Seven Proven Techniques about how to come out of Deep Sadness?

Often, we find that we become sad due to some small reason. It could be anything which happened not as we had visualized. It could be erroneous behavior of somebody we relied on and things like that. But sadness never helps us. It further aggravates the problem. We lose time. We lose energy too. When we are sad, we do not feel like doing something which will be self satisfying. In fact we would not like to work on any project where application of mind and some physical efforts are required. So what should we do? In any case we should try to conquer the malady and come out of it. But how can we do that? I am giving below some such actions which have proved to be very useful if you suffer from the state of sadness.

  1. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is focusing on the present. When we are sad and when we know that sadness is not going to help we should encourage ourselves to do something creative. No doubt mindfulness is difficult. But with practice it can become a matter of habit. It will have multiple advantages. You become a better manager of time. You will understand that sadness is sheer wastage of time which can be better utilized by doing something which you love. Time is better utilized in doing something creative.

  1. Learn to forgive others and also yourself.

Oftentimes, it is observed that primary reason of becoming sad is our observation  that we have not lived up to the demand of the situation and/or occasion. We have not carried out our duty the way it should have been done. Thus we tend to become sad because of our own mistakes. At such times, you need to realize that it is not abnormal. People at all levels make mistakes. Try to think if you have met anybody who doesn’t make mistakes; you will find none. Thus, there is no reason to be upset with you. Forgive yourself and move on. Sadness can also occur when we are betrayed by some of colleague, family member, social associate etc. But in reality people are always more concerned with their own interest. Therefore it is not something uncommon when there is a clash of interest they will not bother about our expectation from them even if they had promised to do. But, as you must forgive yourself,  you need to forgive them as well. This will surely bring peace.

  1. Start doing some exercise.

Exercise takes away your attention away from the current sadness. You start to focus on doing something which requires energy as well as application of mind. Survey reveals that this type of distraction is very valuable to conquer sadness. You don’t have to run a marathon. You can simply go for a walk but in a lively place. If you are a member of a club and it is within your reach then go to the club and enjoy the company of your friends or even other people who are not very close to you. It will change your mood. The change in atmosphere will also help.

  1. Ward of negative self talk

It has been observed that when you are sad you start thinking of the past when you were in similar state. This has, unfortunately, a snowballing effect. You must remind yourself that you have to deliberately come out of undesirable state. It is your interest not to remain in that state. It will definitely require your initiative determination and action. Not easy! But with practice it becomes achievable.

Company of happy people

It’s a good habit to remain in the company of happy people. You should choose your friends. You can surely avoid company of people who are themselves morose, who are feeling that they are undergoing some kind of depression. Such people will only aggravate the problem. Even if you are doing good some problems are bound to be there. In company of positive people, you look at the situation as a part of life. You will not see your problems in the magnifying glass. Thus, it’s best to be in company of happy people. Besides, when you are in the state of sadness, try to find someone to whom you can talk and who generally makes you feel happy. If it is not possible to reach out to them, just talk to them over the phone but come out of your state of sadness.

  1. Use distraction

If there is something that you have been postponing, think of that and start working on the same. Let it a kind of useful distraction. You can even start playing with your pet if you have one. You may read a book that you have been wanting to read. Do anything that will take you away from the current state. But somehow you have to try your best to change. Or just go out and do something, some work of yours which is either pending or which can resolved with some effort.

  1. Shift to a well lighted, lively place

It is been observed that if you tend to stay in a place which is not well lighted you remain sad. If you are sitting in your own room and you find it boring, because you have not brought about any change, its better to find some lively well lighted place. Go there in any which way particularly when you’re not in a happy mood.

  1. Listen to live music

If you’re fond of music then try to pick up some nice happy songs which you have been enjoying in the past. It will renew your happy memories. Music is a wonderful tool for changing your mood and making you at peace with yourself. If at all music does not interest you, which is very unlikely, then you can start working on any of your favorite hobby. Spend some time on it so that you don’t keep on brooding over things which have brought about state of sadness.
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Negative Emotions

Five types of Negative Emotions which may wreck your Life

First of all, we must understand what are negative emotions. What is the meaning of negative emotion? As human beings we are bound to feel happy or sad with situations or while interacting with people. Impact of such situation or such interaction is emotion. These emotions can be positive or negative. Positive emotions will make us feel happy. Negative emotions on the other side make us feel sad and unhappy. Both these categories of emotions are a part of human life. Both have a role to play. When these are left uncontrolled both these emotions do not help humans. In fact, they tend to add problems in the life which have to be dealt with.
So what should we do?
We must be self-aware and monitor our emotions at all time. What are the examples of negative emotions. Negative emotions are of five types. These are: sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt and shame or embarrassment. Let us examine each of these five types of negative emotions.

