How to develop Courage and Fortitude?

What is courage and how to develop it?

Physical Courage: Facing physical danger, pain, or hardship. For example, a firefighter entering a burning building to save someone.

Moral Courage: Standing up for what is right, ethical, or just, even in the face of opposition, criticism, or social pressure. This includes whistleblowers exposing wrongdoing or individuals advocating for human rights.

Emotional Courage: The strength to face emotional pain, grief, or personal loss. This involves being vulnerable, expressing one’s true feelings, or seeking help when needed.

Intellectual Courage: Challenging conventional wisdom, questioning accepted beliefs, and being open to new ideas, even when they are unpopular or controversial.

Developing courage involves building mental and emotional strength to face fears, challenges, and uncertainties. Here are several strategies to help cultivate courage:
1. Self-Awareness and Understanding
Identify Fears: Understand what you are afraid of and why. This helps in addressing the root causes.
Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can be an effective tool.

2. Small Steps
Start Small: Begin by facing smaller fears or taking minor risks. This helps build confidence gradually.
Set Achievable Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps.

3. Positive Mindset
Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.Visualize Success: Imagine yourself successfully facing your fears. Visualization can strengthen your resolve.

What is Fortitude and how to develop it?

Fortitude is a virtue that involves the mental and emotional strength to face adversity, danger, or pain with courage and resilience. It is often associated with enduring hardship and maintaining moral integrity despite challenges. Fortitude can be broken down into several key components:

Courage: The ability to confront fear, pain, danger, or uncertainty. Courage allows individuals to take action in difficult situations, even when they are afraid.

Perseverance: The capacity to persist in the face of setbacks and obstacles. Perseverance involves sustained effort and determination over time, despite difficulties.

Resilience: The ability to recover quickly from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep going in the face of adversity. Resilience is about bouncing back and maintaining a positive outlook despite challenges.

Endurance: The ability to withstand prolonged stress, hardship, or pain. Endurance involves both physical and mental stamina.

Developing fortitude, or mental and emotional strength in facing adversity, challenges, and difficulties, involves cultivating resilience, persistence, and a positive mindset. Here are some practical steps to help you develop fortitude:

1. Set Clear Goals
Identify your objectives: Clearly define what you want to achieve in both the short-term and long-term.
Break them down: Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks to make them less overwhelming.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset
Embrace challenges: View obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow.
Learn from failure: See failures and setbacks as valuable learning experiences rather than as defeats.
Seek feedback: Actively seek and apply constructive criticism to improve.

3. Build Resilience
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help you stay present and manage stress.

Develop coping strategies: Find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercising, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or counselor.

4. Strengthen Emotional Regulation

Self-awareness: Understand your emotions and triggers. Regular self-reflection can help you manage your reactions better.

Stress management: Develop skills to manage stress effectively, such as time management, prioritization, and relaxation techniques.

Healthy habits: Maintain a balanced lifestyle with regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and a healthy diet.

5. Cultivate Positive Relationships

Support system: Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who encourage and inspire you.
Empathy: Practice empathy and understanding in your relationships to build strong, mutually supportive connections.
Seek mentorship: Learn from those who have demonstrated fortitude in their own lives.

What are the advantages of courage and fortitude?

Courage and fortitude are closely related virtues that play a crucial role in personal development, resilience, and success. Here are some of the key advantages of these qualities:

Advantages of Courage

Overcoming Fear: Courage helps individuals confront and overcome their fears, whether they are physical, emotional, or psychological. This enables people to take necessary actions despite feeling afraid.
Pursuing Goals:  Courage allows individuals to pursue their goals and dreams, even when faced with significant challenges and obstacles. It promotes persistence and determination.
Growth and Development: Stepping out of one’s comfort zone requires courage. This often leads to personal growth, as new experiences and challenges foster learning and development.
Inspiring Others: Courageous actions can inspire and motivate others to also act bravely, creating a ripple effect of positive change.
Ethical Behavior: Courage often involves standing up for what is right, even in the face of opposition. This moral bravery is essential for maintaining integrity and ethical standards.
Leadership: Effective leaders often demonstrate courage by making tough decisions, taking responsibility, and leading by example. This can build trust and respect among followers.

Advantages of Fortitude

Resilience: Fortitude is the ability to endure adversity and remain steadfast. This resilience helps individuals cope with difficult situations and bounce back from setbacks.
Long-term Success: Fortitude involves sustained effort and perseverance. It is crucial for achieving long-term goals and success, especially when progress is slow or obstacles are numerous.
Mental Toughness: Fortitude builds mental toughness, enabling individuals to maintain focus, discipline, and motivation even in challenging circumstances.
Stress Management: With fortitude, individuals are better equipped to handle stress and pressure, maintaining their composure and making rational decisions.
Adaptability: Fortitude helps people adapt to changing conditions and remain flexible. This adaptability is key to navigating the uncertainties of life and work.

Why weakness and faintheartedness is a curse?

Weakness and faintheartedness are often considered a curse because they can significantly impede personal growth, achievement, and overall well-being. Here are several reasons why these traits are seen in such a negative light:

Limited Opportunities:

Personal Growth: Weakness and faintheartedness can prevent individuals from taking on challenges, pursuing goals, and stepping out of their comfort zones, which are essential for personal development.
Career Advancement: In professional settings, these traits can hinder career progression as they may lead to missed opportunities for leadership roles, promotions, and recognition.

