Tag: Personality

How to Implement Assertiveness for Developing your PowerPacked Personality?

Hurdles that come in the way

Overcoming hurdles, whether they are personal, professional, or social, is a common challenge everyone faces. Here are some of the main types of hurdles and strategies to address them:

1. Personal Hurdles

Emotional Challenges: Dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem.

  • Strategies: Seeking therapy or counseling, practicing mindfulness and meditation, engaging in physical activities, and building a support network.

Health Issues: Chronic illnesses or sudden health problems.

  • Strategies: Following medical advice, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and seeking support from family and friends.

Lack of Motivation: Feeling unmotivated or facing burnout.

  • Strategies: Setting small, achievable goals, celebrating small wins, finding purpose in tasks, and taking breaks to recharge.

2. Professional Hurdles

Career Stagnation: Lack of growth opportunities or feeling stuck in a job.

  • Strategies: Seeking additional training or education, networking, setting career goals, and exploring new job opportunities.

Workplace Conflict: Issues with colleagues or supervisors.

  • Strategies: Effective communication, seeking mediation, maintaining professionalism, and finding common ground.

Work-life Balance: Difficulty managing work and personal life.

  • Strategies: Prioritizing tasks, setting boundaries, delegating when possible, and taking time for self-care.

3. Social Hurdles

Relationship Problems: Conflicts or misunderstandings with family, friends, or partners.

  • Strategies: Open and honest communication, empathy, seeking counseling, and spending quality time together.

Social Anxiety: Fear of social situations or interactions.

  • Strategies: Gradual exposure to social situations, practicing social skills, seeking therapy, and joining social groups or clubs.

4. Educational Hurdles

Learning Difficulties: Struggling with certain subjects or concepts.

  • Strategies: Seeking tutoring, using different learning methods, breaking down complex topics, and practicing regularly.

Time Management: Balancing studies with other responsibilities.

  • Strategies: Creating a schedule, prioritizing tasks, avoiding procrastination, and using time management tools.

5. Financial Hurdles

Debt and Financial Stress: Managing debt, living paycheck to paycheck, or financial emergencies.

  • Strategies: Creating a budget, seeking financial advice, prioritizing debt repayment, and exploring additional income sources.

Unemployment: Losing a job or difficulty finding employment.

  • Strategies: Updating your resume, improving job search skills, networking, and considering temporary or part-time work.

6. External Hurdles

Discrimination or Bias: Facing unfair treatment based on race, gender, age, or other factors.

  • Strategies: Reporting incidents, seeking support from advocacy groups, staying informed about rights, and fostering inclusive environments.

Environmental Factors: Natural disasters, lack of resources, or unstable living conditions.

  • Strategies: Preparing emergency plans, seeking assistance from organizations, and advocating for better conditions.

Benefits of being assertive

Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view. It can also help you do this while respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others’ respect. This can help with stress management. It may especially help you reduce stress if you tend to take on too many responsibilities because you have a hard time saying no. Some people seem to be naturally assertive. But if you’re not assertive, you can learn to be.

Four steps of being assertive

1. THE SITUATION

The situation is the antecedent.  When you refer to the precipitating event, think of it as verbally holding up a mirror to the other person so he or she can see his or her reflection.  In order to do this, you need to be specific.  If it is something the other person has done, you need to describe the behavior exactly.  If it is something the other person has said, you need to quote it as precisely as possible.

2. THE FEELING

Next, you will want to say how you feel in reaction to the situation.  This is the most important part of the formula.  This is the part that will encourage the listener to hear what you are saying. A simple demonstration is to start a sentence with “You.”  If you say, “You . . .” it really does not matter what you say after that.  The other person will be building a defense and not listening. However, if you start with “I feel,” most likely the other person will be curious enough to listen.  Note that saying, “I feel that you,” still is a you statement.

3. THE EXPLANATION

That is why the third part of the formula is necessary. It is the bridge or connection between the event and your feeling. It always is the thought process that led to the feeling.  What was your thought that led to feeling sad about being tapped on the arm? If you thought being tapped on the arm was rude, that would not explain being sad.  If you remember your mother telling you that if someone treats you rudely, that person is not a real friend and you conclude that the person who tapped you on the arm must not be a real friend, that would explain why you felt sad. By way of explanation, it is necessary to divulge the whole truth of your thought process and not just a portion of it.  Part three is the part most people find difficult because they do not make the entire explanation.

4. THE REQUEST

At this point, the listener understands what you are feeling and why.  However, the reaction is something along the lines of “So?”  You need to give the listener something to which he or she can respond.  You need to make a request. Do you want an apology?  Do you want the listener to explain his or her behavior?  Do you want a hug?  By the time you make your request, it is clear what is behind your request. You need to make the request in the affirmative.  Say what it is you want rather than what you do not want. This is the step that distinguishes assertiveness from aggression and non-assertiveness. The difference is one of choices.  Aggression is taking all the choices for yourself and not giving the other person a choice.  Non-assertiveness is not taking a choice, but neither giving the other person a choice.  Assertiveness is taking a choice for yourself and giving the other person a choice as well.

Learning to be more assertive

Being assertive is a crucial communication skill that helps you express your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, direct, and respectful manner. Here are some steps and tips to help you become more assertive:

1. Understand Assertiveness

  • Definition: Assertiveness is about standing up for yourself while respecting others. It’s different from being aggressive (which disregards others’ feelings) and being passive (which disregards your own feelings).
  • Benefits: Improved self-esteem, better relationships, and reduced stress.

2. Assess Your Assertiveness

  • Reflect on your current communication style. Are you often passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive?
  • Identify situations where you find it hard to be assertive.

3. Learn to Say No

  • Practice saying no in a firm but polite manner.
  • Use statements like “I can’t take on that task right now” or “I’m not comfortable with this situation.”