Sadness:

This is an emotion which hardly has any positive effect on life. In fact it saps away the time that we lose because of this negative emotion. Except for the fact that we have possibility to contemplate and experience nostalgia, there is no other gain from the emotion of sadness. It reduces energy. It reduces your desire to follow goals. You start feeling that there is no significance of life. If the sadness continues you lose your interest in life.

How to come out of this negative emotion?

The best way is to start doing something interesting. For example if you are fond of painting, start a new picture. If you are fond of singing, start practicing a new song. If you are a health freak, it is time that you start doing some exercise. In short don’t sit and spend away your valuable time in remaining sad.

Anxiety:

Next on the list is Anxiety. Some people may say that anxiety helps you to analyse the situation. It prepares you to meet the challenge ahead. It forces you to do all the preparation that you need to face new situation or a challenge. This is an example of self satisfying assumption. Anxiety will have a negative effect on your brain. Anxiety affects your ability to decide. And it should not be mistaken for need to prepare for meeting any situation. That does not require anxiety. It requires only your decisive thinking and discipline.  Anxiety will only causes stress which will affect your productivity. Whenever you are anxious for a particular challenge which has cropped up in your life the best way is to sit down and write what are the possibilities. You have always to make a choice. If you don’t decide even that will add to your anxiety.

Anger:

The third type of negative emotion is Anger. Anger is the negative emotion which can be used to your advantage. But it will happen only if you are keen to use it. Keen to use Anger to motivate you to do something which you have been postponing. Anger also needs to be in control. When in control you can be sure that it will give you greater energy to face the situation which is difficult and which requires all concentrated effort. However if you think that Anger by itself will help you, if you think that it will solve your problem by itself, you are sadly mistaken. Unbridled anger can cause havoc. It will increase your stress and generate further negative emotions like vengeance or enmity and the like. So, you should be cautious that anger should not be allowed to rule over you. You should only think of using the situation or using this powerful emotion for furthering your course. It definitely enhances your motivation. It definitely increases your willpower to resolve the problem. But as I said earlier you must be in control of your anger. You should not allow anger to have control on you.

Guilt:

Fourth type of negative emotion is guilt. It is generated by your inner self. It happens when you feel that you have done something which you ought not to have done. It is indicative of lack of discipline on your part. It is indicative that you are tempted by small things. It is indicative that you have lesser control on yourself. It is indicative of the weakness of one’s character. How can we use this emotion to our advantage? We should remain self-aware and we should think before doing anything. Over the period you have realized that certain things which you did in the past, left the curse the feeling of guilt. It means that if you are shirking away from your responsibilities, you will have the feeling of guilt. So if you question yourself that you must avoid the negative feeling of guilt which will cause a negative effect on my health, on your thinking, on you brain, you may help yourself to avoid such inaction or even action which you feel will cost you dearly.

Shame or Embarrassment:

Last but not the least we should talk about shame or embarrassment. This negative feeling or emotion demolish our self-confidence. It can reduce our self esteem. This may not be entirely due to your character blemishes. It may be due to environment. Oftentimes there are some incidents where your peers or colleagues or others deliberately try to embarrass you. So what should you do? Whenever you are likely to face such a situation you have to prepare yourself. Maybe you remind one previous occasion when some people misbehaved with you. At that time recall what was your conduct. What was your reaction? How did you deal with the situation? Recall, if you had not handled it properly and that became the cause of embarrassment. You can plan out a different response. In any case if you want to avoid embarrassment which is affecting your personality, you have to do some kind of preparation. In life, if you want to be successful, you have to always prepare for challenging situations. Never be shy of preparation. Never think that you can handle anything and everything because of your ego. Ego has absolutely no place in life except when you mean self-confidence when you’re talking about ego
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How to beat procrastination?

