4 Proven rules to deal with Difficult People

Rule One:

Just think of driving a car. You have to use controls to drive you straight when you are driving. Mainly, you use steering wheel, accelerator & breaks. There are other facilities like horn, signals, rear view mirror etc. When you are dealing with difficult people, you have to follow 3 critical steps. These are: i) stay calm ii) find help and iii) debrief.

  • In heavy traffic you tend to lose your cool. Likewise, with a difficult person you have a tendency to become impatient. Don’t do that. Stay calm.
  • You may try to find help. Someone who you think can guide you or act as a mediator to avoid confrontations.
  • In the complex life today, it’s prudent to have a mentor. A mentor has no conflicting interests with you. All he looks for is helping you. After you have faced the difficult person with whatever results, it is useful to discuss the entire situation with your mentor.

Rule Two:

Don’t treat your opponent as your enemy. Respect his/her dignity and the results will be good. And for that just do the following:

  1. Listen attentively. Let them talk and you should just listen. Often the opponents will not open their cards but when you listen attentively you may be able to discover the hidden agenda which will help you to deal with him/her. Besides, people want to be listened to. They want to talk.
  2. Don’t hurt their dignity. Respect their ego. When you don’t respect you opponent the situation will only go from bad to worse. This needs to be avoided so that there is no escalation of the problem.
  3. Don’t judge people. Try to understand than before forming you opinion about them. When you have already formed an opinion, there are chances that you will not try discovering the hidden need of the opponent. Therefore keep your mind open and do not judge.
  4. When the tempers run high allow opponent to calm down. Your help will soften his stubborn intentions to some extent. Besides, you cannot discuss, much less negotiate, when the tempers run high.

Rule Three:

Respect Nature which has made all human beings individuals. No two people are alike; not in their physical attributes but much less in their mental makeup. Thus, it would be a sheer folly to assume a particular method to deal with one difficult person will also work when we are dealing with another. Just like one size does not fit all, one type of response will not solve problem with another. We need to contemplate solution after clearly understanding the situation and the concerned person.

Rule Four:

Tit for tat was an old school story. Leave it behind. It doesn’t work anymore. Times have changes dramatically and now these are changing faster than ever. So every situation needs a specific strategy suited to the occasion. Don’t return anger with anger. Intimidation is freely used and abused. More importantly if you lose your cool, you will not be able to use tact to your advantage.
Further, you must not try to justify your actions and act defensively. This may only aggravate the problem. Acting defensively will make you weaker. The best strategy is let the opponent puff out their steam. Better sense will prevail sooner than later.
Lastly don’t ever try to win an argument. As they say when you win an argument, you lose a friend.
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11 tearing elements of Negative attitude!

It is necessary to identify the negativity in your attitude. What is negative attitude? Negative attitude is when you start focusing on the problems that you might face during your efforts to achieve your goals. It is the lack of hope that things will happen to help you out in your mission. It is the feeling that people will not help you because on earlier occasions you met with rejections. Negative attitude is the lack of your conviction that you can overcome the hurdles that you might face during your journey. In a sense, negative attitude is also a lack of belief in you. Some more symptoms of negative attitude are enumerated below:

1. Laziness: When you think you don’t have the energy to get up and do the work. Sometimes you don’t even think and realize that laziness is simply whiling away the time. It is not even procrastination which will be described separately.

2. Low self esteem: It is an extremely harmful attribute in your personality. You start thinking that you are good for nothing. You accept the situations in which you are because your self esteem is so low that you think you can do nothing better.

3. Low productivity: Work has a strange tendency of expanding as per the time available. Even worse is when no time is allotted for the completion of a task. This gives you a feeling of solving certain important problems whereas in fact you are just being satisfied in remaining busy. This approach will never allow you to increase your productivity. For doing more in a given time, you have to stretch yourself. Therefore is it necessary that you allot specific time duration for a task. In the beginning, the allocation may seem difficult, but once you form a habit it will become much easier. Difficult or easy, it is necessary.

4. Lack of initiative: For any significant progress, initiative is necessary. What is initiative? Initiative is your first step for going ahead with a task. When it is something new, you have to creatively think and courageously take the first step, even if there is some risk. No risk is the biggest risk in life. Any significant initiative cannot be taken to move forward without accepting this reality. So don’t be afraid to take initiative.


5. Not listening to understand: In the course of conversations, sometimes we tend to focus so much on what we have to say, that we stop listening to the other person. This is particularly so when the speaker has said something for which we have a ready argument to negate what he has said. Unfortunately, such a habit does not allow us to listen and assimilate what the speaker says after that. Evidently it leads to miscommunication and problems. The solution is first understand and then be understood.

6. Faking: We feel envious of some people who are more successful in the material sense than we think that they deserve. Such a feeling leads us to a myth that it is their style which makes them successful and we try to imitate their conduct. This is a extremely bad situation. We lose belief in ourselves, and how can we expect that others will believe us.

7. Not trying to express: When we have certain ideas, but either we do not want to express, or we are afraid to express, is also indicative of our negative attitude. It is necessary to develop an ability to express without hesitation. The fear of rejection which takes away your ability to act is one of the serious handicaps.

8. Not learning lessons from mistakes: There is no one who does not commit mistakes. Whenever we undertake something new, mistakes may happen. This is normal. However, repeating the same mistake again and again, is neither normal, nor should be acceptable. Thus we must learn lessons from our past mistakes and use these lessons to direct our future efforts.   

9. Ego: Ego happens to be another aspect of personality which does not allow us to grow. Ego comes in the way of our approaching people to help us. It makes us believe that it is below our dignity to seek help. A success Guru had said that there are eleven principles of achieving success. And what are these eleven principles? These are, ask, ask, ask….(eleven times).