Mental Health Impacts:
Anxiety and Depression: Persistent feelings of weakness and faintheartedness can contribute to mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, due to a lack of self-confidence and self-efficacy. Stress: The fear of failure or inability to cope with challenges can result in chronic stress, impacting both mental and physical health.

Social Consequences:
Isolation: Fainthearted individuals may avoid social interactions or challenging social situations, leading to loneliness and isolation.
Dependence: They might become overly dependent on others for support, leading to unhealthy relationships and a lack of self-reliance.

Decision-Making and Problem-Solving:
Indecisiveness: Weakness and faintheartedness can lead to indecision and procrastination, impairing effective problem-solving and timely decision-making.
Avoidance: Individuals may avoid confronting problems altogether, leading to unresolved issues and escalating complications.

Self-Perception:
Low Self-Esteem: Constantly feeling weak or fainthearted can erode self-esteem and self-worth, creating a negative feedback loop that reinforces these feelings.
Lack of Fulfillment: A sense of weakness can prevent individuals from achieving their full potential, leading to feelings of unfulfillment and regret. However, it’s essential to recognize that these traits are not permanent and can be addressed through various strategies, including:
Building Resilience: Engaging in activities that gradually build confidence and resilience.
Positive Thinking: Practicing positive self-talk and visualization techniques to combat negative thoughts.

How so called friends and even close relatives take advantage when they find you are very weak?

Friends and close relatives might take advantage of someone they perceive as weak in various ways, often motivated by personal gain, power dynamics, or unintentional neglect of boundaries. Here are some common scenarios:

1. Emotional Manipulation

Guilt Tripping: They might make you feel guilty for not meeting their needs or expectations, leveraging your emotional state to control you.
Gaslighting: Manipulating you into questioning your reality or self-worth to make you more dependent on their version of the truth.

2. Financial Exploitation
Borrowing Money: Continuously asking for money, knowing you have a hard time saying no.
Using Resources: Taking advantage of your assets (like your home, car, or possessions) without fair compensation or appreciation.

3. Time and Energy Drain
Over-reliance: Expecting you to always be available to help with their problems, projects, or tasks, draining your time and energy.Unfair Expectations: Imposing unreasonable demands on your time or expecting you to prioritize their needs over your own.

6. Social and Personal Exploitation
Social Leverage: Using your social status or connections to their advantage without reciprocating or giving you credit.
Personal Gains: Leveraging your weaknesses to elevate their own status or to fulfill their personal agendas.

Coping Strategies
Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not in your relationships. Communicate these boundaries firmly and consistently.

Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who respect and support you. Consider professional help if needed to strengthen your emotional resilience.

Practice Self-Care: Focus on activities and practices that reinforce your self-worth and well-being, ensuring you have the strength to stand up for yourself.

Develop Assertiveness: Learn to say no and to assert your needs and rights in a calm and confident manner.

Educate Yourself: Understand common manipulation tactics so you can recognize and address them when they occur.


Thanks for reading.

Happiness is a JOURNEY not a Destination?

1) What is happiness and how to maintain?

Happiness is a complex and subjective emotion characterized by feelings of contentment, joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction. While it can vary greatly from person to person and be influenced by numerous factors, there are some common elements that contribute to a sense of happiness:

Positive Relationships: Meaningful connections with friends, family, and loved ones often bring happiness. Nurturing these relationships and spending quality time with loved ones can foster a sense of belonging and support.

Purpose and Meaning: Having a sense of purpose or meaning in life can contribute significantly to happiness. This could come from pursuing meaningful goals, engaging in activities that align with your values, or contributing to something larger than yourself, such as through volunteering or helping others.

Gratitude: Practicing gratitude involves focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of your life, even during challenging times. Regularly acknowledging and expressing gratitude for the good things in your life can enhance feelings of happiness and well-being.

Self-Care: Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is essential for happiness. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, managing stress effectively, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Mindfulness and Acceptance: Being present in the moment and accepting things as they are without judgment can contribute to happiness. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help cultivate a greater sense of awareness and acceptance of both pleasant and unpleasant experiences.

Personal Growth: Continuously learning, growing, and challenging yourself can contribute to long-term happiness. Whether it’s developing new skills, pursuing hobbies, or seeking out new experiences, personal growth fosters a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.


2) Importance of health in happiness?

Health plays a pivotal role in happiness, as it influences various aspects of our lives. Here are several reasons why health is crucial for happiness:

Physical Well-being: Good health enables us to carry out daily activities without hindrance, allowing us to enjoy life to the fullest. When we’re free from physical ailments and discomfort, we’re better able to engage in activities that bring us joy and satisfaction.

Emotional Balance: Physical health contributes to emotional well-being. When our bodies are healthy, our minds tend to be clearer, and we’re better equipped to cope with stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions. Conversely, chronic illnesses or pain can significantly impact our mood and overall happiness.

Relationships: Our health influences our ability to form and maintain relationships. When we’re healthy, we can participate in social activities, spend quality time with loved ones, and contribute positively to our relationships. Poor health can isolate us and strain our connections with others, leading to feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

Sense of Accomplishment: Achieving and maintaining good health often requires effort and discipline. When we make healthy choices and see positive outcomes, it boosts our self-esteem and sense of accomplishment, contributing to overall happiness and well-being.

3) Importance of money?

Money plays a multifaceted role in our lives, influencing various aspects of our well-being, security, and opportunities. Here are some key reasons why money is important:

Basic Needs: Money provides access to basic necessities such as food, shelter, and clothing. Without sufficient funds, meeting these needs becomes challenging, impacting overall quality of life.