If you want to remove procrastination you must contemplate on the following three aspects of procrastination.
  1. Reasons of procrastination so far as you are concerned.
  2. Decision to remove procrastination from your life.
  3. How to overcome procrastination at all times.
First of all let us talk about the reasons for procrastination. There could be following one or more reasons. These are laziness, indecision and health issues. It is necessary to find out which of these reasons are present in your personality and affecting your work.

If there are health issues, you must consult your doctor. In cases where there are some problems and you feel fatigue most of the time, you can be sure that there are some health problems which need to be resolved. This may time take some time and proper effort and follow-up, but it is necessary that you should undergo the process. There is no shortcut available.

If laziness is the issue you must understand that it is your habit which you have to change. Nobody else will do it for you. Habits die hard and you should be prepared to consistently work to eradicate the bad habit which you may have formed over a period of time.

If however indecision is the problem, you may have to struggle in order to become a decisive person. Here again you will have to dig deep to find out what are the reasons of your ‘indecision’. Mostly this could be related to fear of rejection or fear of failure. In either case the fear tends to become deep-rooted. While one finds it easier to escape this fear by not taking any action, in fact inaction leads to further indecision. Lower self esteem goes down and you find yourself as a poor performer. This is a serious handicap which unfortunately affects 90% of the people, today.
In any case all the above reasons have to be properly identified. These have to be properly addressed. Then only you can go to the next step which is consciously deciding to do away with this bane of life.

How do we do that?

Again, you have to do some research from your own life. You have also to document the problems that you have been facing; losses that this useless habit, procrastination, is causing continuously. It is better to write down all such situations and the damage procrastination has caused in your life in the past. Do it is for as long a period as you can go. Go through the history of the sufferings and of the all losses that you would have suffered. If it is possible you try to convert all the losses into money. Find out the total money lost due to your habit of procrastination. This will open your eyes. It will then be easier to realize that your progress has been suffering because of this bad habit which has been lingering on in your life.
The exercise will surely motivate you to stop procrastination. But don’t ever think that you will be rid of this malady easily. Therefore be prepared to work hard to achieve this feat. The good thing is that consistent efforts in this direction will surely produce results. If you have gone through this exercise honestly and diligently, you will surely decide to ward of this wasteful and costly habit. You will do whatever it takes to achieve this.
Start following your mind, taking actions whatever your inner self suggests. At the same time you have to keep on measuring the result. I have talked to you about two of the three aspects which I mentioned in the beginning and which we must study. Having talked about reasons for procrastination and taking a decision to remove it, eradicate it, we come to the most important aspect of the project. That is how to overcome the procrastination.
I have two critical suggestions which are known to bring forth excellent results. The first one is to start writing a journal. At the end of each day sit down for a few minutes and write down all that happened during the day. Focus on your procrastination. Note down where are you could have acted better. You should also note down if you had postponed anything which needed to be done. For that you should further describe the possible losses which postponing can cause in the coming time. The process of documenting these problems will surely play a very potent role in your enhancing efforts to overcome the serious problem, the one, which has been creating misery in your life.
The second suggestion that I want to give in this regard is:  start reading stories of great achievers. You will find that most of them have achieved what they did because they never suffered from procrastination. In some cases the stories may or may not document how they overcame this serious roadblock if at all they had. Therefore do read. In either case you will be motivated to ward off procrastination in life. Even your basic logic will tell you that it is not worth suffering because of a habit which has never helped anyone. Their life stories will inspire you to follow their examples and do your duties diligently. When you are engaged in performance of your duty, you will find that there is no opportunity to procrastinate.
These are not by any means comprehensive solutions. These are just proven suggestions. You may find some other ways which could be helpful in addition to these. Do everything in your control to fight this enemy of your progress procrastination.
Thanks for reading.

Humour

We all know that humour has a great significance in life. Unfortunately in this stressful situation humour has totally disappeared. Lack of humour makes life even more stressful. It’s important to find the brighter side of life. It requires a positive attitude and it requires a frame of mind which identifies where are we, where we can smile, where we can help people to smile and feel happy.

In good old days, people used to have late evening get-togethers. Even though they would meet for a short time, but relate interesting anecdotes, jokes and other humorous stories. Literature was the life and elixir of that period. People were fond of reading books. The books have a great value because you can feel proud of your possessions. It is not necessary that you should only read these books from cover to cover. Today, the time is such that attention span has become much shorter than what it used to be. Therefor short stories or short novels are good enough. The big fat books of the old era have almost vanished. We must recognize the importance of such short meetings. We must recognize that reality of a stressful life today really needs such relaxations. Unfortunately, when we are at home instead of spending quality time with family together, there is the tendency to sit in front of the television and watch whatever is available. This is a part of the growth and progress of the 21st-century which is not so good.

