How to change habits by giving up the harmful and developing the desirable ones?

Sometime ago, we had a very useful discussion regarding managing CHANGE in life. The subject was how to inculcate good habits and how to ward off, the bad ones. Each participant was advised to identify 10 good habits of their friends, colleagues or of family members which each wanted to imbibe in their own personality.
At the same time they were also asked to identify 5 bad habits of their own which each wanted to give up. Besides, what efforts have been made so far to give up the bad habits were also to be explained? Since it was a Speech Training Session, the participants were supposed to detail clearly each point with examples. These examples could be chosen from their own lives or those of others known to them. A heartwarming open and interesting discussion led to a number of conclusions.
First of all it’s necessary to understand how habits work. A habit is a kind of repetitive behavior for which you don’t think. You don’t have to apply your mind to check up anything before you take action. Let’s examine with some examples. If you wake up at a particular time, you don’t need any alarm to remind you. Taking bath and getting ready is also done as a matter of habit. If you were to check the time you take for getting ready everyday it will be more or less the same. Taking your breakfast fast is also a habit which need consistent efforts to bring about the desired change.

Does it mean that we cannot change our habit/habits which we want to change? No, it doesn’t. We certainly can with required will and efforts. However some habits can be changed by one’s own efforts, whereas some others require professional help. But in both the situations one needs to adopt a systematic approach. First of all we must state clearly what new habit we want to adopt. It’s always better to write in your journal in clear terms. For example, if you have wanted to go for a morning walk but habitually you get up late, you can change this habit. After writing in your journal about your decision to start doing for a morning walk regularly you must fix up the date for starting. The first few days you may have to use the alarm which will wake you up at a particular time. It’s necessary not to laze around after the alarm. Just get ready and go for a walk. It is said that it is normally take 21 days to form a habit.
Now I give another example. If you suffer from stage fright and you cannot speak to a group by standing up, you need a professional help. You also require a firm determination that you will overcome the stage fright because it is impeding your progress. Further, you must carefully select the professional. It is like going to the right doctor for getting the ailment eliminated. With appropriate efforts and continuous practice one can definitely overcome the bane of stage fright. In today’s environment, it is necessary. In colleges you have to give presentations, and wherever you work, once you are in a senior position, you need to give presentations to your bosses.

Even if you are an entrepreneur and doing your own business, you need to motivate your staff and for this also you need great confidence. Besides, you must not have any fear of facing the people from the stage.

Five Ways to Break 10 Bad Habits

Nearly everyone has a bad habit that they should break. Some people have less than others and some people’s bad habits are more grating than those of others. Bad habits like excessive drinking, smoking, biting the fingernails, etc., starts slowly and gradually. They jeopardise your health — both physically and mentally thereby wasting your time and energy.
Bad habits are hard to give up, they are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out off. However, you can achieve anything with the right amount of willpower and a realistic plan of action. With persistence and right mind-sets, it’s possible to break your bad habits.

Here are some ideas for breaking your bad habits

1. Change one thing at a time
It is most important that you don’t try to break all your bad habits, at once. You’re not a superhuman and trying to quit all your bad habits at the same time is probably going to be hard to achieve. Instead, prioritise and choose the habit that you need to change most urgently and then focus on that accordingly.
2. Prepare for weak moments
A positive mindset is significant but if you’re not prepared for those weak moments this can be a biggest mistake. Try to remove temptations as that can help you prepare for those weak moments. For instance, clear the cupboards of junk food, keep some distance from friends who encourage you to smoke/ drink and avoid stressful situations.
3. Set regular reminders
Bad habits are often so deeply ingrained in us that sometimes they can catch us unexpectedly. To help prevent those accidental slip-ups, try setting yourself regular reminders to resist those bag habits.
4. Reward your success
The key to breaking bad habits is to make the process as rewarding and enjoyable, as possible. If you are facing difficulty focusing on the long-term benefits of breaking bad habits, then arrange small rewards for yourself as you go along to help keep you motivated.