Security: Having financial resources provides a sense of security against unexpected events such as medical emergencies, job loss, or natural disasters. A financial cushion can help weather such storms without falling into crisis.

Opportunities: Money opens doors to opportunities for personal and professional growth. It can fund education, training, and skill development, enabling individuals to pursue their aspirations and improve their standard of living.

Freedom: Financial independence affords freedom and autonomy. It allows individuals to make choices aligned with their values and goals, whether that involves pursuing a passion, traveling, or starting a business.

Quality of Life: Adequate financial resources contribute to a higher quality of life by enabling access to healthcare, leisure activities, cultural experiences, and other enriching pursuits that enhance well-being.

Investment and Growth: Money can be invested to generate more wealth over time. Investing in assets such as stocks, real estate, or businesses can lead to long-term financial growth and prosperity.

4) Importance of Communication Skills?

Communication skills are essential in almost every aspect of life, playing a crucial role in personal relationships, professional success, and societal interactions. Here are some key reasons why communication skills are important:

Effective Expression of Ideas: Communication skills enable individuals to articulate their thoughts, ideas, and feelings clearly and confidently. Whether in verbal or written form, being able to convey messages effectively ensures that your intended meaning is understood by others.

Building Relationships: Good communication fosters healthy relationships. Whether it’s with family, friends, colleagues, or clients, the ability to listen actively, empathize, and express yourself respectfully strengthens bonds and builds trust.

Career Advancement: In the professional world, communication skills are highly valued. Effective communication enhances your ability to collaborate with colleagues, negotiate deals, lead teams, and present ideas persuasively. It can be a deciding factor in career progression and leadership opportunities.


Thanks for reading.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

Public Speaking

What is PublicSpeaking? Your ability to communicate to an audience whatever you have in mind clearly and effectively insured is PublicSpeaking. However, it must be understood that the elements of good PublicSpeaking or also this is Siri for your good conversational skills. Thus unless you are able to communicate clearly and effectively it becomes difficult for you to build relationship and influence people.


What are the main elements of PublicSpeaking?

Cicero said the most important thing is that you should know your audience. You should know their likes and dislikes. You should know what is the desired outcome that they need. Cicero said it in three words: ethos pathos and logos, ethos refers to your credibility or your status to speak on that particular subject for which you have invited you have an invite. Pathos is of course the need of the audience he said earlier you must understand audience and what they expect of you. Logos is how you construct your arguments and how you deliver so that there is Takeaway and people feel that the time they have spent with you is worth it.
Thus, clarity in speech, effective modulation so that you are aware able to hold the attention of the people, understanding the response of the audience from the stage to keep them well-connected are the few things you must concentrate upon. You can carry out above by working on the subject, practising and developing your communication skills.


One might ask what are the benefits of developing public speaking skills. This has been the concern of people from times immemorial. The simple answer to this question is: (a) to influence people, (b) to convince them of your views, and (c) to impress them in any kind of interviews. If you have something to say and you are committed and you feel that it is good for the society which you want to serve, there is nothing like developing the area of public speaking. Effective communication on the subject to the desired audience makes public speaking critically important. This has been so in the past. This is so now and it will remain so in future times to come.


Why should a leader must be a good public speaker? Or even a person who wants to grow and be highly successful?

Being a good public speaker is essential for a leader for several reasons which are listed below:

  1. Effective communication is primary means through which leaders express their vision strategies and inspire their team to follow the same. They can motivate only if they are enthusiastic and good public speakers. Another important point is that they have to build the trust. Trust can be built only with effective communication which should be also be honest is delivered confidently.
  2. A great leader definitely possesses a Charisma which depends on how committed and honest he is to what he is expressing we have seen that great leaders over the world have been spending a lot of time and they have been practising the important speeches. It has been said that John Kennedy who is reckoned as one of the most effective speakers spent six months creating his inaugural speech. This inaugural speech of John F. Kennedy is recognised as one of the finest speeches in the world.


What is the importance of good public speaking skills in modern times?

A big public speaking event or a presentation where you have been invited to address certain group of people for a course is of utmost importance. It requires great public speaking ability.

Networking is very important today.In the business environment you should be excellent in conversational skills. Above all, good conversation requires all the qualities of a good public speaker but of course with the difference that it is more intimate and does not require the rhetoric which helps the public speaker on the stage. Besides people who go for interviews we have to communicate very well and that also requires it that public speaking ability.

Insured public speaking is critical for a person to grow in his career and be a successful person.


Thanks for reading.

What are Negative Emotions and How to Kill Them?

First of all, we must understand what are negative emotions. What is the meaning of negative emotion? As human beings we are bound to feel happy or sad with situations or while interacting with people. Impact of such situation or such interaction is emotion. These emotions can be positive or negative. Positive emotions will make us feel happy. Negative emotions on the other side make us feel sad and unhappy. Both these categories of emotions are a part of human life. Both have a role to play. When these are left uncontrolled both these emotions do not help humans. In fact, they tend to add problems in the life which have to be dealt with.

So what should we do?
We must be self-aware and monitor our emotions at all time. What are the examples of negative emotions. Negative emotions are of five types. These are: sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt and shame or embarrassment. Let us examine each of these five types of negative emotions.

Sadness:

This is an emotion which hardly has any positive effect on life. In fact it saps away the time that we lose because of this negative emotion. Except for the fact that we have possibility to contemplate and experience nostalgia, there is no other gain from the emotion of sadness. It reduces energy. It reduces your desire to follow goals. You start feeling that there is no significance of life. If the sadness continues you lose your interest in life.

