Everyone loves to enjoy
beauty. The beauty of nature is captivating. but, what is beauty when it comes
to human beings? Beauty is not something that comes from physical appearance.
Physical attractiveness are deception; what matters really is the nature of a
person. It is true that beautiful or handsome people are more
appealing. But we can have a reliable relationship and long lasting trust only
on the personalities of people. Physical appearance of a person might fade as
years pass on; but their characters do not. So, we should nit judge anyone or
anything by the appearance. It is a great wisdom to realize that “Beauty Is In the
Eye of The Beholder”
If we all are familiar about the proverb “All
that Glitters is Not Gold”, then we would be aware that we cannot believe
someone by their appearance. When we are in the light of wisdom outer beauty of
a person will not drive us. What makes a person attractive is
the inner beauty.
People with inner beauty are those that love
to make peace with everyone, take care of fellow beings and try to follow the
path of justice.
How many of us remember the significance of physical beauty when we talk about King Maker Kamarajar? (Late Chief Minister Tamil Nadu).
Do we think physical appearance is important even after we hold Sports personalities like Sachin Tendulkar, Mary Kom, Maria Sharapova and many others as our role models? We do not see the appearance of these people to keep them high as our inspiration. Their talents and achievements are incomparable and that is what has made them world famous. If we think they have become famous by their beauty then it is our foolishness
The legends who have lived and made us realize the importances of inner beauty are: Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. Nelson Mandela is a great man known for his sacrifice Mandela was willing to sacrifice in order bring equality and get equal rights for the Blacks in South Africa. He is definitely a legend with inner beauty. Mahatma Gandhi, who fought till death for Free India is a man of inner beauty. If we learn the sacrifice Mother Teresa made in her life to serve the poor, we will agree that Beauty lies inside not outside.
Only when we know what real beauty is, we will understand what we see in the outside is just a projection. What matters is the character inside. Like how we see a jack-fruit as a hard and rough fruits outside, but a sweet and yummy piece of delight inside, it is true that “Beauty Lies in the Eye of The Beholder”.
Contributed by Pravin More, a student of our Public
Speaking Course.
Public speaking has become extremely important today. While the content is the king, speaker has to be choosy about the language. We find that language used by some of the speakers is so compelling that listeners are highly influenced. I am detailing below 6 language techniques which make the speech highly effective:
1. Using clear spoken language: Spoken language is not the same as written language. Its sentences have to be short. The long sentences may work well if properly punctuated in the written essay but in speech short (or of medium length) sentences are better. Besides to make you speech interesting, vary the length of your spoken sentences. Further, concrete words should be used rather than the abstract ones. Verbosity needs to be avoided, totally. Above all, greater use of restatement is recommended. But the same should not be repetition the words which you have already used. 2. Concrete language: The language when the listener can create images in his mind. e. g. we say “the legs of speaker were shaking and repetitively he was wiping perspiration on his face.” The above statement is far more effective than saying that the speaker was extremely nervous and did not know how to proceed with a speech.
3. Specific words: It’s better to use specific words rather than generic. e. g. when we say a president of a company it is specific but if we just say manager though president is also a manager, but it is not specific. Manager is more specific than saying an administrator. Indeed, the manager is also an administrator. 4. Figures of speech: Use of any figure of speech makes the speech very interesting. There are number of elements which when used with discretion dramatically improves the quality of the speech. Figures of speech are: i) Metaphor: metaphor is application of a name or description to something to which it is not literary related. For example, one may say, “life a camera. Just focus on what is important and capture the good times. Develop from the negative and if things don’t work take another shot.” Another example would be- so often we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey. Such metaphors used appropriately are highly appreciated.
ii) Hyperbole: when
we exaggerate anything for emphasis that would be known as hyperbole. The
following are the examples of hyperbole in views.
An obvious and purposeful statement of exaggeration used for
emphasis, dramatic effect, and to make a clear poem.
How do I love thee? Let me count the
ways.
“We cannot solve our problems with
the same thinking we used when we created them.”
iii) Personification: The attribution of human character to animals/inanimate
objects or abstract notions is known as personification. Examples:
Time leaps forward
The starts winked at me
The Sun smiled on the city as a new
day began.
The piercing look almost broke the
glass
5. Art of restatement: The restatement is an extremely effective way of putting across your point. However, it is important that you should not use the same words or the same sentence again and again. Use language which expresses the same idea but in different words. Imagination and application of mind will do the trick. 6. Creating emphasis: The speaker may use contras. Rhetorical questions can be asked to create a dramatic effect on the listeners. Contras are when you talk of totally opposite things together. Likewise rhetorical questions are such, which leave the audience aghast.
One of the most popular speeches of
20th century is ‘I have a dream’ by Martin Luther King. In
this speech, he uses all types of figures of speech. In fact only their adept use
has made the speech so popular, and so effective.
There has been always a debate whether the leader is born or they make themselves. There are many instances where a person born in a rich family or that of a leader but they failed miserably. It’s not that they cannot become leaders. But their birth does not guarantee that they will be leaders. There are no qualities which can be attributed towards the birth of the leader. On one side there are many examples where in spite of the advantage at birth people have not made any mark in their lives while on the other people born poor and deprived of all resources have made it big. While some can be held responsible for misusing all the opportunities the other create opportunities and leave a rich legacy.