4. Use “I” Statements

  • Express your feelings and needs using “I” statements to take ownership of your emotions without blaming others.
  • Example: “I feel frustrated when meetings start late because it disrupts my schedule.”

5. Practice Active Listening

  • Show that you are listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and summarizing what the other person said.
  • This helps build mutual respect and understanding.

6. Maintain Positive Body Language

  • Keep an open posture, make eye contact, and use a calm, clear voice.
  • Avoid crossing your arms or appearing closed off.

7. Manage Your Emotions

  • Stay calm and composed, especially in stressful situations.
  • Practice deep breathing or other relaxation techniques to keep your emotions in check.

8. Practice Assertive Communication

  • Role-play with a friend or use a mirror to practice your responses.
  • Start with less challenging situations and gradually move to more difficult ones.


    Thanks for reading.

10 Crucial aspects of Your Personality that will bring you Exceptional Success

Keep on enhancing your knowledge, behaviour and conduct.

Self Development is a very important aspect of the human being.
In today’s life the modern man finds himself trapped in a concrete jungle, living a rat race. This is a life full of stress, tensions and anxieties to be the star performer at the workplace, and to be perceived as an ideal son, husband and father at home.
In this continuing run, one tends to loose one’s sense of self. He finds himself loosing control over his live, powerless as he is to take corrective and remedial action. Such inability to do what is right and bring things back on track is largely caused by the lack of realization of what is wrong and what needs to be done.
The answer to this problem is Self Development.
But what is self development? As the term suggested it is bringing about all round improvement in one’s own self. A plain dictionary meaning of the term by itself would bring cold comfort to someone who really needs self development.
We therefore need to understand what self-development is by understanding what it implies. Self development can be best understood by examining its components. These are enumerated one by one:

  • Self awareness
  • Self knowledge
  • Communication
  • Career
  • Self potential
  • Health – physical and psychological
  • Social status
  • Social relations
  • Personality
  • Self belief 

1. Self awareness: What is self awareness?

Self awareness is the understanding of where one finds himself. What does he considers as his duty every moment of the day? How is he supposed to utilize each waking moment of his time? What should he say? How and to whom? A high sense of self awareness is seen in person who is proactive in thought, alert in mind and body and energetic in action. Such is person stays ahead in every situation.

2. Self knowledge:

Self knowledge flows from self awareness. Self knowledge enables a person to truly understand himself – his role and contribution to society. Self knowledge is also a self appraisal of the strengths and weaknesses of the personality and character on an ongoing basis. Self knowledge is also the knowledge of the inner universe of an individual – the knowledge of which is vital to successfully navigate the outer universe.

3. Communication:

Communication is the vehicle for building social relations. This was true in the days when technology and internet did not exist; but is has become even more true today when we are living in a deeply interconnected world. Communication has various aspects these are:

a). Thoughts and Ideas:Communication originates in the mind in the form of a thought which is translated into an idea to be expressed. A creative mind is fertile ground for positive expression, whereas a negative mind is minefield of hate filled negative communication.

b). Voice & Speech:The voice represents the emotion and the level of self confidence of the individual.  The speech represents the spoken words manifested by the eloquence or lack of it in expressing the ideas of the mind.

4. Morale, Self-confidence & Self Esteem:

What is morale? A high morale refers to a very positive state of mind of a person which is ever challenged into seeking increasing difficult tasks to achieve. Low morale represents the opposite  where all round pessimism pervades; and where procrastination and dreariness are the norm.
An individual’s morale depends upon his self-confidence. The self-confidence in turn depends upon the self-esteem of the individual. A person with low sense of self esteem has little self-confidence to do the simplest of tasks, while claiming both ownership and responsibility for the same. On the other hand a person with a high sense of self esteem always lunges forward, taking bold and calculated risks. Such a person always stretches himself in a quest to continuously improve his productivity, and sense of self fulfillment in his life and in his work.

5. Career:

Gone are the days when a person could take up a secure career in a government job and work until his retirement doing pretty much the same work. Today, career development has become very important in today’s very fast changing and dynamic world. This implies staying relevant with the changing times by adapting one’s skills and abilities to meet the changing requirements of society and the work place.

6. Potential:

Each one of us has a latent, immense and untapped potential which sadly few of us achieve. The main reason for remaining underachievers is equally to lack of self belief in our potential as also the knowledge that such a potential even exists. Self development really starts where we become aware of our immense potential and start taking positive steps to tap it and creatively utilize it.

7. Health:

Health has two aspects – physical and psychological. Good health commonly is commonly understood only as a state where the body remain free from ailments. There is general ignorance about the impact of an healthy mind (free of negative thoughts and emotions) on the physical health of an individual. It is often said a fit mind in a fit body. However, the reverse is equally true – a fit mind ensures that the body remains fit and free from many ‘lifestyle’ diseases.

8. Social Status:

Development of the social status refers to the upward move of individual on the social ladder. The craving for a high social status is considered the highest of the famous Manslow’s personal self actualization hierarchy. A high social status represents his desire for self actualization. Maslow describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be.

9. Social Relations:

Social relations determine the social status of a person. At the same time the person’s social status also determines his social relations. Development of the ability to develop social relations gives an individual the power to increase his ever widening circle of social contacts. This in turn enhances his power, his prestige, sense of self worth and most importantly his social status.
Personality : 
Personality Development seems to be the buzz word these days. While everyone likes to talk about it, few seem to truly understand. Development of one’s personality is more than adherence to a mere set of guidelines to be followed in terms of dos and don’ts. Personality has several important components that need to be understood and developed. These include:Posture: An erect posture signifies confidence, a positive forthright attitude, and a fit body that consciously receives large amount s of life giving oxygen into the lungs.

a). Body Language: This represents the non verbal communication that translates and conveys more than 80% of the message and is often more important than the spoken words.

b). Thoughts and self belief: Each individual creates his own universe through self-belief about himself and thoughts about others. Such thoughts and self beliefs either fashion a mind full of prejudice, hate and envy at the negative level or love, empathy and positivity on the other.

c). Attitude: It is said our attitude determines our altitude. Development of the attitude involves moving away from being negative about persons, and events and seeing some good in everything perceived as bad.

