Low self-esteem can be a formidable barrier to personal and professional growth. It affects how we perceive ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. However, the good news is that overcoming it is possible—and it’s a vital step toward achieving our full potential.
Here are some strategies to help you boost your self-esteem:
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself as you would a friend. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. This simple act fosters a kinder inner dialogue.
Set Realistic Goals: Break down your objectives into achievable tasks. Celebrating small wins can significantly enhance your confidence and reinforce the belief that you are capable of success.
Seek Feedback: Constructive feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors allows for growth and improvement. It also helps you gain perspective on your strengths and areas for development.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Engage with people who uplift you. Building a supportive network can counter negative self-talk and remind you of your worth.
Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities for learning. Viewing failures as stepping stones to success can shift your perspective and foster resilience.
Why Self-Esteem is Crucial for Growth:
Increased Resilience: Individuals with high self-esteem are often better equipped to face challenges, viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than endings.
Enhanced Creativity: A strong sense of self allows individuals to voice their ideas confidently, leading to innovation and improvement within a team or organization.
Improved Relationships: Healthy self-esteem fosters respect and empathy towards others, leading to more meaningful and productive relationships, both personally and professionally.
Career Advancement: Confidence in one’s skills and abilities can lead to taking initiative, pursuing new opportunities, and advocating for oneself—all crucial for career development.
Remember, the journey to overcoming low self-esteem takes time, but every step you take is a step towards a more fulfilling life. Let’s encourage each other to believe in our capabilities and chase our aspirations!
Education is necessary, but skills are essential. Unfortunately, our education system per se is such that it hardly helps an individual develop skills. Much less the skills, I think, are most important for living life happily and successfully. I am talking about following two skills in particular –
Skill of managing self.
Skill of managing relationships.
A child is born with some tendencies which may have a lot to do with his/her parentage. What is his father’s attitude to life, what is that of his mother, and more importantly how is their relationship with each other. While these factors continue to have their influence on the growth of the child, various other influences start playing an important role during the growing years. The teacher, the class mates, friends, relatives, and neighbors – all influence the child. It is hard to say how much these help in developing either of the two skills which I have mentioned above – skill with self, and skill with other people. So what should be done? What are the best steps that can be taken by all concerned for developing both these skills – skill with self & skill with people? The education system, as it is today, can hardly help. Teachers are bound by the curriculum and the parents may not be able to find the time from their busy schedule in the modern competitive life. But the ever growing media today can play a very important role provided parents are able to guide and regulate the exposure and use of the media by the child. The significance of Internet must not be undermined. All the knowledge required is available on the net. But one may say that a skill cannot be delivered by the information/knowledge on the net. Yes it is true to a large extent. Yet, YouTube presentations and other interactive programs make it possible to learn a lot from the net. In times to come, I am sure; the growth of the social media with websites focusing on special subjects will bring about a revolution in the concept of education and training. The need is that the parents, teachers and mentors motivate learners to be focused and stick to what they need to do. They should not be distracted. Developing skill with yourself, to me, means your ability to listen and talk to your own self. It also means to understand your heart, identify what you really like. Thereafter, one needs to concentrate one’s energies towards these. You must leverage your talent and your fondness. Developing skill with people, simple means to understand basic human psychology. Your interaction with them should never ignore the following fundamental principles;
That each person is interested in himself/herself more than you.
That I, me, mine put people off.
That making people talk makes them feel important.
That when you win an argument you lose a friend.
That listening attentively to others will impress them. They like you most when you do that
That you need to skillfully convince people. If you say something that is obviously to your advantage, people will be skeptical. So do it differently. Say how an important third person appreciated your products/efforts/services. This will help build confidence in the minds of people about you.