But in the present environment having a good sense of humour is not a child’s play; it is not a cakewalk. You have to make efforts. You have to be determined. You have to be consistent and your desire to acquire talent of finding humour in the otherwise mundane life has to be strong. Unfortunately the capitalism or crony capitalism has many disadvantages. In spite of the fact that it is needed for the growth and development of industry in the world. The requirements, the needs, the desire of the people grow every day. So it increases stress.
The channels of communications have become so many that you experience new articles, new products, new places to visit every moment. It is difficult to keep the mind in control and content. Everything is so expensive, so you have to work harder than ever to produce the result. That which is commensurate with your growing demands.

The Internet and its rapid expansion has changed the way, the world lives. Google has created a whole new world. This is like Brave New World of Aldous Huxley. Artificial intelligence will rule the roost. The importance of human being keeps on reducing. The thinking itself is being done, something which was always carried out by the man, now by the machines.

How can we develop a good sense of humour? 

First of all we need to breed a strong desire to see the brighter and lighter side of things. It is necessary to stop being analytical all the time. It is this is choice not to judge people but to understand them. It is necessary to give others an opportunity to express themselves. We must first understand and then be understood.
Unfortunately when we listen to people there is only one objective, to prove them wrong. That is; let the person stop then I will tell him or her where they are wrong. Because I know better. The ego of people has touched the sky. It is the ego which does not allow us to give a chance to others to express themselves. It is felt that if anybody else grows that will mean that we go down. So the best thing is not to allow anybody to become stronger as far as I’m concerned. The boss does not want his junior to do great work best he loses his job or even he becomes less important in the eyes of all those who matter in the company.
These are some of roadblocks which we need to remove and become positive people. And then it will be easy to develop a good sense of humour. Peace and happiness will be collateral advantages.
 Thanks for Reading.

Confidence

As a child, I always felt that I lacked confidence. Even now, in some situations I find that I do not measure up to my expectations. Yet, I have always admired confident people and I continue to do.
Considering that Confidence is a very importance part of our lives, I often contemplate about it.
This happened at the Delhi Airport. I had checked-in well in advance, as per my habit. I was waiting to board the flight to Mumbai. As usual I was looking around to find confident people. There were many men and women well dressed, upright and looking satisfied with their lives. But there was one gentleman who appeared exceptional. He was immaculately dressed in a dark grey suit. His broad shoulders and  with his chin-up added to his confident look. As I was brooding the flight was announced and we all boarded the plane.
It was a comfortable smooth flight. All the usual things – the in flight safety demonstrations, service of snacks, tea and coffee went off very well. Soon it was the time to reach Mumbai. The air-hostess announced that the plane would land at Mumbai airport in a few minutes. Then something happened. Instead of descending the plane went up and started going round in circles. After about ten minutes everyone got restless. People were looking around and trying to understand what was happening. I closed my eyes and started praying. Still, the plane continued to hover in mid-air.
Suddenly, I thought of this very confident tall man I saw at the Delhi airport. Looking around I found that he was perhaps the most restless soul on the flight at that moment. He was holding his handkerchief in one hand furiously wiping the perspiration, sometimes from the forehead and sometimes from his cheeks. With closed eyes he was looking up and down. At times he would put his hand in the pocket, as if he were trying to search for something. I could see all this because he occupied an aisle seat on the opposite side just two rows behind. In my futile endeavor of observing him, I had somehow forgotten my fears.
And then the Pilot came out of his cabin, walked to the middle of gangway, and stopped there. He did something and then went back. Shortly thereafter another landing announcement was made. The plane landed safely and all of us got down.
I realized that the confidence of a person is not only about posture, looks, and dress. A dressed, and the way he behavior, it is something more. In fact, a lot more. Real confidence is tested when there is a crisis how you remain cools at the time.
I realized that the confidence of a person is not only about posture, looks, dress and behavior, but it is something more. In fact, a lot more! Real confidence is tested when there is a crisis. How you remain cool at the time of crisis shows how confident you are.
Thanks for reading.