The above stated aspects of self development are by no means an exhaustive list of what one must do for oneself. At the same, these are not water tight compartments that need to be looked in isolation. Often development of a single area can have greater than proportionate effect in other areas. So what one essentially needs to do it to focus and try to better understand each and consciously inculcate the habit to bring about self improvements howsoever small for the overall objective of self development.

Implementing your goals

  1. Why do you set your goals? Let’s consider this basic question. The simple answer is that you are not happy with your present status and you want to improve. Now let’s consider who is responsible for your present status? Your circumstances, influence of your parents, teachers, friends, relatives, neighbor and all those who have been interacting with you. They have influenced you mind which in turn has influenced your actions and behavior. Over the years you have formed some habits. Triggered by your habits, you continue to do the same things over and over again. Your relationships with others remain the same. Nothing changes. Therefore you don’t own what you want; you don’t garner respect from others. Life is drudgery. Nothing to look forward to. You accept that this reality and you have to live with it. And then, you write down your goals. These could be about health, career, finance, family, hobby and even spirituality.
  2. Once we understand that you background and habits have brought you to a situation which you are not happy with, you need to do whatever it takes to change these influences and most importantly change your habits. You may not be able to change company of everyone around you, but you can choose to divide your time according to your choice.

10. Self-Belief

To be connected with earlier chapter.
In life it is necessary to have some beliefs. That does not mean that you need to follow any dogma or belief forced on you. You can pick your own beliefs with discretion. First, let us understand what is self-belief. What are the qualities that it inherits? Self belief is an invaluable virtue which brings great possibilities in your life. Its indications are that you:

  • Stop making any excuses for any reason what-so-ever.
  • Do not indulge in any negative thought.
  • Stop thinking that difficulties surround you alone. You do not jump to conclusion and take hasty actions. You express your fears to others without any hesitation, because you keep in mind that everyone has some fears.
  • You stop procrastinating because that is indicative of your lack of confidence.
  • Stop pursing perfection. Perfection is never achieved. It only stops you from moving ahead.

Once you develop self belief and you observe that you confirm to all what has been said above, you will find the following eight advantages coming to you smoothly and seamlessly.

a). Self-belief enables you to hold strong conviction. All things do not happen the way you have planned or the way you expect. But strong conviction will help you to move ahead without fear of failure.

b). Self belief also helps you develop optimistic attitude which is necessary today in the wake of fast changing world. Life is becoming extremely competitive. Any opportunity missed once may never come back again. But if you have a negative attitude you will not be able to catch the fleeting possibilities.

c). Your self-belief also makes you more reliable to others.Thus you tend to build up better relations with others. Your credibility is not question. Since people can trust you they vie for good relations with you. Needless to say that for any significant project you need help from others.

d). Self-belief also helps you to be focused and self motivated. You no longer take life as it comes. You don’t depend on unknown sources to bring you luck. You carve your own destiny. Self motivation helps you to maintain enthusiasm and interest in life.

e). Your risk taking ability improves if you start relying on yourself. It is said that there are no gains if there are no risks. Your conviction helps you to take calculated risks in meeting the challenges of life. The tendency to avoid and escape facing challenging situation reduces substantially. You start realizing that difficulties form a necessary part of life.

f). Further, self-belief enables you to give and receive constructive criticism with an open mind. In the current scenario exchange of ideas and views are extremely important. The autocratic leader is not acceptable any more. So if you want to progress you have to collaborate with others from your own organization or outside outfits.

g). Self-belief helps you to be more assertive. You start caring for yourself more than pleasing others. Someone said that he doesn’t know any formula of how to succeed. The sure short formula for success has never been discovered. But there is a firm unbeatable formula for failure and that is trying to please everyone. Your self-belief will not allow you to embark on the journey of securing approvals where these are not mandatory.

h). Last but not the least, you start working on improving your self respect.You realize that if you do not respect yourself, others will follow suit. When you’re in need to raise self esteem, you become more effective and you become more productive. Now, you start managing your time very effectively as any improper or inadequate use of your time will hurt your self-esteem.

Personal Productivity and its review constitute are essential ingriedients in the implementation and achievement of personal goals. But what is personal productivity? Does it mean how we manage our time? The answer is yes and no. Yes, time is an important aspect of personal productivity. Rather, it could be so provided your activities are aligned with your goals. And yet it is a lot more. Does it mean one’s achievement towards realization of personal goals? Not just that! Personal goals may change. Personal vision may change. And if one may say so personal mission statement if one ever cares to establish that – that also may change.
When we talk of mission statement or vision or an organization, that hardly ever changes. But when we are talking of an individual, the factors that affect a person’s likes and dislikes, desires, drastically change with changing circumstances, or even without these.
The most important factor for a person’s success is his/her personal productivity. As we growwe realize that it is not just money, not just health, not just family, or your social status, hobbies etc., that bring you happiness, but it is a combination of all these in varying proportions.  So what we need to do is to align all our activities to achieve whatever we want in the aforesaid different fields.
Therefore a daily review of what you do becomes very important. In the highly competitive world we have today, the targets that the organizations set for you are hard ones. These sap your energy and rob you of the power and ability to think what you must do. You only start following sometimes even unachievable targets. In the process, you totally destroy you concept of personal productivity.
Hence, what is really needed is to have the right balance and proper perspective towards life. It is only such a healthy attitude that strikes a right balance between family and friends, home and work, health and money that will lead to a truly happy and successful life.

Thanks for reading.

Is stuttering curable?