The word success as defined in the dictionary means “ the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” . True as it is but definition of the word success changes from person to person. Every individual’s definition of success is different. And why Not? We all have different aims, objectives, goals and purpose of life. And accomplishment of those would mean SUCCESS to each one of us. Though there is no common definition of success many successful people have presented their views on success. Let us now understand what success meant to them and how best we can add to our success from their experiences.A writer, statesman and a leader as he was Winston Churchill who has contributed immensely to the Britain’s victory in World War II has quoted that “Success is not final, Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts”. Isn’t it true? Many people think that if you fail at something , it is the end of your life. The suicidal stories you hear after the academic results are declared clearly indicate people’s attitude towards failure. The quote mentioned above re instills the value of courage to continue the effort in spite of several failures. In short, perseverance is one of the keys to success. When one wants to achieve something one should turn deaf ears to what people say about your endeavors . Because as the quote goes,” At first they will ask why you are doing it ;But later they will ask How did you do it? Yes, this is especially important for the people who are torch bearers. Torch bearers are people who attempt to tread the less taken path and are the first ones to do so. When you are pursuing something different and novel, skeptic people always try to ask the validity of such pursuit. Well, if you are convinced about your effort and are ready to give in your hundred percent you will be successful at it. And then the same people would ask you the ways in which you tried to achieve such an untapped feat. Life is a mix of good and bad times. We are successful sometimes and sometimes we do fail. The most important thing in life is to “Be thankful for hard times as they have made you.” Hard times are testing times. Failures should be visualized as a lesson. I t is rightly said,” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”! Every struggle to get successful will make you wiser and stronger. While achieving success it is important that you put your heart , mind and soul into excelling at what you have undertaken. If needed you have to sacrifice a lot in order to achieve something great.
Swami Sivananda has rightly pinpointed the secret of success. He quotes ,” Put your heart , soul and mind into even your smallest acts”.
It is also very evident that there is no
shortcut to success. It is well known that there is “No elevator to success.
You have to take the stairs.” Hard work in proper direction definitely yields
success. ease everybody.
Success is a result of focus, hard work, learning from failure , loyalty and persistence .
Indeed when you strives to excel at certain thing you are bound to be successful. When you balance your hard work with persistence and loyalty the end result will be none other than SUCCESS. Nelson Mandela quotes” Don’t judge me by success but how many times I fell down and got back again”.If you have persevering attitude in life, nothing can stop you from being successful. Perseverancefffffff is a factor which differentiates between success and failure. Success is , thus, relative to each individual. Unfortunately, many people don’t have goals at any time in life. Life is very short and the most important thing in life to be successful is to set some goals. What is a life without goals? People misconstrue goals to be only related to career and finances. Well, negating that opinion you can categorize goals as:
Career
goals,
Financial goals,
Health goals,
Family goals and
Goals for society
Hobby Goals
And Spiritual Goals
You
have to take charge and set goals for yourself. The priority of goals would
differ from person to person. You may feel family and health goals are more
important than the rest of the goals. An ambitious person may prioritize on
career and financial goals. Hobby goals are the goals which are meant for
yourself satisfaction. Society plays an important role in everyone’s life. You
should also set some goals which will benefit the society. It is a way to give
back to the society where you belong.
Maslow’s pyramid of self motivation has the self actualization need at the top of it! Spiritual goals help achieve that need of a person. While setting up goals make sure that your goals are SMART. SMART Goals mean
S- Specific M-Measurable A-Achievable R-Realistic T-Time bound Well, to achieve success be specific about what you want to achieve. The goals should have some yardstick against which you can measure your success. You should always have realistic goals and not unbelievable ones. An example of setting a goal could be “ I want to reduce my weight by 1.5 kgs in a matter of 15 days. Once you do that you can start working over it by chalking out a plan and then executing the same. Always check on what you have achieved against what you wanted to achieve And keep on bridging the gap, if any. When diligently persevered, success becomes a habit!!
In life it is necessary to have some beliefs. That does not mean that you need to follow any dogma or belief forced on you.
Believe in yourself. You can pick your own beliefs with discretion. First, let us understand what is self-belief. What are the qualities that it inherits? Self belief is an invaluable virtue which brings great possibilities in your life. Its indications are that you:
Some of the benefits of believing in yourself are: i) Stop making any excuses for any reason what-so-ever. ii) Do not indulge in any negative thought. iii) Stop thinking that difficulties surround you alone. You do not jump to conclusion and take hasty actions. You express your fears to others without any hesitation, because you keep in mind that everyone has some fears. iv) You stop procrastinating because that is indicative of your lack of confidence. v) Stop pursing perfection. Perfection is never achieved. It only stops you from moving ahead.
You have to motivate yourself for self- belief once you develop self belief and you observe that you conform to all what has been said above, you will find the following eight advantages coming to you smoothly and seamlessly.
1) Self-belief enables you to hold strong conviction. All things do not happen the way you have planned or the way you expect. But strong conviction will help you to move ahead without fear of failure. Conviction in a leader is an incredibly valuable yet increasingly rare trait. It’s in short supply because our brains are wired to overreact to uncertainty with fear. As uncertainty increases, the brain shifts control over to the limbic system, the place where emotions, such as anxiety and panic, are generated.
2) Self belief also helps you develop optimistic attitude. which is necessary today in the wake of fast changing world. Life is becoming extremely competitive. Any opportunity missed once may never come back again. But if you have a negative attitude you will not be able to catch the fleeting possibilities. So it is necessary to rely on your self confidence .Importance of self-confidence should never be undermined.