4 Secret rules to dead with Difficult People

Rule One:

Just think of driving a car. You have to use controls to drive you straight when you are driving. Mainly, you use steering wheel, accelerator & breaks. There are other facilities like horn, signals, rear view mirror etc. When you are dealing with difficult people, you have to follow 3 critical steps. These are: i) stay calm ii) find help and iii) debrief.

  • In heavy traffic you tend to lose your cool. Likewise, with a difficult person you have a tendency to become impatient. Don’t do that. Stay calm.
  • You may try to find help. Someone who you think can guide you or act as a mediator to avoid confrontations.
  • In the complex life today, it’s prudent to have a mentor. A mentor has no conflicting interests with you. All he looks for is helping you. After you have faced the difficult person with whatever results, it is useful to discuss the entire situation with your mentor.

Rule Two:

Don’t treat your opponent as your enemy. Respect his/her dignity and the results will be good. And for that just do the following:

  1. Listen attentively. Let them talk and you should just listen. Often the opponents will not open their cards but when you listen attentively you may be able to discover the hidden agenda which will help you to deal with him/her. Besides, people want to be listened to. They want to talk.
  2. Don’t hurt their dignity. Respect their ego. When you don’t respect you opponent the situation will only go from bad to worse. This needs to be avoided so that there is no escalation of the problem.
  3. Don’t judge people. Try to understand than before forming you opinion about them. When you have already formed an opinion, there are chances that you will not try discovering the hidden need of the opponent. Therefore keep your mind open and do not judge.
  4. When the tempers run high allow opponent to calm down. Your help will soften his stubborn intentions to some extent. Besides, you cannot discuss, much less negotiate, when the tempers run high.

Rule Three:

Respect Nature which has made all human beings individuals No two people are alike; not in their physical attributes but much less in their mental makeup. Thus, it would be a sheer folly to assume a particular method to deal with one difficult person will also work when we are dealing with another. Just like one size does not fit all, one type of response will not solve problem with another. We need to contemplate solution after clearly understanding the situation and the concerned person.

Rule Four:

Tit for tat was an old school story. Leave it behind. It doesn’t work anymore. Times have changes dramatically and now these are changing faster than ever. So every situation needs a specific strategy suited to the occasion. Don’t return anger with anger. Intimidation is freely used and abused. More importantly if you lose your cool, you will not be able to use tact to your advantage.
Further, you must not try to justify your actions and act defensively. This may only aggravate the problem. Acting defensively will make you weaker. The best strategy is let the opponent puff out their steam. Better sense will prevail sooner than later.
Lastly don’t ever try to win an argument. As they say when you win an argument, you lose a friend.
Thanks for reading.

Four Foremost Facets of a Powerful Speech

Speech which doesn’t influence is without any significance and is best avoided. The speech has been a subject of importance ever since the society became cultured.  The great speakers were poor speakers at one time. It is a myth that speech or powerful speaking is a God-given quality. The nature of speech is dynamic and can be developed with personal efforts.  The capacity and talent of great speech must be created. One needs to buckle down. It’s better to hone your speaking skills under direction of a capable coach.
Public Speaking is not a need for just for the political pioneers or motivational speakers. The capability in this ability should be produced by everybody who needs to advance and who needs to keep up his/her confidence. The idea is presently stretched out even to talking one on one or to a gathering or to your relatives.

The hidden characteristics required are:

1. Articulation: It alludes to the lucidity in discourse. One must be in a situation to express obviously whatever is there as a main priority. Syllables can be articulated accurately just with the skilled utilization of discourse organs.
2. Speech Organs: We have 5 discourse organs. These are: jaw, tongue, teeth, lips and palette. Wherever some of these are not utilized enough, lucidity is traded off.
3. Eye Contact: The speaker needs to hold the consideration of the audience/audience members. This can be accomplished by looking at the gathering of people. You should associate whether you are addressing one individual or to a huge crowd. Keeping up an eye to eye connection is vital.
4. Coordination between mind and speech: Human cerebrum thinks 10 times quicker than the discourse. Coordination between the brain and speech is of prime significance. Intermittently the speaker is at a misfortune to locate the correct word. While talking it causes bobbles amid the discourse. This occurs because of insufficient coordination. It can be accomplished with training.

Age, no bar!