How to come out of this negative emotion?

The best way is to start doing something interesting. For example if you are fond of painting, start a new picture. If you are fond of singing, start practicing a new song. If you are a health freak, it is time that you start doing some exercise. In short don’t sit and spend away your valuable time in remaining sad.

Anxiety:

Next on the list is Anxiety. Some people may say that anxiety helps you to analyse the situation. It prepares you to meet the challenge ahead. It forces you to do all the preparation that you need to face new situation or a challenge. This is an example of self satisfying assumption. Anxiety will have a negative effect on your brain. Anxiety affects your ability to decide. And it should not be mistaken for need to prepare for meeting any situation. That does not require anxiety. It requires only your decisive thinking and discipline.  Anxiety will only causes stress which will affect your productivity. Whenever you are anxious for a particular challenge which has cropped up in your life the best way is to sit down and write what are the possibilities. You have always to make a choice. If you don’t decide even that will add to your anxiety.

Anger:

The third type of negative emotion is Anger. Anger is the negative emotion which can be used to your advantage. But it will happen only if you are keen to use it. Keen to use Anger to motivate you to do something which you have been postponing. Anger also needs to be in control. When in control you can be sure that it will give you greater energy to face the situation which is difficult and which requires all concentrated effort. However if you think that Anger by itself will help you, if you think that it will solve your problem by itself, you are sadly mistaken. Unbridled anger can cause havoc. It will increase your stress and generate further negative emotions like vengeance or enmity and the like. So, you should be cautious that anger should not be allowed to rule over you. You should only think of using the situation or using this powerful emotion for furthering your course. It definitely enhances your motivation. It definitely increases your willpower to resolve the problem. But as I said earlier you must be in control of your anger. You should not allow anger to have control on you.

Guilt:

Fourth type of negative emotion is guilt. It is generated by your inner self. It happens when you feel that you have done something which you ought not to have done. It is indicative of lack of discipline on your part. It is indicative that you are tempted by small things. It is indicative that you have lesser control on yourself. It is indicative of the weakness of one’s character. How can we use this emotion to our advantage? We should remain self-aware and we should think before doing anything. Over the period you have realized that certain things which you did in the past, left the curse the feeling of guilt. It means that if you are shirking away from your responsibilities, you will have the feeling of guilt. So if you question yourself that you must avoid the negative feeling of guilt which will cause a negative effect on my health, on your thinking, on you brain, you may help yourself to avoid such inaction or even action which you feel will cost you dearly.

Shame or Embarrassment:

Last but not the least we should talk about shame or embarrassment. This negative feeling or emotion demolish our self-confidence. It can reduce our self esteem. This may not be entirely due to your character blemishes. It may be due to environment. Oftentimes there are some incidents where your peers or colleagues or others deliberately try to embarrass you. So what should you do? Whenever you are likely to face such a situation you have to prepare yourself. Maybe you remind one previous occasion when some people misbehaved with you. At that time recall what was your conduct. What was your reaction? How did you deal with the situation? Recall, if you had not handled it properly and that became the cause of embarrassment. You can plan out a different response. In any case if you want to avoid embarrassment which is affecting your personality, you have to do some kind of preparation. In life, if you want to be successful, you have to always prepare for challenging situations. Never be shy of preparation. Never think that you can handle anything and everything because of your ego. Ego has absolutely no place in life except when you mean self-confidence when you’re talking about ego
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Six Tips to Achieve Goals

How to achieve goals?

1. First, you must write down your goals in clear specific language. Then start with not only visualizing but also seeing your goals as clearly as you have written down. For example, if your goal is to go to France and visit Paris, activate your imagination and see that you are climbing Eiffel tower. Likewise, if you want to buy a specific expensive car say BMW, you should imagine or see yourself riding the BMW.

2. You have to figure out that the sense of believing that you have already achieved the goal is to start looking at it.

  1. You don’t see millions who believe but only one who doesn’t
  2. Don’t waste your energy in trying to change opinions
  3.  Price lee don’t look on it, see within

3. Obstacles

Next, you need to understand the obstacles. If all things were very easy then nobody would need to create goals, write goals or work hard to achieve them. Things are not easy and they will never be easy. Once you see yourself achieving your specific goal, then you sit down and work out what are the kind of obstacles you might face. There will definitely be some obstacles, which you can visualize. And one more important thing to remember is that as you move forward towards achieving your goal, some unexpected obstacle will also come which you will have to conquer. It is only your determination, your decision and your perseverance that you will some way or the other help achieve the goal that you have already imagined.

4. Conquering Obstacles

Create a mental picture that the obstacles are coming and you are conquering all the obstacles. Imagine that there is an athlete who is running an obstacle race, while he is running fast; he is also crossing the obstacles. Likewise, now that you know what kind of obstacles will come, you imagine crossing those obstacles, picture yourself conquering those obstacles and still carrying on with your mission.

5. Many doubts can arise in your mind. It is normal. However, clear all the doubts, clear your mind of all doubts which often come, which are quite natural. You say to yourself, nothing doing, no such doubts will stop me from achieving my goal. I have a clear picture of achieving my goal, I am determined and I have created a mental picture of conquering my obstacles. Therefore, there is no doubt that I can do it. The goal itself is a challenge. And all the obstacles that you face while pursuing the goal, will also be kind of smaller challenges. Embrace the challenge. It is an opportunity which will definitely enhance your courage, which will give you more will power to pursue and to be successful. Stay on track. Keep up on the track following the same thing, which you have defined and seeing yourself achieving it. There should be no diversion. Staying on track will definitely make it easier for you to overcome the obstacles and reach your goal. Eventually show the world you can do it. As I say, SUCCESS stands for,

S – See your goal
U – Understand the obstacles
C – Create positive mental pictures
C – Clear your mind of self-doubts
E – Embrace the challenges
S – Stay on track
S – Show the world you can do it.
When the goal is a big project, define it and write it down. Then have a very strong desire for it. That is the kind of motivation, which is necessary to follow the steps that I have already mentioned.