3) Your self-belief also makes you more reliable to others. Thus you tend to build up better relations with others. This is another benefit of self-confidence at your workplace. Your credibility is not question. Since people can trust you they vie for good relations with you. Needless to say that for any significant project you need help from others. Self-belief necessitates that you’re willing to change course and change opinions. It requires you to listen to others and take their view point into account without feeling attacked.
4) Self-belief also helps you to be focused and self motivated. You no longer take life as it comes. You don’t depend on unknown sources to bring you luck. You carve your own destiny. Self motivation helps you to maintain enthusiasm and interest in life. A motivated person tends to ask more questions and devote more time to discovering the answers. If you are the kind of person who actively pursues your personal interests, you’ll find it easier to naturally acquire the skills and knowledge you need to design a life that’s more in alignment with your goals and dreams.
5) Your risk taking ability improves if you believe yourself. It is said that there are no gains if there are no risks. Your conviction helps you to take calculated risks in meeting the challenges of life. The tendency to avoid and escape facing challenging situation reduces substantially. You start realizing that difficulties form a necessary part of life. Your self confidence is very important for your success in every field.
6) Further, self-belief enables you to give and receive constructive criticism with an open mind. In the current scenario exchange of ideas and views are extremely important. The autocratic leader is not acceptable any more. So if you want to progress you have to collaborate with others from your own organization or outside outfits. Although both forms are challenging your ideas, character or ability, when someone is giving destructive criticism it can hurt your pride and have negative effects on your self-esteem and confidence.
7) Self-belief helps you to be more assertive. You start caring for yourself more than pleasing others. Someone said that he doesn’t know any formula of how to succeed. The sure short formula for success has never been discovered. But there is a firm unbeatable formula for failure and that is trying to please everyone. Your self-belief will not allow you to embark on the journey of securing approvals where these are not mandatory.
8) last but not the least, you start working on improving yourself respect. You realize that if you do not respect yourself, others will follow suit. When you’re in need to raise self esteem, you become more effective and you become more productive. Now, you start managing your time very effectively as any improper or inadequate use of your time will hurt your self-esteem. People with good self-esteem generally feel positive about themselves, and about life and good self-esteem contributes towards your well- being and happiness.
Lack of Confidence First of fall we need to understand the reason for lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is due to a fear of one kind or another (mostly unfounded). As an American wrote, “my life was full of misfortunes which never happened”.
Of course, one need not be reckless. Yet, harboring fear never helps. We need to think rationally and pen down what makes us afraid and why. This process helps remove some of the fear and begins the path of building confidence.
A famous Management Guru one said that there are four ‘C’s which form the foundation of an individual’s growth and a Company’s progress. These four virtues are – Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Consistency. The most important of these happen to be Confidence. If absence of confidence the other virtues will simply disappear. It is said that “they conquer who believe they can”. Self-belief is thus the second important factor in building up confidence. Confidence emerging out of self-belief is necessary for any significant achievement. New opportunities always carry some incidence of chance. For taking any initiative you must be prepared to take calculated risk. In fact not taking any risk is the biggest risk of life.
Further, Confidence enables you to trust yourself. And if you don’t trust yourself, nobody else will. No one will feel secure in placing any responsibility on you. That will be the dead end. There is no further growth. Lost Opportunities Often we do not see opportunities because we are not interested. On the face of it, lack of desire acts as a strong handicap in our progress and growth. But, Confidence trains our mind to desire what the situation demands. It makes us alert enough to recognize and seize emerging opportunities. With desire created by confidence we look ahead, strive hard and succeed
Confidence breeds courage For taking risk of any kind one needs to have courage. If we have confidence; we will be able to rise up to the demands of the situation. So we must go ahead and take calculated risk. Courage enables us to move ahead! Yet, if there is no confidence it will be very difficult to harness courage.
Smile Most people lack self-confidence. You can help them! Smile. Your smile will reassure them. You will be doing a great job helping them to gain confidence. This is particularly true when somebody is meeting a new group of people. We must also remember that the more we are helping others to gain confidence, the more we enhance our own self-confidence! We help ourselves too!!! Thanks for reading.
Background:
An intensive full day programme offering training on important aspects of verbal communication. This programme covers various exercises that focus on the development of Public Speaking Skills with additional inputs on Voice & Speech enhancement. Video Recording and role-play enhance the interactivity and the effectiveness of the programme. These are further supplemented by specific suggestions on areas of improvement to each candidate. Details of the programme are offered below. Objectives:
Help raise level of consciousness about voice in communication
Development of Modulation in tone of Voice
Control over nervousness/hesitation etc.