One % of the world population suffers from stuttering as per the available figures. However, various stages of stuttering have been revealed. The topic that we are going to discuss today is whether stuttering is curable or the victim has to live throughout the life with the speech problem.
To understand the answer for this question, it is necessary to find out what is the cause, of stuttering.  Stuttering can happen due to various reasons. It has been observed that 50% of the cases stuttering are hereditary. Besides, there could be medical reasons which we will not talk about as it is beyond the scope of this discussion. Only qualified doctor will be able to comment on that.
1. What we are talking about is when there is no medical problem but still people stutter. It is necessary to understand how the words are formed and how the voice is created. The voice is created by the process of holding the breath in the lungs and releasing it through vocal cord.  It produces sound not the words. The words are created by the speech organs. There are five speech organs which are; jaw, tongue, teeth, lips and pallet. These organs are responsible for creating clear words. And, for bringing about efficacy of your speech. Clarity is critical. There is breath in the lungs and some breath is released when we want to speak. This breath strikes the vocal cord which is like a rubber membrane. The moment it strikes there is vibration and sound is produced but it is only sound. The words are created by the speech organs as I have said above.
2. These five speech organs work in tandem and words can be created only by using the organs. Furthermore if there is no breath, there can be no speech. In the normal speech, coordination between the mind and the release of breath and the movement by the speech organs are required. But mind thinks 10 times faster than the speech. This is the major problem. Whenever we have to make a speech in front of an audience we tend to forget what we wanted to speak. The person who stutters is in a hurry to say what he has prepared lest he forgets what they had prepared.
3. The fact is that it is very difficult to speak the way you have prepared. It is said that there are three types of speeches. This is true. One speech that we prepare to deliver. Second is the speech that we would have delivered. Third is the speech that we like to have delivered. But perfect coordination between the mind and the speech works better and controls and the release of breath by the lungs. Speech can therefore be best made when we ensure that there is perfect coordination between the mind that that is the thinking power and the breath in the lungs. It is observed that whenever you are not speaking clearly because of any of your problems, you need to relax and reassure yourself that you will not be in a hurry. You should start habit of thinking and speaking. When you think and speak chances are that you will be able to say what you want to say without stuttering. But it’s a tedious process. You have to continue this practice all the time. Habits die very hard. But you don’t have to forget. If you do, the old habit returns. You have just to accept that you are trying to do something which is difficult. It is bound to take time and effort. Perseverance is something that will come to your rescue.
4. When we think of the famous people who stuttered, the first name that to mind is that of King George VI, father of present Queen Elizabeth. There is a movie named the ‘King’s Speech’. It depicts not only the effort of the king but also that of the trainer who ensured that there is marked improvement and the King is the able to broadcast the speech. Speech was mandatory in the turbulent times of war with Hitler. Anyone who is having some interest in the subject must watch the movie. It’s also available on YouTube.
5. When we talk of other famous personalities who stuttered there are many. Marlin Munroe and Julia Roberts are the famous actors. Winston Churchill also stuttered. Tiger Woods does and so does Joe Biden.
6. In our country the two names which come before us are that of Hrithik Roshan famous actor and his uncle Roshan, the music director. EMS Namboouripad ex- Kerala Chief Minister was another famous personality with the problem. While there is no doubt that complete cure of stuttering is not claimed by any of the speech therapist, some improvement can definitely be achieved, with the continued practice and efforts.
7. If we go through the example of the King George the VI, it is depicted in the movie referred above; we find that more than a qualified speech therapist the trainer, the dedicated speech trainer may be in a better position to help. Its replacing the fallacious speech habits with those which will work. One may find the course of Voice Culture training of great advantage. It’s so not only for the people who stutter but also for those who want to speak impeccable language.
Thank you.

7 Steps for Self Development!

Why Self-Development is so important today?

In the competitive environment of modern times it’s necessary to continuously enhance your skill. In today’s life the modern man finds himself trapped in a concrete jungle, living a rat race. This is a life full of stress, tensions and anxieties to be the star performer at the workplace, and to be perceived as an ideal son, husband and father at home.
In this continuing madness, he tends to loose his sense of self and finds himself loosing control over his live, powerless as he is to take corrective and remedial action. Such inability to do what is right and bring things back on track is largely caused by the lack of realization of what is wrong and what needs to be done.
The answer to this problem is Self Development.
But what is self-development? As the term suggested it is bringing about all round improvement in one’s own self. A plain dictionary meaning of the term by itself would bring cold comfort to someone who really needs self-development.
We therefore need to understand what self-development is by understanding what it implies. Self-development can be best understood by examining its components. These are enumerated one by one: 

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-knowledge
  • Communication
  • Self potential
  • Health – physical and psychological
  • Social status
  • Social relations
  • Personality

1. Self-awareness: What is self-awareness?
Self awareness is the understanding of where one finds himself. What does he considers as his duty every moment of the day? How is he supposed to utilize each waking moment of his time? What should he say? How and to whom? A high sense of self awareness is seen in person who is proactive in thought, alert in mind and body and energetic in action. Such is person stays ahead in every situation. It’s necessary to improve self-awareness to meet the daily challenges.

2. Self-knowledge:
Self-knowledge flows from self-awareness. Improving self-knowledge should be a continuous activity. It enables a person to truly understand himself – his role and contribution to society. Self-knowledge is also a self-appraisal of the strengths and weaknesses of the personality and character on an ongoing basis. Self-knowledge is also the knowledge of the inner universe of an individual – the knowledge of which is vital to successfully navigate your life in the society.

3. Communication is of critical importance.
Communication is the vehicle for building social relations. This was true in the days when technology and internet did not exist; but is has become even more true today when we are living in a deeply interconnected world. Communication has various aspects these are:

Thoughts and Ideas: Communication originates in the mind in the form of a thought which is translated into an idea to be expressed. A creative mind is fertile ground for positive expression, whereas a negative mind is minefield of hate filled negative communication.