10. Jealousy: Jealousy is a negative emotion which keeps sapping our creative energies. We gain nothing in the process. It makes us feel as victims of fate or poor destiny. Jealousy may even take away our sound sleep. The worst part is that sometimes it cannot be contained, it goes on swelling. Jealousy must be thwarted out of the personality.

11. Avoiding hard work: There is only one way to success, and that is the hard way. If we habitually seek short cuts it will be very difficult for us to work hard. What is working hard? When you are fully devoted to completing the job and you forget even your surroundings, you continue to work even when you are tired because you want to complete. That aspect of work may be termed as hard work. Initially it may be very difficult, but then one can form a habit. For any significant progress, hard work is necessary.

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Four unbeatable Secrets of a Happy Living!

Life has many facets: habits, aspirations, goals, significance etc. It is rare that there has been an artist who was also a good householder and a progressive human being. When I say a good householder, I mean one who facilitates the family in all respects. He not only provides for them materially but also emotionally. This is so, typical for a family man. But when we talk of an individual who doesn’t have a family, they too will have to find out their goals; what they want to do in life by controlling or changing their habits. In these circumstances it is difficult to imagine an artist who is totally devoted to his/her passion for art putting similar emphasis/importance on all the other aspects of life, as said above.
Therefore I think we must understand and practice the ‘Secrets of Happy Living’.

1. Self–awareness  is “an awareness of one’s own personality or individuality”. It is not to be confused with in the sense of quality. While consciousness is being aware of one’s environment and body and lifestyle , self-awareness is the recognition of that awareness. Self-awareness is how an individual consciously knows and understands their own character , feelings,motives, and  desires. There are two broad categories of self-awareness: internal self awareness and external self-awareness.

Self Awareness an individual needs to be conscious of his own body, state of mind including thoughts, actions, ideas, feeling and interaction with others. Besides, self-awareness has to be a continuous process. It’s only then that you can mound your thoughts, actions and relationship with others. Without doubt, this requires a constant review. The process teaches you how to go about finding solutions to the problems.

2. The second secret is setting priorities. It is not only fixing the priorities but also scheduling them according to their relative importance. We must remember that when we schedule a task and provide a time slot, it is not necessary that time allocated will always be found sufficient. Time management is another important aspect to be reviewed from time to time. The discipline that you require for constant follow up requires a logical approach. It should have nothing to do with the moods of the person. When a particular task is not finished as per schedule you need to provide the next slot and abide by it. This protocol alone can bring about the desired results.

3. The third secret is necessary to develop a keen sense of focus. Some example to illustrate focus:

  • Education is the current focus on public debate.
  • They have narrowed the focus of the investigation, to concentrate on younger adults.
  • What is the focus of your report?
  • The baby had become the focus of all her energies.
  • The focus of the inquiry was on faults in the company’s safety procedures.

To my mind doing only one thing at a time is the best approach. As far as possible there should be no interruption. Equally important is your total mind and soul into what you are doing. One has to start living in the present, moment to moment. Deliberate effort may be required for some time but then it becomes your habit and you start navigating your life as if you are flying an airplane.

4. Lastly, the fourth secret is your speech. It is critically important. Play with voice volume, speed, and tone

The ultimate weapon that the speaker holds is his voice. The degree of volume, the pitch of the voice, the varying tones, and the speech are all those assets which can take your speech to the next level. The pitch of the voice can be used for the exhibition of the authority by scaling it up and down. Furthermore, the higher the voice volume, the more authority it demonstrates. These are minor details but have the potential which can completely change the impact of the speech delivered. Therefore, makes sure you make the most of these degree and variations to attain the most of the benefits associated with it.

Because we have to interact with colleagues, family members and the society at large, we must choose our words and use them effectively. Any wrong choice or casual approach towards this very important aspect of human personality can be disastrous. Speech must always be clear; words should be chosen with discretion and spoken effectively. Speech helps to maintain and improve our relations in any environment.

To conclude I would like to say that a successful life in modern times requires us to know and practice these and any other secret that works for us.


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Six Tips to Achieve Goals

How to achieve goals?

1. First, you must write down your goals in clear specific language. Then start with not only visualizing but also seeing your goals as clearly as you have written down. For example, if your goal is to go to France and visit Paris, activate your imagination and see that you are climbing Eiffel tower. Likewise, if you want to buy a specific expensive car say BMW, you should imagine or see yourself riding the BMW.

2. You have to figure out that the sense of believing that you have already achieved the goal is to start looking at it.

  1. You don’t see millions who believe but only one who doesn’t
  2. Don’t waste your energy in trying to change opinions
  3.  Price lee don’t look on it, see within

3. Obstacles

Next, you need to understand the obstacles. If all things were very easy then nobody would need to create goals, write goals or work hard to achieve them. Things are not easy and they will never be easy. Once you see yourself achieving your specific goal, then you sit down and work out what are the kind of obstacles you might face. There will definitely be some obstacles, which you can visualize. And one more important thing to remember is that as you move forward towards achieving your goal, some unexpected obstacle will also come which you will have to conquer. It is only your determination, your decision and your perseverance that you will some way or the other help achieve the goal that you have already imagined.

4. Conquering Obstacles

Create a mental picture that the obstacles are coming and you are conquering all the obstacles. Imagine that there is an athlete who is running an obstacle race, while he is running fast; he is also crossing the obstacles. Likewise, now that you know what kind of obstacles will come, you imagine crossing those obstacles, picture yourself conquering those obstacles and still carrying on with your mission.