Refinement in Communication
Fluency in speech; and overall clarity in communication.
Poise & Confidence in appearance.
Contents:
Communication & Presentation Skills:
Voice & Speech Training
Building better breath control
Enhancement of capacity of voice.
Effectively using Modulation of Voice
Developing cordiality in voice.
Public Speaking Training
2-Minute & 5-Minute presentations
Video Recording & Play Back Sessions
Preparing a Presentation – Developing the Structure
Keeping the Presentation on Track – focus on important points
Including the right content
Connecting with the audience
Handling Stage Fright
Trainer’s Feedback:
Personal Feedback on performances
Counseling & Guidance on areas of individual improvement
Articulation in Communication
Handling Q & As effectively
Avoiding verbosity – Sticking to the issue
Ensuring an appropriate tone of voice in speech
Focus on Speaking Sentences
Commercials: Duration : One full day of training Timing : 9.00am to 5.30 pm Venue : Nimble Centre, 318/3rd floor, Tulsiani Chembers, Free press road, Nariman Point,
Mumbai – 400021. With regards, Satish Kakri Director, Nimble Foundation Contact: 022 22810000/9930527551. Email ID: info@nimblefoundation.org Web: www.nimblefoundation.org
Stage fright has been troubling people from the times armorial. One wants to speak to a group, to express himself or herself, they have the ideas and want to share knowledge but the stage fright scares them.
What is stage fright and how does it operate?
I’ll describe six stages of stage fright to explain in totality why and how it takes place. After understanding the root cause of the problem, I will also give suggestions as to how you can avoid stage fright. This video has been prepared for all those friends who are afflicted by the demon called stage fright, but do not know how to avoid, how to overcome or how to conquer this enemy of the human confidence.
Stage 1:
It starts no sooner you accept the assignment of making a speech. After confirming, you start thinking why did you agree? You are not a public presentation. What if you tail to come up to the expectation of the audience? You will make a tool of yourself and for no reason. Instead of sitting downer and preparing, you harbor these negative thoughts unmil you get involved in your activities.
Stage 2:
These constant negative thoughts start scaring you. You feel something ominous is ahead of you, recollection of the previous occasions when you could not perform well bring a kind of misery. Efforts to prepare the speech even when you sit down to write do not bring positive results. What happens next? What does it lead to?
Stage 3:
Fear provoking thoughts make you anxious. The anxiety starts working. It breeds worry making it extremely difficult to prepare a proper speech. For sure, there are more negative thoughts. And that leads the stage 4.
Stage 4:
You anxiety is increased with deepening fear and non-preparation. The problem grows and disturbs your logical thinking. But now it’s a point of no return. Some days have passed and there is no way you can come out of the predicament. Then it leads to stage5.
Stage 5:
Focus on fears, anxiety and worry cause distraction. This makes the task even more difficult. But somehow you prepare the speech. It doesn’t even appeal to you. But you can do nothing. So you are ready but with a substandard speech.
Stage 6:
You are on the stage. You are nervous. Whatever you had prepared, even that plays hide and seek with you. You start making the same mistakes which you had predicted. Your legs shake, hands shiver voice cracks. Instead of 15 minute speech you could last only for 5 to 6 minutes. Your enemy stage fright had the day of celebration. It had won. You come down as a defeated person.
Now, let me tell you how to tame this wild bull, your victor – the stage fright. I’ll briefly but clearly explain the five steps formula to beat your enemy down.
Step One:
The day you agree to speak, on the same day you should note down the points which you will like to project. Whatever you know is fine. Google out the rest. Having the points is just like collecting your ammunition.
Step Two:
Next day, you go through these points a number of times. You may find some of them not so lethal while you find others like dynamites. Retain the dynamites and throw away the weaklings. Don’t keep anything extra. Now, you are ready to wage a war. You have all the weapons.
Step Three:
Again you go through the points you have now collected. As you have slept over them for 2days, you will find it very easy to put them in proper order. One naturally will lead to another and you will have a good sketon for your speech. It is the framework of your final delivery. Just like a general of an army strategizes the attack and keep ready to wage a war against your abominable enemy stage fright. This done, you must visualize yourself as the victor in the mar. See yourself battling away all the enemies, big and small.
Step Four:
Just visualization will not help. It will inspire to put in all the hard work that lies ahead. Now, for balance days that you have, you must practice, practice and practice. Since it’s your first big battle no am omit of practice is too much. Practice as much as you can but also some more.