5. Remind yourself why you’re breaking those habits
In order to successfully break a bad habit, you have to be sure of your reason for breaking those habits. Find a solid reason for breaking your habit that really means something to you – such as improving your health, relationship or appearance – and keep your goal in sight. This will help you to carry on and stay strong in moments of weakness.

Power of Good Habits!!

As described above, habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated frequently, and tends to occur unconsciously. Bad habits intrude your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. Breaking any habit can be difficult. For instance, if a person smokes regularly, it becomes his habit and even if he wants to quit, it becomes difficult for him to give-up.
Psychologist and philosopher William James proclaimed that the entire life is nothing but a series of habits that we form repeatedly. The power of habit has been explained by various authors, world leaders and motivational speakers. One of the famous Authors, Stephen R. Covey, wrote a book titled “The 7 Habits of successful People” describing an approach to being effective in realizing your goals.
One can create excellence in big things, by developing good habits even in small matters. Keeping the desk clean, using mobile with discretion, removing the clutter from your mind, etc. All these can be practiced again and again easily. When you instill these habits into your life, you create the foundation for achieving your goals.
Here are 8 Habits of highly productive people that you may adopt to get the best out of you!!

1. Ruthlessly cut away the unimportant

That’s right. Try to focus only on the important things, and cut away everything that’s unimportant. There is no point doing something that is not needed for the desired results. So push yourself to quit wasting time, and bring yourself back to the production mode.

2. Allocate breaks strategically

Productivity declines over time without taking brakes. Take many small breaks during the day. The rule of thumb would be to take a 5 to 10 minutes break every 2 hours of work. Breaks are a highly effective way to boosting your productivity.

3. Remove productivity pitfalls

Things that limit your productivity must be thrown out. It can be the loud music you listen to when you work, your phone calls, alerts from your inbox, your slow computer, the internet, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. These things trap you and prevent you from getting things done.

4. Tap into your inspiration

No matter what field you’re in, your inspiration is the key to your output. So, channel your inner muse. Keep on thinking and contemplating the things that motivates you. And definitely you will find that your focus increases thereby up surging your productivity.

5. Create barriers to entry

Don’t make yourself too accessible. If you’re too accessible, then you will face a lot of interruptions. Nowadays, people can connect with others very easily- with the touch of button (text, emails, calls, etc.). Therefore, guard your time to improve your productivity.

6. Optimise time pockets

Make the best of every minute. For instance, if you’re working for 10 minutes, ensure that you achieve maximum outcomes in those 10 minutes and then you can take time off. You usually get time pockets while waiting for people, commuting, chess app, reading books, or planning.

7. Set timelines

Be clear on what you want to achieve, and then set your timelines for them. When you set timelines, you commit to yourself to complete the work on time, hence, paving the way for the reality to manifest.

8. Automate everything possible

Technology today has made automation possible for a lot of things we do. Hence, find a way to automate every task and let it be your habit. If you outsource, delegate. Delegation and automation wherever possible will enhance your productivity.
By no means, this is a complete list. But as you focus on improving productivity by adopting good habits you will be inspired to adopt more such habits which are particularly useful to you.
Thanks for reading.

How to beat procrastination?

If you want to remove procrastination you must contemplate on the following three aspects of procrastination.

Reasons of procrastination so far as you are concerned.
Decision to remove procrastination from your life.
How to overcome procrastination at all times.

First of all let us talk about the reasons for procrastination. There could be following one or more reasons. These are laziness, indecision and health issues. It is necessary to find out which of these reasons are present in your personality and affecting your work.

If there are health issues, you must consult your doctor. In cases where there are some problems and you feel fatigue most of the time, you can be sure that there are some health problems which need to be resolved. This may time take some time and proper effort and follow-up, but it is necessary that you should undergo the process. There is no shortcut available.

If laziness is the issue you must understand that it is your habit which you have to change. Nobody else will do it for you. Habits die hard and you should be prepared to consistently work to eradicate the bad habit which you may have formed over a period of time.