5. Many doubts can arise in your mind. It is normal. However, clear all the doubts, clear your mind of all doubts which often come, which are quite natural. You say to yourself, nothing doing, no such doubts will stop me from achieving my goal. I have a clear picture of achieving my goal, I am determined and I have created a mental picture of conquering my obstacles. Therefore, there is no doubt that I can do it. The goal itself is a challenge. And all the obstacles that you face while pursuing the goal, will also be kind of smaller challenges. Embrace the challenge. It is an opportunity which will definitely enhance your courage, which will give you more will power to pursue and to be successful. Stay on track. Keep up on the track following the same thing, which you have defined and seeing yourself achieving it. There should be no diversion. Staying on track will definitely make it easier for you to overcome the obstacles and reach your goal. Eventually show the world you can do it. As I say, SUCCESS stands for,

S – See your goal
U – Understand the obstacles
C – Create positive mental pictures
C – Clear your mind of self-doubts
E – Embrace the challenges
S – Stay on track
S – Show the world you can do it.
When the goal is a big project, define it and write it down. Then have a very strong desire for it. That is the kind of motivation, which is necessary to follow the steps that I have already mentioned.

6. Be Practical – Split the big tasks

If it is an arduous task and a big project, split it up. Split it into smaller goals and then give a time line to those smaller goals. You must review these every day. You have to review what you have done. You have to check if you have come up to your expectations or not. This step is extremely important. Schedule it, add a timeline to all smaller goals and then do it.

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Making best efforts without clearly specified goals is like travelling in a train without knowing your destination!

Why do you set your goals? Let’s consider this basic question. The simple answer is that you are not happy with your present status and you want to improve. Now let’s consider who is responsible for your present status? Your circumstances, influence of your parents, teachers, friends, relatives, neighbor and all those who have been interacting with you. They have influenced you mind which in turn has influenced your actions and behavior. Over the years you have formed some habits. Triggered by your habits, you continue to do the same things over and over again. Your relationships with others remain the same. Nothing changes. Therefore you don’t own what you want; you don’t garner respect from others. Life is drudgery. Nothing to look forward to. You accept that this reality and you have to live with it. And then, you write down your goals. These could be about health, career, finance, family, hobby and even spirituality.

Once we understand that your background and habits have brought you to a situation which you are not happy with, you need to do whatever it takes to change these influences and most importantly change your habits. You may not be able to change company of everyone around you, but you can choose to divide your time according to your choice.

Let me reproduce some quotes of famous and successful people around the world

1. People will always have an opinion, but you have to live life the way you want to. It’s very easy to tell others what to do, but difficult to implement it on yourself.

2. Set some goals. Stay quiet about them. Smash the hell out of them. Clap for your damn self.

3. Success is steady progress toward one’s personal goals. (Jim Rohn)

4. You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.

5. When a planner speaks of implementing goals rationally, he implies that it is possible to demonstrate logically and experimentally the relationship between the proposed means and the ends they are intended to further. (Alan A. Altshuler)

6. In real life, strategy is actually very straightforward. You pick a general direction and implement like hell. (Jack Welch Winning)

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Are you fed up with someone’s repetitive and unwarranted criticism?

Many a times we face situations when we are being ignored by people for whom we care. Likewise, it may happen the other way round. Let’s look at the various possibilities of you ignoring someone or being ignored. There could be many possibilities and different situations. Sometimes, it is not bad, while most of the times ignoring or being ignored badly hurts. In any case, it’s necessary not to ignore such situations. We must contemplate, analyze and then take necessary action. Some of the circumstances are as below:

1. You ignore someone – Reason? You are upset with him or her. You take them for granted. You have to identify

2. Someone ignores you – Reason? May be he or she is no longer interested in you. Or could it be any of the reasons listed above.

3. When ignoring is the best way to handle problematic situation? Yes, you can always find some benefits in otherwise negative action.

4. Problems between husband and wife. This requires continuous monitoring as you are living together. Each is dependent on the other. Interdependence makes it necessary “to handle with care.”

5. Bullies it the work place or in society. This is an ever-growing problem which appears to have been ignored. It starts from among the school students.

  • Silence can be a person’s loudest cry. You know you have really hurt someone when they start ignoring you. It is worse than saying anything bad to you and is even worse than rebuking you. In other words, the feeling of being ignored is extremely disturbing.
  • When you are ignoring someone continuously, you are teaching him/her to live without you which is bad as you are creating a gap between yourself and the person whom you are ignoring, this may never be filled.
  • If anybody is ignored, it is very difficult for him/her to compromise with that idea. They will always wish that they could ignore the fact that they are being ignored.
  • A person may get a feeling of rather being said that they don’t like him/her instead of being ignored. Thus, one must never ignore anybody as it is very damaging and a worse feeling for the person who is being ignored.
  • Sometimes you ignore people not because you are mad at them but it may mean that they are not really important and worth your time. This is totally another way of thinking and worth resorting to at times. If you want to break a relationship, you start ignoring a person by all means which is needed depending on person to person and the situation.
  • You must let go those people who are ignoring you and your presence because you are not worth their time. But when someone is continuously ignoring you, it is better to forget about him/her.
Description: Image result for some by their actions and some people hurt you by being silent.
  • Some people hurt you by words, some by their actions and some people hurt you by being silent. One gets hurt the maximum when someone ignores him/her even after they value that person the most. If you care for somebody and that person ignores you, is the worse feeling and one gets hurt the maximum due to this and is unable to tolerate the fact of being ignored.
  • When a person is ignored, he/she will start thinking that he wish he could ignore the person in return. Yet it may be very difficult.
  • Ignoring the signs is a good way to end up at the wrong destination. This means that if someone shows you the signs of being ignored by him/her, you should be prepared that you are in for a surprise and for something which you probably never wanted. Thus, it is said that ignoring the signs is a best way to end up at the wrong destination. If you ignore the milestones, it is not going to help you as you don’t know where you are going or heading to.
  • One example which comes to mind is totally different. Robert Browning’s saying in one of his poems highlights optimism. It goes “Take back the hope you gave, I claim, only a memory of the same”. Thus, you can ignore someone but can never change the memories that person brought into your life.
  • If someone is ignoring you, the best thing to do it to end the relationship and not to disturb them again .If you continue to approach that person and if he/she continues to ignore you then you should never go back to them as you are ultimately hurting yourself which should be realized as soon as possible.