Voice & Speech: The voice represents the emotion and the level of self-confidence of the individual.  The speech represents the spoken words manifested by the eloquence or lack of it in expressing the ideas of the mind.

Morale, Self-confidence & Self Esteem, These have an impact on your communication.
What is morale? A high morale refers to a very positive state of mind of a person which is ever challenged into seeking increasing difficult tasks to achieve. Low morale represents the opposite where all round pessimism pervades; and where procrastination and dreariness are the norm.
An individual’s morale depends upon his self-confidence. The self-confidence in turn depends upon the self-esteem of the individual. A person with low sense of self-esteem has little self-confidence to do the simplest of tasks, while claiming both ownership and responsibility for the same. On the other hand a person with a high sense of self-esteem always lunges forward, taking bold and calculated risks. Such a person always stretches himself in a quest to continuously improve his productivity, and sense of self-fulfillment in his life and in his work. Building or renewing identity is very important, today.

4. Potential needs to be fully explored. That is the first step for fulfilling aspirations.
Each one of us has a latent, immense and untapped potential which sadly few of us achieve. The main reason for remaining underachievers is equally to lack of self-belief in our potential as also the knowledge that such a potential even exists. Self-development really starts where we become aware of our immense potential and start taking positive steps to tap it and creatively utilize it.

5. Good Health plays an important role in all aspects of life.
Health has two aspects – physical and psychological. Good health commonly is commonly understood only as a state where the body remains free from ailments. There is general ignorance about the impact of an healthy mind (free of negative thoughts and emotions) on the physical health of an individual. It is often said a fit mind in a fit body. However, the reverse is equally true – a fit mind ensures that the body remains fit and free from many ‘lifestyle’ diseases.

6. Social Status and Social Relation:
Development of the social status refers to the upward move of individual on the social ladder. The craving for a high social status is considered the highest of the famous Manslow’s personal self actualization hierarchy. A high social status represents his desire for self actualization. Maslow describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be.
Social relations determine the social status of a person. At the same time the person’s social status also determines his social relations. Development of the ability to develop social relations gives an individual the power to increase his ever widening circle of social contacts. This in turn enhances his power, his prestige, sense of self worth and most importantly his social status.


7. Create a Power Packed Personality: 
Personality Development seems to be the buzz word these days. While everyone likes to talk about it, few seem to truly understand. Development of one’s personality is more than adherence to a mere set of guidelines to be followed in terms of dos and don’ts. Personality has several important components that need to be understood and developed. These include:

Posture: An erect posture signifies confidence, a positive forthright attitude, and a fit body that consciously receives large amount s of life giving oxygen into the lungs.

Body Language: This represents the non verbal communication that translates and conveys more than 80% of the message and is often more important than the spoken words.

Thoughts and self-belief: Each individual creates his own universe through self-belief about himself and thoughts about others. Such thoughts and self beliefs either fashion a mind full of prejudice, hate and envy at the negative level or love, empathy and positivity on the other.

Attitude: It is said our attitude determines our altitude. Development of the attitude involves moving away from being negative about persons, and events and seeing some good in everything perceived as bad.

The above stated aspects of self development are by no means an exhaustive list of what one must do for oneself. At the same, these are not water tight compartments that need to be looked in isolation. Often development of a single area can have greater than proportionate effect in other areas. So what one essentially needs to do it to focus and try to better understand each and consciously inculcate the habit to bring about self improvements howsoever small for the overall objective of self development.
Each of these areas will be covered in detail in forthcoming presentations.

Thanks for reading.

Faking or Pretending: Good, Bad & Ugly

Everyone at some point must have come across pretending. What’s pretending?? Pretending is behaving to be who we want people to think we are. While pretending, we hide our original personality and stage the artificial person in front of people to please or impress them. Below are the facts on pretending which can help you know more about the dos and don’ts of pretending.

Actions speak 

Actions express somebody’s personality. Yes, it’s true and words often show who the person pretends to be. Don’t believe in somebody’s words, try to analyze and see through their actions because actions and conduct tell the truth which words don’t. Therefore, if you want to find out if someone is pretending read their actions closely and carefully that will show if the person is for real or reel.
Pretending can be Good. It can be Bad. But it can also be Ugly. Let’s examine some situations to know about it.


Good
Pretending isn’t all about negativity

Pretending doesn’t always possess negativity it also owns certain positive aspects. For example, pretending to be happy when you’re in pain is just an example of how strong you’re as a person. There’s also a moral from this example. Never show your pain because not many people will share your pain, instead they will celebrate for your pain.


Smile instead of sympathizing

Sometimes the best solution is to smile and move on with your day. That sympathizing feeling on your face isn’t going to help you. Hold back your tears and pretend that everything is well and good because others will feel happy seeing you smiling and cheerful and there may be opposite reactions to be ready for it.

Bad

Not accepting your mistakes

One of the biggest flaws committed by many is pretending to be blind to their own mistakes. Never ignore your mistakes at the same time never try to overlook your mistakes too. Stop pretending like you’re an angel everybody commit mistakes and therefore never underestimate your capabilities just because you have committed a mistake. On the other side don’t pretend to be deaf towards others mistakes because that will lead you into greater losses.


Don’t lose your real personality

Be careful who you pretend to be because in the process of pretending you might lose your own identity. It’s never ever good to forget who you are and isn’t appreciable too. Always recollect where you are, what you are because only these things will boost your self-awareness which would take you places. If you pretend to be somebody else and not yourself, finally it’s going to take you nowhere.


Don’t accept things as they appear

Many people pretend to like you. At times even you might have joined the crowd for a good cause or for a bad cause. As people pretend to like you, all of a sudden you will start pouring out all your joy and care for those people who aren’t worthy of. Actually, doing so shows your foolishness because such kind of people doesn’t deserve your care and concern.