6. Be Practical – Split the big tasks

If it is an arduous task and a big project, split it up. Split it into smaller goals and then give a time line to those smaller goals. You must review these every day. You have to review what you have done. You have to check if you have come up to your expectations or not. This step is extremely important. Schedule it, add a timeline to all smaller goals and then do it.

Thanks for reading.

Who took away my peace of mind?

Nobody else did. It’s lack of understanding by you, your mind. It’s difficult to conceive the vastness of the ocean. But it is even more difficult to imagine the vastness of the   mind. Sea is often very calm only sometimes it is turbulent. While an ocean is turbulence only at some occasions, the mind is at peace on only sometime.  The confusion of the mind primarily arises due to the contradictions experienced in the fast paced life today. There is nothing that we can do for turbulence of the ocean. We can certainly tame our mind to achieve calmness and peace.

In fact peace of mind requires only your focus and consistent reminders to yourself. It has no tangible cost. It’s free
Nature – what it does? When it does? It remains unknown to mankind. Though there is no doubt that extensive study of nature has given us the knowledge and power to predict.
But when we talk of mind it is our choice to train it to be at peace most of the time. We have to understand the difference between peace and bliss. Peace is not bliss but peace offers you an ability to get into state of bliss when you want.
At work place, if you are doing something that you don’t like to do yet you have to do it under compulsion, your mind cannot be at peace. When you are lost in your work and you know that the work is important for you, you are a peace with yourself. Further, if you enjoy your work then every milestone that you achieve will give you bliss. There are the number of Dos and Don’ts which help you to gain peace of mind.
First, let us enumerate the don’ts:

1. Don’t get too much involved in reading the negative news. Our newspapers and electronic media are full these. You may scan through the headlines to be abreast with what is going on. Read books that will give you positivity. So many are available choose what you like and read to follow good suggestions.

Description: Image result for 2.	Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude

2. Avoid spending too much time with people having negative attitude. Interaction with them will sink their negativity into your subconscious mind. Be always pleasant and nice. But instead of spending your valuable time, give them a broad smile and excuse four self.

3. Regard each person as an individual. They are entitled to hold their opinions. Do not be judgmental. Negative emotions like envy, jealousy, criticism of others will affect your peace of mind. So avoid these. But at the same time don’t just agree with anyone just to please humor her. Stand up for yourself.

4. Past is history. It does not have any significance except the lessons you have learnt. So don’t dwell on your past. Its human nature that your thought will hover round events in the past- unpleasant or even pleasant. Just follow lessons that you have learnt.

5. Become friends with members of your family. Children are very intelligent today and they should be treated as friends. Likewise you should be friendly with your spouse. When you talk to your family, particularly, don’t be casual taking them for granted. It’s important what you speak but it is even more important how you say it.

6. Your speech controls your relations with others including members of your family. Therefore use your words with care and discretion. The way you say something is as important as what you say.

7. Don’t be too much attached with your possessions. Practice detachment. What we have today, we may not have tomorrow.

Now about the dos!

1.Learn to focus your mind. Cut the clutter. On and average there comes as many as fifty thousand thoughts in one day. Try to reduce this number by focusing your mind.

2. Practice meditation. It will help more than one can imagine.

3. Cultivate a habit to enjoy only healthy food. Decide that you must eat slightly less than your hunger.

4. Go on vacation periodically. The cycle of routine work needs to be broken as often as possible.

5. Give yourself some quality time. Talk to yourself. Talk about what you like about you. And, further improve the same.

6. Make it your habit to consider that challenges are your opportunities. When you face these challenges with success, it gives you happiness and your mind becomes peaceful.

Thanks for reading.

7 Steps for Self Development!

Why Self-Development is so important today?

In the competitive environment of modern times it’s necessary to continuously enhance your skill. In today’s life the modern man finds himself trapped in a concrete jungle, living a rat race. This is a life full of stress, tensions and anxieties to be the star performer at the workplace, and to be perceived as an ideal son, husband and father at home.
In this continuing madness, he tends to loose his sense of self and finds himself loosing control over his live, powerless as he is to take corrective and remedial action. Such inability to do what is right and bring things back on track is largely caused by the lack of realization of what is wrong and what needs to be done.
The answer to this problem is Self Development.
But what is self-development? As the term suggested it is bringing about all round improvement in one’s own self. A plain dictionary meaning of the term by itself would bring cold comfort to someone who really needs self-development.
We therefore need to understand what self-development is by understanding what it implies. Self-development can be best understood by examining its components. These are enumerated one by one: 

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-knowledge
  • Communication
  • Self potential
  • Health – physical and psychological
  • Social status
  • Social relations
  • Personality

1. Self-awareness: What is self-awareness?
Self awareness is the understanding of where one finds himself. What does he considers as his duty every moment of the day? How is he supposed to utilize each waking moment of his time? What should he say? How and to whom? A high sense of self awareness is seen in person who is proactive in thought, alert in mind and body and energetic in action. Such is person stays ahead in every situation. It’s necessary to improve self-awareness to meet the daily challenges.