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Who took away my peace of mind?

Nobody else did. It’s lack of understanding by you, your mind. It’s difficult to conceive the vastness of the ocean. But it is even more difficult to imagine the vastness of the   mind. Sea is often very calm only sometimes it is turbulent. While an ocean is turbulence only at some occasions, the mind is at peace on only sometime.  The confusion of the mind primarily arises due to the contradictions experienced in the fast paced life today. There is nothing that we can do for turbulence of the ocean. We can certainly tame our mind to achieve calmness and peace.

In fact peace of mind requires only your focus and consistent reminders to yourself. It has no tangible cost. It’s free
Nature – what it does? When it does? It remains unknown to mankind. Though there is no doubt that extensive study of nature has given us the knowledge and power to predict.
But when we talk of mind it is our choice to train it to be at peace most of the time. We have to understand the difference between peace and bliss. Peace is not bliss but peace offers you an ability to get into state of bliss when you want.
At work place, if you are doing something that you don’t like to do yet you have to do it under compulsion, your mind cannot be at peace. When you are lost in your work and you know that the work is important for you, you are a peace with yourself. Further, if you enjoy your work then every milestone that you achieve will give you bliss. There are the number of Dos and Don’ts which help you to gain peace of mind.
First, let us enumerate the don’ts:

1. Don’t get too much involved in reading the negative news. Our newspapers and electronic media are full these. You may scan through the headlines to be abreast with what is going on. Read books that will give you positivity. So many are available choose what you like and read to follow good suggestions.

Description: Image result for 2.	Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude

2. Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude. Interaction with them will sink their negativity into your subconscious mind. Be always pleasant and nice. But instead of spending your valuable time, give them a broad smile and excuse four self.

3. Regard each person as an individual. They are entitled to hold their opinions. Do not be judgmental. Negative emotions like envy, jealousy, criticism of others will affect your peace of mind. So avoid these. But at the same time don’t just agree with anyone just to please humor her. Stand up for yourself.

4. Past is history. It does not have any significance except the lessons you have learnt. So don’t dwell on your past. Its human nature that your thought will hover round events in the past- unpleasant or even pleasant. Just follow lessons that you have learnt.

5. Become friends with members of your family. Children are very intelligent today and they should be treated as friends. Likewise you should be friendly with your spouse. When you talk to your family, particularly, don’t be casual taking them for granted. It’s important what you speak but it is even more important how you say it.

6. Your speech controls your relations with others including members of your family. Therefore use your words with care and discretion. The way you say something is as important as what you say.

7. Don’t be too much attached with your possessions. Practice detachment. What we have today, we may not have tomorrow.

Now about the dos!

1.Learn to focus your mind. Cut the clutter. On and average there comes as many as fifty thousand thoughts in one day. Try to reduce this number by focusing your mind.

2. Practice meditation. It will help more than one can imagine.

3. Cultivate a habit to enjoy only healthy food. Decide that you must eat slightly less than your hunger.

4. Go on vacation periodically. The cycle of routine work needs to be broken as often as possible.

5. Give yourself some quality time. Talk to yourself. Talk about what you like about you. And, further improve the same.

6. Make it your habit to consider that challenges are your opportunities. When you face these challenges with success, it gives you happiness and your mind becomes peaceful.

Thanks for reading.

How Good Habits can help us to become a successful Person?

What is habit?

Habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated frequently, and tends to occur unconsciously. Bad habits intrude your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals.  Breaking any habit can be difficult. For instance, if a person smokes regularly, it becomes his habit and even if he wants to quit, it becomes difficult for him to give-up.
Psychologist and philosopher William James proclaimed that the entire life is nothing but a series of habits that we form repeatedly. The power of habit has been explained by various authors, world leaders and motivational speakers.  One of the famous Authors, Stephen R. Covey, wrote a book titled “The 7 Habits of successful People” describing an approach to being effective in realizing your goals.
One can create excellence in big things, by developing good habits even in small matters. Keeping the desk clean, using mobile with discretion, removing the clutter from your mind, etc. All these can be practiced again and again easily. When you instill these habits into your life, you create the foundation for achieving your goals.

Here are 9 Habits of highly productive people that you may adopt to get the best out of you!! When you follow these habits, you will be amazed to find how your life will change.

1. Ruthlessly cut away the unimportant

That’s right. Try to focus only on the important things, and cut away everything that’s unimportant. There is no point doing something that is not needed for the desired results. So push yourself to quit wasting time, and bring yourself back to the production mode.

2. Allocate breaks strategically

Productivity declines over time without taking brakes. Take many small breaks during the day. The rule of thumb would be to take a 5 to 10 minutes break every 2 hours of work. Breaks are a highly effective way to boosting your productivity. Above all, it is good for your mental health. These habits will make you stress free.

3. Remove productivity pitfalls

Things that limit your productivity must be thrown out.  It can be the loud music you listen to when you work, your phone calls, alerts from your inbox, your slow computer, the internet, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. These things trap you and prevent you from getting things done.