Ugly
Here are some situations when pretending turns ugly. There could be many more.

  1. A vehicle has hit someone who is bleeding on the good, you pan by pretending you have not
  2. A woman is being beaten by a man, you see if and pretend you haven’t and more on.
  3. A friend who is serious needs financial help from you, but you pretend you do not have money.

Some suggestions

  • Express your originality : Stop pretending for a while and express how you really feel towards someone. It can be a positive or a negative feeling but express it with utmost honesty. However, after the revelation observe how the relationship continues to sail.
  • Avoid pretending unless when ‘Good’ : Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, and speak without offending. There’s lots of wisdom in this quote. Live your own life with joy, don’t pretend or fake yourself to impress others. Love without any expectation, listen with peace, understand and then analyze. Use your tongue with caution because that’s the most dangerous weapon in the world that can pierce and hurt a person more than a bullet. Hence, stop offending others with your words.
  • Live your life : Finally, live yourself and set your own identity. Yes, you need that skill to find out people who are pretending to be your beloveds but getting them erased of your life wouldn’t make a greater difference. Instead invest your time in finding the real people who understand and are really impressed with your originality.       Pretending isn’t an issue when not practiced always!!
  • Never carry forward situations : Life is a handful of short stories pretending to be a novel. Yes, all situations are detached. When the situation takes place the matter comes to an end, it isn’t supposed to be carried forward and never get stuck to the situation. If it had left a lesson behind take the lesson and move forward.

Thanks for reading. 

How to improve your personality for success and happiness?

5 Steps to understand and build up a better personality.

Personality comprises understanding self, fixing one’s goals, physical and mental health and various other facets of the person as seen by himself/herself and as seen by others. Indeed, understanding personality is not easy. But it is extremely important. It is important for your success. More importantly it helps you to achieve happiness. The study of personality can be said to have its origins in the fundamental idea that people are distinguished by their characteristic individual patterns of behavior—the distinctive ways in which they walk, talk, furnish their living quarters, or express their urges. Whatever the behavior, personologists—as those who systematically study personality are called—examine how people differ in the ways they express themselves and attempt to determine the causes of these differences.

First, understand yourself.

Each one of us must sit down and contemplate about life’s significance. It’s a kind of vision statement which one must clarify to himself/herself. The act of contemplation on significance will always help you to adopt and maintain a proper prospective. Before researching possible career moves it is useful to spend time understanding yourself, including your capabilities, expertise and personal values. Being self-aware can help you to plan development and make career decisions that are right for you.

Write down your specific goals.

By and large everyone has wishes. But these are not specific desires. Wishes become desire only when you specify your goals. Wishes do not allowed you to focus and take actions needed for achievements. These wishes often times remain wishes. Further unrealized wishes erode self esteem. It is imperative therefore to write down clearly on your goals. Goals would state the time frame goals should also clarify how you plan to achieve. Its only when you make a practical plan that you can pursue your goals.

Physical and Mental Health both are equally important.

First on the list of your goals should be good health. One can achieve physically good health by taking care of food, exercise and sleep. Human body is made to last for about 100 years. So we need to use all the faculties with discretion. We must not over use, under-use, but strike a good balance and keep on becoming more effective. Mental health is even more important. It refers to your thoughts, your behavior and your attitude towards others. It also refers to your attitude towards life. A clear distinction is often made between ‘mind’ and ‘body’. Poor physical health can lead to an increased risk of developing mental health problems.

Good Communication Skills are Critical for your better relations at the workplace and at home.

We all communicate right from the time we are able to speak. In fact babies start communicating immediately after birth. As we grow the social considerations keep on shaping our communication skills. Besides the influence of people around, parents, teachers, friends and others we meet also create an impact. We can develop and maintain good communication skills only with regular review of our ability regarding communications. Good communication skills can aid in helping you land an interview and pass the selection process. Being able to articulate well provides a significant advantage! To do your job effectively, you have to discuss problems, request information, interact with others, and have good human relations skills – these are all part of having good communication skills.

Application of Mind at all times ensures that you remain on track.

Application of mind enables you to analyze any situation. It enables you to review your performance even in challenges. In fact, human sufferings impart great life’s lessons one should be willing to learn these lessons. Knowledge acquired through reading books, attending training programs and interacting others play an important role. One should never be judgmental. However it’s necessary to apply mind and to form opinions about anything that concerns us. This process helps us to become more decisive to pursue our goals. Present day world whatever we see and enjoy are nothing but result of application of mind. Application of mind is more important than knowledge. 

Thanks for reading.

Self Development


Self Development:
Self Development is a very important aspect of the human being.
In today’s life the modern man finds himself trapped in a concrete jungle, living a rat race. This is a life full of stress, tensions and anxieties to be the star performer at the workplace, and to be perceived as an ideal son, husband and father at home.
In this continuing madness, he tends to loose his sense of self and finds himsel loosing control over his live, powerless as he is to take corrective and remedial action. Such inability to do what is right and bring things back on track is largely caused by the lack of realization of what is wrong and what needs to be done.
The answer to this problem is Self Development.
But what is self development? As the term suggested it is bringing about all round improvement in one’s own self. A plain dictionary meaning of the term by itself would bring cold comfort to someone who really needs self development.
We therefore need to understand what self-development is by understanding what it implies. Self development can be best understood by examining its components. These are enumerated one by one:

  • Self awareness
  • Self knowledge
  • Communication
  • Career
  • Self potential
  • Health – physical and psychological
  • Social status
  • Social relations
  • Personality

Let us look at each of these aspects in greater detail:

Self awareness: What is self awareness?
Self awareness is the understanding of where one finds himself. What does he considers as his duty every moment of the day? How is he supposed to utilize each waking moment of his time? What should he say? How and to whom? A high sense of self awareness is seen in person who is proactive in thought, alert in mind and body and energetic in action. Such is person stays ahead in every situation.
Self knowledge:
Self knowledge flows from self awareness. Self knowledge enables a person to truly understand himself – his role and contribution to society. Self knowledge is also a self appraisal of the strengths and weaknesses of the personality and character on an ongoing basis. Self knowledge is also the knowledge of the inner universe of an individual – the knowledge of which is vital to successfully navigate the outer universe.
Communication:
Communication is the vehicle for building social relations. This was true in the days when technology and internet did not exist; but is has become even more true today when we are living in a deeply interconnected world. Communication has various aspects these are:

  1. Thoughts and Ideas:Communication originates in the mind in the form of a thought which is translated into an idea to be expressed. A creative mind is fertile ground for positive expression, whereas a negative mind is minefield of hate filled negative communication.
  2. Voice & Speech:The voice represents the emotion and the level of self confidence of the individual.  The speech represents the spoken words manifested by the eloquence or lack of it in expressing the ideas of the mind.


Morale, Self-confidence & Self Esteem:
What is morale? A high morale refers to a very positive state of mind of a person which is ever challenged into seeking increasing difficult tasks to achieve. Low morale represents the opposite  where all round pessimism pervades; and where procrastination and dreariness are the norm.
An individual’s morale depends upon his self-confidence. The self-confidence in turn depends upon the self-esteem of the individual. A person with low sense of self esteem has little self-confidence to do the simplest of tasks, while claiming both ownership and responsibility for the same. On the other hand a person with a high sense of self esteem always lunges forward, taking bold and calculated risks. Such a person always stretches himself in a quest to continuously improve his productivity, and sense of self fulfillment in his life and in his work.
Career:
Gone are the days when a person could take up a secure career in a government job and work until his retirement doing pretty much the same work. Today, career development has become very important in today’s very fast changing and dynamic world. This implies staying relevant with the changing times by adapting one’s skills and abilities to meet the changing requirements of society and the work place.
Potential:
Each one of us has a latent, immense and untapped potential which sadly few of us achieve. The main reason for remaining underachievers is equally to lack of self belief in our potential as also the knowledge that such a potential even exists. Self development really starts where we become aware of our immense potential and start taking positive steps to tap it and creatively utilize it.
Health:
Health has two aspects – physical and psychological. Good health commonly is commonly understood only as a state where the body remain free from ailments. There is general ignorance about the impact of an healthy mind (free of negative thoughts and emotions) on the physical health of an individual. It is often said a fit mind in a fit body. However, the reverse is equally true – a fit mind ensures that the body remains fit and free from many ‘lifestyle’ diseases.
Social Status:
Development of the social status refers to the upward move of individual on the social ladder. The craving for a high social status is considered the highest of the famous Manslow’s personal self actualization hierarchy. A high social status represents his desire for self actualization. Maslow describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be.
Social Relations:
Social relations determine the social status of a person. At the same time the person’s social status also determines his social relations. Development of the ability to develop social relations gives an individual the power to increase his ever widening circle of social contacts. This in turn enhances his power, his prestige, sense of self worth and most importantly his social status.
Personality :
Personality Development seems to be the buzz word these days. While everyone likes to talk about it, few seem to truly understand. Development of one’s personality is more than adherence to a mere set of guidelines to be followed in terms of dos and don’ts. Personality has several important components that need to be understood and developed. These include:

  1. Posture: An erect posture signifies confidence, a positive forthright attitude, and a fit body that consciously receives large amount s of life giving oxygen into the lungs.
  2. Body Language: This represents the non verbal communication that translates and conveys more than 80% of the message and is often more important than the spoken words.
  3. Thoughts and self belief: Each individual creates his own universe through self-belief about himself and thoughts about others. Such thoughts and self beliefs either fashion a mind full of prejudice, hate and envy at the negative level or love, empathy and positivity on the other.
  4. Attitude: It is said our attitude determines our altitude. Development of the attitude involves moving away from being negative about persons, and events and seeing some good in everything perceived as bad.

The above stated aspects of self development are by no means an exhaustive list of what one must do for oneself. At the same, these are not water tight compartments that need to be looked in isolation. Often development of a single area can have greater than proportionate effect in other areas. So what one essentially needs to do it to focus and try to better understand each and consciously inculcate the habit to bring about self improvements howsoever small for the overall objective of self development.
Each of these areas will be covered in detail in forthcoming presentations. Thanks for reading.

Remedy Four Causes of Indecision


About 500 years ago Shakespeare wrote the tragic play- ‘Hamlet’. His tragedy emanates from major personality flaw- indecision. Indeed, the drama exaggerates the flaw and the hero suffers a disaster. This malady is, however, more wide spread in the current scenario. The acute competition & the rat race of the present times have made fear of rejection more prominent than ever before. The gin of fear is causing tremendous stress to most people. Four steps are listed below that will help mitigating the fear which is main cause of indecision.

  1. Always remember that ‘left to themselves things go from bad to worse’. This you must have experienced in life. So the very memory will wake you up from the slumber and you will try to find a solution to the pending problem. Surely, you will need to take decision about the action you need to take- sooner than later. Get yourself motivated to ward off the indecision, thus.
  2. Whenever their some important project, you may write down the problem in detail. Now, think about the possible solutions. Then note down the pros and cons in respect of each. This will help you to decide easier and faster. But never fear about wrong decisions. Some decisions go wrong for everyone. The more you start taking decisions, you will find that incidence of wrong decisions will reduce.
  3. Your indecision could also be because of lack of adequate knowledge about the subject. Instead of worrying about what will happen if decision goes wrong, work hard to gain the required knowledge about the subject. The moment you know the subject well, you will find, it’s easier to decide. Fortunately, we have Google and other sites which instantaneously provide sufficient information on any subject.
  4. And if you are a habitual procrastinator, you must at once say to yourself that your habit has let you down on earlier accessions. You have suffered earlier. Therefore, you would not like to repeat your past mistakes. Procrastination is a disease. It needs to be eradicated from life. Whatever is necessary; you must do to cure the deadly disease.