2. Self-knowledge:
Self-knowledge flows from self-awareness. Improving self-knowledge should be a continuous activity. It enables a person to truly understand himself – his role and contribution to society. Self-knowledge is also a self-appraisal of the strengths and weaknesses of the personality and character on an ongoing basis. Self-knowledge is also the knowledge of the inner universe of an individual – the knowledge of which is vital to successfully navigate your life in the society.

3. Communication is of critical importance.
Communication is the vehicle for building social relations. This was true in the days when technology and internet did not exist; but is has become even more true today when we are living in a deeply interconnected world. Communication has various aspects these are:

Thoughts and Ideas: Communication originates in the mind in the form of a thought which is translated into an idea to be expressed. A creative mind is fertile ground for positive expression, whereas a negative mind is minefield of hate filled negative communication.

Voice & Speech: The voice represents the emotion and the level of self-confidence of the individual.  The speech represents the spoken words manifested by the eloquence or lack of it in expressing the ideas of the mind.

Morale, Self-confidence & Self Esteem, These have an impact on your communication.
What is morale? A high morale refers to a very positive state of mind of a person which is ever challenged into seeking increasing difficult tasks to achieve. Low morale represents the opposite where all round pessimism pervades; and where procrastination and dreariness are the norm.
An individual’s morale depends upon his self-confidence. The self-confidence in turn depends upon the self-esteem of the individual. A person with low sense of self-esteem has little self-confidence to do the simplest of tasks, while claiming both ownership and responsibility for the same. On the other hand a person with a high sense of self-esteem always lunges forward, taking bold and calculated risks. Such a person always stretches himself in a quest to continuously improve his productivity, and sense of self-fulfillment in his life and in his work. Building or renewing identity is very important, today.

4. Potential needs to be fully explored. That is the first step for fulfilling aspirations.
Each one of us has a latent, immense and untapped potential which sadly few of us achieve. The main reason for remaining underachievers is equally to lack of self-belief in our potential as also the knowledge that such a potential even exists. Self-development really starts where we become aware of our immense potential and start taking positive steps to tap it and creatively utilize it.

5. Good Health plays an important role in all aspects of life.
Health has two aspects – physical and psychological. Good health commonly is commonly understood only as a state where the body remains free from ailments. There is general ignorance about the impact of an healthy mind (free of negative thoughts and emotions) on the physical health of an individual. It is often said a fit mind in a fit body. However, the reverse is equally true – a fit mind ensures that the body remains fit and free from many ‘lifestyle’ diseases.

6. Social Status and Social Relation:
Development of the social status refers to the upward move of individual on the social ladder. The craving for a high social status is considered the highest of the famous Manslow’s personal self actualization hierarchy. A high social status represents his desire for self actualization. Maslow describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be.
Social relations determine the social status of a person. At the same time the person’s social status also determines his social relations. Development of the ability to develop social relations gives an individual the power to increase his ever widening circle of social contacts. This in turn enhances his power, his prestige, sense of self worth and most importantly his social status.


7. Create a Power Packed Personality: 
Personality Development seems to be the buzz word these days. While everyone likes to talk about it, few seem to truly understand. Development of one’s personality is more than adherence to a mere set of guidelines to be followed in terms of dos and don’ts. Personality has several important components that need to be understood and developed. These include:

Posture: An erect posture signifies confidence, a positive forthright attitude, and a fit body that consciously receives large amount s of life giving oxygen into the lungs.

Body Language: This represents the non verbal communication that translates and conveys more than 80% of the message and is often more important than the spoken words.

Thoughts and self-belief: Each individual creates his own universe through self-belief about himself and thoughts about others. Such thoughts and self beliefs either fashion a mind full of prejudice, hate and envy at the negative level or love, empathy and positivity on the other.

Attitude: It is said our attitude determines our altitude. Development of the attitude involves moving away from being negative about persons, and events and seeing some good in everything perceived as bad.

The above stated aspects of self development are by no means an exhaustive list of what one must do for oneself. At the same, these are not water tight compartments that need to be looked in isolation. Often development of a single area can have greater than proportionate effect in other areas. So what one essentially needs to do it to focus and try to better understand each and consciously inculcate the habit to bring about self improvements howsoever small for the overall objective of self development.
Each of these areas will be covered in detail in forthcoming presentations.

Thanks for reading.

How to become a motivational speaker?

You must have a passion and identify it clearly!

1. Develop your passion by doing all what it takes. Strong Passion alone will make a strong Foundation.

Motivational speakers can deliver presentations and speeches on any topic. However, what counts is your passion for the subject you are addressing. Become a motivational speaker by identifying your message and your audience, brushing up on your public speaking skills and promoting your speaking abilities.
Motivational speakers don’t have to complete a specific degree or training program to prepare for their careers, but they must have a unique perspective to share and a talent for communicating and engaging with an audience. Successful speakers recommend starting out by developing your unique idea or passion. Determine what expertise, experiences, and perspectives you can share, and what type of audience can benefit the most from it. While you may have expertise and experience to share on a specific topic, you may still need to do some independent research or talk with other experts to build a stronger base of knowledge in your field.

2. Content is the King. Never undermine its importance! The internet gives you opportunities to test your content before you get on stage. Most people, however, worry that no one will hire them if they give away their best stuff for free.
But if you inspire thousands–or perhaps even millions–of people online, you’ll attract attention and people will want to hear more from you.