4. Keep on improving your skills

Technology is fast changing keep pace with it. Remember the story of the efficient would cutler who would spend more time on sharpening the saw than cutting the world. His productivity was manifold the productivity of the college who kept on using the blunt saw.

5. Tap into your inspiration

No matter what field you’re in, your inspiration is the key to your output. So, channel your inner muse. Keep on thinking and contemplating the things that motivates you. And definitely you will find that your focus increases thereby up surging your productivity.

6. Create barriers to entry

Don’t make yourself too accessible. If you’re too accessible, then you will face a lot of interruptions. Nowadays, people can connect with others very easily- with the touch of button (text, emails, calls, etc.). Therefore, guard your time to improve your productivity.

7. Optimize time pockets

Make the best of every minute. For instance, if you’re working for 10 minutes, ensure that you achieve maximum outcomes in those 10 minutes and then you can take time off.  You usually get time pockets while waiting for people, commuting, chess app, reading books, or planning.

8. Set timelines

Be clear on what you want to achieve, and then set your timelines for them. When you set timelines, you commit to yourself to complete the work on time, hence, paving the way for the reality to manifest.

9. Automate everything possible

Technology today has made automation possible for a lot of things we do. Hence, find a way to automate every task and let it be your habit. If you outsource, delegate. Delegation and automation wherever possible will enhance your productivity.
By no means, this is a complete list. But as you focus on improving productivity by adopting good habits you will be inspired to adopt more such habits which are particularly useful to you.


Thanks for reading.

Seven Secrets of Sensational Success

Before talking about the secret to sensational success or even outlining a formula, it’s important to define success and just what it means to you. Everyone has their own individual definition of success. But there’s absolutely no way we can talk about the secret to success without first creating some definition of what success actually means to us.

Success in life has nothing to do with where you start. Sure, people who start advantageously in one area or another might have a leg up, but it has almost nothing to do with where they end up in life. Sensational success transcends circumstances.

Many people talk about success. They say they want to be successful at something. But, when prodded, they don’t provide specifics because they haven’t really created those specifics in their minds. Sure, they might want to earn more money, drive a nicer car, get a better job, or travel to some far-off destination, but they haven’t set specific and measurable goals that are written down on paper.

Secret No.1

HOW TO BREAK BAD HABITS AND BUILD ONES?

Habits become hard to break to because they are deeply wired by constant repetition into our brains. Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. They jeopardize your health — both mentally and physically. And they waste your time and energy. But habits are also patterns of behavior and it is the breaking of patterns that are the key to breaking the habits themselves. Usually there is a clear trigger to starts the pattern. Sometimes the triggers are emotional — the wanting a drink or cigarette or nail-biting driven by stress. Other times the trigger is more simply situational and environmental: You see the TV and couch as soon as you hit the front door, and now your brain connects the dots, and eating dinner in front of the TV on the couch is not far behind. More often it is a combination of both — the mix of social anxiety and the party environment leads to your heavier drinking.       

Choose a habit you care about doing regularly. Don’t worry about whether other people think it’s important. For instance, don’t try to exercise every day because you think you should. It won’t be long before your motivation for doing that habit will wane and you’ll be relying on willpower alone to get you through (not a great idea—we only have so much willpower, so you want to find a way to build habits without relying on it too much).                 

If you choose, on the other hand, to walk your dog every day or to play outside with your kids, those habits might come with a lot more motivation for your personally than going to the gym. And yet, they happen to include some exercise. See how that works?                      

 Find something you’re motivated to do. You’ll need that motivation to keep you going, since habits can be an uphill battle until they become ingrained.           

 The more often you do your habit, the stronger it will become. Each repetition enforces it as a behavior and strengthens the pathways in your brain related to it. Eventually, all that repetition makes the behavior automatic, something you do without thinking about it, which is when we call it a habit.                   

 If you’re only doing something once or twice a week, it’s going to take a long time for that behavior to develop into a habit. You’re spending more of your week not doing it.                

 Try to find a habit you can track every day, or every weekday at least. The more you do it, the faster you’ll develop it into a real habit.                 

If you aim to run 5km every day after not exercising for the past two years, you probably won’t keep that up for long. To keep on track with your new habit you need to choose something achievable so you’ll always feel that if you make the effort you can do it.

The last thing you want is ability getting in the way when you’re already battling with your willpower.

If you need to choose something tiny to start with, go for it. Better a tiny habit that you do every day than a   huge one you hardly ever complete.

  Secret No.2

  HOW TO IDENTIFY WHICH ARE WASTEFUL HABITS?

Habits can be difficult to change, but it is possible to replace them with new behaviors. When you replace bad habits with activities that focus on that worthwhile 20 percent, you’ll find yourself much more successful in the same amount of–or perhaps even less–time per week.                   

         

People will always want to schedule meetings. It makes them feel more productive, but if there is nothing to gain, it ends up being just a big fat waste of time. Know what you’re getting into before stepping foot into a meeting before you just waste time talking about what could be or what could have been.               

Getting rid of bad people is probably even more crucial than bringing in great people. If you don’t get the wrong people out quickly, you’re only doing half your job. It might sound like a rationalization, but it is quite likely that you’re doing a favor to this employee if you make that decision sooner, and let them go. It can be beneficial to everyone involved, with no hard feelings.                            

Cut those customers who always want something but don’t pay. The ones that don’t value what you have to offer, and constantly question your prices. If they don’t value you now, they never will, and you’ll constantly be justifying the work you do, no matter how cheap.                         

Cut them loose. Give them the heave-ho. tell them goodbye and never look back. Only work with clients who appreciate your value.                          

We have been trained to look for shortcuts. Copy-pasting, plagiarizing, repurposing, skimming, the list goes on and on. But in my experience, shortcuts always lead to failed projects and unhappy clients.                          