There could be some more causes which each of us should identify fo himself/herself and then work on these. But indecision should not be allowed to hinder your progress.
Thanks for reading.

Modern Lifestyle; Thy name is Stress!


In today’s world, one cannot perform traditional work at a modern pace. Traditional work has traditional rhythm for which you need to be calm. You may be busy, but you must remain calm which sometimes might not be possible in present environment. It is often assumed that having more money eases the path through life, but sometimes it also brings added complications. Proper Plan is always required to make more money in order to lead a modern lifestyle. You may wish to acquire clothes or things that are more expensive simply to show off, trying to create a big impression. Conversely, the style depends on, what you do with these things. Thus, Fashion is what you buy, while style is what you do with it.
The modern lifestyle with its many fascinations, distractions and temptations can offer us several things, but the meekest of all goals – your inner peace – seems the one illusive thing beyond your reach. In fact, Modern lifestyle can destroy your peace. If not destruction it can disturb your peace. So do not ever let your lavish lifestyle steal your peace.
The economic anarchy of capitalist society and its impact on Indian mind and ethos are one of the key factors that lead to stress. When you sturdily desire to have something which is difficult to acquire, then obviously you’re under stress. Modern lifestyle requires position which in turn requires money, your extra effort or corruption or anything that is unworthy.  Apart from the pressure of modern life, your stress level will also differ based on your personality, attitude, habits and risk factors. Expecting things to be easy that are normally not so – can further lead to stress which in turn requires you to change your habits and attitude which is difficult, but not impossible.
Since the consequences of traumatic and chronic stress are serious, it is vital to find out ways to mitigate stress. These kinds of stress cannot be completely removed but can definitely be kept under control. The first step in managing stress is identifying the cause. Then it is necessary to contemplate on your values. Your values tend to give you a direction, to deviate your mind from unnecessary material acquisitions and positions.
Meditation is undoubtedly one of the best stress management techniques known, since ancient times. Sit in a relaxed cross-legged fashion, try to control your mind and affirm that your life is in significance. And that implication will not allow you to feel jealous and envious of people and their positions. Avoid developing grudge on people who are leading an affluent life with a luxury car, bigger house, etc. It doesn’t mean that you should kill all your desires. Rather, have a clear goal, strive hard to achieve it, concentrate and then contemplate it.
The only person you should try to compete with – is the person you were yesterday. Give up comparing yourself with others. Don’t change to be better than those around you. Instead, change yourself into a better person. Review everyday whether you are reaching towards your goal or not.  Achieving specific goals requires focus, approach and continues efforts. Perseverance is another vital aspect of life for which you require strong willpower and courage.  Take risks as this may lead to change in your attitude and make you stronger, courageous thereby mitigating your stress to a large extent.
Thanks for reading.

Bad News: Time Flies Away / Good News: You are the Pilot

If there is one thing that is equally distributed by the Lord Almighty, that is Time. And it is the most important of all resources. Proper use of time makes the people very successful and vice-versa. With the fast development of technology, executives are expected to be far more productive. It is possible. But it calls for more efficient use of your time.
In fact, over the years our attitude towards time has changed. Today, each one of us has become aware of cost of time.
One can effectively use time if the goals are written down. The specific goals make it mandatory to write down a plan of action. And when you have worked out your plan to achieve your goals in respect of important aspects of life, there is hardly any time which you can afford to lose.
I would like to mention here that some habits need to be changed to be more time productive. These are:

  1. Procrastination is the most potent culprit which destroys some of your most precious time. It is only important tasks that you want to carry out as a priority. But if the task is challenging, many a time you tend to postpone it. In the process, you lose time but more importantly the burden or guilt of not attending to important work makes you time inefficient. So having a habit of procrastination even in the smallest measure is not permissible.
  1. Time has the habit of expanding to work to the time allotted. Even if you are able to do a job in two hours, but you have four hours available, the work will expand to fill all four hours. So what is the remedy? Allot lesser time to the task. You may have to stretch yourself a bit. Do it. But, save time.
  1. Another villain which steals away your time is indecision. Whenever you are not able to decide between two or more options, you lose time. You must learn to be more decisive. Normally decisions are not taken because of risks associated with the decision. We must remember that not taking any risk is the biggest risk of our life.
  1. Verbosity in our speech is another time-wasting demon. We need to be terse in our communication. It just requires better focus and a determination of not using more words than are necessary.
  1. If we follow the system of diving our tasks into four quadrants as propounded by Steven Covey of “Seven Habit of Successful People”, we can surely save time which is often wasted.

There are some suggestions to use our time more productively. These are:

  • Keep a Time Log for 2-3 days. Understand the normal, routine use of your time. Now study the same to find out where you can save time. The exercise will not go waste. In process the credit balance of your time current account will increase.
  • If you want to become really time efficient follow the rule of 60 : 25 : 15.You must try to complete your routine (daily tasks) in 15% of the available time. Besides, 25% time should be spent on ongoing projects. Finally, spend 60% of your time on developments, innovations, and new projects.
  • Make a to-do every day morning and try to complete the jobs which must be done on that day. In this list, you must keep in mind the priorities. In fact proper prioritizing your tasks enables you to use your time very productively.

Working out priorities:
You must analyze your tasks. Then place them in three distinct categories:

  1. Tasks which are important as urgent. These cannot be carried forward.
  2. Tasks which are important but not urgent. For example, looking after your health and going for a walk daily is important but not urgent.
  3. Tasks which are neither urgent nor important. These should always receive the least importance.

While making your to-do list you must be realistic. Don’t pack too many things in a day which cannot be completed. If is unnecessary to create a burden for yourself. This will decrease your efficiency.
Thanks for reading.

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