 It is a deception that the ability should be produced at a beginning period. Age is no bar to create convincing talking ability. Here I might want to relate a current contextual investigation.
One of my understudies (in his late 60s) said that amid his life he never could address in excess of 1 individual at once. A jeweler by calling, he resigned and gave over the business to his children. With a desire to offer back to the general public, he began a NGO. Because of his contacts, he could accumulate enough subsidizes. His commitment to the reason empowered him to do great work in his town in Gujarat. At whatever point a task would be finished he would confront the “most concerning issue in his life”. Constantly individuals would request that he say few words and that was the “most serious issue”.
In light of the aforementioned impulse, he was persuaded to take in broad daylight talking in the wake of resigning from business. A powerful urge empowered him to rehearse hard. In this manner he took an interest in different courses and now he is an expert public speaker.
Life has changed. It is moving to a great degree quick. Snail mail has been supplanted by email. Eager business pioneers need things to happen ‘yesterday’. Telecom upset and web has changed the guidelines of the diversion so far as correspondence is concerned.

Four Possibilities of Communication:

Presently let us look at four conceivable blends of talking and tuning in. This will empower us to comprehend what correspondence can do to our lives and to our association.

Possibility No 1: Effective talking however poor tuning in.

In the event that this is the pioneer’s qualities the outcomes could be as under:
It will build your core interest. You may have produced great devotees and great fighters. Be that as it may, the potential pioneers will take off. There will be for all intents and purposes no development. Feelings of anxiety will likewise be increments.

Probability No 2: Effective talking and undivided attention.

This is the ideal blend for the Leader. The focal point of the pioneer and of the association will stay in the front line. Things will happen quickly. Devotion of representatives will increment. Utilization of brain and capacity to appreciate the work will acquire more leaps forward, more advancement. Individuals will work together with each other and furthermore contend with each other. The best will bloom with the pioneer’s powerful discourse and undivided attention. An environment of maintainable initiative will win.

Possibility No. 3: Poor talking however undivided attention.

It will add up to absence of core interest. Additionally, exercise in futility and cash. There will be pushed on administration by boards of trustees. Individuals may get the feeling that anything goes.
In the interim, undivided attention will likewise bring about positives. The worker will turn out to be more self-communicated. Use of brain by them will increment. There would be more noteworthy advancement.

Plausibility No. 4: Poor talking and poor tuning in.

It will be only moderate demise. The demise of material factories can be credited to this disorder. Misjudging, clashes will run, and openings will be remembered fondly. There would be a high rate of wearing down. Separation will bring about fracture lastly elimination.
Simply scrutinizing the above conceivable outcomes would shake us from our sleep. The significance of correspondence will then be completely figured it out. In this way, I will manage the two parts of correspondence – great talking and great tuning in.

Great or Effective Speaking:

As a matter of first importance, it is necessary to have solid substance. Content is the King. Viable correspondence considers more than some other part of administration or even life. Content means space learning. You can’t trick individuals with shallow contemplations, substantially less awe them. A ton of diligent work goes into procuring learning. The most serious issue is seen when you have beneficial learning yet you can’t utilize it further bolstering your good fortune because of the absence of compelling discourse. Your appearance stays debilitated. Individuals would scarcely realize that you are a storage facility of valuable data.
At that point, what would it be a good idea for you to do? Turn into a decent speaker. Practice the craftsmanship and exploration of talking obviously, unhesitatingly and convincingly.
How would you talk unmistakably? You should comprehend that discourse is the aftereffect of choice to convey. In the first place thought clears up the thought you need to extend to the audience or to a gathering of audience members. At that point the mind sends a flag to the lungs and some breath is discharged. Breath strikes the vocal harmonies to deliver sound. However, the words are made by the discourse organs. So with a specific end goal to talk unmistakably, think obviously. Develop profound breathing with the goal that the lungs have adequate breath to help the quality of your voice. This will likewise empower you to talk longer sentences without taking in the middle. The stream of discourse will empower thoughts to stream easily.