An individual grows under influences. The influence of his/her parents is very important, and then teachers are important. They are also influenced by the friends, neighbors and the all they interact with. But no such influence is so dominant which can churn out a leader. Leadership is acquired by choice. One becomes a leader when he/she is prepared to pay the price for leadership. Leadership does not come cheap. It requires your determination, your discipline, willingness to undertake hard work and more importantly consistency. It’s a strong desire and consistent effort to excel in any human ability which can create a leader. There are many reasons why a leader must be consistent in his/her conduct, approach to life and belief and vision. Firstly the followers would feel secure under the guardianship only of a predictable consistent person. Secondly if the leader is not discipline he cannot control his behavior, attitude and even emotions. All these are responsible for the interpersonal skills of the leader. They may spoil the relationship by simple unpredictable mistakes. Besides, inconsistency wastes time of the leader as well as the follower. Above all if the leader is not consistent how can one expect the followers will be consistent. Indeed, nothing worthwhile can be achieved without consistency. Now let’s look at the lives of some self-made leaders. 1. Andrew Carnegie the founder of Carnegie steel was born to poor parents in Scotland. Due to financial difficulties the family migrated to US. When he was 13 he was changing schools of threat in a Cotton mail- 12 hours a day. Going through various difficult jobs he finally became the owner of Carnegie Steel Corporation which was the largest in the world at that time.
2. Dhirubhai Ambani is another very well-known story. Initially it is said that he was doing small jobs in his village. He would also set up Bhajia stalls at village fairs. However his grit and strong desire to create something worthwhile enabled him to become the owner of one of the richest family in the world.
3. Walt Disney was a cartoonist. Often he was without job. Many a times he could not afford to buy a meal. Then he started animating his own cartoons. Our childhood without Walt Disney’s cartoon would have been dull. Today the entire world recognizes Disney for his contribution to society for entertaining children’s and adults both.
4. Mr. Soichor Honda the owner of Honda Company, In Japan is another example to support the statement that leaders are made and not born. When he grew up he wanted to work in a two wheeler factory but he could not get a job. He had undergone extremely hard times but his courage to face difficulties and his audacity to stick to his mission, enabled him to create Honda. We all know Honda today not only for the Motor Bikes but also for hot selling cars.
Hi, Today I’ll talk to you about 6 critical aspects of one’s personality. There should never be ignored. This can happen only with a positive attitude. One has to keep on updating knowledge on personality aspects in this fast changing world. Which are the six characteristics that define a successful person? 1. The first one represents the physical aspects. How do you look? How you carry yourself and the clothes that you wear. These are important. Your posture, the body language and your smile are even more important. Practice and rehearse your smile for different situations. This may appear silly. But it is not.
2. After physical aspects, you must develop a positive attitude. Overcome all negative assumptions. First you have to identify these negative assumptions and then throw this art. An open mind without preconceived notions, alone can breed a positive attitude.
3. Third point to be emphasized is about your communications- both verbal & written. Regarding verbal, you must ensure that you sport a reasonable cordiality at all times. A smile on your face and a desire to be cordial will do the trick. Your voice quality and modulation while speaking are also very important for the efficacy of your communications.
4. Fourth notable characteristic of personality is competence in interpersonal skills. It’s necessary to be adept in interpersonal skills. Today, more than ever before. On can achieve progress only with the help and co-operation of others. That makes if necessary that we build good relations with all concerned. It so one must develop the required capacity to build good relations.
5. Fifth distinctive feature of a successful personality is time management. Little can be achieved by anyone if his/her time is out managed productively. Only when you are and time wise you achieve something significant. Otherwise you are left behind. Growth and progress are no longer linear. They are exponential. So it’s imperative to make the best use of limited time available to us.
6. Finally & the sixth distinctive quality of personality is about your goals, focus & perspective. Success can be achieved only by consistently making efforts toward realization of your goals. This can happen with your focus on what is required to be done. Perspective must not be allowed to be prejudiced. Any circumstances or situations should not impact your desire & ability to pursue your goals.
Each person is an individual. The way they are, think, act or react are also different. So they are bound to be. Often times we perceive certain people as difficult even though they may not be if we try to understand them closely. In any case there are indeed some difficult people. We have to deal with them, nevertheless. We cannot avoid them in society, family and/or work place.
It is necessary to form a strategy
of dealing with difficult people who are important to us. The critical steps
are
To specify what we want to achieve.
Which means could be best to achieve the objective.
To understand them (difficult people) dispassionately
To try to get in to their shoes to evaluate the
situation from their perspective
What they perceive about you and what could be their
objective in your relationship.
Once you have reviewed the above, the next logical step is to reassess the situation. And review your actions. Take time to do it. In meetings, listen to them closely. Make them realize that you are assimilating their concern not because you have to but also because you like to. This will change the way difficult people look at you and your disposition. Your task becomes easier.
Further, during the meeting ask most relevant questions and briefly. It’s necessary to control your modulation during these conversations. You need to make your interaction informal, interesting and earnest. Listen to their response to your questions intently. Assess their response and think through your own response. And then be prepared to meet them again.
Difficult
people are not so difficult, after all.
Thanks for reading
Public Speaking is no longer for the leaders
only. It is important that even students, executives, or the CEOs all have to
master the art of Public Speaking today.
What is Public Speaking? The simple
definition of Public Speaking to present your views to the audience confidently,
and in a manner that the audience not only understands but also assimilates.
Similarly any business leader has to achieve the same objective when he is
motivating his team or when he is defining the goals of the organization.
The fear of Public Speaking stems on the
inherent fear that what if your idea is rejected. What if people laugh at you?
This is also known as glossophobia which has been plaguing Speakers from time
immemorial. While earlier there were no institutes where one could learn or
practice public speaking, now there are many in every city all over the world.