Step Five:
On the day of reckoning go to the appointed place at least ½ an hour early. Meet organizers and others who have come. Talk to them informally. You know your subject in and out. You have practiced your speech more number of times than anyone can imagine. You are sure to come out as a winner. Stage fright will be scared of you and you will rock the stage. Wherever there is applause allow people to have their way. Don’t limit their appreciation. Thank them with you facial expression and then centinue. At the end receive compliments grace fully and not sheepishly.
As a child, I always felt that I lacked confidence. Even now, in some situations I find that I do not measure up to my expectations. Yet, I have always admired confident people and I continue to do.
Considering that Confidence is a very importance part of our lives, I often contemplate about it.
This happened at the Delhi Airport. I had checked-in well in advance, as per my habit. I was waiting to board the flight to Mumbai. As usual I was looking around to find confident people. There were many men and women well dressed, upright and looking satisfied with their lives. But there was one gentleman who appeared exceptional. He was immaculately dressed in a dark grey suit. His broad shoulders and  with his chin-up added to his confident look. As I was brooding the flight was announced and we all boarded the plane.
It was a comfortable smooth flight. All the usual things – the in flight safety demonstrations, service of snacks, tea and coffee went off very well. Soon it was the time to reach Mumbai. The air-hostess announced that the plane would land at Mumbai airport in a few minutes. Then something happened. Instead of descending the plane went up and started going round in circles. After about ten minutes everyone got restless. People were looking around and trying to understand what was happening. I closed my eyes and started praying. Still, the plane continued to hover in mid-air.
Suddenly, I thought of this very confident tall man I saw at the Delhi airport. Looking around I found that he was perhaps the most restless soul on the flight at that moment. He was holding his handkerchief in one hand furiously wiping the perspiration, sometimes from the forehead and sometimes from his cheeks. With closed eyes he was looking up and down. At times he would put his hand in the pocket, as if he were trying to search for something. I could see all this because he occupied an aisle seat on the opposite side just two rows behind. In my futile endeavor of observing him, I had somehow forgotten my fears.
And then the Pilot came out of his cabin, walked to the middle of gangway, and stopped there. He did something and then went back. Shortly thereafter another landing announcement was made. The plane landed safely and all of us got down.
I realized that the confidence of a person is not only about posture, looks, and dress. A dressed, and the way he behavior, it is something more. In fact, a lot more. Real confidence is tested when there is a crisis how you remain cools at the time.
I realized that the confidence of a person is not only about posture, looks, dress and behavior, but it is something more. In fact, a lot more! Real confidence is tested when there is a crisis. How you remain cool at the time of crisis shows how confident you are.
Concentration is a way of life;
affects every action and your strife.
Sane habits that show,
distractions don’t grow.
Energizing your mind making calm and clear,
empowers you to work without fear.
When you think of only objective,
mental processes become active.
Nothing else you think or see,
Your mind moves in glee and you’re free.
Razor’s Edge
One doesn’t have
to be scared
to walk on the razor’s edge.
Instead, develop a skill
and confidence that will instill,
To cope up with dangers of life
Empowering you for the constant strife.
That life is made of not in vain,
you conquer complexities without any pain
And if for unexpected eventualities
You couldn’t care less
Sooner or later
You will land in a
Deep, deep mess!
In spite of the law against ragging in schools and college, the problem seems to have gone unabated. Some Institutions have taken many initiatives at their level but the results are far from satisfactory. Schools in U.S.A. also suffer this problem. But the reasons there are often different. Children of different races study together. Oftentimes problems take place due to racism. Unfortunately in India too, the bullies have become rampant which results in extremely unwarranted results. Bullied students lose their confidence. Self esteem suffers to such an extent that it lasts years after such incidents have taken place.
Due to the current education system which is a continuation of the education policy by the British who wanted to breed meek white collar workers and clerks the children are not assertive. Many brilliant students who are excellent in their study find it difficult to express themselves. How to be assertive? They don’t even know.
In such a situation, the only remedy lies in encouraging professionals & academies wich have specialised in the area of personality development and other related soft skills. We have a special skills development ministry. Hard skills areas are duly covered in their various programmes. But soft skills do not feature as essentials. Needless to say that it is essential that people must have an appreciable ability to express themselves.
Hope necessary steps will be taken in this direction by the concerned authorities.
Language and speech should be a part of curriculum of all professional colleges. Good communication is an essential pillar of a developed nation. And so, it need to be recognized.
Thanks for reading.