Undivided attention:

Correspondence does not mean just viable talking. Actually, it is the starting point. In any case, considerably more imperative is undivided attention. Undivided attention will realize the outcomes that you are searching for when you are speaking with somebody or a gathering of audience members. How might you impact others? By tuning in, rather than by talking. How would you discover whether you are a decent motivator to your audience or not? I give beneath a check list which is plain as day:
  1. Don’t consider what you will state next when someone else is talking. Simply center on understanding and acclimatizing what he/she needs to state.
  2. You must tune in with a receptive outlook. Try not to attempt to co-relate your own particular comparable experience when somebody is relating a story in help of his contention. You propensity to assess ought to be given an interruption. Never be judgmental, as it’s been said.
  3. When you are tuning in, endeavor to reproduce rationally what the other individual is stating unbiased.
  4. Try to see things from the speaker’s perspective. Understand be merciful while tuning in.
  5. Try to reveal the plan of the speaker. All speakers may not be laconic. Their verbosity may require some additional your part to comprehend the goal. Endeavor.
  6. Think what comes about you can deliver through listening instead of through talking. In the event that you need to impact individuals, you will be flabbergasted to watch how listening proves to be useful.
  7. Listen a moment longer than it is agreeable. That additional moment will give you additional info. Regardless, you are having a discourse for understanding the other’s perspective.
  8. Last yet not the slightest, you should recall that your expressions of counsel will be viewed as baseless clamor. Never give a guidance unless requested. On the off chance that you are not persuaded and the circumstance requests that you should express your perspectives, do that idiom – we settle on a truce!

Think before you talk:

Older folks used to state that straightforward old ‘idioms’ can control you to carry on with a fruitful life. One such saying in Hindi is “Pehle Tol Phir Bol”.
Strict interpretation in English would be “First measure at that point talk”.
Strict English interpretation is somewhat unbalanced and does not pass on the plan. “Think before you talk” as well, as indicated by me doesn’t convey a similar importance and is fairly ineffectual. “Before talking a couple of words one must think about the impacts and their future effect” seems to pass on the idea behind the same, however it doesn’t appear to convey conviction.
Why there is such a great amount of significance of ‘considering’ or reflecting before talking? What number of us is extremely following this straightforward standard? It is said that the tongue which is the main organ of discourse mends greatly quick. In any case, the injuries that it can make in the brain of the audience at times never recuperate.

Discourse Blemishes that Wreck Confidence

Discourse was never as essential as it is currently. Today, it’s vital that business pioneers must have the capacity to talk plainly and viably. There are various discourse imperfections which cause shame while making introductions. Now and again an official in a critical discussion gets himself/herself not exactly ‘up to the stamp’. This is best stayed away from. I list underneath 7 of the imperfections which should be tended to.
  1. Lack of lucidity in discourse: Often times we find that the discourse of a man isn’t as eloquent as it ought to be. At some point they talk too quick; in some cases they murmur a few words in a sentence. Despite the fact that general message is imparted however clarity becomes a missing virtue.
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Ethos, Pathos & Logos

3 Prime Parameters of Public Speaking.
Public Speaking has been considered very important ever since society started its cultural journey, hundreds of years ago. But Public Speaking is difficult and the public speaker faces many problems, real and assumed ones.
Today, I will talk about three chief parameters of an effective speech. These three form the litmus test of a good speech.
We need just to remember three words- Ethos Pathos and Logos. These Latin words are easy to remember. It was Greek philopber and speaker Cicero who gave the speaking fraternity these 3 dictums which hold ground even after hundreds of years.
What is Ethos? It is your credibility. Ethos tells the audience that you are chosen to speak to them on a particular subject because you are the most deserving candidate at that moment. Unless you are a celebrity and unless the host has adequately introduces you, it falls upon your shoulders to inform and convince the audience that you are a great choice. You can do this by talking about your experience, about your being fully conversant with the subject and by quoting reference of positive feedbacks that you might have received.

Pathos is the need of your audience. What are they looking for from the presentation you have promised to make? You may also like to know the number of people and their profile. Besides, you can understand from your research what will interest those most? The host is equally interested in making the event worth its while. So having a chat about what you are going to speak and what the audience expects from you will be time well spent. Acquire such information sooner than later. It will help you to prepare your speech well in advance. Even a highly rated public speaker need to give orientation to his speech after defining the audience. Until you become such a speaker that whatever you speak is happily accepted.

Logos: Lastly I will explain about meaning of Logos. It implies how well you construct your arguments. Whatever you speak has to be supported by some examples and by some logical arguments. These have to be convincing and interesting. But you have to look at these from the point of view of your audience. You have to step into their shoes to understand it well. More importantly, the audience or the majority people in the audience should be able to connect with your statements.
And of course you have to speak clearly in a well modulated voice.
Thanks for reading.