Often there is a question what is the
difference between Public Speaking and Presentation Skills? Today, everyone has
to make presentations irrespective of his/her profile. Even the students are
asked to make presentations. There is not any significant difference between
the two, except that of nomenclature. Even conversations among people,
colleagues and social contacts also require the same skills which are
recommended for the Public Speaker.
Understanding these questions, and the need to
imparting training to overcome the anxiety, to remove any kind of fear from the
mind of the person who wants to express ideas, many independent trainers and
even online help is available. So, there is no longer only reason to continue
to shy away from The speaking assignments. The confidence which is required for
such an activity has to be built up and that is what can he achieved with
training. Though not easy, but it is not
something which is too difficult to achieve. The important steps to become a
good speaker are:
You must know your subject completely. Whenever and wherever
it is needed carry out adequate research to update your knowledge. Always
remember content is the King.
Try to acquire as much information about you audience as
possible
When you know your audience you will the able to work out
your speech more efficiently. Because you will the able to assess their needs,
likes and dislikes etc.
To begin with, follow the simple method of preparing the
speech in the following manner.
You must define
your subject and introduce the same in simple language. Your introduction can
also include the important points which you will deal with in your speech.
For a ten minutes speech, you may include 2 or 3 points
only. Explain these with examples to which your audience can relate.
How to prepare the speech for the occasion?
How to prepare for an important negotiation? How to bring conviction in your
thoughts? How to understand the body language of your listener(s), are some of
the questions which are dealt with in great detail even in some of the videos
on YouTube. We understand that not being able to answer these questions always
leads to lack of confidence. Unless one speaks confidently, the audience will
never be able to relate with the speaker.
The language also plays an important role. It enables you to make simple effective sentences which are easily understood by your audience. It must be emphasized the need to understand the people you are going to talk to, or your audience at large, is as important as your content if not more. How to hold the attention of the people is indeed important and these techniques are the ones which need to be understood, but ensure that they are imbibed in your personality.
There are many advantages of a good communicator.
Your efforts will imparts knowledge; give public speaking tips which can be
used on all occasions. You can also include quotations of world famous Public
speakers of various eras, while due to advancement of technology and changing
times, some modern modifications may the required but basic principles remain the
same which were explained centuries ago by the Greek philosopher in three words;
Ethos and Logos. Ethos stands for your credibility and reputation on the subject,
pathos stands for the needs of the audience and Logos how you construct your
arguments.
Pages from my forthcoming book, ‘PowerPacked Personality’
for Your FREE reading!
In your life,
you alone are responsible for your success and status in society. So if you
want to realize your dream, the first thing you have to is to describe it
vividly. It should be so clear that you can see it closing your eyes. This is
like defining where you want to go. Obviously, if you don’t know your
destination, how will you reach there. That brings us to the most critical
question in life which is that of Goals.
What are Goals? Anything that we do in life, we spend our precious time and money must bring about desired results. But often it does not happen. Why? Do we always try to figure out the reasons? If not, then why not? Because our goals are not clear. Because our desire to achieve the results is not so strong. So what should we do? Sit back and think that everything will be alright? Or, that our luck is bad? No! We must clearly define what we want to achieve. Write these clearly on our diary/journal. Make it known to the friends, family members, peers wherever it is necessary. Particularly to our well wishers. When we make our goals known to others, we become more committed. Then, we should create a strong desire within us to achieve our goals. We need to contemplate on these as often as possible. Further, we need to plan how to achieve our goals. Work out the plan and write it down. Spend some time, contribute something, however small, daily towards achievement of what you want to do in life. It is worth it. And, you will be surprised to find how effective this process is for achieving what you want. Goals should be short-term, medium-term, and long-term. In other words, what you want to achieve in the current year, next five years, ten years, twenty years, etc. Never think about obscurity of the future and changing times. Instead think that I have the ‘right’ and possibility of modifying my goals as per the needs of the changing times. Furthermore, you need to work about a practical plan to achieve each of your goals. This should be backed up with action, your genuine effort to follow the plan. Life will be a lot more meaningful when the goals are well-defined and the plan to achieve these is followed.
Types of Personal Goals:
Setting your goals defines significance of your life. Your
self-esteem will go up surely if you passionately try to follow your goals.
There are 7 different types of goals which need to be defined. It is not about
money or career only. Below are the 7 different types of goals which may
be clearly defined and written. These are:
Health
Goals: Health is of prime importance,
indeed. Yet many times it has been found that even common principles of
maintaining good health are ignored. As per our scriptures a human is made to
live about 100 years. When we look after our health properly we may live close
to that age or even overstep it. But if we are not careful, life may shorten to
any extent. If you love your life and want to live longer, set your health
goals. Also prepare and follow the plan to lead a healthy life.
Career
Goals: Career goals are undoubtedly
extremely important. Any educated individual would like to progress in the
career he/she is pursuing. But often it is only a wish. The best thing to do is
to write down specifically what you want to achieve. This may mean – define the
position and also define the timeline.
Financial Goals: Though finance and career are closely connected, yet it is
necessary to specify separately your financial goals. Again, these should be
time bound according to your needs, your family requirements and your social
obligations. If necessary, consult a financial adviser and then carve out your
own plan.
Family
Goals: We all want to lead a happy family
life- within our own nuclear family, extended family and relatives. Even today
there are examples of joint families living together happily. Maintaining good
relations require you to be proficient in interpersonal skills. It’s necessary
to use discretion in speech even with your spouse, children, parents etc. Not
only the words but the way how you speak is important. When you have set your
goals you have greater chances to keep on improving in this direction.