If however indecision is the problem, you may have to struggle in order to become a decisive person. Here again you will have to dig deep to find out what are the reasons of your ‘indecision’. Mostly this could be related to fear of rejection or fear of failure. In either case the fear tends to become deep-rooted. While one finds it easier to escape this fear by not taking any action, in fact inaction leads to further indecision. Lower self esteem goes down and you find yourself as a poor performer. This is a serious handicap which unfortunately affects 90% of the people, today.

In any case all the above reasons have to be properly identified. These have to be properly addressed. Then only you can go to the next step which is consciously deciding to do away with this bane of life.

How do we do that?

Again, you have to do some research from your own life. You have also to document the problems that you have been facing; losses that this useless habit, procrastination, is causing continuously. It is better to write down all such situations and the damage procrastination has caused in your life in the past. Do it is for as long a period as you can go. Go through the history of the sufferings and of the all losses that you would have suffered. If it is possible you try to convert all the losses into money. Find out the total money lost due to your habit of procrastination. This will open your eyes. It will then be easier to realize that your progress has been suffering because of this bad habit which has been lingering on in your life.

The exercise will surely motivate you to stop procrastination. But don’t ever think that you will be rid of this malady easily. Therefore be prepared to work hard to achieve this feat. The good thing is that consistent efforts in this direction will surely produce results. If you have gone through this exercise honestly and diligently, you will surely decide to ward of this wasteful and costly habit. You will do whatever it takes to achieve this.

Start following your mind, taking actions whatever your inner self suggests. At the same time you have to keep on measuring the result. I have talked to you about two of the three aspects which I mentioned in the beginning and which we must study. Having talked about reasons for procrastination and taking a decision to remove it, eradicate it, we come to the most important aspect of the project. That is how to overcome the procrastination.

I have two critical suggestions which are known to bring forth excellent results. The first one is to start writing a journal. At the end of each day sit down for a few minutes and write down all that happened during the day. Focus on your procrastination. Note down where are you could have acted better. You should also note down if you had postponed anything which needed to be done. For that you should further describe the possible losses which postponing can cause in the coming time. The process of documenting these problems will surely play a very potent role in your enhancing efforts to overcome the serious problem, the one, which has been creating misery in your life.

The second suggestion that I want to give in this regard is: start reading stories of great achievers. You will find that most of them have achieved what they did because they never suffered from procrastination. In some cases the stories may or may not document how they overcame this serious roadblock if at all they had. Therefore do read. In either case you will be motivated to ward off procrastination in life. Even your basic logic will tell you that it is not worth suffering because of a habit which has never helped anyone. Their life stories will inspire you to follow their examples and do your duties diligently. When you are engaged in performance of your duty, you will find that there is no opportunity to procrastinate.

These are not by any means comprehensive solutions. These are just proven suggestions. You may find some other ways which could be helpful in addition to these. Do everything in your control to fight this enemy of your progress procrastination.

Thanks for reading.

Poem of the Day – Time

Time

Often,

Value of time is little known
for time’s inherent wealth,
scanty respect is shown.
Any other possession; if
we lose.
We can try to get it back
if we choose.
Wealth of time
will never return.
Simple lesson, though
often we don’t learn.
For time if lost, is lost forever.
It’s same for the stupid, and the clever.
Yet if asked, how much
you value your time
you may find, you care less.
With invaluable time;
should we ever make a mess?
We regret mistakes
committed in the past.
And for futures’ sake,
worry our tasks.
What about the present?
We seem to forget;
though ‘present’ is the best time, I bet.
Every moment of time you must use
Achieving anything significant that you may choose.