Hopefully, someone will catch the mistakes inherent in shortcuts and make you fix it, or start over from scratch. You spend more time fixing the mistake than you saved by taking the shortcut; if it’s the who client catches these mistakes, not only will it cost you time and money, but also their respect and confidence.                           

Do you come into the office with a plan? Do you have an agenda for that day or week? Do you know what items you need to tackle today and in what order          

If not, then congratulations: you’re “winging it”.                   

To “wing” something means to enter any situation without a plan of action. When you “wing” your day, you get pulled into every meeting, and you usually respond to every call.                       

By starting your day with a plan of your priorities, you don’t waste time, and you know what items take priority; not only do the most important tasks get accomplished first, but you are able to finish more tasks overall because you waste less time leaving items half-finished and coming back to them later.

 Secret No. 3

HOW TO VALUE YOUR TIME & LEVERAGE IT TO MAKE ITS BEST USE?

Sure, tactics like maintaining “to-do” lists (or “done” lists), setting goals, and decreasing the amount and time of meetings can all help. But really, these are all tactics that fall into a strategical category of leveraging our time.

Leverage is an awesome force–it allows us to multiply our abilities by applying a little pressure to something.

What a sharp contrast from our modern day! Now, words are cheap: they are everywhere, constantly bombarding us with useless information and trivial tweets. Heartfelt letters to a lover are rare. More often, we see texts sent with emoticons and mutilated misspellings.

The sad truth is, few of us place value in the words we speak. We open our mouths to hear the music of our own voices, rarely considering the worth of what we are saying.

A man’s reputation can be ruined by loose lips. Just look at politics. The more we say, the more likely we are to say something stupid. The sheer volume of words issuing from our mouths statistically invites idiocy. We all have had moments when we’ve made everyone laugh a few times, but it all stops when we say something off-putting. The humor quickly evaporates, leaving us with reddened faces.

Especially when dealing with our bosses or members of the opposite sex, we can be tempted to avoid awkward silence by filling it with even more awkward chatter. This can inevitably lead to saying something regrettable and possibly offensive.

The less we talk, the more we observe! Our idle words that flow from our mouths with little consequence, are often the outpouring of our minds chattering away. When we stop talking, restraining our words, we will find that that the voice inside also grows silent. This allows us to get out of the world in our heads, and look at the world around us, seeing things that we might not have noticed before.

On the range, inattention to the world around you was dangerous. The very land itself was ready to kill you at any moment. If you were idly talking about nothing with your guard down, you wouldn’t have noticed a hostile enemy creeping up behind you with knife in hand.

While we don’t necessarily need to be worried about being scalped at the office, being absorbed in our world is still dangerous. It can range from not seeing the car pulling out in front of you or failing to observe a girl is interested in you. When we pull ourselves from the constant flow of words in our minds and out of our mouths, it frees us to really see what is going on in our lives.

When speaking to others, it is good to keep what you are saying in the right tone. Telling jokes while attending a funeral isn’t often a great idea.

Is there impact to what you are about to say? When you speak, you should have a better reason for what you say than, “I wanted to.” Ideally, everything you say should have a purpose or reason. Maybe your friend is feeling down and you know that he loves a good joke. Your girlfriend has had a bad day, so you tell her something encouraging that you love about her. The goal is to reduce the amount of unnecessary things you say, because it’s usually the unnecessary words we later regret.

No doubt, at times a cowboy would give someone a piece of his mind, regardless of whether or not it hurt the other’s feelings. This was done with courage because it could easily provoke a gunfight and had more behind it than mere spite. Today, we don’t often come to blows or gunfire over insults, but that doesn’t mean we should weigh the consequences less. Speaking the truth hurts at times. Saying off-handedly to your wife or girlfriend that the dinner she made was OK may not seem harmful; but the comment may hurt them more than you realize.

At the end of the day, we don’t have much more than our reputations. A Cowboy certainly didn’t. We should take care that our words don’t reflect badly on ourselves. The easiest way for a powerful man to seem foolish is to run his mouth off, revealing to all how little control he actually has over himself. What we choose to say often reveals our character.

Secret No.4

HOW TIME LOG SHOULD BE USED TO MAINTAIN YOUR FOCUS?

The problem with working harder is that it simply doesn’t work. The human brain isn’t designed to operate at full power all day long. Rather than helping you get closer to your goals, trying to focus for extended periods of time can fry your mental circuits, making it impossible to think clearly. As a result, your decision-making and creativity suffer, and your work slows to a crawl. Focus also involves an understanding of what is worthy of your distraction.

Many people wish they had more time to do all they want to do, but they’re ‘just so busy’.

Keeping a time log is a simple and surprisingly effective way to boost your productivity, get what needs to be done actually done, and realize just how ‘busy’ you’ve really been.

In many respects, it’s the first step you need to take because it makes you aware of just how you’re spending your time — the key to managing yourself more effectively.

Just by making the effort to record and analyze how you spend your day will itself raise awareness of your time and how you’re using it.

The time you invest to do it will almost certainly be paid back to you many times over as you become more conscious of how much your time matters?

Keeping a personal time management log helps you identify what you’re spending too long on… or not doing enough!

It’s surprising just how disruptive and destructive a break in focus can be for your productivity.

Often, it’s only when you look back that you can see just how much time was wasted on low value activities that you could easily outsource to others, or not get involved in at all.

Spot patterns that highlight what times of day you’re most likely to be productive, and also when you’re less so. Knowing your patterns of productivity is useful for planning.

Secret No.5

HOW TO WATCH YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE AND KEEP UPDATING IT?