Social
Goals: Everyone would like to be a
respected member of the society. Whether it is neighborhood or a club, or an
association, you would like to build up your reputation. This can be achieved
with necessary efforts provided you have stated your specific goals.
Hobby
Goals: It is recommended that everyone must
pursue at least one hobby. It’s investing in an activity for your own self.
Music, theater, dance, painting is example of common hobbies. But it could also
be collecting stamps, artifacts, antiques etc. Just as per your fancy, follow a
hobby.
Spiritual
Goals: Last but not the least; we should
define the spiritual goals. We all know that we don’t have to live on this
earth forever. During stay here often we may think about how we like to be
remembered. Think about how we should face the eternal force of which know very
little. That is why people follow their own religion, which should be a united
force. Religion helps to maintain our peace of mind. So we must note down our
specific spiritual goals.
All the above goals are meaningless unless we write these down, make a plan to pursue each goal and execute that plan. The goals may be reviewed and modified as per the requirements of changing times.
Goals: Setting
Your
Just imagine a football playground without goals. How can anyone play the match in the absence of goals on both sides? Unless there is a target what can you shoot at? Unless the teacher explains what kind of questions he is likely to face in the examination, how can the student prepare? Likewise, it’s not possible to achieve anything worthwhile without specifying your personal goals. If you gave the archer a target and challenged him to hit the bull’s eye, the challenge motivates the shooter and makes him/her to do their best. You have to give anyone something to aim at, something to challenge his skills. Further, there must be defined parameters to measure the progress. That motivates a person, creates an interest which can sustain action and hard work. That’s what a goal does to a person’s life, it motivates the person to achieve something worthwhile, something he or she desires. That brings about a big change in the attitude. Every one is endowed with a precious gift of life, it’s our duty to make best use of it. You were given a life and you’ve been told ever since to, “live it.‘
Everybody in this world has a different set of circumstances, different set of skills, and a different set of opportunities through which they can interact with the world and find their unique sense of fulfillment. You’re mission in life should be to figure out what your unique, “sets” are and how you can take action to best capitalize on them that gives all of your effort purpose and meaning. Goals are the guiding light that get you there. Take your time reading through the quotes below and the notes/remarks that follow. Think about these and reflect to work out what are your objectives. The exercise will help you specify what your goals should be as per your needs and desire. Since goals must be written as clearly as possible, it will also help you to make these articulate in your mind so that you can put it on paper clearly. Unless the goals are written in detail, these remain your wishes which have little meaning. Timeline is also critical in purposeful goal setting.
“A goal properly set is halfway
reached.” ~ Zig Ziglar
“You cannot change your destination
overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” ~ Jim Rohn
“It’s better to be at the bottom of
the ladder you want to climb than at the top of the one you don’t.” ~ Stephen
Kellogg
“If you don’t design your own life
plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else plan. And guess what they have
planned for you? Not much.” ~ Jim Rohn
“All who have accomplished great
things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high,
one which sometimes seemed impossible.” ~ Orison Swett Marden
“The greater danger for most of us
isn’t that our aim is too high and miss it, but that it is too low and we reach
it.” ~ Michelangelo
“Give me a stock clerk with a goal
and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and
I’ll give you a stock clerk.” ~ J.C. Penney
“Intention without action is an
insult to those who expect the best from you.” ~ Andy Andrews
“I am here for a purpose and that
purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.
Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all
and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.” ~ Og Mandino
“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan,
in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act.
There is no other route to success.” ~ Pablo Picasso
“If you raise your standards but don’t really believe you
can meet them, you’ve already sabotaged yourself. You won’t even try; you’ll be
lacking the sense of certainty that allows you to tap the deepest capacity
that’s within you… Our beliefs are like unquestioned commands, telling us how
things are, what’s possible and impossible and what we can and can not do. They
shape every action, every thought and every feeling that we experience. As a
result, changing our belief systems is central to making any real and lasting
change in our lives.” ~ Anthony Robbins
“My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind
what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we
never lose – somehow we always win out.” ~ Ronald Reagan
Now it should be easy to specifically write down your goals. Take following steps:
Step One: Write down in clear terms what do you want to do. Step Two: Think many times to be sure of what you are thinking at the moment is really what you want.
Step Three: Write down in specific terms what you have decided after thinking it over.
Step Four: Check if your Goal are SMART where S stands for specific, M stands for measureable, A stands for achievable, R stands for ready, and T stands for time bound.
In the following chapter you will understand how to make a plan to achieve your goals and the steps you need to take to implement the plan. At times, you may face some hurdles. What action you must take then is also explained. Thanks for reading.
What is depression? Often, a demanding situation creates confusion. It
causes mental stress, physical stress and also psychological stress. When a
person is not able to cope up with the stress created by these difficult
situations he or she falls into depression. It is a state when the person the
starts feeling that there is no way out for them. Life appears to be difficult
and spirit of hopelessness prevails. In such circumstances the person becomes a
pessimist and feels that there is no solution to their problems. In such a
hopeless situation the victim finds that life is the absolutely meaningless. In
extreme cases the victim also thinks of ending the life by committing a
suicide.
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION
1. Swinging,
irresponsible & unexpected moods
The mood of the person remains changing. Sometimes he or she is very sad.
At other times they become very aggressive. They also tend to become very
irritable. Even normal criticism or advice by elders is thwarted recklessly.
They remain very unsettled and are mostly at a loss to know what they are and
what they want to do.