Five Ways to Break 10 Bad Habits

Bad Habits
Nearly everyone has a bad habit that they should break. Some people have less than others and some people’s bad habits are more grating than those of others. Bad habits like excessive drinking, smoking, biting the fingernails, etc., starts slowly and gradually. They jeopardize your health — both physically and mentally thereby wasting your time and energy.
Bad habits are hard to give up, they are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out off. However, you can achieve anything with the right amount of willpower and a realistic plan of action. With persistence and right mind-sets, it’s possible to break your bad habits.
Here are some ideas for breaking your bad habits
1. Change one thing at a time
It is most important that you don’t try to break all your bad habits, at once. You’re not a superhuman and trying to quit all your bad habits at the same time is probably going to be hard to achieve. Instead, prioritize and choose the habit that you need to change most urgently and then focus on that accordingly.
2. Prepare for weak moments
A positive mindset is significant but if you’re not prepared for those weak moments this can be a biggest mistake. Try to remove temptations as that can help you prepare for those weak moments. For instance, clear the cupboards of junk food, keep some distance from friends who encourage you to smoke/ drink and avoid stressful situations.
3. Set regular reminders
Bad habits are often so deeply ingrained in us that sometimes they can catch us unexpectedly. To help prevent those accidental slip-ups, try setting yourself regular reminders to resist those bag habits.
4. Reward your success
The key to breaking bad habits is to make the process as rewarding and enjoyable, as possible. If you are facing difficulty focusing on the long-term benefits of breaking bad habits, then arrange small rewards for yourself as you go along to help keep you motivated.
5. Remind yourself why you’re breaking those habits
In order to successfully break a bad habit, you have to be sure of your reason for breaking those habits. Find a solid reason for breaking your habit that really means something to you – such as improving your health, relationship or appearance – and keep your goal in sight. This will help you to carry on and stay strong in moments of weakness.
10 habits you must quit to be happy
When you quit doing the bad things, you make more room for the things that make you happy. Aristotle, a great philosopher once said, “we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit”. However, here are 10 habits that you need to give up in exchange for your happiness.

Quit procrastinating on your goals
Quit talking down to yourself
Quit blaming others and making excuses
Quit trying to control the uncontrollable
Quit criticizing others
Quit trying to avoid change
Quit running from your problems and fears
Quit trying to be someone you’re not
Quit living in another time and place
Quit being ungrateful

Thanks for reading.

12 Questions for Self Assessment in respect of your Attitude:

Scores: 36 and above – you are doing well. Excellence has no limits. Keep going!
24 to 35 – please work on the areas that need improvement.
23 and below – there is an urgent need to change your attitude.
Thanks for reading.

Three reasons why Blame Game is the worst!

Scenario 1:
1) An employee couldn’t submit the annual report on time. On enquiring he blamed the delay in work to the team’s noncooperation.
Many other commonplace scenarios occur in everyone’s life. And these are what we call as blame game.
So what exactly it means? Well, blaming others’ or situations for one’s own failures. This generally happens when one is not ready to take up responsibility of one’s failure because of ego or fear of criticism. Blame game means the activity by which one tries to identify the person or situation that can be made a scapegoat. In the above mentioned example the employee comfortably blamed the teammates for not co-operating with him. Sometimes the reasons are true but in most cases these are mere excuses one produces for hiding what one is incapable of doing. This makes them unsuccessful and then it becomes a habit.
Yes! Blame Game can become a habit if not consciously uprooted from one’s life!
And what does blame game indicate? The blame game is the game of timid. It comes easily to those who do not have courage to face life. Life poses several questions at various times. The people who are afraid of failures are the people who try to escape by blaming others. Life is two sided coin. It comes with the successful moments as well as failures. World hasn’t witnessed a person who hasn’t seen and experienced both. Then why to fear failure?
Winston Churchill once said,” Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm”!
Blame game is the worst played game which comes due to the following reasons:
1) Lack of courage: People who lack courage fear to face failures. They don’t want to take charge of something that they failed in. They want to shrug off the responsibility of failure and thus, they find an excuse for the failure. They blame the circumstances, the situations and many times other people who are involved in the project with them.
As the saying goes, “An inefficient workman always blames his tools”!
These gamers find excuses which would make them less responsible of the failure.
Certainly, the example quoted above is that of a blame game instead of an excuse. If people were not co-operating the employee could have arranged for a meet to discuss the issues!
People with courage often stand up for their failures. They analyze what went wrong in their efforts and if at all it is their mistake they accept it wholeheartedly. They are bold enough to accept their mistakes and learn from those for future projects. They firmly believe in the philosophy that “ In order to succeed in life you must first be willing to experience failure”!
2) Lack of Discipline: “The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets”!
Discipline is a must to succeed in life. If one doesn’t possess this virtue, he tends to play blame game when he fails. When one starts a project or a task one should be good at estimating the time it will take to complete the project. One needs lot of persistent efforts to finish the work in particular time.
Indiscipline interferes with the persistency of efforts and causes missing links which may not be connected again or may take longer to connect. This leads to loose ends and yes failure! One has to inculcate the habit of discipline in order to stop the worst game of blame game.
Discipline after all is knowing what needs to be done and doing the same when you actually don’t want to do it!
3) Procrastination: “Procrastination is like a credit card- It is fun until you get the bill”
And the price of procrastination is quite huge. Don’t put it off to tomorrow what you can do it today. People who like to blame others and situations for their failure are the ones who procrastinate the most. The tendency to avoid difficult work is the one which leads to procrastination of work. One needs to apply mind to difficult tasks at hand. One needs to manage time well, by prioritizing the activities one has. “Project prioritization matrix- Eisenhower matrix “ is a tool which can help anyone keep the track of importance of any activity based on its urgency. Once an activity gets delayed one may get entangled with other routine activity or countering an urgent task.
These are some of the reasons why one takes the rescue of blame game. One needs to change oneself and inculcate power of good habits. Habits change when one continuously works on them. It takes time but the self esteem it builds is totally worth it.
Thanks for reading.