Perspective has many definitions, such as the ability to understand what is important and what isn’t, and the capacity to view things in their true relationship or relative importance. If you are only thinking about problems and sorrows, that’s exactly what are you going to attract in your life. If you change your perspective and start thinking about solutions and opportunities, you are sending vibrations to attract an abundance of them.

Are you having trouble looking for the silver lining? Feeling burned out can negatively affect your life as well as your career.

Try writing a page or two on what you would like to do with the rest of your life. Don’t worry about grammar, practicalities or priorities. Just create that dream list.

Record your thoughts, feelings and hopes, or tell them to a trusted friend. With someone to witness them, you’ll feel responsible for making some changes.

Secret No.6

HOW TO ALIGN YOUR ACTIONS WITH YOUR GOALS?

It’s nice to have goals. The act of setting goals along makes you much more likely to achieve them.

But having goals isn’t enough. It’s far too easy to jot down some goals that make you feel good about yourself, only to then get distracted and forget about them altogether.

The key to achieving your goals is really simple. It comes down to aligning your actions with your goals — every single day.

If you want to lose weight, you need to eat better. If you want to build muscle, you need to lift weights. If you want to write a book, you need to start writing.

And if you want to grow your business, you need to start doing some marketing.

Goals are helpful to direct your steps. But more important than goals is the strong reason “why” you work for those goals.

When you know the deep reason why you seek for them, you’ll be more motivated to push through.

You’ll intentionally seek for opportunities that align with your “why”. You’ll filter your actions that do not support it. You’ll start your day with clarity. It’s never impossible for you to enjoy life and make a living at the same time. You can work hard or do more and still feel fulfilled.

You lose your journey to a fulfilling life when you settle your eyes on the metrics of others.

When you examine yourself, you slowly find out why you do certain actions.

When employees don’t know their company’s mission, vision or core values, they are left with a lack of direction. Instead, they need to be aware of how their projects fit into the overall organizational framework and how their specific contributions impact company strategy.

The key here is alignment. Employees at all levels need to be aligned on their companies’ larger goals, and those goals need to be broken down to a smaller scale to ensure that people remain engaged in day-to-day operations.

Managers who consistently provide feedback can help keep employees focused on their performance. Feedback acts as a reminder. Without it, employees get too caught up in their daily tasks and lose sight of the bigger picture.

Employees see the value in feedback, as well. Work board found that 72 percent of employees surveyed thought their performance would improve with more feedback. Job feedback should focus on growth and forward thinking by and how employees can learn from their mistakes.  

Additionally, employers should seek feedback from their staff. If employees feel that they aren’t informed properly or are missing information, they should be able to speak up.

If, for example, a tenured employee finds new directives to be off track, he or she should be able to express concerns and ask how a particular project contributes to the overall organizational goals.

Employees should know their role in each of their projects. To help them do this, you can use visuals to explain the company’s overall strategy and how each role advances toward its goals. Some project-management platforms provide real-time goal-tracking and present it in charts and graphs to demonstrate individual and group progress.

It’s also important to assign the right tasks to the right people. Use feedback and performance reviews to understand each employee’s level of competency and what his or her strengths are, to maintain and even improve productivity. If particular employees excel at closing sales deals, put them on the front line on client presentations.

Tasks, further, should challenge an employee to grow. Consistent feedback lets employers know their employees’ plan to evolve, which in turn informs the assignment of projects. If, for example, a tenured employee wants to expand his or her skill set and learn more about research and development, the employer can integrate that individual’s role with that department.

Engagement is essential to keep a company growing and reaching for its vision. When employees aren’t recognized, they lose track of their purpose. But in contrast, when wins are celebrated, employees want to win more.  

A simple expression of gratitude, such as a thank-you note or gift, shows employees that management is paying attention and notices that they are consistently working hard and succeeding at their individual goals.

When recognizing top talent, explain how employees’ efforts are pushing the company toward large-scale goals. Show how their performance is meeting and exceeding expectations to encourage more hard work and dedication.

Secret No.7

HOW TO KEEP IN MIND THAT YOUR FIRST DUTY IS TO YOURSELF FOR BRINGING SENSATION SUCCESS IN YOUR LIFE?

It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

Understand that life is the ultimate video game: It keeps leveling up, and you have to level up with it. Do something well enough that you make it look easy. Even if it takes 10,000 hours to get there, it’ll be worth it in the end. Figure out what your values are and stick with them. Kindness is a scarce and valuable resource. Cherish it.

Fear is the number one thing holding you back from what you want to do. Be brave enough to follow your heart. Not enough people will be.

Perspective comes when you’re not in the middle of the situation. The best view of the NYC skyline is in New Jersey, not on Fifth Avenue.

Trust your gut. When your spidery sense is tingling, pay close attention. Somehow it knows better than you do when something is right or wrong.

You will never know how much space you take up in someone else’s world.

Wounding people binds them to you more deeply than kindness. Just look at the Joker and Harley Quinn.

With that said, try to leave people better off than you found them. Leaving them worse off will have repercussions for them far beyond just you, touching everyone they interact with in the future (i.e., if you’re the first ex-boyfriend who broke her heart, she will be guarded around every man she meets after you. If you’re that first terrible boss at work, he will be jaded for the rest of his career. Just something to think about.)

Try not to use people as a means to an end. They can tell. So can you.

Most of the time, people are not trying to hurt you on purpose. Usually their actions are driven by self-interest, not malice.

Give people a second chance, if they deserve one.

Insecurity is a bitch; it bleeds into everything and can come out in unexpected ways. Be careful with your insecurities and especially careful with those of others.

The easiest way to be happy is to not be outcome-dependent.

The best relationships are like fine wine: They get better and better over time.