2. Behavioural changes
Even the person who has been conducting himself for herself very
elegantly becomes rude and irrational. The normal curtesy too is lost when the
person is depressed. The victims of the disease lose the track of how to
conduct themselves appropriately at all places. Their behaviour leads to
spoiling of relations with their friends relatives and peers.
3. Sleep disorders
The person who is suffering from depression is not able to sleep
properly. Sometimes they are not able to sleep at all. At other times they keep
on remaining in the bed but do not try to get sleep. Insomnia sets in and they
have trouble time during night. At times they tend to get up and down for long
hours. Irregular and disturbed sleep does not allow them to get up fresh in the
morning. It further disturbs them during the following day.
4. Loosing appetite is
another indication
The person does not feel like eating anything. Appetite is totally lost.
Even if the victim was fond of eating or a foodie, they will no longer like to
eat anything. The interest of food is lost because of the depression.
5. Overthinking
aggravates the problems
Another indication is that the person keeps on brooding on the same spot
again and again. The mind does not work creatively anymore. Old problems appear
to be very large and solutions not to be seen. Even if the victim was fond of
music, in the state of depression he or she will not like to listen to music
anymore. State of hopelessness becomes a sea of trouble and it is difficult to
come out of it. The person who continuously worries also finds the life a
burden. His hopes are Diminished. His desire to do something creative dies out.
Not able to do anything imaginative, the person feels useless and therefore the
depression aggravates.
6. Keeping aloof and
being lonely
Keeping aloof can be another cause for depression. Man is a social animal
and it is necessary that we should mingle with others. When we interact with
others we exchange ideas which makes moments interesting. On the other side if
you remain alone, you keep on brooding which does not create any imaginative
environment. And finally one can gain strength of character by reading the
books of the great leaders. Abraham Lincoln the most respect of U.S president
is a great example. He failed in business, public life, lost his beloved in
young age, did become a mental
wreck but came out as a winner due to his resilience and positive
altitude. so we must be resilient. These and such other examples are enough to
convince us that we ourselves are not too bad and have great possibilities. Self-esteem
which might have gone down returns with the ray of hope.
Having known the
symptoms, the next important step is to find out the reasons.
Each person may have different reasons. Some of them maybe common but in
order to work out the solution, it is necessary to understand the specific
reasons which have pushed the victim into depression. For students, it could be
classroom difficulties, something that has happened in the school, in the class
or among peers. The peer pressure takes its toll and often creates an unwanted
and undesirable pressure. Likewise, for an executive, it can be a boardroom
pressure. If a person knows something but he is not able to explain for
whatever reasons, he comes under pressure. Some people are able to adjust to
these situations or to difficult people, while others are not able to do so.
Further, pressure can also be caused by inadequate social interaction. If there
is not sufficient trust among the spouses and each tries to hide certain things
even that can create a pressure.
Studies have revealed
that US is the most depressed country.
She is followed by Columbia, Ukraine, Netherlands and France. Survey
reveals that rich are more depressed than the poor. Events of life are
important to create an impact on the psyche of a person. While there are fewer
variations in the life of the poor the same can be alarming among the people
who are opulent. Further, depression can also be caused due to some infirmities
in the personality. Some people are over emotional. They may also be negative
thinkers. The negative attitude of a person surely takes him towards
depression. It is necessary, therefore to ensure that the attitude of a person
is appropriate to correct the shortcoming.
Finally, we must talk
about how to come out of depression.
The first important thing is that one must maintain a proper regime of
exercise. Exercise helps. Next in importance is sleep. One need to sleep 7 to 8
hours daily. If one does not go to gym or have any kind of rigorous exercise,
just a morning walk for about half an hour is also found very useful. It is
also necessary to he eat healthy food. Junk food or fried and spicy food
creates indigestion which in turn reflects in one’s energy level. It also
reduces mental alertness. The healthy food includes lot of fiber. It is found
in fruits and vegetables. One needs to take a lot of salad along with the
cereals.
Seven
Proven Techniques about how to come out of Deep Sadness?
Often, we find that we become sad due to some small reason. It could be
anything which happened not as we had visualized. It could be erroneous
behavior of somebody we relied on and things like that. But sadness never helps
us. It further aggravates the problem. We lose time. We lose energy too. When
we are sad, we do not feel like doing something which will be self-satisfying.
In fact we would not like to work on any project where application of mind and
some physical efforts are required. So what should we do? In any case
we should try to conquer the malady and come out of it. But how can we do
that? I am giving below some such actions which have proved to be very
useful if you suffer from the state of sadness.
1.Practice
mindfulness
Mindfulness is focusing on the present. When we are sad and when we know
that sadness is not going to help we should encourage ourselves to do something
creative. No doubt mindfulness is difficult. But with practice it can become a
matter of habit. It will have multiple advantages. You become a better manager
of time. You will understand that sadness is sheer wastage of time which can be
better utilized by doing something which you love. Time is better utilized in
doing something creative.
2. Learn to forgive others and also yourself.
Oftentimes, it is observed that primary reason of becoming sad is our
observation that we have not lived up to the demand of the situation
and/or occasion. We have not carried out our duty the way it should have been
done. Thus we tend to become sad because of our own mistakes. At such times,
you need to realize that it is not abnormal. People at all levels make
mistakes. Try to think if you have met anybody who doesn’t make mistakes; you
will find none. Thus, there is no reason to be upset with you. Forgive yourself
and move on. Sadness can also occur when we are betrayed by some of colleague,
family member, social associate etc. But in reality people are always more
concerned with their own interest. Therefore it is not something uncommon when
there is a clash of interest they will not bother about our expectation from
them even if they had promised to do. But, as you must forgive yourself,
you need to forgive them as well. This will surely bring peace.