3 Tips on Developing a Good Presentation

We all have to make presentations these days. Presentations, when we have to speak in Public. Undoubtedly, it is difficult and often avoided slyly. There could be various reasons, but the foremost among them is ‘Stage Fright’. Primarily stage fright occurs because of inadequate preparation and/or because of faulty preparation.
Today, I will give you 3 important tips which will help you to prepare a good presentation.

Be clear about Objective:

The first tip is that you must be clear about your objective. Why you have been asked to speak on the subject and why you have accepted the invitation? Both must be understood and realized. The best thing is to write it down. What is the expectation of your audience is something of cardinal importance. So, contemplate on it and note down the main points. It may require you to define the group, the profile, age group, gender mix, no of people, likes and dislikes or whatever other information you can gather.

Content is the King:

The next and critical step is the content. Even when you know the subject very well, you have to modify it every time you speak regarding the same subject. Redesign it, keeping in view your new audience and their objectives. Content is the king. It you don’t have anything significant to say, anything which will improve then knowledge or something they can use in their daily life; then keep your mouth shut. In short, there must be good amount of takeaway from your speech for your audience.

Express Effectively:

The third but most important part of your speech is your ability to express yourself effectively. Never think of impressing anyone. But you just have to express yourself. You should be able to communicate exactly what you have in mind. You are already clear about your objective and the objective of your audience. You have already gather information which will interest them. You already know what you are going to give them as takeaways. But if you lose out in holding their attention, if your audience is not hooked by you on the subject, all knowledge might get wasted.
So, the third and the vital tip is master your verbal skills.
Thanks for reading.

4 Main Reasons for Saddening Stress and Why we must have Literary Break!

The mind that is anxious about the future is miserable. There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality.
-Seneca 4 B.C.? 65 A.D.
Anxiety is the worst habit of human personality. In fact one only needs to be concerned about any untoward situation, but that should never lead us to worry about anything that may happen. It is said that the fear of death is worse than death. Often, many fatal mistakes may also be made because of fear of uncertainty.
Anxiety is also called the parent of many sins. In spite of the fact that we all know that negative thinking, worry or anxiety never help, yet we fall prey to these atrocious daemons. In a world where everything is doubtful, and where we may be disappointed, and yet at times be blessed in the very disappointment, why this restless stir and commotion of mind? Can it alter the cause? No. Can it unravel the mystery? No. Can these negative habits resolve any of our woes? No. Then why do we become the cause of our own sufferings?
The reason is not far to seek. The idiotic rat race that we are run like marathon runners is the main culprit.
So we are all stressed. We don’t like anything. Further even we may start thinking that the life doesn’t have any significance and therefore it’s an unnecessary burden.
That makes stress management a critical subject of personal management and business management. Due to the ever pervading stress, we lose touch with literature arts and all other finer things of life which act as the stress busters or which may even change our negative attitude which makes anybody’s life miserable.
Other reasons of stress are as below:
  1. Because of the impossible targets the company you are working for; you are expected to achieve. In turn, you lose perspective and don’t care fore the work life balance. You only slog for achieving your sales or other such performance targets.
  2. Thus the professional, today, has only one goal for which he has to slog day and night and that is keeping the job secure which is necessary to run your family, to make both ends meet somehow.
  3. Due to no break from the rut, efficiency drastically suffers and the pressure on poor man increases. The business owner doesn’t realize this. There is a stark competition out there and the CEO has to produce numbers to satisfy his hungry business owners who are always concerned with the valuation of the company.
  4. After day’s hard work, when he returns home the only entertainment, he turns to is television. Unfortunately instead of receiving any solace, he is bombarded with only negative news. Negative news about rapes, murders, scams, fatal accidents and the like. These are all delivered in high voltage manner where reporters compete with one another to use high pitch mind disturbing voice. After all they only concerned with the TRPs.
With a view to bring some relief to the sad situation of those who suffer from the above ills, I offer a break from the mundane routine. I give below a famous poem of William Wordsworth. The words chosen by the poet create music just as imagery used creates a beautiful enlightening theme. You may enjoy reading it aloud.

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
By William Wordsworth
I wandered lonely, as a cloud
That floats on high, o’er vales and hills,
When all at once, I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing, in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched, in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I, at a glance,
Tossing their heads, in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not, but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth, the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Thanks for reading.
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