Attitude

Life is a continuous interplay of problems and solutions. Every day comes with some kind of problems small, medium or large. It is our job to find a solution and resolve the same with our required action. Not finding a solution or alternative solutions is the biggest problem which needs to be avoided in any case. “It is said that every challenge offers new opportunities. No doubt it does. Then how is it that we are afraid of challenges. Two reasons. Our negative attitude and lack of courage. Then what should we do? How do we change? How should we develop a positive attitude? Certainly there is no quick fix. But the reward of bringing about this change i.e. from negative attitude to cultivating positive one, very well deserves, the efforts that we have to put in. And what are these efforts? How do we go about it? Chisel this change with following measures:

Look for rose flower not the thorns. No doubt the rose plant is full of thorns. If you are afraid about the thorns you may never reach the rose. So focus only on the rose. Be careful about the thorns and get the rose. Rose is your reward. In fact that’s what you want- the rose. But the plant is full of problems. These are challenges. Don’t be scared about challenges and with careful efforts you will surely secure your results.
Procrastination is the bane of life. It doesn’t allow you to go ahead and take action. Procrastination pushes you into laziness and a maze of indecisive thinking. It is the worst enemy of positive attitude. So defeat it. Always believe in ‘doing it now!”
Anyone has the strengths and weaknesses. Rely on your strengths. Leverage these for productive work. Leverage these for overcoming your weaknesses. Identify the weaknesses and do all what it takes to overcome these. It will raise your self-esteem. It will develop your positive attitude.
Banish these four negative emotions that ruin your efforts to develop a positive attitude. These are: Indecision, Suspicious, Greed and Credulity. Actually each one of these emotions becomes the reason for tragedy of Shakespearean Heroes as under.

Hamlet was indecisive.
Othello was an embodiment or suspicious.
Macbeth moves to the tragic end because of unending Greed.
King Lear suffered because of credulity. Being credulity leads to people hoodwinking you. This leads to disillusionment & suffering. In turn, it makes you a negative thinker.

Breed Positive Assumptions about people and about situations. Often times, we do not reach out to people for help because we are afraid of rejection. Never be afraid of rejection. Even if it happens, take it in its stride. Often, you will be surprised that those very people regarding whom you harbored negative assumptions are happy to help you. I read a book which in the preface talked about success- Eleven important principles of success and what are these? Ask, Ask, Ask………..11 times.

Marry the spouse whom you love. Otherwise start loving earnestly whom you marry. Our likes and dislikes are not writings on the wall. They keep on changing like anything else. So you can start loving your job and you must. It will make your attitude positive.
Last but not the least. Avoid negative influences. Don’t have company of negative people, don’t read negative literature and don’t watch negative movies. All pleasure seekers end in pain. Those who lure you to undesirable stuff don’t deserve your attention or regard.

