protocol alone can bring about the desired results.
3. The third secret is necessary to develop a keen sense of focus. Some example to illustrate focus:
Education is the current focus on public debate.
They have narrowed the focus of the investigation, to concentrate on younger adults.
What is the focus of your report?
The baby had become the focus of all her energies.
The focus of the inquiry was on faults in the company’s safety procedures.
To my mind doing only one thing at a time is the best approach. As far as possible there should be no interruption. Equally important is your total mind and soul into what you are doing. One has to start living in the present, moment to moment. Deliberate effort may be required for some time but then it becomes your habit and you start navigating your life as if you are flying an airplane.
4. Lastly,
the fourth secret is your speech. It is critically important. Play with voice
volume, speed, and tone
The ultimate weapon that the speaker holds is
his voice. The degree of volume, the pitch of the voice, the varying tones, and
the speech are all those assets which can take your speech to the next level.
The pitch of the voice can be used for the exhibition of the authority by
scaling it up and down. Furthermore, the higher the voice volume, the more
authority it demonstrates. These are minor details but have the potential which
can completely change the impact of the speech delivered. Therefore, makes sure
you make the most of these degree and variations to attain the most of the
benefits associated with it.
Because we have to interact with colleagues,
family members and the society at large, we must choose our words and use them
effectively. Any wrong choice or casual approach towards this very important aspect
of human personality can be disastrous. Speech must always be clear; words
should be chosen with discretion and spoken effectively. Speech helps to
maintain and improve our relations in any environment.
To conclude I would like to say that a successful life in modern
times requires us to know and practice these and any other secret that works
for us.
1. First, you must write down your goals in clear specific language. Then start with not only visualizing but also seeing your goals as clearly as you have written down. For example, if your goal is to go to France and visit Paris, activate your imagination and see that you are climbing Eiffel tower. Likewise, if you want to buy a specific expensive car say BMW, you should imagine or see yourself riding the BMW.
2. You have to figure out that the sense of believing that you have already achieved the goal is to start looking at it.
You don’t see millions who believe but only one who doesn’t
Don’t waste your energy in trying to change opinions
Price lee don’t look on it, see within
3. Obstacles
Next, you need to understand the obstacles. If all things were very easy then nobody would need to create goals, write goals or work hard to achieve them. Things are not easy and they will never be easy. Once you see yourself achieving your specific goal, then you sit down and work out what are the kind of obstacles you might face. There will definitely be some obstacles, which you can visualize. And one more important thing to remember is that as you move forward towards achieving your goal, some unexpected obstacle will also come which you will have to conquer. It is only your determination, your decision and your perseverance that you will some way or the other help achieve the goal that you have already imagined.
4. Conquering Obstacles
Create a mental picture that the obstacles are coming and you are conquering all the obstacles. Imagine that there is an athlete who is running an obstacle race, while he is running fast; he is also crossing the obstacles. Likewise, now that you know what kind of obstacles will come, you imagine crossing those obstacles, picture yourself conquering those obstacles and still carrying on with your mission.
5. Many doubts can arise in your mind. It is normal. However, clear all the doubts, clear your mind of all doubts which often come, which are quite natural. You say to yourself, nothing doing, no such doubts will stop me from achieving my goal. I have a clear picture of achieving my goal, I am determined and I have created a mental picture of conquering my obstacles. Therefore, there is no doubt that I can do it. The goal itself is a challenge. And all the obstacles that you face while pursuing the goal, will also be kind of smaller challenges. Embrace the challenge. It is an opportunity which will definitely enhance your courage, which will give you more will power to pursue and to be successful. Stay on track. Keep up on the track following the same thing, which you have defined and seeing yourself achieving it. There should be no diversion. Staying on track will definitely make it easier for you to overcome the obstacles and reach your goal. Eventually show the world you can do it. As I say, SUCCESS stands for,
S – See your goal U – Understand the obstacles C – Create positive mental pictures C – Clear your mind of self-doubts E – Embrace the challenges S – Stay on track S – Show the world you can do it. When the goal is a big project, define it and write it down. Then have a very strong desire for it. That is the kind of motivation, which is necessary to follow the steps that I have already mentioned.
6.Be Practical – Split the big tasks
If it is an arduous task and a big project,
split it up. Split it into smaller goals and then give a time line to those
smaller goals. You must review these every day. You have to review what you
have done. You have to check if you have come up to your expectations or not.
This step is extremely important. Schedule it, add a timeline to all smaller
goals and then do it.
Why do you set your goals? Let’s consider this
basic question. The simple answer is that you are not happy with your present
status and you want to improve. Now let’s consider who is responsible for your
present status? Your circumstances, influence of your parents, teachers,
friends, relatives, neighbor and all those who have been interacting with you.