Whenever you can, pay it forward.

You have to have a reason for being. If your why is strong enough, then your how will fall into place. You will figure out a way.

If you’re wondering why it’s so important to do what you love, it’s because work takes up so much of your life. The vast majority of your most productive waking hours will be spent at work, so in order to love your life, you have to love what you do for a living.

Why remain in mediocrity when you can excel?

How to become efficient and effective in work? And in life, as well? These are two foremost questions.
In today’s competitive world, the word “Personal Effectiveness” has got an immense importance, and why not? Today’s work environment is very demanding and to be successful means grooming yourself and honing with the skill of being effective. Personal effectiveness is not restricted to the corporate environment. Productivity is important and can be applied well to all other walks of life. May be also the be kitchen work , gym work out or anything else carried out by you.
What is this technique and how to imbibe it?
Well, let us discuss in detail what is personal effectiveness after all?

Doing the right things and doing these right.
Peter Drucker said: “Efficiency is doing things right, Effectiveness is doing the right things”.

Self-explanatory as it is personal effectiveness of a person can be calculated by two parameters. It not only measures the result against time but also gauges the quality of work. Quality and quantity, both are important. Thus, effective people are those who can achieve more quality work in less time. While doing so they are not stressed, or confused as if they are working under pressure. Neither do they lose their physical health nor do they lose their mental or emotional one. These people are consistent and deliver results constantly.


Andre Maurois says “The effectiveness of work increases according to geometric Progression, if there are no interruptions”.
So let us take a look at how do you achieve personal effectiveness. Personal effectiveness is the art which helps in self-development. You need to observe and practice the seven important rules to achieve the same. Ask yourself these questions:     

How to increase Personal Productivity?

How to increase Personal Productivity at work?

How to improve Personal Productivity?

How to increase my Personal Productivity?

And at night write down your assessment on all the above questions how you handled these during the day in your journal.

Before you start your work keep in mind the following questions:

a) How to start a good routine?

b) How to start a good day?

c) How to start your day with positive vibes?


Thoroughly understand what you want to do, and do it in a relaxed manner.
When you start doing a certain work do start in haste, it’s not so good. Well begun is half done. Isn’t it? And that is why it is required to thoroughly understand the task which you are supposed to begin. Read through or just mind walk through the process. You may encounter some grey areas which can be dealt with by exploring more from the umpteen books and also the internet. Information can be extracted from various sources if not available readily! Isn’t this process more sensible than starting the project in a hurry and then stumbling across something which you are clueless about? This is one of the principles to work your way straight to personal effectiveness. It reduces the time in which the work is done and also improves the quality of the work.

Focus on your work. In order or develop your focus, keep following in mind.

a) What should I do for increasing focus?

b) How to focus better at work?

c) How do I increase concentration during study?


It is easier said than done! But you need to starve all the distractions that come in your way and you need to feed your focus. The art lies in not digressing from the objective in any way. Focus means to continuously put your attention on something and forget the rest of the world. When handling something of critical importance, lock yourself in where no one can disturb you. Once you start on focusing on what you want to achieve, every other stuff should appear meaningless. Focus empowers and teaches you a lot. If you love your job, this love will add to your focus. One has to decide to be focused until it becomes a habit. And eventually the end result is qualitative work in less time.

Self-belief:  It gives you immense power to work with a positive mind. Always keep in view the following:

a) Difference between confidence and belief?

b) How to motivate yourself to be confident?

c) Building self-belief is a continuous process.

d) What is the difference between confidence, over confidence and self-belief?


Undeterred faith in yourself is a sure way to personal effectiveness. Unless you believe in yourself how can you make the world believe you. Doubtful mindset spoils the results. You should have a constant strong belief in yourself and your capabilities. Best possible results often are delivered when you keep reinforcing that YOU CAN DO IT!



Expect the unexpected
Life is never a straight line. Everyone has their own ups and downs. All of us have roughs and crests. But the art to lead personally effective life is to be least disrupted due to unexpected events. You can have a plan. But rarely do plans get executed in the same way as planned. You should be proactive enough to foresee any interrupting event and should have an alternative plan which would work without any hassles. Personally effective people are prepared to handle any situation with great ease.



Application of mind is always necessary. Never keep on doing something as a matter of routine without thinking. Routine also will improve with application of mind. Check the following:

a) Habit of mind curriculum.

b) Habit of mind chart.

c) Why are habits of mind important?

d) How is mindfulness while thinking?

e) How do I make mindfulness habit?


Mind is the biggest weapon. Human beings are armed with it and must use it for improving on the battle of being competitive. Many great feats are best performed when mind is applied to those. Never take for granted even small objectives. Once you apply mind to a particular problem, you will definitely find a solution. The more you apply your mind to something that you love it becomes more effective.



Put your mind and soul into the work. Keep the following in mind and observe the difference.

a) When you put your heart and soul into your work?

b) What puts your mind at ease?

c) ‘Put your heart and soul into everything you do’: Bible verse.


When you dedicate totally and put your mind and soul into an objective, you start enjoying the work. When you do the same you leverage on opportunities .The lessons learnt through various experiences in life could also be put to use to be personally effective.

Stretch yourself to the extent, you can. Even physically stretch and find it is helpful. Keep in mind the following:

a) Stretch before work.

b) The importance of stretching when working.

C) Benefits of stretching at work.


Nothing worthwhile can be achieved by shortcuts. You should be eager to move an extra mile then only better things can happen.
It is often said that “if you wish to achieve something you haven’t you need to do something you have not!” That is where you can get different results by putting yourself to a task little more than yesterday. Your objective should not be competing with others, but improving your own self. Continuously improving the work that you do and following the other

Thanks for reading.