3. Innovation is the key for developing new ideas!

You won’t become a successful public speaker by rehashing old ideas in the same way as everyone else. You need to develop fresh, relevant content that people want to hear.
Invest a lot of time into thinking about your message and how you can deliver it in a way that will inspire, motivate, and captivate an audience.
Identify Your Ideal Audience

It can be tempting to think your message will resonate with everyone. But, the truth is, a message that’s too generic won’t leave a big impact on anyone.
So rather than decide you’re going to speak about sales or that you’re going to motivate all business leaders, narrow down your niche. Identify the types of groups who you really want to reach so you can create content that will resonate with them.
Understand the people you will target as audience members before you get too far into the development of your career. Different groups of people need to be communicated with in different ways.

4. A story which is relavant to your statement adds colour to the picture!

Humans relate to stories. We connect to stories. Funny stories. Sad stories. Inspirational stories. We love stories. So tell them. Lots of them. Stories will keep your audience engaged and are also easier for you to memorize.
Gain Speaking Skills Having good content is only part of the battle. The way you deliver your message is more important than the words you use.
Even if you think you’re a rock star speaker already, there’s a good chance you have some bad habits (from swaying back and forth while you talk to using filler words like “um” more than you know).
Join a public speaking group, take a college communications class, or hire a speaking coach to help you develop better communication habits. A few little tweaks to your delivery can make or break your career as a speaker.
Also, record yourself giving a speech and watch it back. It can be painful to watch yourself but it’s important to learn more about your hand gestures, body language, and speaking habits so you can improve.

5. Humour is the spice of life, but it also plays the role of salt while Speaking in Public!

You don’t have to be a comedian to become a motivational speaker, but humor makes a massive difference. Humor works to endear you to an audience, but it’s also a big differentiating factor in the speaking market. Many of the top speakers in the industry use humor in their talks.

6. Let the audience also participate; Allow the audience a chance to laugh!

When you tell a joke or deliver a punch line, give the audience time to laugh. Sometimes speakers like to rush to the next point, but don’t do that. You need to give the audience a chance to respond to what you just said (in this case to laugh), but also if you rush on to the next though while the room is still laughing, nobody will hear what you’re saying.

7. Create the demand for your niche, if it is not in demand!

Once you feel like you have a talk ready to go, start marketing yourself. Build a website that shows you’re a speaker. Add “speaker” to your social media profiles.
Tell everyone you know that you’re looking for speaking engagements. Word of mouth is often a key factor in getting speaking engagements.
Keep releasing content too. Blog about your ideas, guest post on popular sites, make videos, or write a book. Release your ideas into the world so you can gain credibility as an expert.
Event planners will want to see you in action as they make decisions about who to hire to speak, so at some point, you’ll want to create a demo reel that showcases you as a speaker. It may contain footage of you from several speeches, clips of you in the media, or audience reviews of your performance.

8. Knock many doors and finally you will be welcomed!

Early on in your speaking career, you may need to apply for speaking gigs. Be on the lookout for conferences, conventions, and gigs.
Find other speakers with a similar message and see where they’re speaking. You might reach out to event organizers and ask them to keep you in mind for future events.
The more your speaking career grows, the less you’ll need to apply for speaking opportunities. Eventually, people will seek you out.
And if you’re doing well, speaker bureaus will want to represent you and they’ll proactively market you as a speaker for events. They’ll take a percentage of your fee, but they can help you obtain higher paying gigs.

9. The word FREE has a great pull. Offer to speak for Free!

Once you have your content ready to go and you’re comfortable speaking to an audience, offer to speak for free. Reach out to local organizations who may benefit from your content.
There are many conferences around the country who don’t pay speakers (some of them offer free admission to speakers). Apply to speak for them to help you gain practice speaking to a live audience.
Some people do a handful of free speaking engagements before they feel equipped to look for paid gigs while others speak at a few dozen events before they feel comfortable charging. But be prepared to speak for free until you’re in-demand.

Thanks for reading.

7 Habits of highly Effective Conversationalists

‘How to be a better conversationalist?’ is a question that hovers in the mind of all socially aware people of the civilised society.

Besides, an interesting conversation is a very important business etiquette. The skills of effective face to face conversation enable you to build better relations at the workplace and in society. We converse day in and day out. So we must try to think back how often we are very interesting and how often we are not. There are certain rules which we need to keep in mind to develop our good business conversation habits. These are as follows:

1. Be present: When you are conversing with someone for fun or for business negotiation, you should be totally with him or her. A good conversationalist must be an active listener. You need to listen to understand and not to reply back. When you do that you will be more engaging in the conversation. You should not think about anything else; not about any past events nor any similar situations. You should only be listening to the person you are speaking to. While listening, you should be assimilating the information not to reply but to understand. In simple words first understand then only try to be understood.

2. No advice unless you are asked, please: Your conversation should not be just to vent out your opinions or to display that you know everything about the things that you are discussing.
It also does not mean that you should not participate in the conversation. You may hold a different opinion and also express the same decently in an inoffensive manner. Always keep in mind than an effective conversationalist need to be flexible, but, you should be. That can happen only if you listen and understand the other person properly and never interrupt anyone when he or she is speaking.

3. Ask open ended questions using what, how, where, when etc. If these are suitable to the person & situation when they answer these questions, they will be able to speak out in detail what they have in mind. They will be able to throw more light on the subject of conversation which will add to your knowledge and pat their ego. Don’t just ask questions for which the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’. That will not show that you are a good conversationalists.