They have influenced you mind which in turn has influenced your actions and
behavior. Over the years you have formed some habits. Triggered by your habits,
you continue to do the same things over and over again. Your relationships with
others remain the same. Nothing changes. Therefore you don’t own what you want;
you don’t garner respect from others. Life is drudgery. Nothing to look forward
to. You accept that this reality and you have to live with it. And then, you
write down your goals. These could be about health, career, finance, family,
hobby and even spirituality.
Once we understand that your background and
habits have brought you to a situation which you are not happy with, you need
to do whatever it takes to change these influences and most importantly change
your habits. You may not be able to change company of everyone around you, but
you can choose to divide your time according to your choice.
Let me reproduce some quotes of famous and successful people around the world
1. People will always have an opinion, but you have to live life the way you want to. It’s very easy to tell others what to do, but difficult to implement it on yourself.
2. Set some goals. Stay quiet about them. Smash the hell out of them. Clap for your damn self.
3. Success is steady progress toward one’s personal goals. (Jim Rohn)
4. You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.
5. When a planner speaks of implementing goals rationally, he implies that it is possible to demonstrate logically and experimentally the relationship between the proposed means and the ends they are intended to further. (Alan A. Altshuler)
6. In real life, strategy is actually very straightforward. You pick a general direction and implement like hell. (Jack Welch Winning)
Many a times we face situations when we are being ignored by people for whom we care. Likewise, it may happen the other way round. Let’s look at the various possibilities of you ignoring someone or being ignored. There could be many possibilities and different situations. Sometimes, it is not bad, while most of the times ignoring or being ignored badly hurts. In any case, it’s necessary not to ignore such situations. We must contemplate, analyze and then take necessary action. Some of the circumstances are as below:
1. You ignore someone – Reason? You are upset with him or her. You take them for granted. You have to identify
2. Someone ignores you – Reason? May be he or she is no longer interested in you. Or could it be any of the reasons listed above.
3. When ignoring is the best way to handle problematic situation? Yes, you can always find some benefits in otherwise negative action.
4. Problems between husband and wife. This requires continuous monitoring as you are living together. Each is dependent on the other. Interdependence makes it necessary “to handle with care.”
5. Bullies it the work place or in society. This is an ever-growing problem which appears to have been ignored. It starts from among the school students.
Silence can be a person’s loudest cry. You know you have really
hurt someone when they start ignoring you. It is worse than saying anything bad
to you and is even worse than rebuking you. In other words, the feeling of
being ignored is extremely disturbing.
When you are ignoring someone continuously, you are teaching
him/her to live without you which is bad as you are creating a gap between
yourself and the person whom you are ignoring, this may never be filled.
If anybody is ignored, it is very difficult for him/her to
compromise with that idea. They will always wish that they could ignore the
fact that they are being ignored.
A person may get a feeling of rather being said that they don’t
like him/her instead of being ignored. Thus, one must never ignore anybody as
it is very damaging and a worse feeling for the person who is being ignored.
Sometimes you ignore people not because you are mad at them but
it may mean that they are not really important and worth your time. This is
totally another way of thinking and worth resorting to at times. If you want to
break a relationship, you start ignoring a person by all means which is needed
depending on person to person and the situation.
You must let go those people who are ignoring you and your
presence because you are not worth their time. But when someone is continuously
ignoring you, it is better to forget about him/her.
Some people hurt you by words, some by their actions and some
people hurt you by being silent. One gets hurt the maximum when someone ignores
him/her even after they value that person the most. If you care for somebody
and that person ignores you, is the worse feeling and one gets hurt the maximum
due to this and is unable to tolerate the fact of being ignored.
When a person is ignored, he/she will start thinking that he
wish he could ignore the person in return. Yet it may be very difficult.
Ignoring the signs is a good way to end up at the wrong
destination. This means that if someone shows you the signs of being ignored by
him/her, you should be prepared that you are in for a surprise and for
something which you probably never wanted. Thus, it is said that ignoring the
signs is a best way to end up at the wrong destination. If you ignore the
milestones, it is not going to help you as you don’t know where you are going
or heading to.
One example which comes to mind is totally different. Robert
Browning’s saying in one of his poems highlights optimism. It goes “Take back the
hope you gave, I claim, only a memory of the same”. Thus, you can ignore
someone but can never change the memories that person brought into your life.
If someone is ignoring you, the best thing to do it to end the
relationship and not to disturb them again .If you continue to approach that
person and if he/she continues to ignore you then you should never go back to
them as you are ultimately hurting yourself which should be realized as soon as
possible.