Thanks for reading.

Enemies of Happiness- Procrastination

Procrastination is the bane of life. It is a major problem. The procrastinator losses perspective. He/she tends to do unimportant tasks because either they are easy or to his/her liking. In any case this is a bad habit which must be eradicated all together.

Normally one tends to postpone difficult and time consuming projects. In case the project is likely to take a long time you need to decide that you must make a beginning. Long ago I had listen to a training tape where the trainer said that in such cases use ‘Salami Technique.’ Further he described when you look at the Salami it is very unappetizing to look at. But if you cut it into smaller slices it becomes quite palatable. Similarly if we break a daunting task in small pieces we can handle the small parts of the problem and solve it using this piecemeal approach. The best suggestion is that you focus on starting the project rather than thinking about how it is going to be finished.

Another suggestion is that you decide that you will devote only 10 minutes on the tasks which you have been postponing. Spend these 10 minutes. You may note down the steps that you are likely to follow. At the end of 10 minutes you should write it down when you’re going to spend next 10 minutes on the same job. Deciding and spending just 10 minutes will not create any kind of pressure in your mind. And that is the best way to handle the job which you have been postponing. After completing every bit of it you can pat your back with any such thing that you love to do. May be listening to your favorite music, watching a TV show, or any such thing. This will reinforce your good habit of taking on the difficult, challenging projects and delivering results with confidence.

Thanks for reading.

Enemies of Happiness 2

Yesterday I had talked about 8 enemies of happiness which resides in human’s body or soul. I had detailed 4 out of these that is anger, fear, jealousy and indecision. If you have contemplated as suggested, am confident that you would have found sufficient relevance of this discussion. Today I shall talk about attachment, hesitation, procrastination and greed. These are also happiness spoilers. Greed if goes unrefined, can cause disaster.
Attachment: Bhagwad Gita advises that any human should not be attached to anything. By attachment I mean you should never have such proximity that separation to that particular object may cause distress. Change is the law of Nature. Everything changes. These changes are bound to bring some objects (including people) close to you and some other away from you. In both situations you have to maintain your poise realizing that this is how life is. It was like this. It is so now. And it will remain the same in all times to come. So for our own happiness we can start practicing non attachment.

Hesitation: Hesitation for anything must be avoided. Your expression is important. If you hesitate to express or to take any action, the opportunity lost will never come back.

Procrastination: It is malady which inflicts some of us. Postponing tasks or decisions do not allow one to grow. Self esteem is lost and guilt inside the mind grows. Therefore it’s best to eradicate the habit of procrastination.

Greed: Greed grows like cancerous cells. Ambition is not greed so therefore both these terms must be understood in their proper perspective. Without ambition you tend not to set your goals and follow them. But greed of any kind mostly takes human to a disasters end. In life, we have example of Hitler. In literature, we have example of Macbeth. The character of Macbeth in Shakespearean play by the same name is nothing but an embodiment of Greed. So banish Greed, altogether!

In my next posting I shall talk about ‘Enemies of Happiness’ outside.
Thanks for reading.

If you want to remove procrastination you must contemplate on the following three aspects of procrastination.

Reasons of procrastination so far as you are concerned.

Decision to remove procrastination from your life.

How to overcome procrastination at all times.

First of all let us talk about the reasons for procrastination. There could be following one or more reasons. These are laziness, indecision and health issues. It is necessary to find out which of these reasons are present in your personality and affecting your work.

If laziness is the issue you must understand that it is your habit which you have to change. Nobody else will do it for you. Habits die hard and you should be prepared to consistently work to eradicate the bad habit which you may have formed over a period of time.

In any case all the above reasons have to be properly identified. These have to be properly addressed. Then only you can go to the next step which is consciously deciding to do away with this bane of life.

How do we do that?

These are not by any means comprehensive solutions. These are just proven suggestions. You may find some other ways which could be helpful in addition to these. Do everything in your control to fight this enemy of your progress procrastination.

Thanks for reading.

Time

Often,