3. Start doing some
exercise.
Exercise takes away your attention away from the current sadness. You
start to focus on doing something which requires energy as well as application
of mind. Survey reveals that this type of distraction is very valuable to
conquer sadness. You don’t have to run a marathon. You can simply go for a walk
but in a lively place. If you are a member of a club and it is within your
reach then go to the club and enjoy the company of your friends or even other
people who are not very close to you. It will change your mood. The change in atmosphere
will also help.
4. Ward of negative self-talk
It has been observed that when you are sad you start thinking of the past
when you were in similar state. This has, unfortunately, a snowballing effect.
You must remind yourself that you have to deliberately come out of undesirable
state. It is your interest not to remain in that state. It will definitely
require your initiative determination and action. Not easy! But with practice
it becomes achievable.
5. Try to be in company
of happy people
It’s a good habit to remain in the company of happy people. You should
choose your friends. You can surely avoid company of people who are themselves
morose, who are feeling that they are undergoing some kind of depression. Such
people will only aggravate the problem. Even if you are doing good some
problems are bound to be there. In company of positive people, you look at the
situation as a part of life. You will not see your problems in the magnifying
glass. Thus, it’s best to be in company of happy people. Besides, when you are
in the state of sadness, try to find someone to whom you can talk and who
generally makes of sadness.
Sometime ago, we had a very useful discussion regarding managing CHANGE in life. The subject was how to inculcate good habits and how to ward off, the bad ones. Each participant was advised to identify 10 good habits of their friends, colleagues or of family members which each wanted to imbibe in their own personality. At the same time they were also asked to identify 5 bad habits of their own which each wanted to give up. Besides, what efforts have been made so far to give up the bad habits were also to be explained? Since it was a Speech Training Session, the participants were supposed to detail clearly each point with examples. These examples could be chosen from their own lives or those of others known to them. A heartwarming open and interesting discussion led to a number of conclusions. First of all it’s necessary to understand how habits work. A habit is a kind of repetitive behavior for which you don’t think. You don’t have to apply your mind to check up anything before you take action. Let’s examine with some examples. If you wake up at a particular time, you don’t need any alarm to remind you. Taking bath and getting ready is also done as a matter of habit. If you were to check the time you take for getting ready everyday it will be more or less the same. Taking your breakfast fast is also a habit which need consistent efforts to bring about the desired change.
Does it mean that we cannot change our habit/habits which we want to change? No, it doesn’t. We certainly can with required will and efforts. However some habits can be changed by one’s own efforts, whereas some others require professional help. But in both the situations one needs to adopt a systematic approach. First of all we must state clearly what new habit we want to adopt. It’s always better to write in your journal in clear terms. For example, if you have wanted to go for a morning walk but habitually you get up late, you can change this habit. After writing in your journal about your decision to start doing for a morning walk regularly you must fix up the date for starting. The first few days you may have to use the alarm which will wake you up at a particular time. It’s necessary not to laze around after the alarm. Just get ready and go for a walk. It is said that it is normally take 21 days to form a habit. Now I give another example. If you suffer from stage fright and you cannot speak to a group by standing up, you need a professional help. You also require a firm determination that you will overcome the stage fright because it is impeding your progress. Further, you must carefully select the professional. It is like going to the right doctor for getting the ailment eliminated. With appropriate efforts and continuous practice one can definitely overcome the bane of stage fright. In today’s environment, it is necessary. In colleges you have to give presentations, and wherever you work, once you are in a senior position, you need to give presentations to your bosses.
Even if you are an entrepreneur and doing your own business, you need to motivate your staff and for this also you need great confidence. Besides, you must not have any fear of facing the people from the stage.
Five Ways to Break 10 Bad Habits
Nearly everyone has a
bad habit that they should break. Some people have less than others and some
people’s bad habits are more grating than those of others. Bad habits
like excessive drinking, smoking, biting the fingernails, etc., starts slowly
and gradually. They jeopardise your health — both physically and mentally
thereby wasting your time and energy.
Bad habits are hard to give up, they are like a comfortable bed, easy to get
into, but hard to get out off. However, you can achieve anything with the
right amount of willpower and a realistic plan of action. With persistence and
right mind-sets, it’s possible to break your bad habits.
Here are some ideas for breaking your bad habits
1. Change one thing at a time
It is most important that you don’t try to break all your bad habits, at once.
You’re not a superhuman and trying to quit all your bad habits at the same time
is probably going to be hard to achieve. Instead, prioritise and choose the
habit that you need to change most urgently and then focus on that accordingly. 2.Prepare for weak moments
A positive mindset is significant but if you’re not prepared for those weak
moments this can be a biggest mistake. Try to remove temptations as that can
help you prepare for those weak moments. For instance, clear the cupboards of
junk food, keep some distance from friends who encourage you to smoke/ drink
and avoid stressful situations. 3.Set regular reminders
Bad habits are often so deeply ingrained in us that sometimes they can catch us
unexpectedly. To help prevent those accidental slip-ups, try setting yourself
regular reminders to resist those bag habits. 4.Reward your success
The key to breaking bad habits is to make the process as rewarding and
enjoyable, as possible. If you are facing difficulty focusing on the long-term
benefits of breaking bad habits, then arrange small rewards for yourself as you
go along to help keep you motivated.