4. Go with the flow and make the conversation a fun: You must first listen to the person talking and if at all you have to say something different from the current topic wait until the subject changes. Maintain a good sense of humour.
Besides, you need never be waiting for speaking out as soon as the speaker completes the sentence. In such an instance your mind will be only concerned with what you are going to speak. In the process you will not listen and you will not understand what the person just spoke.

5. If you don’t know, say it: You should never behave like “I know everything” even when you know much. One never knows all. Thus, if you are asked something and you don’t know simply say “I am sorry, I don’t know!” There is nothing wrong in that. In fact, I have never met anyone who knows everything. But I must admit that there could be people who show off as it they everything.

6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs: Now, if someone is sharing with you an experience and you also had a similar experience earlier, hold that back. Let the speaker enjoy telling/sharing his/her experience and then briefly only if necessary just in agreement you can say that yes this is true because you also experienced the same.
You should never rob him/her from sharing that interesting experience with you. A good conversationalist has a good sence of humour and makes the conversation enjoyable for everyone.

7. Don’t repeat yourself: Repetition in a conversation is extremely unwelcome. People will get bored and they will definitely think that it is not worth talking to you because you keep on repeating yourself. And many people do the same. Therefore try to think, observe and ensure that you never repeat the same thing over and over again.

Thus, one must listen, be more open and while speaking, should be brief. Verbosity kills the efficacy of the idea. Always use simple language and short sentences. Short sentences means one can vary the sentences between four words to twenty words. If you are using a sentence containing 20 words, you must pause in the middle just like you give commas in a written speech and not speak in one go. Develop a sense of humour to keep the conversation light.

Thanks for reading.

Courage to Continue Denotes Success

The word success as defined in the dictionary means “ the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” . True as it is but definition of the word success changes from person to person. Every individual’s definition of success is different. And why Not? We all have different aims, objectives, goals and purpose of life. And accomplishment of those would mean SUCCESS
to each one of us. Though there is no common definition of success many successful people have presented their views on success. Let us now understand what success meant to them and how best we can add to our success from their experiences.A writer, statesman and a leader as he was Winston Churchill who has contributed immensely to the Britain’s victory in World War II has quoted that
“Success is not final, Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts”. Isn’t it true? Many people think that if you fail at something , it is the end of your life. The suicidal stories you hear after the academic results are declared clearly indicate people’s
attitude towards failure. The quote mentioned above re instills the value of courage to continue the effort in spite of several failures. In short, perseverance is one of the keys to success.
When one wants to achieve something one should turn deaf ears to what people say about your endeavors . Because as the quote goes,” At first they will ask why you are doing it ;But later they will ask How did you do it?
Yes, this is especially important for the people who are torch bearers. Torch bearers are people who attempt to tread the less taken path and are the first ones to do so. When you are pursuing something different and novel, skeptic people always try to ask the validity of such pursuit. Well, if you are convinced about your effort and are ready to give in your hundred percent you will be successful at it. And then the same people would ask you the ways in which you tried to achieve such an untapped feat.
Life is a mix of good and bad times. We are successful sometimes and sometimes we do fail. The most important thing in life is to “Be thankful for hard times as they have made you.” Hard times are testing times. Failures should be visualized as a lesson. I t is rightly said,” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”! Every struggle to get successful will make you wiser and stronger.
While achieving success it is important that you put your heart , mind and soul into excelling at what you have undertaken. If needed you have to sacrifice a lot in order to achieve something great. 

Swami Sivananda has rightly pinpointed the secret of success. He
quotes ,” Put your heart , soul and mind into even your smallest acts”. 

It is also very evident that there is no shortcut to success. It is well known that there is “No elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” Hard work in proper direction definitely yields success. ease everybody.

Success is a result of focus, hard work, learning from failure , loyalty and persistence .

Indeed when you strives to excel at certain thing you are bound to be successful. When you balance your hard work with persistence and loyalty the end result will be none other than SUCCESS.
Nelson Mandela quotes” Don’t judge me by success but how many times I fell down and got back again”.If you have persevering attitude in life, nothing can stop you from being successful. Perseverancefffffff is a factor which differentiates between success and failure.
Success is , thus, relative to each individual. Unfortunately, many people don’t have goals at any time in life. Life is very short and the most important thing in life to be successful is to set some goals. What is a life without goals? People misconstrue goals to be only related to career and finances.
Well, negating that opinion you can categorize goals as:

  1. Career goals,
  2. Financial goals,
  3. Health goals,
  4. Family goals and
  5. Goals for society
  6. Hobby Goals
  7. And Spiritual Goals

You have to take charge and set goals for yourself. The priority of goals would differ from person to person. You may feel family and health goals are more important than the rest of the goals. An ambitious person may prioritize on career and financial goals. Hobby goals are the goals which are meant for yourself satisfaction. Society plays an important role in everyone’s life. You should also set some goals which will benefit the society. It is a way to give back to the society where you belong.


Maslow’s pyramid of self motivation has the self actualization need at the top of it! Spiritual goals help achieve that need of a person.
While setting up goals make sure that your goals are SMART.
SMART Goals mean

S- Specific
M-Measurable
A-Achievable
R-Realistic
T-Time bound
Well, to achieve success be specific about what you want to achieve. The goals should have some yardstick against which you can measure your success. You should always have realistic goals and not unbelievable ones.
An example of setting a goal could be “ I want to reduce my weight by 1.5 kgs in a matter of 15 days. Once you do that you can start working over it by chalking out a plan and then executing the same.
Always check on what you have achieved against what you wanted to achieve And keep on bridging the gap, if any. When diligently persevered, success becomes a habit!!


Thanks for reading.

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