5.Remind yourself why you’re breaking those habits
In order to successfully break a bad habit, you have to be sure of your reason
for breaking those habits. Find a solid reason for breaking your habit that
really means something to you – such as improving your health, relationship or
appearance – and keep your goal in sight. This will help you to carry on and
stay strong in moments of weakness.
Power
of Good Habits!!
As described above, habit
is a routine of behavior that is repeated frequently, and tends to occur
unconsciously. Bad habits intrude your life and prevent you from accomplishing
your goals. Breaking any habit can be difficult. For instance, if a
person smokes regularly, it becomes his habit and even if he wants to quit, it
becomes difficult for him to give-up.
Psychologist and philosopher William James proclaimed that the entire life is
nothing but a series of habits that we form repeatedly. The power of habit has
been explained by various authors, world leaders and motivational
speakers. One of the famous Authors, Stephen R. Covey, wrote a book
titled “The 7 Habits of successful People” describing an approach to being
effective in realizing your goals.
One can create excellence in big things, by developing good habits even in
small matters. Keeping the desk clean, using mobile with discretion, removing
the clutter from your mind, etc. All these can be practiced again and
again easily. When you instill these habits into your life, you create the
foundation for achieving your goals.
Here are 8 Habits of highly productive people that you may adopt to get the
best out of you!!
1.Ruthlessly cut
away the unimportant
That’s right. Try to
focus only on the important things, and cut away everything that’s unimportant.
There is no point doing something that is not needed for the desired results.
So push yourself to quit wasting time, and bring yourself back to the production
mode.
2.Allocate breaks
strategically
Productivity declines
over time without taking brakes. Take many small breaks during the day. The
rule of thumb would be to take a 5 to 10 minutes break every 2 hours of work.
Breaks are a highly effective way to boosting your productivity.
3.Remove
productivity pitfalls
Things that limit your
productivity must be thrown out. It can be the loud music you listen to
when you work, your phone calls, alerts from your inbox, your slow computer,
the internet, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. These things trap you and
prevent you from getting things done.
4.Tap into your
inspiration
No matter what field
you’re in, your inspiration is the key to your output. So, channel your inner
muse. Keep on thinking and contemplating the things that motivates you. And
definitely you will find that your focus increases thereby up surging your
productivity.
5.Create barriers to
entry
Don’t make yourself
too accessible. If you’re too accessible, then you will face a lot of
interruptions. Nowadays, people can connect with others very easily- with the
touch of button (text, emails, calls, etc.). Therefore, guard your time to
improve your productivity.
6.Optimise time
pockets
Make the best of every
minute. For instance, if you’re working for 10 minutes, ensure that you achieve
maximum outcomes in those 10 minutes and then you can take time off. You
usually get time pockets while waiting for people, commuting, chess app,
reading books, or planning.
7.Set timelines
Be clear on what you
want to achieve, and then set your timelines for them. When you set timelines,
you commit to yourself to complete the work on time, hence, paving the way for
the reality to manifest.
8.Automate
everything possible
Technology today has
made automation possible for a lot of things we do. Hence, find a
way to automate every task and let it be your habit. If you outsource,
delegate. Delegation and automation wherever possible will enhance your
productivity.
By no means, this is a complete list. But as you focus on improving
productivity by adopting good habits you will be inspired to adopt more such
habits which are particularly useful to you.
Thanks for reading.
What you do as your
profession is something which gives significance to your life. Often you have
to start some new project even though you are working in the same job. A new
project could mean an altogether new situation. At the same time it may mean
developing a new client or creating a new product.
Your professional work also gives a social significance to your life. It is
difficult to imagine living life alone. You need people around. And so also
they need you. Society gives you a lot and rightfully expects that you must
also contribute in return. It must work both ways. Whenever you start something
new, it is necessary to thoughtfully consider all the necessary details.
Besides, you must generate enough enthusiasm to ensure a good beginning:
Beginning of a new project
so that it may aptly reflect
the strength of earnest desire
Keenness of what you aspire
Well-begun will always inspire
Focused approach; friends will admire.
Without proper planning, you may expect
flaws in the project, in time, you detect.
Necessary details may not neglect
And, capable personnel you may select
Doubt, suspicion you may dispel
your faith in project may always dwell
your mind remains searching better ways
improving your efforts for the goal you chase.
Clarity of vision replacing your haze
making your attitude worthy of praise.
All above tasks you may achieve
Anxiety and tension, it will relieve
with honest prayer to God, you believe
His blessings for success, you will surely receive.
As a manager you must, first of all keep yourself motivated and then motivate
your team members involved in your work.
.
Modern manager’s main tool
is motivation made to rule.
An organization may be big or small
Motivation always stands a tall.
The objective of getting the best,
from everyone you lead, is your test.
You let their confidence build strong
Tolerate their dissent, but never prolong.
Discussion with juniors must conclude
with welcome decisions or success will
Elude, your core objectives;
will give you a tough time,
Force you to review your own paradigm.
Having motivated yourself and your team, you are equipped to achieve your objective. However, for greater ease and joy while doing your work you must apply mind to improve processes. Applying mind to develop new better processes to achieve your defined objective is the development of technology Just as technology is upgraded you hope to achieve Greater objectives, higher goals the winner, indeed is technology Technology gives you Confidence to accept Greater challenges History of human development Stands witness to the Victory of technology And let application of mind for improvement become your habit. Habit, practice, use of mind Winning tools; develop and find nature helps, and remains kind Baser tendencies you’ll rout and grind Clarity in thinking you must school In a competitive world there is no better tool! In the pursuit to improve and gain more, it is necessary to maintain your perspective at all times. Technology and improvement tools should always be regarded as means to an end your final mission Your mission in mind Desire working strong once loose your perspective many matters may go wrong. Meeting many-many people Friends and hidden foes; always keep your perspective, Caution comes you remain alert, on your toes just the best way to grow. In a competitive world, you have to do your very best remembering always that the best is ever yet to come. So Belittle your own intelligence, never! Let fear of opponent’s intellect fade the best in battle achieved ever is own with courage and mind’s aid Think of your strength Weaknesses underplay Improve your attitude your mind, never allow it, to dismay. Age is no bar for projects great let intelligence work at length Go right ahead rather than wait Purge and, define your latent strength
Whatever be Your Business, You must be a Good Listener
In today’s fast paced
world, communication is extremely important. In fact, in business it is
critical. However, communication is equally important at home when interacting
with your own near and dear ones. It is also important during social
interactions, when you meet people. There is no doubt that your speech should
be very articulate. The speech will communicate the ideas that you want to
convey. However it is even more important to be an active listener!
Communication is always is a two way process. Your articulate speech will go in
vain if you are not listening to the person you are speaking to. You can even
listen to the person with your eyes. Body language tells all. Facial
expressions clearly denote whether the opposite person is listening to you or
not. This means that the best vocal capabilities will not be effective until
these are matched with equally attentive listening abilities.
Now let us examine how to be a good listener. Some of the qualities of a good
listener are as under:
1. You should listen as a friend. Often your opinion will be
different from the person who is speaking. We are all individuals and therefore
no two persons think alike. Listening as a friend enables reconciliation of
contradicting opinions.
2. Furthermore, it is necessary for the listener to make
the speaker appreciate that you are an attentive listener. When somebody is
speaking try not to fidget with anything on your table. You should not gaze at
the news paper / magazine on your table. Even looking at the speaker with a
lost expression, will convey an impression that you are brooding over something
else and not listening to what is being said. Thus you should not only listen
actively but you should also show to speaker that you’re listening actively.
3. Encourage the speaker to join you in the comfort zone. When
you have removed all distractions and you make the speaker aware that you are
listening to them, you must encourage him to open up by your friendly nodding
of the head smile wherever desirable and maintain a comfortable eye contact.
While speaking on telephone you can use words and expressions like – ‘yes’, ‘go
ahead’, ‘hmmm’… etc. These are the voice symbols which tell the other person
that you are actively listening during the phone conversation.
4. Act but never react. Whenever the discussion is held around heavy
states one as to be extra careful. If the speaker raises the voice it is
necessary for you to maintain calm. However you must never give an impression
that anybody can take you for granted. This can be achieved by not reacting to
any unsavory remarks by the speaker. Instead you should use such words and
expressions which will make it explicit to the intruder that you are
unshakable. It is this state of calmness which will unnerve your opponent. The
expression with ‘Act never react’ simply means to use your mind and reply appropriately,
firmly but without raising your voice if the opponent has raised his.
5. You need to
comprehend whatever you
have listened. It is always a good idea to summarize and repeat briefly the
points you have just heard. It will help you to understand all the points
clearly; and in case there is any confusion the same will be clarified there
and them.
6.As a good listener you
have a right to ask questions to the speaker. The speaker will never object to
relevant questions which are briefly asked.
To conclude, good
listening skills is not a rocket science. It just requires an empathetic
attitude and an attentive mind, and forms that basis for long lasting
relationships. And allows you to attain greater success in your
Meetings constitute a part of your work. You hold meetings almost every day or you attend these. Therefore, it is very important that the meetings are conducted or attended to the best of your ability. Your conduct in the meetings should be such that meetings give you the maximum dividend.
Making Meeting Work
Lots of meetings are
conducted by each organization every week. Often the participants are senior/middle
level executives. The cost of the time spent by the participants is very high.
Besides, if a meeting is a not successful in achieving the objectives, the
frustration and interpersonal conflict add to the cost.
However, if meetings can be held effectively, these are invaluable techniques
of taking strong decisions after thorough discussion. It’s necessary to
understand for the coordinators and even the CEO’s to have adequate knowledge
of how to make meetings effective and productive. The chairman of the meeting
plays a very important role for the efficacy of the meeting. Besides, meetings
must give a satisfaction of openly discussing the ideas which you may have but
you may not find an opportunity to express. Thus while on the one side we find
that the poor meetings can be waste of expensive time of the executives, on the
other these can be very helpful. If the meetings are organized effectively,
they can be tools for resolving many managerial issues. These can thus be very
helpful for the Management. The first important question, therefore, is the
real need for the meeting. The coordinator has to clearly workout the
objectives of the meeting. He or she has also to clarify how best the
objectives can be achieved.
In order that we make the meetings productive and helpful we should attend to
the following points which are often ignored: 1)
Planning and preparation: we should define the objectives of the
meeting. 2)
We should select the participants and prepare a list of the proposed
attendees. We may also invite their suggestions on the proposed agenda. 3)
The organizer needs to set the ground rules off the meetings in
consultation with the chairman. In his brief introduction before the meetings
starts the chairman can explain these ground rules. These could be summarized
as :–
a) Participants should speak precisely
and avoid verbosity.
b) Only one person should speak at time.
c) The point which is already made by
one participant should not be repeated by the other and
d) No one should take the discussion on
a personal level. 4)
The organizer must contemplate on what could be the problems. Necessary
steps to avoid these problems should be taken. 5)
Getting results and action: minutes of the meeting should be written
sooner than later, these should be circulated among the participants with or
without a note by the chairman. 6)
There should be follow up action plan and the action need to be
monitored.
